how do u guys deal with it

[missus_vegas]

ppl a yard who ask u for money.

i know i am OBLIGATED to give to my grandma neting she wants and if my nieces or even my bros as for something that is totally diff. for one, they only ask if dem strapped cus dem still treat me like the little sister.

my guilt issue is with friends. i have a few guy friends dat i grew up with who i keep in contact with pan a regular. moslty a dem call me cus digicel seem to always a gi weh free credit. every so often wen tings bad really bad wid dem they will ask for help. to be honest none of dem tek advantage. its not a regular habit and if i have it they are greatful if i dont dem good wid mi same way.

but i always feel bad the times that i do say no. especially if i "have" it but i really dont "HAVE" it mi know dat nah go mek sense so mek mi explain....like ok mi mite physically have the money but if i send it i would eihter be taking it from my savings or i would be giving it and leaving my spending dry (does not include bills or food money) just the money fi keep mi pocket warm incase mi want one ice cream cone....but u get the point.

i keep feeling bad cus i know dat if it was one of my immediate family den beg steal or borrow mi woulda find the money....i guess dats why i feel guilty bcus i know dat if i made the sacrifice (do without myself) den i could afford to help but i dont want to sacrifice myself if i had extra no problem.

Tell m di choot...oonuh tink a mean me mean? some friend i am

[Pepper]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

If me have it, fine. Oddawise me just mek dem know plain out dat me nuh have no money right yah now.

[CyberPhobic]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

Don't mekk "feeling guilty" drive yuh tuh enabling and encouraging the BEGGING CULTURE that is rampant inna JA.

Wat mi come tuh realize is dat mosye a dem whe a beg nuh NEED dem juss WANT and feel sey chroo yuh dey a farrin, yuh OBLIGAYTID tuh give dem wen dem beg.

Some a dem have advanced DEGREES in begging and pouring on di guilt is what dem majored in. Dem even dash whe alla di shame whe use tuh come widd dat, to baxcova.

Moyse a dem nuh biznizz where yuh nexx meal, coat or bus fare aguh come from, dem juss want wha dem want.

GREED and not NEED a funnel dat frenzy and mi encourage everybady whe mi meet, not to feed dat beast!

A juss suh *I* feel.

[Cultcha]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

My family down there is living better than I. If anything they should be sending money up here to me.

[CyberPhobic]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kotch_Foot_Milo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My family down there is living better than I. <span style="font-weight: bold">If anything they should be sending money up here to me.</span> </div></div>

Yuh nuh??? A dat mi sey tuh. My cousin dung dey a beg none stop and wen mi si him pon fayce book a big chruck him a drive and a wear Gucci and LV slippaz wid belt fi match. &gt;...and dem nuh fake eida.

Mekk dem gwaan. Ennybady whe tekk up dem money senn guh give ABLE-BODIED, big hawse steering man, deserve fi get what di DUCK gets. DWL

[Marielle]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

I know where you are coming from, cos I've been there, done that.

And then you start to wonder if your &quot;friends&quot; like you for you, or for your financial bailing-out.....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CyberPhobic</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Don't mekk &quot;feeling guilty&quot; drive yuh tuh enabling and encouraging the BEGGING CULTURE .</div></div>

Well said. I agree.

You are not responsible for everybody else's money problems. And especially when it sounds like it makes a problem for you when you do.
If you had 10 million in the bank, yes, then you can share it around...

Reminds me of a quote by Louise Hay (You Can Heal Your Life):

&quot;I am not responsible for others. We are all under the law of our own consciousness&quot;.

Good luck with finding your assertiveness in this matter. It's empowering to speak the simple words and say &quot;No, sorry, cannot do&quot;.....
Also empowering for them in finding their own solutions and not run to &quot;mummy&quot; at the first sign of trouble.....

