Adult revelations

[julie*mango]

Re: Adult revelations

i found out i was legally adopted by mi dad's first wife (rip ) fi immigration purposes...an none a dem cuddan tell mi dat? wat the hell was di big secret???

[sistactry]

Re: Adult revelations

so Skells, where is ur bio Mom??

[julie*mango]

Re: Adult revelations

mi bio mom

she deh right yah so a mi yard mam

an mi dad deh a fi har yard a yawd

[twiney]

Re: Adult revelations

so wait u just a figure out how u ketch a farrin?

[Tulip]

Re: Adult revelations

I have one brother and he is adopted. My paternal grandmother influenced my parents to keep it a secret. It is a wonder it was kept because everybody in the neighborhood and at church knew he was adopted. It was a secret kept tighter than the Santa Claus scheme.

Sooo, when he started playing football in high school and they needed a true state sealed birth certificate is when what I call active lying began. He found out he was born in Montgomery and not Mobile and my mom said she went into labor while on some sort of principals convention.

I think when we donated blood and were all O positive and he was A negative or some type that could not result from two O positive parents then perhaps he should have started to question, but he still did not. I told him after he graduated from high school while we were driving across the bay to go to the bridge. He did not believe me and I later took him to the safe deposit box and showed him the papers.

I told him that because he had a rare blood type that he should bank his own blood in case of an emergency, but I think I always believed he should have known.

Now, as for his reaction, he hated his birth mother at first. He said she was a hoe who would kept him if she loved him. I would have thought he would want to find her, but that was not at all the case. We certainly had enough information to find her easily, and I did not know at that time that my dad had already found her and knew address and all.

It took a number of years be he finally did want to find her and he did about 3 years ago. They had the same major in college and are both ministers now. He looks like she spit him out. He has early male pattern baldness just like his father. (My dad is old and still has a full head of hair.)

What the entire experience has done was leave me with no firm opinion about nature versus nurture. Before I was all about the nurture, but I cannot stand on that anymore.

[DearK]

Re: Adult revelations

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tulip</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I have one brother and he is adopted. My paternal grandmother influenced my parents to keep it a secret. It is a wonder it was kept because everybody in the neighborhood and at church knew he was adopted. It was a secret kept tighter than the Santa Claus scheme.

Sooo, when he started playing football in high school and they needed a true state sealed birth certificate is when what I call active lying began. He found out he was born in Montgomery and not Mobile and my mom said she went into labor while on some sort of principals convention.

I think when we donated blood and were all O positive and he was A negative or some type that could not result from two O positive parents then perhaps he should have started to question, but he still did not. I told him after he graduated from high school while we were driving across the bay to go to the bridge. He did not believe me and I later took him to the safe deposit box and showed him the papers.

I told him that because he had a rare blood type that he should bank his own blood in case of an emergency, but I think I always believed he should have known.

Now, as for his reaction, he hated his birth mother at first. He said she was a hoe who would kept him if she loved him. I would have thought he would want to find her, but that was not at all the case. We certainly had enough information to find her easily, and I did not know at that time that my dad had already found her and knew address and all.

It took a number of years be he finally did want to find her and he did about 3 years ago. They had the same major in college and are both ministers now. He looks like she spit him out. He has early male pattern baldness just like his father. (My dad is old and still has a full head of hair.)

What the entire experience has done was leave me with no firm opinion about nature versus nurture. Before I was all about the nurture, but I cannot stand on that anymore. </div></div>

Very interesting! Why did YOU tell him and not your parents? Did you let them know of your intention? How old was your brother at the time? How did he feel about your parents and others keeping the secret? Seemed everybody turned out ok- his bio mom did this for his sake then?

[DearK]

Re: Adult revelations

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">mi bio mom

she deh right yah so a mi yard mam

an mi dad deh a fi har yard a yawd </div></div>

I'm lost. Your parents separated when you were young. Dad came to America, married, and the new wife adopted you so that you could migrate? Now your mom lives here in America and your dad moved back to Jamaica? Did I get it right? What happened to your dad's other wife?

[julie*mango]

Re: Adult revelations

ah sah....


parents were never married wen mi born
dad married to him fuss wife an leff ja wen mi was a baby
dem (she) file fi mi
she dead
dad retire an go back to ja
parents recently married after 36 years of togetherness(??)
(bio) mom here visiting

yes i know

[Hush Darlin]

Re: Adult revelations

I know of a family that adopted a baby boy years ago and they never told him that he was adopted.
The parents split a few year ago and he found out and he is very upset with the whole family

[Tulip]

Re: Adult revelations

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear K</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Very interesting! Why did YOU tell him and not your parents? Did you let them know of your intention? How old was your brother at the time? How did he feel about your parents and others keeping the secret? Seemed everybody turned out ok- his bio mom did this for his sake then? </div></div>

I don't think my parents ever would have told him, and I did not let them know beforehand. Their reaction surprisingly enough was relief that I had done it.

My brother seemed numb about it. He directed all his anger towards his birth mother. He did ask my parents why they did not tell him and I guess the gist of the response was that it had gone on for so long that it just got out of hand and they did not know how. I am not sure if they ever told him that my father's mother told them not to.

His bio parents are still together and they have two daughters. So my brother has two sisters and it feels weird to hear him refer to either of them as &quot;my sister&quot; because for the longest time &quot;my sister&quot; only meant me.

The initial story from the adoption agency was that his mother was a college student who had gotten pregnant and gave him for adoption. Well, it turns out his two sisters are older than him. So now the official story is that they could not afford another child. I have a different theory, but I am definitely keeping my mouth clamped firmly shut about that to him.

I felt sorry for him to find out he was the last child. That sort of made it feel more like a &quot;why didn't they want me&quot; thing to him. At first, he was talking to them at least once a week but that has tapered off. He was living with me at the time, and they (mother and both sisters) came to Atlanta to meet him. The father would not come.

[Tulip]

Re: Adult revelations

Oh and he was 17 at the time I told him.