He just left

[CindyB]

It's been about 8 years that my kids father and I met. We live togehter for 6 years. It was not a happy relationship but had 2 kids. He was not there for me on many levels and was cruel but was never physically abusive. I planned on moving out with the kids becasue of the environment was so toxic for them. I found a place and everything but days before we leaving he manged to pursuade me to keep the family together for the sake of the kids. The kids addored him becasue he let them do whatever they want ..I was the one who said no..not him. I was hoping that things would change at our new home but nothing did. I grew very mad at the situation and constantly argued with him. Then one day he left for work and never came back or called. I did not try to contact him becasue I felt relieved. But what I was not prepared for was my children constantly asking for/about him. No matter what went on between us he always mangaged to be very gentle and sweet to them...so they dont understand. My 6 year says mommy was mean to daddy and so left and will never come back. Then another time she says when daddy comes back we will do this or that...constanly talking with the expectaion that he is coming back. Hearing this breaks my heat. I do not know if I should tell them the truth that daddy is not coming back. He never came back for his clothes furniture or nothing...I never called him either. .I feel so empty not to mention money is beyond tight He was contributing to the household financially and now that money is no longer there to helop with the bills. Filing for child support wiIl be tricking because he makes cash I do not know what I am going to do becasue the bills are piling up

[kia027]

Re: He just left

sorry to hear you are going through all of that but on a logical note, have you confirmed that he is ok at least?

It sounds from your previous post in parenting and here, the whole family is stressed. If your partner loved the kids as much as you says he did, then he would make contact.

In the meantime does your employer have a program where you can find resources to help you during this time?

What country/ state/province are you in we may be able to locate resources for you for emotional/financial support in the meantime

[KleenBaggy]

Re: He just left

Sorry to hear about your situation. Here is a

It will not be easy but try your best to move forward by first explaining to yours kids in the best way you can, the truth. Kids tend to believe the truth, so just be honest with them. Let them know that neither of you are at fault, but he chose to move but will be back to visit (assuming he is not dead ).

Have you thought of downsizing to save money? Smaller apt or cutting back on non-essentials?

Also, why not try and get public assistance before too late? The father is entitled to pay child support so file and let the government figure out how to get him to pay. That is HIS responsibility.

All the best for a New Year and a new start to your future.

[Suesumba]

Re: He just left

are there any social agencies that could help you out financially till the dust settles? i don't know how you would go about explaining the situation to the kids tho. i just hope everything turns out fine.

[Skelly]

Re: He just left

where are you located? please drop me a pm if u feel more comfortable talking behind the scenes.

[DearK]

Re: He just left

Has he been to his job? Seems odd that he left everything and hasn't returned, called, set up visitation

As much as it may seem like a relief, a cell phone call might solve the mystery, and start the process of planning for your new lives. Would also help you know what to tell the children.
Please let us know how things work out.

[Suesumba]

Re: He just left

have you reported him to the police as a "missing person"?

[Pepper]

Re: He just left

Hush yah Cindy.

You may want to check with a social service agency to see about getting help with the kids and bills. Also, they may be able to give you some insight on how to break the news to the children. You have to tell them something, and the sooner the better.

BTW, are you certain he left and isn't hurt somewhere?