a fix for black marriage

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: a fix for black marriage

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Skelly</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yes Sue..all wen mi a travel wid dem...dem always haffi awks if a fi mi pickney dem inna immigration...this was di sole reason mi go change my last name few years ago... </div></div>

[Nunya]

Re: a fix for black marriage

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SistaCtry</div><div class="ubbcode-body">what a stress,

den, u have mixed cultures, and dat to me is always a sell out, a just so it go, straight!!!

one a dem gween haffe bow or sell out, but someting haffi gi

</div></div>

Sell out what exactly??? I love me my white man, and I <span style="font-style: italic">know</span> I am more autical dan nuff a oonuu whe <span style="font-style: italic">tink</span> say oonuu a keep it real...

Still love you though

[Tulip]

Re: a fix for black marriage

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Sell out what exactly??? I love me my white man, and I <span style="font-style: italic">know</span> I am more autical dan nuff a oonuu whe
<span style="font-style: italic">tink</span> say oonuu a keep it real...

Still love you though </div></div>

I don't have race or cultural issues. Probably a little bit because I imagine it's almost unavoidable, but nothing I put effort toward having.

I'd be happy just to be happy and don't care about the race.

[Tulip]

Re: a fix for black marriage

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sistacaf</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">What explains this marriage gap?</div></div>

because a high percentage of men (regardless of race or culture) are still controlled by their own primal instincts..... they want a woman who recognizes that the MAN is the sole 'leader', a woman who will always defer to them, without question, and without backchat. (like dem wife is dem child) (don't get me started, LOL)

Many men just aren't interested in a woman who can be equally as successful and powerful as themself; many feel that a strong assertive woman is too &quot;mannish&quot; or &quot;aggressive&quot; -- they cannot understand, or make the distinction, between <span style="font-style: italic">assertive</span> vs. <span style="font-style: italic">aggressive</span>. They are more attracted to, and will therefore choose, a more traditional type of woman to wife - as that 'fits' with their view of what a woman and wife is 'supposed' to be.

thus, the highly educated, strong, successful, powerful women are chosen LESS for marriage -- as the majority of men still prefer, and will choose, the women who prefers to marry and keep the home in the traditional way, over the woman who, say.... is a lawyer, a CEO, or maybe owns her own company...who defers to no one, and expects the same kind of respect at home that she has at work, as a co-leader &amp; partner in the marriage and home.

</div></div>

Sistacaf, I think you may truly be right. There's a whole lot of chat about gold digging, but it appears that the man being financially better off and perhaps smarter is perhaps appealing to them.

Not a thing is wrong with letting the man be the man or the woman be the woman regardless of income or education. Maybe something it s little off balance that only a few can overcome. I use the term &quot;off balance&quot; loosely.

I think the sheer number of single parent Black homes that a lot of people grew up in leads a lot of men to think there is no reason to get married.

[Feenix]

Re: a fix for black marriage

Cant help thinking that its exactly the opposite that the women who have worked and sacrificed to educate themselves don't want to be saddled with any ignorant uneducated clown who thinks the world and his wife owes him a living. The same guy who idles all day and then thinks he can dip into he purse on the way out of the door until he has had enough of whatever and decides to head home and demand his five second of fame.

[sistacaf]

Re: a fix for black marriage

o yes. that too feenix.

[Skelly]

Re: a fix for black marriage

yu know, I don't think it is a sell out as Ctry a seh but she is right. One a dem haffi give up certain aspects of their cultural identity in order to . I was speaking with a former boo from back in college recently and he told me about his former relationship with a white woman. He broke up with her solely because he found himself losing touch with his culture. He said that in his experience, the couple will gravitate towards one culture instead of balancing both and most times it was towards the white partner's culture. He found himself spending more time with her family and friends than his. So he ended it. Mi memba last year mi nephew bring him white girl come a one cookout a mi yard and di poor likkle ting looked so frighten mongst wi being di only white person there..lol. Some are fine with feeling like the odd one out but for others like myself, my white/non Jamaican guy would be among a sea of Jamaicans because mi love mi culture bad bad bad. As Ctry seh:
&quot;someting haffi gi.&quot;<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SistaCtry</div><div class="ubbcode-body">what a stress,

den, u have mixed cultures, and dat to me is always a sell out, a just so it go, straight!!!

