Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

[H_O]

no body come een yah wid no foolishness..
a serus side a HO ah talk..zeen?
awright...

I been with Lorna 20 years since im 21 .
we met while she was on her lunch break in the line at the bank..
sometimes I wonder how she put up with my crap. but i also tried to do her good. like when i met her she had two kids whom i took on like my own, taught them to swim,ride bikes,took them camping, on trips in the truck. both the kids saw everywhere in North America, met nice people---(this one goes out to you Pepper)----> But if one piece of advice I can give- NEVER EVER GO TO BED MAD. and when you come home from work and u come through the door---positive vibes and a greeting--contd

[kia027]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

waiting fi the rest

[H_O]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

arguments usually happen the first half hour of coming through the door, so leave your day at the door. Nobody evr leaves the house in the morning and says have a crappy day--right?

I dont know, but really--where have family values gone? what happened to for better or worse? But truthfully, im thankful I have a wife and kids to come home to

[kia027]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

what about respect. always be respectful even when u mad

[Skelly]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

open communication and respect...two ppl can do the worst to each other but once they talk openly about their feelings and come to a mutual understanding to treat each other with respect then any obstacle can be overcome...

[R_C]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

Kip yuh fren dem outta yuh bizniz.

[Tulip]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

Well since I'm divorced and broke off an engagement last year, I probably shouldn't even set foot in here. However, my parents have been married for umpteen years so it's not like I have not seen up close and personal what works.

I think one of the most important things to have is commitment. The same way you have some friends that you know are yours to the end is the way it has to be with a good marriage.

I next think true compatibility makes for happiness. Nobody is perfect, and we don't need everybody doing the same things. If you can get with someone who is strong in areas where you're weak and vice versa, then you have a good thing going on.

No one has mentioned love but it's important- not just love in feeling but in action. Try not to take the other person for granted and do things sometimes simply because you know it will make them happy. Unconditional acceptance is part of it too.

<span style="font-style: italic">Now, let me go try to figure out what inspired this thread.</span>

[Tulip]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

Oh and how could I have forgotten - great sex certainly doesn't hurt.

[Peasie]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

I can only speak from my own experience. I shared 28 years - 26 married - with man who was easy-going, no drama, and very secure in himself. Part of this was that he was 11 years older than I am and the other part was just his personality. Because I can't stand disharmony, arguing, and drama we were a good fit. I was a lucky girl.

My advice? <span style="font-weight: bold">Trust your spouse to keep you and the family's interest as their priority</span>. Once you've established that trust, accept that there are things you don't need to know so don't bother with wanting to know everything about your spouse... it's tiresome and it means you are essentially not trusting this person. <span style="font-weight: bold">Give each other plenty of space</span>.

[quodlibet]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Peasie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I can only speak from my own experience. I shared 28 years - 26 married - with man who was easy-going, no drama, and very secure in himself. Part of this was that he was 11 years older than I am and the other part was just his personality. Because I can't stand disharmony, arguing, and drama we were a good fit. I was a lucky girl.

My advice? <span style="font-weight: bold">Trust your spouse to keep you and the family's interest as their priority</span>. Once you've established that trust, accept that there are things you don't need to know so don't bother with wanting to know everything about your spouse... it's tiresome and it means you are essentially not trusting this person. <span style="font-weight: bold">Give each other plenty of space</span>.

</div></div>

[R_C]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Peasie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I can only speak from my own experience. I shared 28 years - 26 married - with man who was easy-going, no drama, and very secure in himself. Part of this was that he was 11 years older than I am and the other part was just his personality. Because I can't stand disharmony, arguing, and drama we were a good fit. I was a lucky girl.

My advice? <span style="font-weight: bold">Trust your spouse to keep you and the family's interest as their priority</span>. Once you've established that trust, accept that there are things you don't need to know so don't bother with wanting to know everything about your spouse... it's tiresome and it means you are essentially not trusting this person. <span style="font-weight: bold">Give each other plenty of space</span>.

</div></div>

Thanks Peasie, that is some serious insight. Everyone keeps a little part of themselves..for themselves. Would that everyone in a relationship understand that this is normal behavior and quite healthy.

[ILP]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Peasie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I can only speak from my own experience. I shared 28 years - 26 married - with man who was easy-going, no drama, and very secure in himself. Part of this was that he was 11 years older than I am and the other part was just his personality. Because I can't stand disharmony, arguing, and drama we were a good fit. I was a lucky girl.

My advice? <span style="font-weight: bold">Trust your spouse to keep you and the family's interest as their priority</span>. Once you've established that trust, accept that there are things you don't need to know so don't bother with wanting to know everything about your spouse... it's tiresome and it means you are essentially not trusting this person. <span style="font-weight: bold">Give each other plenty of space</span>. </div></div>


mi not married, but...

[DearK]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

Such great advice by everyone!! Do the partners have to share interest in activities? Is time together important separate from family (or sex )

[DearK]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Peasie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I can only speak from my own experience. I shared 28 years - 26 married - with man who was easy-going, no drama, and very secure in himself. Part of this was that he was 11 years older than I am and the other part was just his personality. Because I can't stand disharmony, arguing, and drama we were a good fit. I was a lucky girl.

My advice? <span style="font-weight: bold">Trust your spouse to keep you and the family's interest as their priority</span>. Once you've established that trust, accept that there are things you don't need to know so don't bother with wanting to know everything about your spouse... it's tiresome and it means you are essentially not trusting this person. <span style="font-weight: bold">Give each other plenty of space</span>.

</div></div>

Ok I'm going to play devil's advocate on this one If you truly love someone, shouldnt you want to know all there is to know about the person? Shouldnt your spouse know you the most- shouldnt they be the refuge for your darkest, happiest thoughts (the full gamut)?

I read about a wife who learned a lot about her husband's past after he died, and the knowledge led her to doubt the intimacy they had. Yes he loved her, but did he not trust her enough etcetc?

[DearK]

Re: Serious thing...what makes a good marriage?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Rollin_Calf</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> Kip yuh fren dem outta yuh bizniz. </div></div>

What means this? please explain more, maybe some examples too (((RC)))