Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

[Wendy]

Do you know anyone that is EXTREMELY anti-divorce to the point where they chose to live in misery instead of entertaining the "D" word.

I cannot understand it for the love of me. I have a family member who bun fiyah pan divorce, feel seh dat if dem divorce...dem ago condemn to Hell cause Gad noh like it but willing to live separate lives unda di same roof fi umpteen years, have no intimacy, war , war every minute...

Is this the life God really want people to live dat im would sen yuh dung to Satan if yuh ended an abusive, misrable marriage? What is that about?

[Gen]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

Yes. The ones I know are church people who siddung deh listen to dem pastor

[Wendy]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

Same situation here Gen ..Jehovahs witness

I am trying to understand the logic ... to divorce is ungodly but to cuss an carry on an call yuh spouse all sorta name and live in misery is Godly???

[Tulip]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

I have an Irish Catholic co-worker who sometimes I really have to wonder how nobody caught a case yet. The way he talks to his wife on the phone sometimes I know I'd have to drive over there and have him step outside for a minute.

They remind of a line Matt Damon said to his girl friend in The Departed: If we're not gonna make it, then it's gotta be you who gets out cause I'm not capable. I'm Irish Catholic. I'll deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life.

[ILP]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

yeah...the ones weh mi know love quote scripture. but them draw blank when them a cuss ahn a war

[jah_yout]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

or is war inevitable when you live in close proximity with someone under stressful conditions? (one--<span style="font-style: italic">of many</span>--- reason unions can go sour)

[WitchyOoman]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

I can speak about the Catholic viewpoint.

There are several issues at hand: the separation, a civil divorce, annulment, and potential marriage.

The Church acknowledges that there are some circumstances which make a separation of a husband and a wife sensible... even preferable.
The Church also acknowledges that there are some circumstances which make a permanent separation of a husband and a wife appropriate.
But unless a Tribunal finds said marriage null and void (an annulment) for some reason or other, such persons cannot remarry, even though they may have licitly gotten a civil divorce (a permanent separation).

Too many people - including poorly catechized 'cradle Catholics' (those born and raised as Catholic) - misunderstand a lot of this.

[Wendy]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jah_yout</div><div class="ubbcode-body">or is war inevitable when you live in close proximity with someone under stressful conditions? (one--<span style="font-style: italic">of many</span>--- reason unions can go sour) </div></div>

Jay_yout baby, disputes and spats are inevitable...people are diff and will always have disagreements but not to point of hatred and disdain for the other in most cases.

The <span style="font-style: italic">war</span> I speak of is Iraq war zone type...firing off demeaning words to belittle the other.. physical assaults.. pot, pan and dish washer flinging. That kind of misery

Somehow dat is what dem chose over divorcing and going their separate ways because &quot;the bible sey&quot;

[Wendy]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: WitchyOoman</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I can speak about the Catholic viewpoint.

There are several issues at hand: the separation, a civil divorce, annulment, and potential marriage.

The Church acknowledges that there are some circumstances which make a separation of a husband and a wife sensible... even preferable.
The Church also acknowledges that there are some circumstances which make a permanent separation of a husband and a wife appropriate.
But unless a Tribunal finds said marriage null and void (an annulment) for some reason or other, such persons cannot remarry, even though they may have licitly gotten a civil divorce (a permanent separation).

Too many people - including poorly catechized 'cradle Catholics' (those born and raised as Catholic) - misunderstand a lot of this. </div></div>

I am a believer but not entirely religious .. the problem I have is grown folks letting church people (i.e Pastors, Priest, Deacons etc) running dem life. An goh si what inna fi dem closet but dem waan tell yuh what is &quot;appropriate&quot; and what is not!!

Church folks will tell yuh living unda a roof wid a man/woman without marriage is a condemnation. There are so many relationships that exist like that that are far more loving and respectable than those who have legal paper. If you follow those who quote scripture, if you are unmarried and in a happy relationship, God will not approve regardless. But if hell a pap unda yuh roof but yuh legally married, dat ahrite by di Almighty Is what goh soh?

[twiney]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

I'm anti-divorce but I am not anti-separation ... I wont be the one to initiate the divorce but if the other party wants it I don't believe in holding on to something/someone that does not want to be with me. And maybe if I ever had intention to marry again I would probably consider divorce but since I only agree to give the marriage thing one shot if this done separation it is. And no I don't sanction misery (way before it get to the war and hatred unno talking bout)

[twiney]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: WeNdY_PeNdY</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: WitchyOoman</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I can speak about the Catholic viewpoint.

There are several issues at hand: the separation, a civil divorce, annulment, and potential marriage.

The Church acknowledges that there are some circumstances which make a separation of a husband and a wife sensible... even preferable.
The Church also acknowledges that there are some circumstances which make a permanent separation of a husband and a wife appropriate.
But unless a Tribunal finds said marriage null and void (an annulment) for some reason or other, such persons cannot remarry, even though they may have licitly gotten a civil divorce (a permanent separation).

Too many people - including poorly catechized 'cradle Catholics' (those born and raised as Catholic) - misunderstand a lot of this. </div></div>

I am a believer but not entirely religious .. the problem I have is grown folks letting church people (i.e Pastors, Priest, Deacons etc) running dem life. An goh si what inna fi dem closet but dem waan tell yuh what is &quot;appropriate&quot; and what is not!!

Church folks will tell yuh living unda a roof wid a man/woman without marriage is a condemnation. There are so many relationships that exist like that that are far more loving and respectable than those who have legal paper. If you follow those who quote scripture, if you are unmarried and in a happy relationship, God will not approve regardless. But if hell a pap unda yuh roof but yuh legally married, dat ahrite by di Almighty Is what goh soh?
</div></div>

Mi very religious but I don't believe is every marriage God join and I dont think that everybody need to piece of paper to make it a marriage (that is for the government) but then I personally have a different definition of marriage

[Wendy]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

I think for the most part ... people marry thinking this is a &quot;One shot deal&quot; (Well...with the exception of Kim Kardashian ) .. In that respect you are not thinking of being a divorcee..

But things do change for the worst for some people and I am not sure why it is better to be in so much pain and misery than to move on. That rigid stance against your own happiness is mind boggling to me

[twiney]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

That's why I said out is an option even if you don't want to divorce ... separation works too and you dont need the other party's consent to separate pack and leave with no forwarding address if necessary.

[jah_yout]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: WeNdY_PeNdY</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jah_yout</div><div class="ubbcode-body">or is war inevitable when you live in close proximity with someone under stressful conditions? (one--<span style="font-style: italic">of many</span>--- reason unions can go sour) </div></div>

Jay_yout baby, disputes and spats are inevitable...people are diff and will always have disagreements but not to point of hatred and disdain for the other in most cases.

The <span style="font-style: italic">war</span> I speak of is Iraq war zone type...firing off demeaning words to belittle the other.. physical assaults.. pot, pan and dish washer flinging. That kind of misery

Somehow dat is what dem chose over divorcing and going their separate ways because &quot;the bible sey&quot; </div></div>


true...
madness dat

[ILP]

Re: Anti-Divorce but Pro Misery

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Twiney</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Mi very religious but I don't believe is every marriage God join and <span style="font-weight: bold">I dont think that everybody need to piece of paper to make it a marriage</span> (that is for the government) but then I personally have a different definition of marriage </div></div>