one a dem gween haffe bow or sell out, but someting haffi gi

</div></div>

Sell out what exactly??? I love me my white man, and I <span style="font-style: italic">know</span> I am more autical dan nuff a oonuu whe <span style="font-style: italic">tink</span> say oonuu a keep it real...

Still love you though </div></div>

[R_C]

Re: a fix for black marriage

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sistacaf</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...a lawyer, a CEO, or maybe owns her own company...<span style="font-weight: bold">who defers to no one</span>...</div></div>

Marriage is the art of compromise. Nobody is right 100% of the time. A successful marriage requires each partner to defer to the other from time to time otherwise there will be a power struggle 24/7 over big things and small. Who needs that.

CEO's give orders and expect them to be followed without being questioned. Leave that 'CEO' bizniz at work where it belongs. And that goes for both men <span style="font-style: italic">and</span> women.

[Feenix]

Re: a fix for black marriage

I need to ask a question. Are most of the people posting on this thread living in the US.
Please answer this is a very important subject and before we go forward I need an answer from all of you.

[Gen]

Re: a fix for black marriage

/o\

[Gen]

Re: a fix for black marriage

Agreed. It's a lot of work and compromise.

[missus_vegas]

Re: a fix for black marriage

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: R_C</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sistacaf</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...a lawyer, a CEO, or maybe owns her own company...<span style="font-weight: bold">who defers to no one</span>...</div></div>

Marriage is the art of compromise. Nobody is right 100% of the time. A successful marriage requires each partner to defer to the other from time to time otherwise there will be a power struggle 24/7 over big things and small. Who needs that.

CEO's give orders and expect them to be followed without being questioned. Leave that 'CEO' bizniz at work where it belongs. And that goes for both men <span style="font-style: italic">and</span> women. </div></div>

a so mi seh to mr Razz cloth leave yuh RC and yuh BC and yuh acculates at the door

Now let me tell u wats the problem wid black marriages...listen good.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Click to reveal.. <input type="button" class="form-button" value="Show me!" onclick="toggle_spoiler(this, 'Yikes, my eyes!', 'Show me!')" /></div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div style="display: none;">It all started out a long time ago when the white man took us from African to enslave us. the white man breeded off the likkle black girls most time by rape. The rape victim now gives birth to a likkle half breed dawter. in some cases tings were so bad on the farm dat mommy wouldnt out rite tell the girl who har daddy is. Now dis likkle girl know dat she dont look like none of the other likkle slave chirren so she stawt ask.

of course u have one big mout slave pan di plantation now who tell har say di massah rape she momma and breed har

dawter now have a complex. she grow fi fraid a man. as time goes on she find harself having to fite off the likkle slave boys attention. next ting u know one a dem never stop pressure har and pressure so till even doe its not full out rape it wasnt really consensual eidda but it happend and no she breed an she have a dawter.

knowing wat har madda go thru and wat she go thru she raise har dawter to be leery of any ting pan two legs wid a penis.

and as time would have it dis dawter group up now jus around the time wen slavery abolished. she meet a man. fall in love consent to the sex an she breed. life was so wonderful and would u know it she also had a dawter

life was good till one day a white came along and shoot har daddy and left mom and dawter desolate. so mommy find a next man. now dis man molest the dawter and breed har....

and yes she have a dawter....she raise dis dawter to be very very very afraid of man bcus fuss di white massa breed off har great great granny...dem great granny get rape dem white man kill daddy...now step fadda rape she....

so fast fwd now to bout 1950s...one of these descendants of women becomes a single mom who has to work 4 jobs to keep feed her 3 dawters who dem fadda run weh gone leff dem. she raise dem and tell dem fi tek dem book and dont tek up no man bcus the women in our family dont have luck wid men.

