Desperate Women Part 8: Women Dating Ex-Cons and Prisoners

[Tropicana]

I guess my only question is "why?" Why would any woman, particularly a woman with kids be so desperate?

I stumbled across this and in view of recent dicussions, thought it might be an interesting topic to explore. Steering clear away from humourous thread (cyann boddah), let's look at something very serious:

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Women Can Really Be Weird
Women Who Fall in Love with Prisoners and Ex-Cons

Have you ever wondeed why a women would be a penpal to a prison inmate? I can understand that if it is a situation where a wife is writing to her husband and a child to their father who was incarcerated. What about the others who write to total strangers? Is it because they are desperate or an ominous sign of the shortage of men? Perhaps, it is because of feeling too much sympathy for someone incarcerated - - after all - isn't it our so-called Christian duty? Or are they so alone that is the only to ease their anguished hearts?

I am writing about this after hearing the news that a female juror in the Scott Peterson case is now his pen pal. Supposedly her therapist (apparently she needed one after the trial) advised her to write Scott Peterson. The article alluded that the therapist "didn't think she would actually mail it " but she did anyway and thus, they have become pen-friends. I wonder though about what sort of friendship between her and Scott Peterson could be, after all, wasn't she one of those who sentenced him to death? Now, she is singing a different tune, but alas, too late. Or maybe she was out of tune when she agreed with the rest to sentence this "charming man" to death.
This makes me furthur wonder why women fall for prisoners, ex-cons and the types of men that their mothers would vehemently disapprove of. Perhaps, it's a complex
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Any thoughts? Reactions?

I had a friend at college...White and very mousy. She couldn't get a guy to pay attention to her if her life depended on it. Next thing you know she was involved in "prison ministry" and she married a Black guy when he was released from prison. I know another "big horse woman", Black Jamaican, who started dating a guy with a criminal record. She met him when he was in jail. Even married him when he was released. That didn't stop the authorities from deporting him straight back to Jamaica.

So wha' mek? It's difficult to understand. Can anybody shed some light on this?

[ohliz]

Re: Desperate Women Part 8: Women Dating Ex-Cons and Prisone

I pen palled a friend in prison. I knew him before that though, and not romantically. He's out and we are still friends.

I don't think I'd look for romance in a prison, but some ex-cons would be OK, if they weren't in for violent or other certain types of crimes.

But i guess you're talking about the (I think) kind of sick women that actually seek out that kind of man as a partner?

[damask]

Re: Desperate Women Part 8: Women Dating Ex-Cons and Prisone

Pro'bly have major issues, self esteem, as you said one mousy and pro'bly feel no one will have her. So, if she marries a jailhouser she is couple notches above him so he will stay. But what do you mean big horse woman, she big like horse [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] if so maybe she thinks her size is a deterrent factor in getting a mate, same as above thinking if she marry jailhouser he will stay. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]

[Suesumba]

Re: Desperate Women Part 8: Women Dating Ex-Cons and Prisone

i dated one who was in prison for 20 years. he's a motivational speaker.

[Tropicana]

Re: Desperate Women Part 8: Women Dating Ex-Cons and Prisone

"Big horse woman" means a grown woman. I don't know if it's a common Jamaican expression but my family uses it. It's when you want to emphasize the fact that the person is grown not a pickney.

I think there are a couple of scenarios here. Sometimes people make a mistake when they are young, do jail time, learn from their mistake, and then completely change their lifestyle. I am not talking about that type of scenario. Afer all, we all make mistakes. I am talking about women who get involved with these guys when they are still in jail or shortly after they have served time. Guys who haven't had a chance to prove themselves yet with at track record. I guess I could have called this "Desperate People" because one example that quickly comes to mind is that witch Karla Homolka. Why any man would want to date her, marry her and have her be the mother of his child is WELL beyond me. That's part of what got me thinking about this.

[ILP]

Re: Desperate Women Part 8: Women Dating Ex-Cons and Prisone

I use to think I felt a certain way about women that dated ex/cons until I read The Prisoner's Wife and now I am not sure how I feel. Life is too short is what I feel today. To each their own.

[Tropicana]

Re: Desperate Women Part 8: Women Dating Ex-Cons and Prisone

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: iluvportland</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I use to think I felt a certain way about women that dated ex/cons until I read The Prisoner's Wife and now I am not sure how I feel. Life is too short is what I feel today. To each their own. </div></div>

I just started to read the excerpts from her book:

Excerpts

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> This Is a Love Story This is a love story like every love story I had always known, like no love story I could ever have imagined. It's everything beautiful -- bright colors, candle-scented rooms, orange silk, and lavender amethyst. It's everything grotesque, disfigured. It's long twisting wounds, open and unhealed, nerves pricked raw, exposed.

This is a love story, awake and alive. It's a breathing document, a living witness. It's human possibility, hope, and connection. It's a gathering of Spirit, the claiming of dreams. It's an Alvin Ailey dance, a rainbow roun' mah shoulder. It's a freedom song, a 12-string guitar, a Delta blues song. This story is a reprieve.

This is a love story, threadbare and used up, yet sometimes fat, weighty, stretched out of shape. It's polyester, this story, man-made, trying to be pretty, not quite making it. This is a story desperate to hold itself together. This is a story with patches in the knees.

This is a love story, my love story and thousands of other women's love story. It's a story that's known, documented, photographed, videotaped, audiotaped, filed, photocopied, watched over, studied, caricatured, questioned, researched, and noted.

This is a love story. It's the one we keep close, sheltering it from judgment. It's lovers denied at family dinners and at office parties. It's secret glances at Polaroid pictures. It's whispered names. This is a story hidden within midnight bus rides and 5:00 A.M. van rides, behind metal detectors, electronic doors, and steel slamming against steel.

This is a love story, the one not generally discussed in polite or even public conversation.But if there's one thing that I do know about myself, it's that I know I hate secrets, that secrets mean shame, and that I am not now, nor will I ever be, ashamed that I am a woman who has loved someone, and that someone loved me.

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<span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style="color: #CC33CC"> Wow!! </span></span>

The way she writes is absolutely beautiful. Powerful. Fluid. Captivating....like poetry. I am going to buckle down and read all of the on-oline excerpts later when I have some time. It will be interesting to get some insight into her POV.

Look at the first paragraph for examples. Grabs you right away.