3 month itch

**CeaBee** · 04-09-2010, 11:42 AM

Re: 3 month itch

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Compry, i think most men get complacent when they're getting regular sex. they don't want to upset the apple cart, so they don't want to share that the person they're getting the regular sex from may not be the one. that's why a majority of them dread the honesty of the talk because it will cut of their regular sex. </div></div>

She just want to know how u feel about her (love? like? indifferent? exclusive?) I don't think is ring she looking after three months.

**Wendy** · 04-09-2010, 11:49 AM

Re: 3 month itch

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Curmudgeon_Milo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I am not sure how old she is but I would totally expect this from a woman who is nearing the end of her child bearing years and who would like to start or enlarge her family.

In a younger or older woman or one that is not out to have offspring (or have children anytime soon)I would expect this talk to come up after a year of dating. I think after one year of dating you should be able to commit or end it so that both you and her can move on to find a more suitable potential partner. If you are both content on continuing dating or living together after one year then that is great too but you need to have "the talk" so that both are on board.

JMHO </div></div>

I agree whole heartedly

**Suesumba** · 04-09-2010, 11:53 AM

Re: 3 month itch

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CeaBee</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Compry, i think most men get complacent when they're getting regular sex. they don't want to upset the apple cart, so they don't want to share that the person they're getting the regular sex from may not be the one. that's why a majority of them dread the honesty of the talk because it will cut of their regular sex. </div></div>

She just want to know how u feel about her (love? like? indifferent? exclusive?) I don't think is ring she looking after three months. </div></div>

yes i know is not ring she's looking after three months. but how many *men* are going to say "i feel indifferent about you"?, or "i don't like you too much but the sex is regular keep it coming". or, "i like you the same as i like my drinking buddy, septing i just don't have sex with him".

if he does say "marjorie, i'm having feelings for you" it's just the feelings he gets in his pants.

**Wendy** · 04-09-2010, 11:54 AM

Re: 3 month itch

RC - from my experience and please don't be upset with me ... If a guy has long term or true interest he will not hesitate to divuldge his feelings. It's really a honest assesment of how you feel that she seeks.

When they start hum-haaing over the issue it raises my eyebrows Like someone says ..it's not a ring she is asking for.. but how do you <span style="text-decoration: underline">feel</span> ..And I thik if you were expressive in that way she would not have to asked. Have you expressed that to her by the way? And yes I know some men say they "express" their feelings in diff ways but a woman needs to <span style="font-weight: bold">hear</span> it as well. Dats just how we are

**LusciousJohnson** · 04-09-2010, 11:55 AM

Re: 3 month itch

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compray</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Calf, flip the switch. If you were the one wanting a long-term commitment from this lady, would you not want to know where things stand? </div></div>

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Compry, i think most men get complacent when they're getting regular sex. they don't want to upset the apple cart, so they don't want to share that the person they're getting the regular sex from may not be the one. that's why a majority of them dread the honesty of the talk because it will cut of their regular sex. </div></div>

i hear RC point of view from men a lot, so i'm wondering do men EVER bring up this talk to women first? or they keep quiet even if they want to have the talk just to keep getting their regular sex?

**CeaBee** · 04-09-2010, 11:56 AM

Re: 3 month itch

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CeaBee</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Compry, i think most men get complacent when they're getting regular sex. they don't want to upset the apple cart, so they don't want to share that the person they're getting the regular sex from may not be the one. that's why a majority of them dread the honesty of the talk because it will cut of their regular sex. </div></div>

She just want to know how u feel about her (love? like? indifferent? exclusive?) I don't think is ring she looking after three months. </div></div>

yes i know is not ring she's looking after three months. but how many *men* are going to say "i feel indifferent about you"?, or "i don't like you too much but the sex is regular keep it coming". or, "i like you the same as i like my drinking buddy, septing i just don't have sex with him".

if he does say "marjorie, i'm having feelings for you" it's just the feelings he gets in his pants. </div></div>

Is RC i was trying to give feedack to bout the ring, suh him wouldn't feel suh ...um.. cornered?

but i hear you sue
<span style="font-style: italic">
delete tingdere number outta mi phone </span>

**Compry** · 04-09-2010, 12:11 PM

Re: 3 month itch

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">RC - from my experience and please don't be upset with me ... If a guy has long term or true interest he will not hesitate to divuldge his feelings. It's really a honest assesment of how you feel that she seeks.</span>

When they start hum-haaing over the issue it raises my eyebrows Like someone says ..it's not a ring she is asking for.. but how do you <span style="text-decoration: underline">feel</span> ..And I thik if you were expressinve in that way she would not have to asked. Have you expressed that to her by the way? And yes I know some men say they "express" their feelings in diff ways but a woman needs to <span style="font-weight: bold">hear</span> it as well. Dats just how we are </div></div>

Agree wid yuh.

