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Prudence, My wife, who is infertile, and I have recently decided to have children—we’d like eventually to have three—using an egg donor. (We decided against adoption because we would have no biological connection to our children.) We have just settled on this option but it has thrown open a whole new dilemma for me. I am white and my wife is East Asian. Her race isn't a problem for me and I would have had no difficulty raising mixed race children, but frankly, now that I have the choice, I’d prefer my kids to be white. We live in a fairly homogeneously white area and at the end of the day I want my kids to look like me, their cousins, and the kids they'll go to school with. I don't think my wife has ever experienced racism, but I think she might understand my point of view. Then I think I maybe I’m just convincing myself about this. I really could use a second opinion before I broach the subject with her. —Want To Be a Dad
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Last edited by dearjohn; 12-02-2012, 05:55 PM. -
he probably went to malaysia (or insert any ) married his young wife for her bedroom skills and submissive nature and brought her back to his country to live happily ever after.
wait till she carry them out and about and people ask her if she a dem nanny (yes mi know is 2012, but it still happens) -
~sigh~ she probably has not experienced 'negative' stereotyping is probably what he means. Asians are supposed to be smart, hard workers, blah blah blah so probably has met said expectations hence his stupid comment.
If they are going for an egg donor then why not one from her heritage since I am assuming he will be providing the sperm.
He may not 'see' the racism but has yet to ask her - as fi the renkness bout him homogeneous white population and wanting the kids to fit in, im neva tink pon dat b4 im married?
btw is why the topic called adopt but he is talking about egg donation & dem ting dereIf you don't fight for what you deserve, you deserve what you get.
We are > Fossil Fuels --- Bill McKibben 350.orgComment
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I cant edit it either.I wonder why he wouldnt assume that his wife would want a child that might look like her a little.Comment
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My two chirren look just like me
job well done cb pat myself on the back:Last edited by CeaBee; 11-30-2012, 04:50 PM.Comment
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CB them look Guyanese?
Maybe the efforts to get pregnant are non-existent on his part as shi good enough fi ... but not be the biological mother of his racist self.Comment
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She will receive the fertilized egg and bear the children, right? Doesn't matter what the children look like - she will mother them. She can have white children speaking Malay or Thai or Tamil or Whatever at school in their homogenous community. Then they would really stand out.
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DearK: Thanks for looking into it.
dearjohn: Thanks for fixing the title.Comment
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Exactly since she most likely will be the primary caretaker. No one's mentioned if they think he;s right that the children would have an easier time by the parents choosing to make them white.Originally posted by Peasie View PostShe will receive the fertilized egg and bear the children, right? Doesn't matter what the children look like - she will mother them. She can have white children speaking Malay or Thai or Tamil or Whatever at school in their homogenous community. Then they would really stand out.Comment
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I notice that most of the comments with a positive rating are anti-race mixing, but then again it is the Daily Mail readership, so perhaps they are not indicative of the country as a whole.Originally posted by Wahalla View PostComment
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In a mostly white area yes the children will have an easier time fitting in by being white but the point it what are you teaching said children? I say asian wife should divorce his behind and find smaddy who loves her and her culture enough for it to be representedOriginally posted by DearK View PostIf you don't fight for what you deserve, you deserve what you get.
We are > Fossil Fuels --- Bill McKibben 350.orgComment
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I say Asian wife is a dumbass to be with someone with views like that....Originally posted by kia027 View Post
btw, what was the official response to his query?Comment
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brilliant!Originally posted by Nunya View PostIf you don't fight for what you deserve, you deserve what you get.
We are > Fossil Fuels --- Bill McKibben 350.orgComment
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