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FOR reasons as countless as the stars in the sky, many women ignore the signs that their men are all wrong for them, even when the signs are as obvious as neon lights. Because when they're looking for love, especially when the love comes as a second, or maybe 30th chance at happiness, good sense often flies out the door as the love bug nests.
In order to avoid pitfalls in love, divorce lawyer, transformational coach and motivational speaker Courtney Kazembe said women should seek to empower themselves first, "so they have all the resources they need to make them happy".
In fact, he said 90 per cent of misery that people endure is because they are married. And they could have avoided the misery if they'd paid attention to the signs below.
1. His level of dependency. Does he have a preoccupation with taking and spending your money without conscience, not seeking to get a job but is instead quite comfortable sitting at home or hanging with his friends while you go off to work? What makes future divorce even more certain is if while at home all day he still expects you to come home to cook, clean the house, take care of the kids then be a tigress in bed at nights.
2. He's easily angered. A man who gets angry too often and too easily is a man whose behaviour tells you that he has no self-control and is prone to becoming abusive. Down the road he could see using you as his beating board and his only option to release this anger. Getting angry on the second date does not mean he is comfortable expressing himself around you, it means he should be avoided!
3. He puts you down. So you have known him for two weeks and he has decided to take you on your first date. You go out of your way to get all dolled up for him, only to have him ask why you did your hair that way. Then he goes on and on about not liking women with weaves, even though it is obvious you are wearing one. Nowhere in the mix of things does he give you a compliment. If you should marry, he will always put you down and damage your self-esteem in the process.
4. He shuns responsibility. Even months after deciding to go steady, he's never once asked how your bills get paid, offered to foot the bill for the grocery -- though he eats at your place every night -- and never once offered to put gas in your vehicle despite him not owing a car and you having to take him to and from work every day. In fact, even after JPS disconnected your electricity for late payment, his only question two days later was, "You still don't pay the bill yet?" This is a man who does not have your best interests at heart and who is only concerned about himself and 'living off' you. All responsibilities of running the household will be on your shoulders.
5. He sets boundaries for you. It's been three months into the relationship, yet he screens your calls, rushes to answer your cellphone, tells you he does not like your friends and that he would rather that you did not spend time with them. He even tells you what to wear and gets upset when you go against his wishes. If you marry him this would be a relationship in which you are seen as his property and will be forced to live in bondage.
Read more: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines...3#ixzz1Ynvp5xT2
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