Like you, speaking from my own experience, any guy who wanted a long term commitment aka marriage, stated it upfront. There was no sitting back and enjoying no ride.

**ILP** · 04-09-2010, 12:27 PM

Re: 3 month itch

RC...you nearly mek mi PUMS fi real

seriously, though.
the "let's talk" whether it is from the man or woman is just a way to make sure that the both of you are on the same page. keep in mind that the "same page" is different for everyone, so talking about it is important in my opinion.

as far as the "pay attention to what i do and that will show you how I feel." that is true, but understand, if you are really digging each other (literally and figuratively) then you wont mind giving each other "the love" in the manner in which they need to receive it.

**LusciousJohnson** · 04-09-2010, 12:59 PM

Re: 3 month itch

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compray</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">RC - from my experience and please don't be upset with me ... If a guy has long term or true interest he will not hesitate to divuldge his feelings. It's really a honest assesment of how you feel that she seeks.</span>

When they start hum-haaing over the issue it raises my eyebrows Like someone says ..it's not a ring she is asking for.. but how do you <span style="text-decoration: underline">feel</span> ..And I thik if you were expressinve in that way she would not have to asked. Have you expressed that to her by the way? And yes I know some men say they "express" their feelings in diff ways but a woman needs to <span style="font-weight: bold">hear</span> it as well. Dats just how we are </div></div>

Agree wid yuh.

Like you, speaking from my own experience, any guy who wanted a long term commitment aka marriage, stated it upfront. There was no sitting back and enjoying no ride.
</div></div>

that pretty much answers my question

**sistacaf** · 04-09-2010, 02:07 PM

Re: 3 month itch

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> But sometimes oonu nuh fi force a ting because when yuh do, mose a time a man will be quite contented an happy, an di nyeng nyeng will juss turn im off.

Cause personally, I find these arguments always seem to come from left field.</div></div>

yep i understand that fully, it turns me off when is done to me before i ready feit too.

butseeyah, the point of you asking this question is to find out "why" women (or any person) 'does this'. The answer to that query is: if you want to understand how this gal's mind works, u wih realize seh is <span style="font-weight: bold">not</span> outta left field for her. this way of thinking is ALWAYS present in the mind of a somebody who's seeking committment. these things are forefront to them, even if it's not to you. once u understand that way of thinking, u can then see how to them, its not outta left field, is just regular and normal <span style="font-style: italic">in they mind.</span>

if u wanna stay in relation with a person like this, then making some effort to understand their ways is part of the relation. especially when u start get closer and discover that they different from yourslf. cau you then also have a choice to make. Either meet them halfway by being generous with yourself and share some info <span style="font-style: italic"> just cause it's important to them</span> - or - say never mind, this is not what i want and is too much a turnoff fi me. That's how you know for yourself if you want to continue with this person or not, once you know what it is they looking for. cause she clearly showing you that she wants more than just hangin out and flexing nice.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">i'm wondering do men EVER bring up this talk to women first? </div></div>

yep they sure do. i'm a woman who not necessarily interested in a r'ship "must" culminate in marriage, in fact i'm like RC - i'm the one who just wanna enjoy things and see how it develops and NOT push it.... and there have been men who 'went there' with me, pressing me for answers, long before i think is the appropriate time fi alla that.

no mind i <span style="font-style: italic">understand</span> it coming from others early on; and if they really 'need to know' for their own peace of mind i can respect that & share my feelings. if is smaddy i care about i can gih dem that, no problem. But my personal preeference is that i agree with milo - more like 8-12 months is more the right timing than after juss a short time.

then again i knew from long time that i could not bear chilren so that was never an issue for me. and i know i'm an odd bird in general about this stuff, cause i'm a woman who's <span style="font-style: italic">not </span> lookin committment and serious and all that as my goal ina de first place. if it happens that's great, i'd be thrilled to develop into that with someone - but it's not my main priority. so i'm not lookin at the person and examining evry little thing against that backdrop. (and i realize this makes me different from the majority of women.)

so it usually the guy that wants to pin <span style="font-style: italic">me</span> down, which i usually don't wanna deal with. i more want to just go along and see how things develop naturally over time, without pushing it. cause i don't really care if we spend the rest of life together, i'm perfectly fine on my own. For me a long term committed r'ship is a choice, not a 'need' - IF i'm with someone it can work with. i more care how we get along when we ARE together, and if it winds up goin there, well we can deal with that as it comes.

