Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

[Stormmey]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Rollin_Calf</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ILP, From my perspective as a man, I only see that kind of love in books and movies these days.

My experience is that many (? most) relationships now are, at the end of the day, merely transactions of one sort or another (you've listed some of them quite nicely). Dating is a series of negotiations and a commitment lasts only as long as the relationship is meeting some practical need for either party. And if an 'upgrade' comes along, well hey, &quot;this relationship isn't working for me any longer RC&quot;.

Mi really noh si di &quot;love&quot; bizniz in effect dese days. <span style="font-weight: bold">In fact, if a woman were ti tell mi tomorrow that she loves me, I wouldn't believe it</span>. It soun cynical a way but a soh di ting set. IMHO. </div></div>

Rollin i love you

[ILP]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SandiF</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Cheating is a betrayal of trust...
When that trust is gone there is little to no recuperating. You could a love the person 'til die kingdom come but once as they cheat the respect, trust and confidence goes. Elin and Tiger may very well still love each other but from Elin's view her trust for him is no more.

Btw, a man may love his wife but has in inherent habit of being a cheater. Know quite a few men who are like that... they love, give and provide for their wives but they have several women on the side. They treat each woman with compassion and empathy but will never leave the woman whom they've made a commitment to. Also, men who cheat just love more [censored]-[censored]... mi can't cut it any other way. The one at home will not be enough for them... it is all about SEX. </div></div>

Sandy, I agree with you entirely! Cheating is a betrayal of the contract (the trust). If the a person is open about what they are doing, then it is no longer cheating. Most &quot;marriages&quot; say that as a part of the agreement the need for fidelity from the partner is utmost important. The cheat in this scenario is when one of the people in the agreement goes out and takes another sexually. Now how do people work around this (in the scenario) we are using? They have open contracts/marriages BOTH partners are aware of the others &quot;escapades&quot;...but that is another kind of thing...not popular at all.

I've heard of couples that have split because the partner &quot;cheated&quot; with the finances. Cheated in revealing health (as in the ability to have/not have kids), etc. So the cheating is not always about sex (although in our western world that is the common though processes).

For me, I am not mad with a dude that says point blank, I like sex and like sex with often and with as many people as I can have it with. I am not mad, as the person has not portrayed themselves one way when they are actually another (the cheat). It gives me the opportunity to say OK or not OK. You know what is funny, I know plenty of folks, personally, that are in open marriages/contracts and have been happily married/committed for years. Like smaddy seh in another post (I think it is RC) contracts/marriages are what between the two people that enter it. The terms should be negotiated/renegotiated by them alone.

Now I will use myself to end my point. I am not married and have no plans to do so. Period. I see no need for it. The dude I am with and have been with for almost a decade now (in a committed relationship) is the person I have made a commitment to and as far as I am concerned, it is for the duration or until one of us bites the bucket.

What breaks the contract for me...is the day I find out that he has been dishonest (and I don't measure degrees either), as I do not play that...PERIOD. The rest I know that we can negotiate and renegotiate, as they come up. Heck...the child we now have is an example of such a negotiation. Another may have seen it as a deal breaker.

<span style="font-style: italic">I love this....weh di ADMINS deh? A actual discusssion pon Ja.com widdout smaddy a cuss off smaddy else warrah-warrah. Mi want dis post fi use as an example </span>

[ILP]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Rollin_Calf</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ILP, From my perspective as a man, I only see that kind of love in books and movies these days.

My experience is that many (? most) relationships now are, at the end of the day, merely transactions of one sort or another (you've listed some of them quite nicely). Dating is a series of negotiations and a commitment lasts only as long as the relationship is meeting some practical need for either party. And if an 'upgrade' comes along, well hey, &quot;this relationship isn't working for me any longer RC&quot;.

Mi really noh si di &quot;love&quot; bizniz in effect dese days. In fact, if a woman were to tell mi tomorrow that she loves me, I wouldn't believe it. It soun cynical a way but a soh di ting set. IMHO. </div></div>

I think we agree, RC, on a practical level. You are right about marriages/contracts and what they are about at the end of the day. I just wished that more people stopped the pretense about that which they are making the commitment. If they were simply honest and admit that what they are committed to is the &quot;life/ideals/money/social stats/things/self fulfillment, whatever&quot; that the person brings and not the person themselves...well then...things would be easier wouldn't it? IMO, nothing is wrong AT ALL about entering the marriage/commitment/contract for those reasons, as long as both parties are honest about it.

Not popular and certainly not romantic. But reality, indeed.

[Gen]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

agreed.

it's nice today, not too humid with a breeze coming off the east river. I live in bococa(brooklyn) a nice hood with lots of artisan/indie shops. took my 10 year old to watch shrek, then we ate gelato while walking around a bit

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SandiF</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Gen it nuh matter if she pick up education before or after the marriage, just as long as she has started to take charge of her life... it nuh too late. Tiger made the bed he is now sleeping in and Elin a mek her own.