the eldest dawter get pregnant at age 16 and had no support from baby daddy. Momma cuss but she still do har best an tek care of the new baby as well

dawter numba two grow up finish high school get a job find a man and get pregnant. she and di man marrid and together but tings not 100% the dream. sister no 3 is aware of all dis and vows to devote herself to her education and her career and IF she find a man worthy then so be it.

she date and date but she cant find the PERFECT man. she cry harself to sleep cus she so pretty and she have it all together and tings a gwane fi har but where is mr PERFECT

a co-worker introduce har to a fren. his is nice and everyting but....he is not PERFECT. and so she continues to date.

THE END!
<span style="font-style: italic">Copy Wrights. All Rights Reversed by DR. Missus_Vegas PHDABCDEFG </span>


</div></div></div>

[Nunya]

Re: a fix for black marriage

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">/o\ </div></div>

[sistactry]

Re: a fix for black marriage

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Still love you though </div></div>

luvvv u too bighead, u dun know....

now pan a real, i believe a &quot;few&quot; culture mixes can make it work, and be dyamm happy in it too,

but its not the norm babes, and u know dis

[Peasie]

Re: a fix for black marriage

Vegas, beg yuh puddung di bakkle a likka

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Vegas</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Click to reveal.. <input type="button" class="form-button" value="Show me!" onclick="toggle_spoiler(this, 'Yikes, my eyes!', 'Show me!')" /></div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div style="display: none;">Now let me tell u wats the problem wid black marriages...listen good.

It all started out a long time ago when the white man took us from African to enslave us. the white man breeded off the likkle black girls most time by rape. The rape victim now gives birth to a likkle half breed dawter. in some cases tings were so bad on the farm dat mommy wouldnt out rite tell the girl who har daddy is. Now dis likkle girl know dat she dont look like none of the other likkle slave chirren so she stawt ask.

of course u have one big mout slave pan di plantation now who tell har say di massah rape she momma and breed har

dawter now have a complex. she grow fi fraid a man. as time goes on she find harself having to fite off the likkle slave boys attention. next ting u know one a dem never stop pressure har and pressure so till even doe its not full out rape it wasnt really consensual eidda but it happend and no she breed an she have a dawter.

knowing wat har madda go thru and wat she go thru she raise har dawter to be leery of any ting pan two legs wid a penis.

and as time would have it dis dawter group up now jus around the time wen slavery abolished. she meet a man. fall in love consent to the sex an she breed. life was so wonderful and would u know it she also had a dawter

life was good till one day a white came along and shoot har daddy and left mom and dawter desolate. so mommy find a next man. now dis man molest the dawter and breed har....

and yes she have a dawter....she raise dis dawter to be very very very afraid of man bcus fuss di white massa breed off har great great granny...dem great granny get rape dem white man kill daddy...now step fadda rape she....

so fast fwd now to bout 1950s...one of these descendants of women becomes a single mom who has to work 4 jobs to keep feed her 3 dawters who dem fadda run weh gone leff dem. she raise dem and tell dem fi tek dem book and dont tek up no man bcus the women in our family dont have luck wid men.

the eldest dawter get pregnant at age 16 and had no support from baby daddy. Momma cuss but she still do har best an tek care of the new baby as well

dawter numba two grow up finish high school get a job find a man and get pregnant. she and di man marrid and together but tings not 100% the dream. sister no 3 is aware of all dis and vows to devote herself to her education and her career and IF she find a man worthy then so be it.

she date and date but she cant find the PERFECT man. she cry harself to sleep cus she so pretty and she have it all together and tings a gwane fi har but where is mr PERFECT

a co-worker introduce har to a fren. his is nice and everyting but....he is not PERFECT. and so she continues to date.

THE END!
<span style="font-style: italic">Copy Wrights. All Rights Reversed by DR. Missus_Vegas PHDABCDEFG </span> </div></div></div></div></div>