throwing this out there

[damask]

Does being in love make people overlook someone lying, cheating and abusing you?? Just thinking what would make a female or a male keep taking this type of treatment, complaining to everyone but not stepping. You are selfsupporting professional gorgeous, why?? Is this low selfesteem or what?? I have never loved anyone that much and neva will that I will sacrifice my well being just to say I am with that person. I doan love nobody more than I love myself. My current boyfriend is my second real boyfriend in my entire life so far and hell na he cannot treat me that way, he can step anytime. In relationship I realize I only give 75% of me you stop caring today me did stop fram yessideh.

I am really puzzled bout some relationship especially when the person always come crying and complaining. I want to say why do you always find yourself with this type of spouse dangggggg.

[JM1]

Re: throwing this out there

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Just thinking what would make a female or a male keep taking this type of treatment, complaining to everyone but not stepping ?</div></div>

Because people are very complicated and relationships even moreso.

[missus_vegas]

Re: throwing this out there

i have asked this question many times and i think i finally found an answer....for di last year or so mi tun big time certified relationship councellor[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]....i have dealt with enuff issues (my own included) and i finally come to dis conclusion...

first of all no matter how bad the relationship is, there's still some good to it. (atleaset in the victim's eyes there is.) there seems to be some kinda emotional security if u will...so i've come to the conclusion that people will stay in these bad realationships bcus they dont want to give up watever "good" thing/feeling they get from it.they know that overall its not good for them but they are afraid to take a risk. life is all about giving up somehting to get another. whatever that "good thing" is that keeps peeps in unhealthy realationships, they are scared they wont find that with neone else.sometimes they are simple not ready to give it up...its familar...its warm and cozy...its convenient... hence y they stay and put up with crap. everyday mi jus hope and pray mi no get so messed up and end up like some ediat peeps mi si around me.

i have also come to realize that people dont always want to deal with the "real" issues in their lives so they create all this drama as a distraction.if u constantly dealin with ur edidat bf/gf then u can hide behind their issues. u can ignore the things in ur life that u know u need to change but for watever reason u dont change them.

you know wat....these peeps that stay in bad realationships they not so much of a victim after all. they just dont want to be a man/woman enuff to face their problems and deal with them. that takes too much self discipline and self examination. it way easier to blame external forces!

[julie*mango]

Re: throwing this out there

You got it down pat [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]

Also yu figet fi add dat ooman born wid some gene dat block di reception of certain information from we brain an bline we...eva hear di saying dat love is blind?

[missus_vegas]

Re: throwing this out there

well maybe di love weh dem a feel and di love weh mi a feel and two diffrant love. cus my love only darken di eyes for bit...it no completely bline mi. dam dat deh love mus well strang!

[Yvonne N.]

Re: throwing this out there

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JM1</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Just thinking what would make a female or a male keep taking this type of treatment, complaining to everyone but not stepping ?</div></div>

Because people are very complicated and relationships even moreso. </div></div>


Quite true; there are sooooooooo many factors to consider.

[Hush Darlin]

Re: throwing this out there

dem sey love is blind

[fraggie]

Re: throwing this out there


One ] She might not want see her family broken a part.

Two ] She might not want to see her kid grow up without a father.

Three ] She could be guilty of something and accept that she deserve what she get.

Four ] Afraid she been single and die a lonely old woman.

various reason and lots of reconsideration and the process for a
woman to decide enuff is enuff seems like for ever.

[MarieK]

Re: throwing this out there

A woman who seems independent and in control wiht a winning self-confidence will most likely put up with the cheating because to her she is still choosing to be in teh relationship and he is not deciding for her whether she should leave or not. It is a control mechanism we use to make us feel in control.

Denial that somethign is happening give a false sense of control and many feed off of that.

[MarieK]

Re: throwing this out there

A woman who seems independent and in control wiht a winning self-confidence will most likely put up with the cheating because to her she is still choosing to be in teh relationship and he is not deciding for her whether she should leave or not. It is a control mechanism we use to make us feel in control.

Denial that somethign is happening give a false sense of control and many feed off of that.

[julie*mango]

Re: throwing this out there

Marie you give an interesting spin on this [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]...I never thought about the independent woman *choosing* to remain in a bad relationship just to prove she is making her *own* decisions and not letting her man's infidelity become a determining factor for her to leave...

I seriously have to think about this one.

[Bandana]

Re: throwing this out there

OK...

A couple years ago, I had a friend who was seeing a man that always made her upset. She would call me crying and frustrated one day and be back with him the next. I used to get SOOO mad at her, and wonder how she could allow herself to be treated so poorly.

Then it happened to me [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70361-embarassed.gif[/img]

I met a man that rocked my world. There is no way of describing the chemistry we had. For months I could think of nothing else but this man. He lied to me, I forgave him, he hurt me, I forgave him. Nothing I had ever felt, measured up to the feeling he gave my belly when things were good. Not even the bad could make me foregt the good. And there I was crying to my friend one day, and back with him the next.... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

*sigh*

I pray you never go through the heartache of loving someone who is not good for you damask... it nah easy [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img]

[nattydreadgirl]

Re: throwing this out there

((((Bandanna))))

[Yvonne N.]

Re: throwing this out there

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Bandanna</div><div class="ubbcode-body">OK...

A couple years ago, I had a friend who was seeing a man that always made her upset. She would call me crying and frustrated one day and be back with him the next. I used to get SOOO mad at her, and wonder how she could allow herself to be treated so poorly.

Then it happened to me...

I met a man that rocked my world. There is no way of describing the chemistry we had. For months I could think of nothing else but this man. He lied to me, I forgave him, he hurt me, I forgave him. Nothing I had ever felt, measured up to the feeling he gave my belly when things were good. Not even the bad could make me foregt the good. And there I was crying to my friend one day, and back with him the next.... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

*sigh*

I pray you never go through the heartache of loving someone who is not good for you damask... it nah easy [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img] </div></div>


Everybody needs one of these to be able to ...understand...[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]

[Bandana]

Re: throwing this out there

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Everybody needs one of these to be able to ...understand... </div></div>

Ok, but just one, I beg you!
Cause I would hate to go through that mess again! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

And you know what, he's still not toally gone from me.. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img]
One letter, one phone call, one word from that man there, and my belly still a flip flop [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img]

But me never see him in almost 10 months now (amazing what moving 600 miles away can do for you) [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif[/img]


BTW:
Thanks for the hug natty, hope you had a great time in JA I bet you need a hug now that your back [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img]