How would you feel if a man were to....

[RichD]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tulip</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
It could be gold digging in some cases where the woman is looking for a handout, but I don't think that's always what it means. I often hear people say two can live as cheaply as one. That is not true.

If a woman is accustomed to a certain lifestyle that's she is maintaining herself, and a man comes in with a less costly lifestyle, it's not equal. Something has to be balanced and everyone is not willing to move down. </div></div>

not sure what you mean ..give me an example of some of the thing that the woman wight have been able to afford and might no longer be able to afford?

[Peasie]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tulip</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If a woman is accustomed to a certain lifestyle that's she is maintaining herself, and a man comes in with a less costly lifestyle, it's not equal. </div></div>

But why does having the man come into her life make her change her costly lifestyle? Can't she continue doing what she is doing on her own dime? Or is she expecting the man to take over her expenses of maintaining her lifestyle?

[RichD]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Peasie</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tulip</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If a woman is accustomed to a certain lifestyle that's she is maintaining herself, and a man comes in with a less costly lifestyle, it's not equal. </div></div>

But why does having the man come into her life make her change her costly lifestyle? Can't she continue doing what she is doing on her own dime? Or is she expecting the man to take over her expenses of maintaining her lifestyle?
</div></div> you said it some much more elegantly

[Tulip]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: R_C</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tulip</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Also, although many men won't admit it, a lot of them want to be the major breadwinner.</div></div>

Won't admit it ???? A lot of women <span style="font-weight: bold">want them to be</span> too no ? Isn't that what &quot;affording me&quot; could mean ? Or am I wrong ? Still trying to figure out that phrase. </div></div>

Yes a lot of women want their man to make more money as well and don't admit it which is why I said there can be resentment on one or both sides.

I'm saying that &quot;affording me&quot; does not necessarily mean the woman is looking to be taken care of. In some cases it means that she wants a man who is as financially capable of taking care of himself as she is of taking care of herself.

[RichD]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tulip</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
I'm saying that &quot;affording me&quot; does not necessarily mean the woman is looking to be taken care of. In some cases it means that she wants a man who is as financially capable of taking care of himself as she is of taking care of herself.

</div></div>

[Tulip]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: RichD</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Peasie</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tulip</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If a woman is accustomed to a certain lifestyle that's she is maintaining herself, and a man comes in with a less costly lifestyle, it's not equal. </div></div>

But why does having the man come into her life make her change her costly lifestyle? Can't she continue doing what she is doing on her own dime? Or is she expecting the man to take over her expenses of maintaining her lifestyle?
</div></div> you said it some much more elegantly </div></div>

It's not that I do not get what you're both saying. First of all, you will never hear the words come out my mouth that &quot;he can't afford me&quot;, but I do understand it to mean more than the man has to pay for everything now.

As an example of something that might change, you're going on a little trip together. He's thinking Motel 6 and you're strongly thinking NOT. Eventually, the woman is going to get called snobbish or high maintenance if not for this, but a thousand other things where they have differences in expectations .

Going on one date surely should not make you break out a yoke, but if you get into a serious relationship or marriage, whatever you have becomes combined for the both of you. Essentially, whoever has more (financially at any rate) will have less to spend as they used to.

Haven't any of you ever had a roommate in college or something who could scarcely come up with their half of the bill money? It is going to affect how much much you spend if you don't want to sit in the dark.

[Wendy]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Peasie</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tulip</div><div class="ubbcode-body">If a woman is accustomed to a certain lifestyle that's she is maintaining herself, and a man comes in with a less costly lifestyle, it's not equal. </div></div>

But why does having the man come into her life make her change her costly lifestyle? Can't she continue doing what she is doing on her own dime? Or is she expecting the man to take over her expenses of maintaining her lifestyle?
</div></div>

I would think the man coming in her life would make things &quot;lighter on her&quot;



If mi mek $60 an im mek $20...dat is $20 more dalla dat can add to di budget. No soh?

ETA: But really I agree it all boils down to how secure you are (male and female)

[Peasie]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: WeNdY_PeNdY</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
If mi mek $60 an im mek $20...dat is $20 more dalla dat can add to di budget. No soh? </div></div>



60+20=80. If they split that equally, then each gets $40. An then war bruk out!

[Wendy]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

DWL Dats why it betta im use coupon fi mek up fi di deficit

waaiaiaiaiai ..

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Click to reveal.. <input type="button" class="form-button" value="Show me!" onclick="toggle_spoiler(this, 'Yikes, my eyes!', 'Show me!')" /></div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div style="display: none;">Anyway who said anything about splitting revenues down di miggle </div></div></div>

[Wendy]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: R_C</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Lawd oonuh rough sah.

</div></div>

R_C soh tell us what happened when yuh buss out di coupon in front a yuh woman

1. Was there a brawl?
2. Did shi fling har dinks pan yuh?
3. Did you leave the restaurant wid all yuh teet intact.

[R_C]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: WeNdY_PeNdY</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: R_C</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Lawd oonuh rough sah.

</div></div>

R_C soh tell us what happened when yuh buss out di coupon in front a yuh woman.</div></div>

No mi dear, mi neva goh caw shi was &quot;out of my price range&quot;. So mi put har pon lay away..

<span style="font-size: 8pt">....maybe there will be an after christmas sale though...</span>

[Skelly]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tulip</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
While every woman is not looking for a man to take care of her, most do want him to <span style="font-size: 17pt">at least </span>have equal financial resources.
</div></div>


Praise Tulip!

[Tulip]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: WeNdY_PeNdY</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I would think the man coming in her life would make things &quot;lighter on her&quot;

<span style="font-weight: bold">If mi mek $60 an im mek $20...dat is $20 more dalla dat can add to di budget. No soh?</span>

ETA: But really I agree it all boils down to how secure you are (male and female) </div></div>

No, it is not so because more than $20 in additional expenses is going to be coming out of the budget unless $60 makes some lifestyle changes.

[Tulip]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Peasie</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

60+20=80. If they split that equally, then each gets $40. An then war bruk out! </div></div>

And there it is lol!

It is not realistic to think that things are going to be 50/50 not even most of the time, but you do need some semblance of believing what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine.

This reminds me of the first shoe shopping trip the ex-hubby and I went on together. We knew how much we were able to spend, and the plan was for both of us to find a shoe in the same price range. We had been strong on the 50/50 thing for those first few months.

We picked out our shoes and headed towards the register. Something came over me (perhaps a hefty wash of selfishness), and I said hold up, we need to have a sidebar. I'm going back to get this other pair, and now the amount you can spend is going to be less than half. Let me help you find a different pair in your new lower price range.

It didn't turn into a scene, but somebody has to compromise often. It's hard enough when you're both contributing the same amount. It must be even harder when you have to spend less than you're accustomed to.

[Tulip]

Re: How would you feel if a man were to....

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Skelly</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Tulip</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
While every woman is not looking for a man to take care of her, most do want him to <span style="font-size: 17pt">at least </span>have equal financial resources.
</div></div>

Praise Tulip! </div></div>

Thank you Skelly! I know I have my off days lol but am I not communicating effectively today? I don't get what's hard to understand about what I'm saying.