[Skelly]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

yu nat obligated to anyone but yuself or yu pickney

[sistactry]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

no baby, i really dont think you're mean, like u said, if u had extra u would,

i dont feel bad, and let me tell u, ppl a ja, we ask, and like my mother say, ask, u never know, dem might say yes, and a just so most jcans stay, what i am trying to say is, dem 9 outta 10 times expect u fe say no, but dat 1% if u say yes, raaaa

now a days to, dem know and hear say tings bad wid ppl,

some ppl caan even afford fe go supermarket like one time,

a serious ting, so no feel bad

[sistactry]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Pepper</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If me have it, fine. Oddawise me just mek dem know plain out dat me nuh have no money right yah now. </div></div>

exactly, tings bad right now, tings real bad,

(a my song dat)

[sistactry]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Skelly</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yu nat obligated to anyone but yuself or yu pickney </div></div>

exactly, not even ur bredda and sister dem, no bra

[Wendy]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CyberPhobic</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">Don't mekk &quot;feeling guilty&quot; drive yuh tuh enabling and encouraging the BEGGING CULTURE that is rampant inna JA. </span>

Wat mi come tuh realize is dat mosye a dem whe a beg nuh NEED dem juss WANT and feel sey chroo yuh dey a farrin, yuh OBLIGAYTID tuh give dem wen dem beg.

Some a dem have advanced DEGREES in begging and pouring on di guilt is what dem majored in. Dem even dash whe alla di shame whe use tuh come widd dat, to baxcova.

Moyse a dem nuh biznizz where yuh nexx meal, coat or bus fare aguh come from, dem juss want wha dem want.

GREED and not NEED a funnel dat frenzy and mi encourage everybady whe mi meet, not to feed dat beast!

A juss suh *I* feel. </div></div>


AMEN to dat

I had some professional beggers in mi life and mi put a stop to dat years ago. I visited JA one year and I kid you not, I went home that year armed with all my bills and spread dem out in front a di beggers dem and tell dem seh because of these bills mi tink I should be the one calling dem fi help a mont time since moas a dem noh have wan earlty bill a pay inna JA. A live life free as a bird

Aldowe mi know seh dem noh have noh money fi gi mi ..I did call an beg fi money : &quot;Patsy, di Cable bill due an mi short $100 US. Yuh can help mi out?&quot;

I did that so often that dem neva fine it amusing afta a while. Mi cudden tell when laas any a dem call mi. Nat even fi seh hello

[Suesumba]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kotch_Foot_Milo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My family down there is living better than I. If anything they should be sending money up here to me. </div></div>

and never mind the stress you have to put up with. people dem tink seh yu noh haffi pay fi place fi live, light fi stay on, fee fi dis dat and odda, and if yu money run out yu can't over mass bertie lann goh pick awff two a him mango and dig some wile yam.

[missus_vegas]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

ok he asked me for the money i tink thursday or friday. i replied on fb saying i cant help. i ignored the calls satdeh sunday and monday. last nite i got this msg...and mi kinda sense a bit of attitude in the tone....maybe is me reading into it still. i guess i should have just woman up and answer the phone and tell him mi no have no money instead of ignoring the million calls. then next time i talk to him mi aggi go mek up some BS story bout how mi phone did have issue or somthing

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">thats ok dear the heart is willing nd god worked out a way i managed to reach work nd i did not die of hunger.i hope u r fine though nd ur baby nd hussy</div></div>

[missus_vegas]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kotch_Foot_Milo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My family down there is living better than I. If anything they should be sending money up here to me. </div></div>

and never mind the stress you have to put up with. people dem tink seh yu noh haffi pay fi place fi live, light fi stay on, fee fi dis dat and odda, and if yu money run out yu can't over mass bertie lann goh pick awff two a him mango and dig some wile yam. </div></div>

i know when i tell them how much money i pay for rent per month....how much my daycare cost will be....dem scratch dem head. until dem travel doe an see for demself how hawd farrin is dem will never understand.

i dont know my neigbor name much less fi go beg dem likkle suga fi mek tea gimme mi baby.

[Peasie]

Re: how do u guys deal with it

What is Mr. Vegas' opinion on this matter? Just curious.