Your First...

[Magician]

Re: Your First...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Zarah</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I also thought (again, based on conversations here) that it is only possible to love one person at a time. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img]
</div></div>

A who said you 'love' you ex. Nuh man, a nuh love dat.
It's lust, and it's the same thing that got you attracted to her in the first place.

We just learn to justify away that feeling later, and in some cases it goes away on it's own. The latter cases you're safe to meet later on. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

[julie*mango]

Re: Your First...

Zarah...*sigh*

It's not a matter of wanting to have sex with someone else. It's just that some of us tend to have high sex drives...that's why it's real easy to be in the wrong place at the wrong time because someone can take advantage of that...so it's best to steer clear of certain situations as Magic said.

As to the matter of loving only one person...the heart is complicated. It never forgets. It would be irresponsible and naive to deny that you and only you are the sole object of their affection if they've been in love before. I know I was not the first love in my husband's life but that was just circumstances we could not do anything about. I choose to work on the here and now....that being said I enjoy my relationship and will do whatever it takes to make it work...so to avoid the jealousy that may spurt from communicating with my ex I will keep it at the level where it is now just to keep the peace.

Regardless of the fact that I may have a "soft spot" I know it's based on girlish memories of what once was and will never be. My first was supposed to be my last and he isn't and for a very good reason too.

Zarah...life is not perfect...sometimes you just have to embrace the indaequacies.

[ZaraJah]

Re: Your First...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Magic</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Zarah</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I also thought (again, based on conversations here) that it is only possible to love one person at a time. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img]
</div></div>

A who said you 'love' you ex. Nuh man, a nuh love dat.
It's lust, and it's the same thing that got you attracted to her in the first place.

We just learn to justify away that feeling later, and in some cases it goes away on it's own. The latter cases you're safe to meet later on. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img] </div></div>

I absolutely respect your honesty Magic. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] It is a pity more men and women refuse to call it as it is like you do.

Instead we pepper our lies with love and all that jazz. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img]

[ZaraJah]

Re: Your First...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Skelli0n</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Zarah...*sigh*

It's not a matter of wanting to have sex with someone else. It's just that some of us tend to have high sex drives...that's why it's real easy to be in the wrong place at the wrong time because someone can take advantage of that...so it's best to steer clear of certain situations as Magic said.

As to the matter of loving only one person...the heart is complicated. It never forgets. It would be irresponsible and naive to deny that you and only you are the sole object of their affection if they've been in love before. I know I was not the first love in my husband's life but that was just circumstances we could not do anything about. I choose to work on the here and now....that being said I enjoy my relationship and will do whatever it takes to make it work...so to avoid the jealousy that may spurt from communicating with my ex I will keep it at the level where it is now just to keep the peace.

Regardless of the fact that I may have a "soft spot" I know it's based on girlish memories of what once was and will never be. My first was supposed to be my last and he isn't and for a very good reason too.

Zarah...life is not perfect...sometimes you just have to embrace the indaequacies. </div></div>

Skells I hear and respect what you are saying.

In general, I read what married people on here write on a regular basis and although I know better than to take everything literally or to be the gospel, I do think that for the most part, those who are married would know more about marriage than those who have never been.

That is why I feel naive and at times at a loss from the mixed messages.

I thought that (though no one is perfect) once the decison is made about being the wife/husband, all past loves, lust, feelings etc., for first, last or whatever involvement in the past would be carefully placed in a bottle and dropped over the side of the honeymoon cruise ship in the middle of the ocean...never to be revisited. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img]

[DearK]

Re: Your First...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Skelli0n</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear K</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Good choice.. you could also invite him to meet you and your husband for coffee.

Do you think 'hiding' from him now might leave the door open for later on? Maybe the bet time to see him IS when you're pregnant so temptations will be less. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif[/img] </div></div>

Ummm....DearK....mi nuh think this pregnancy thing helps the sex drive at all..I am in 5th gear [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

But I think down the road I will invite him to meet my husband [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]...yeah....waaaaaaay down the road. </div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] I was also thinking that his desire for you might be less than usual if he saw that you are
pregnant!
and for another man!

[julie*mango]

Re: Your First...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear K</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] I was also thinking that his desire for you might be less than usual if he saw that you are
pregnant!
and for another man!
</div></div>

Dear K...don't get tied up in a bunch but some men love to "wash baby face" as they call it. Something to do with the woman not being able to get pregnant because she already is.

[DearK]

Re: Your First...

I'm not suggesting that you're not beautiful and glowing in your pregnancy, so please take no offense...

Never heard the wash face term before and I do understand freedom from impregnating, but isnt there a point where men think they may hurt the child and all that? I started a separate post to further explore....

[Fyah]

Re: Your First...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Skelli0n</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Dear K</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] I was also thinking that his desire for you might be less than usual if he saw that you are
pregnant!
and for another man!
</div></div>

Dear K...don't get tied up in a bunch but some men love to "wash baby face" as they call it. Something to do with the woman not being able to get pregnant because she already is. </div></div>

This is SHOCKINGLY disgusting. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/sick.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/sick.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/sick.gif[/img]