How NY today? Wish I were in the big dirty apple today.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">dese are things she should have been doing during di marriage juss cause yuh
married and have kids nuh mean yuh must stop wid di mind, body and soul ting

wonder if she a guh write fi har version of eat pray love ? </div></div> </div></div>

[Gen]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

was not referring <span style="text-decoration: underline">solely</span> to the trips, but to &quot;everthing&quot; she has suddenly decided to do, now that she and tiger a nuh &quot;bench and bathy&quot; anymore. (and when mi seh bench and bathy mi talking bout the tournaments mi always used to see her attending with her twin sister in identical outfits \0/...mi nuh know why 2 big hardback ooman a wear identical outfits out in <span style="font-weight: bold">public</span> at that )

<span style="font-weight: bold">disclaimer</span>: mi nuh know if she was doing these things during the marriage cause mi nuh know her but it certainly seem like she just start do them.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Rollin_Calf</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sistacaf</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Why bother with the whole married business then.. </div></div>

what? u mean to say once you get married, u supposed to forget about your personal development? no man. one must keep up with them own personal learning and self-improvement even while in a relationship/marriage. that's how a person can continue to bring something positive, motivated, and farward-thinking to the relationship and family. without it, one stagnates and loses themself, that kinda person isn't any good to anyone.</div></div>

SC, here is what Gen said Elin should have been doing <span style="text-decoration: underline">during the marriage</span>:

<span style="font-style: italic">&quot;Nordegren took at least four trips without her husband in the weeks after his affair scandal broke -- traveling to Sweden, Arizona and southern Florida, as well as spending a week solo on their yacht&quot;.</span>

So my question remains, other than finding someone to pay for these solo trips, why bother wid a man in the first place ??? Eff a travel yuh waan fi travel by yuself, den mek di man dem gwaan bout dem bizniz ! Just do your thing (on your own dime, I might add) &quot;for your own personal learning and self-improvement&quot; without all the drama ! Noh true ? </div></div>

[Gen]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

that's <span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 14pt">precisely</span></span> what I meant, in a nutshell, but lack the patience fi type it all out, key word here meaning patience.


<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ILP_ULOOK_GR8</div><div class="ubbcode-body">RC, although mi not Gen...I think what she meant is that each person in a relationship (long term/marriage) should have their own <span style="text-decoration: underline">separate</span> interests as well as interests that they do with their SO. What Elin did (although mi nu know har) is that when she married Tiger, she stopped looking her own interests/self development and became Tiger's Wife, the mother of Tiger's children, Tiger's arm candy, etc. and nothing for just Elin. All things she should be doing (as his wife), but she neglected her own self development.

Anyone who is in a healthy relationship will tell you that they must have interests that are outside of there partner, as it is this outside development that they use to grow as a person and can bring back to the relationship. Now these outside interests can be anything, but it should be something that has nothing to do with being someones mother, daddy, wife, husband, sister, brother, son, daughter, etc, but just you alone.

ETA: In the case of Elin, she juss a ketch up on what she shoulda been doing in the first place.


</div></div>

[Shine_Eye_Girl]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

I love to read conversations without insults.

I used to have this idea in my head about marriage....I HAD TO BE MARRIED!!!! Fast forward to today.....

[Gen]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Rollin_Calf</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Healthy relationship maybe, but a healthy marriage ? I don't know.

Everytime I hear about spouses taking vacations separately for example, I can start the countdown clock.........I've been right everytime. </div></div>


hmm not so much, a separate vacation once in a while does not break a relationship. something was wrong with the relationship prior to the &quot;separate vacation&quot;

insecurities and lack of trust reared ugly heads.

<span style="font-style: italic">mods this can guh dunga deark now please</span>

[Gen]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

in no way, shape or form am I advocating for anyone to <span style="font-weight: bold">only</span> take separate vacations outside their immediate family, that nuh mek no sense whatsoever and therefore, why get married or be in a long term relationship ?

but if i decide to book a trip to canyon ranch for 3-5 days to take some &quot;me&quot; time, why would I want husband and 4 pickney wid mi ? that's kinda why I booked the trip in the first place, to get away from them for a minute and catch my breath.

[R_C]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Rollin i love you </div></div>

Aye sah...

[R_C]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

Allright, so Gen, I keep hearing my sisters using this phrase, &quot;me time&quot;. Is what dat code mean please ?

[julie*mango]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

it means eff everybody...man chile puss an dawg

[R_C]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">it means eff everybody...man chile puss an dawg </div></div>

[SandiF]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

LOL!
Skells you said it just right and to the point.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">it means eff everybody...man chile puss an dawg </div></div>

[Nunya]

Re: Elin Nordegren Returns to College, Plans Trip to China

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: _____</div><div class="ubbcode-body">it means eff everybody...man chile puss an dawg </div></div>

BOAL! aye sah...

I'm trying to send my man away for a minute. Cause I think he's at the point where he wants to tell every damn body to eff off... ~lol~

But when I've mentioned to friends that I'm thinking of buying him a ticket to England for a month, dem ask mi if mi mad...

We've <span style="text-decoration: underline">never</span> been apart for that length of time before. So it'll be interesting. Just thinking about it, makes me miss him already, but I think he needs it. I think he thinks so too, but just don't want to admit it...

But it'll be good getting him out from unda mi foot... good for the both of us...

Now if I can just give away the kid for a minute ...