so yes, it definitely goes both ways

**CyberPhobic** · 04-09-2010, 05:40 PM

Re: 3 month itch

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sistacaf</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

so it usually the guy that wants to pin <span style="font-style: italic">me</span> down, which i usually don't wanna deal with. i more want to just go along and see how things develop naturally over time, without pushing it. cause i don't really care if we spend the rest of life together, i'm perfectly fine on my own. For me a long term committed r'ship is a choice, not a 'need' - IF i'm with someone it can work with. i more care how we get along when we ARE together, and if it winds up goin there, well we can deal with that as it comes.

so yes, it definitely goes both ways </div></div>

Juss want to add doe, mi nuh feel sey ennybady can put time pon feelings. Dat ting can kreepup pan yuh wen yuh lease hexpekk it suh mi nuh subskribe tuh di 3, 4, 8, 12 monts ting. Peeple muss be free fi dash whe di ole grip dem an embrace what IS.

By time dem di dey a crass awf numba pon calendah and a have count dung, time pass, feelings chanjj and love lost. A pickney tings dat. Juss do wha come natural an lekk di chips fall where dem may.

Honesty, honesty, honesty. THAT is the key. Tuh much peeps waah have dem cake (luvup, cuddleup and henjay company) and waah nyam it tuh (nuh waant di wukk/commitment whe guh widdi investment).

Man an ooman need fi juss be opin an honess widdem wan a nedda and tap fawm fool inna dem ole age yaah man. Eida yuh want di smaddy 100% or nat. Problem solved.

**MarieK** · 04-09-2010, 08:09 PM

Re: 3 month itch

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Wendilina</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yes it have to....time is of di essence....eggs drying up....breasts and batty dropping...and di pool of available men shrinking...

tap waste di ooman time </div></div>

Lawd a gad mi belly a hat mi </div></div>

If di egg drying up and batty an bress dropping a nuh wan relationship she a look she a look a sperm donor and a bress an batty support fi liff dem up.

as fi di conversation thingy mine is usually where do u see this thing going in 2 yrs if him seh and mi act according to what him seh.

if him seh "hmmm I hope that we will be at xyz doing abc den mi know him have plans paws tudeh yuh see mi?

if him seh "I don't know" dem mi haffi guh evaluate di sex and give it a shelf life is this a 3 month thing or 6 month cause eeda way it nah guh no weh.

**mariane** · 04-09-2010, 08:17 PM

Re: 3 month itch

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Rollin_Calf</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So we are enjoying each other’s company, plenty of laughs and good times, di flexing sweet, pure niceness. So it’s about three months now and she start the analysis:

“RC we really need to talk about where this thing is going”
“Wah” ?
You know, how do you really feel about me, I just need to know”

“I’m beginning to develop some really serious feelings for you and I don’t want to get hurt”
“Well me not looking to get hurt either so we are both looking for the same thing”.
“OK but I still want to know what you are looking for long term cause I’m a grown woman
and I am not getting any younger”
“Soh mek wi si what develop noh man” ?
“Well I can’t live like that. I can’t get up evry morning not knowing whether you are still committed ”

Why do some women do this ? I mean if everything is going well, why oonu always haffi open up this thing and start all this interrogation and analysis ? And it always seem to start after about three months or so. Is wah do oonu ? Juss relax and enjoy oonu self noh man !
Cho ! Why everyting haffi plot out on graph paper ??
</div></div>

lol this is a classic

In my experience a woman that asks a man where things are going after just a few months has plans and is usually quite impatient to push them through.

Its Like its been suggested on here already - your better off telling her the absolute truth.. which maybe I'm wrong but sounds like yOU really don't know & your simply enjoying the friendship for what it Is.

GL and remember the momment is always going to be more important than the time

**quodlibet** · 04-10-2010, 08:43 AM

Re: 3 month itch

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CyberPhobic</div><div class="ubbcode-body">... Eida yuh want di smaddy 100% or nat. Problem solved.
</div></div>

Disagree, 100% no jus come so, afta a no scratch an win!

sometimes it haffi build up, dis month a 30%, nex month a 32%, an so on...

**Nunya** · 04-10-2010, 09:41 AM

Re: 3 month itch

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Quodlibet</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Disagree, 100% no jus come so, afta a no scratch an win!
</div></div>

Lawd

3 month itch

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