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You have been with the same guy for almost six years and he has never mentioned getting married or even getting engaged does this mean he thinks i am not the one?
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Re: marriage
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ETA: 6 years is more than enough time to figure out if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. Don't tell me you have kids for him too? -
Re: marriage
six years [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek.gif[/img]
and the lubavitcher jews can mek a lifetime decision in 8 dates.
Yes six years is too long.. Do you live together, have children together?If you don't fight for what you deserve, you deserve what you get.
We are > Fossil Fuels --- Bill McKibben 350.orgComment
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Re: marriage
I read somewhere that the new benchmark for a successful marriage is 5 years.
Meaning that if your marriage last for more than 5 years and then ends it can still be classified as a successful marriage by todays standards. Your relationship has outlasted most successful marriages.
Six years and still no marriage means he is comfortable with you but not going to commit to you because deep down he thinks you are NOT the one.
With that said, some folks, including myself are beginning to wonder if there is really such a thing as "the one". Perhaps it just a matter of finding someone that is least offensive to you and you hope to hell you can put up with this person for the next 40, 50 or 60 years or how ever long you both shall live.
Good luck with your relationship. I would either resign yourself to the fact that you are either going to continue to be his lifelong "friend" or cut bait and run. If the first option is not appealing then you need to talk and tell him to poop or get off the pot.
Then again what do I know? I suck at relationships! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img]
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Re: marriage
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: baby</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You have been with the same guy for almost six years and he has never mentioned getting married or even getting engaged does this mean he thinks i am not the one? </div></div>
I had a girlfriend once who had all men on the 6 month plan. If they had not made some progress in that amount of time they were HISTORY.Comment
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Re: marriage
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: baby</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You have been with the same guy for almost six years and he has never mentioned getting married or even getting engaged does this mean he thinks i am not the one? </div></div>
i assume that by this post that you want to get married. the only way to find out what you want to know is to ask him for yourself. you cant hold someone (especially in a relationship) to something, if you havent communicated "that something" to them out right.
I am not married, but I do "shack up" with someone, but nothing happend until we talked about it. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]Comment
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Re: marriage
ILP I am all for shacking up before marriage. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] That way you know what you gonna get before you sign papers. I don't think I would be married still if I didn't live with him prior to doing so. I don't think people should shack up though if they don't intend to get married.Comment
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Re: marriage
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Es_Skellion</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ILP I am all for shacking up before marriage. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] That way you know what you gonna get before you sign papers. I don't think I would be married still if I didn't live with him prior to doing so. I don't think people should shack up though if they don't intend to get married. </div></div>
but how is one supposed to shack up for? i mean 2-3 yrs maybe is good but ...Comment
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Re: marriage
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Es_Skellion</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ILP I am all for shacking up before marriage. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] That way you know what you gonna get before you sign papers. I don't think I would be married still if I didn't live with him prior to doing so. I don't think people should shack up though if they don't intend to get married. </div></div>
uh oh...
gawn go log off ah di computer before di current mr. ilp see dis.... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img]Comment
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Re: marriage
To me shacking up is like a bridge between just being together and getting married. People who just shack up do it because
- One party overstayed and one day they realize they living together.
- They choose to do a roommate thing...split expenses.
- Convenience of having someone there.
What happens when you realize that it is not working out? Alot of women tend to suffer because they are not independent enough to live on their own so they end up having kids and sometimes are abused and cheated on by men who don't intend to wife them.
I dated for 1 year, got engaged, lived together for 2, then got married after that. Best decision I ever made. Next month makes 5 years. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70371-jump.gif[/img]Comment
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Re: marriage
Shacking up b4 marriage does not guarantee nutten. A nuf man me know that changed <u>only after </u>dem get married.
What is with this need to get married anyhow? Why can't two people just live together happily ever after. If marriage was suppose to be all <span style='font-size: 17pt'>that</span> then there wouldn't be such a high divorce rate.
There is no <span style='font-family: Arial Black'>The One.</span> We just keep lying to ourselves to keep the myth and stupid Cinderella fantasy going. Who will be the first to quit the lies?
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Re: marriage
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Es_Skellion</div><div class="ubbcode-body">To me shacking up is like a bridge between just being together and getting married. People who just shack up do it because
- One party overstayed and one day they realize they living together.
- They choose to do a roommate thing...split expenses.
- Convenience of having someone there.
What happens when you realize that it is not working out? Alot of women tend to suffer because they are not independent enough to live on their own so they end up having kids and sometimes are abused and cheated on by men who don't intend to wife them.
I dated for 1 year, got engaged, lived together for 2, then got married after that. Best decision I ever made. Next month makes 5 years. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70371-jump.gif[/img] </div></div>
mi naw knock your decisions Skelly.
di current mr. ilp and i have been dating for 3 years. recently (OK, last January 06) we decided that for us we wanted to make a commitment to each other. For us that commitment wasnt about getting "the papers", it was about each other. We bought a house togther. We share money, expenses, medical, insurance, etc. we just havent gotten the paper. But that is what we BOTH want. Will it change in the future? Who knows. I LOVE what I have, it works for me right now. both di current mr. ilp and i are very independant people. we both came to this relationship as whole people. is what we have convienient, sure it is. I would think being married would be the same way. I love having him here (well most of the time). But trust...we are like married people in all the ways that matter to us...right now.
I am not interested in kids right now (he knows that, neither is he). We are just content right now with what we have. I think that we are just as committed as "married people", we just havent gotten the paper. Right now, that is OK for us.
5 years, eei? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bannana_purple.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70458-applaud.gif[/img]
ETA: What happens when it is no longer working out? Then I guess that we will do what married people do...we will leave the relationship and live our lives seperately?Comment
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Re: marriage
<span style='font-family: Arial Black'> <span style="color: #FF6666"> He might not want to rush in to things or he probley to him it doesn't matter as long as you have each other.
Probley doesn't know you that much as yet, right know you are expecting him to read your mind. You are waiting for him to at lease mension it once.
I bet he doesn't even know you felt that way.
The fruit is not yet rip and both of you are not been open about important issue.
I guest someone of to start showing some signal towards whats the real deal is.
Guest you need to start question him about how does he see us in the next five years, since you and him already been to together for six years.
You looking for some kind of feedback to see how things set between you and in for the future.
You got to jump on that right now without wasting any more of your valuable time.</span> </span>Comment
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Re: marriage
<span style='font-family: Arial Black'> <span style="color: #CC6600">No </span> </span>Comment
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Re: marriage
It seems to me that he is of the mindset of "Why buy the cow when I'm getting the milk for free" If marriage is/was on your mind, six years ago was time to speak up.Now he's getting all the benefits and convience of a wife without the commitment.I did the shacking up thing but only because there was a promise of marriage but it didn't happen I had to move on. Ultimately, YOU have to do whats best for Y-O-U. If you want something you have to ask for it. A closed mouth doesn't get fed (or in your case )wedComment
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