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The secrets you should never share, not even with your husband
THERE are some things that should be placed in the "what he doesn't know won't hurt him" folder in your life, secrets best left between you and your god.
Counselling Psychologist Ivret Williams said before you disclose sensitive information to your partner, no matter how close the bond, you should ask yourself the following questions:
1. What is the purpose of telling him?
2. How does it affect the relationship?
3. How does it hinder the relationship?
4. If it does not help the relationship, why would he want to know?
However, there are things Williams said that must be made known to the other person as they could cause serious problems down the road. Others, like the ones below, can do more harm than good if shared.
1. That you had an abortion.
If in your 20s you made a mistake and decided that abortion was the best choice for you, there's not much need to share this information with your spouse, unless you're certain it may have compromised your fertility.
If your doctor has told you of no long-term effects from your abortion, then telling your mate is pointless, and may skew his views towards you.
2. That you cheated on a past partner.
This kind of information isn't relevant to your relationship, unless you've cheated on every partner you have been with. If you cheated one time while intoxicated and regretted it after, there's no point in letting your man know since you won't repeat the act. Telling him will only open the trust can of worms, and he will always wonder if he's next.
3. That you had a curable STD.
"If it is now cured why tell him?" Williams asked. "If you had it before you met him, why remove the scab? It is cured. It will not recur. If it is cured there is no need to bring it up."
She said, however, that your partner needs to know about infections like herpes since there is no cure and since without using protection, he could become infected too.
4. The number of men you slept with.
This is none of his business, just like his number is none of yours. He may say he doesn't care, but he won't be able to get over it if your number is in the teens, or if you start giving details of each partner, which may make him feel inadequate.
"We all have egos and that is what drives a lot of people," Williams said. "And so men want to know that this spot of land was never fertilised by anybody else. He wants to know that there is not a lot of fertiliser all over this spot of land. He wants to know that if any fertiliser was put on, it was maybe one," she explained.
Read more: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines...4#ixzz1xEMqYWZj</span>
<span style="font-weight: bold">
The secrets you should never share, not even with your husband
THERE are some things that should be placed in the "what he doesn't know won't hurt him" folder in your life, secrets best left between you and your god.
Counselling Psychologist Ivret Williams said before you disclose sensitive information to your partner, no matter how close the bond, you should ask yourself the following questions:
1. What is the purpose of telling him?
2. How does it affect the relationship?
3. How does it hinder the relationship?
4. If it does not help the relationship, why would he want to know?
However, there are things Williams said that must be made known to the other person as they could cause serious problems down the road. Others, like the ones below, can do more harm than good if shared.
1. That you had an abortion.
If in your 20s you made a mistake and decided that abortion was the best choice for you, there's not much need to share this information with your spouse, unless you're certain it may have compromised your fertility.
If your doctor has told you of no long-term effects from your abortion, then telling your mate is pointless, and may skew his views towards you.
2. That you cheated on a past partner.
This kind of information isn't relevant to your relationship, unless you've cheated on every partner you have been with. If you cheated one time while intoxicated and regretted it after, there's no point in letting your man know since you won't repeat the act. Telling him will only open the trust can of worms, and he will always wonder if he's next.
3. That you had a curable STD.
"If it is now cured why tell him?" Williams asked. "If you had it before you met him, why remove the scab? It is cured. It will not recur. If it is cured there is no need to bring it up."
She said, however, that your partner needs to know about infections like herpes since there is no cure and since without using protection, he could become infected too.
4. The number of men you slept with.
This is none of his business, just like his number is none of yours. He may say he doesn't care, but he won't be able to get over it if your number is in the teens, or if you start giving details of each partner, which may make him feel inadequate.
"We all have egos and that is what drives a lot of people," Williams said. "And so men want to know that this spot of land was never fertilised by anybody else. He wants to know that there is not a lot of fertiliser all over this spot of land. He wants to know that if any fertiliser was put on, it was maybe one," she explained.
Read more: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines...4#ixzz1xEMqYWZj</span>
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