Your husband's family what would you do?

[Boopie2]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Shandra</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Boopie2</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Shandra</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The togetherness is a little bit much ...but...how can you like the husband...and not his family?

My suggestion is that she finds something to like about all of them so that her life will be easier to share with them. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] </div></div>

She doesn't have a problem with not liking his family, but every blastid weekend you have to spend it with them? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] You, your husband and baby are a family too. She cries, he feels guilty and then makes you feel like you're the selfish one for not wanting to spend some kind of alone time with him and the baby.

I'm talking about "EVERY WEEKEND" now vacations too. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] What did he marry her for if he"s still attached to his mom"s tits. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] </div></div>

Where him come from?
Sometimes families from the Eastern cultures are extremely family-oriented and see this togetherness as just part ah di runnings of 'being one'. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

mi understand how she mussi feel doah...
</div></div>


He's not Black he's White American. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] I want to say Detroit or something like that, so that's blows that theory straight out of the window. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

[quote=Mrs. MarieK]Simple, I would NOT go and go elsewhere by myself with my kids (if wi have none).

Some African cultures tan suh bout family and inlaw, mi married yuh an nat yuh family.

First of all, how did she allow the inlaws to become so involved in her marriage.




They have been married for only 2 years, I can see her trying to get along and make peace as she has and is trying to do now. Like I said his mother starts this crying thing, son feels guilty and his wife looks like the selfish one and gives in.

It's not so much about spending time with the family I think she's pizzed cause they have to pay for her sister in law, her husband and 2 kids vacation. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

They paid the first year of their vacation which wasn't alot of money but now $3,000 is staring her and her husband in the face. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70379-moneyeyes.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70379-moneyeyes.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Simple, I would NOT go and go elsewhere by myself with my kids (if wi have none).

Some African cultures tan suh bout family and inlaw, mi married yuh an nat yuh family.

First of all, how did she allow the inlaws to become so involved in her marriage.

</div></div>

but in other cultures when u marry the person you do marry the family.

I would request a family meeting and raise her concerns. I would offer to spend every other weekend with them as a compromise (btw where is her family in this??). As for the vacation, if the husband's sibling cant afford the vacation, then I would put the responsibility on the parents if they want the sibling & family to go. She has her own family expenses & funds to manage as well and just say she cant afford it this year. </div></div>


Her family lives out of State so that's no the problem at all. That's the thing her husband doesn't see what the big deal is to pay and cover for the other family. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] He was trying to keep it a secret until the dad opened his mouth about the money and their half $3,000. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[MarieK]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

well she's wrong and it wont stop. The mother is vindictive and realises that all she has to do is cry and they will come running and who cares if they think that she is selfish?

the best way to fix the problem is not begin it. why are the sis and bro in law going on vacation if they can't afford it.

No way in hell would I pay for two grown people and their kids. If they knew they like to vacation then don't have kids by why is it a problem of the new wife. And 2 years or 20 years it nuh matter. Does she work?

Or you can start pressuring the husband for things and make him choose, then start crying if he's swaying towards momma's side [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif[/img]

sorry I am vindictive like that.

Or simply go out and spend the money. Buy a 3,000 gucci bag wid di money an seh "sarry, di money done" choopid eediat

[Boopie2]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SweetSsop</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body">after the has the kid, she should just run weh </div></div>
and get alimony and child support </div></div>

nah. she needs to just leave that mess behind. the man noh believe inna birth control soh har body and mind is gonna be STRESSED to the max. di man aggoh mad har to rackstone. me'eda leff. mi know wan man foofa wife run weh leff him wid dem 5 pickney fi raise. i know there's a certain amount a shame inna dem ting dem, but body and sould comes first. besides, with that tightly wrapped family i'm sure there'd be no shortage of hands fi wash nappy and feed pickney [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img] </div></div>



No her sister in law's husband doesn't believe in birth control for his wife. They have 2 kids and number 3 is on it's way. That's why her mother in law is saying "they'll never have money to take a vacation" [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] Why sponge off of people if you can't afford it then stay your broke self local. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">well she's wrong and it wont stop. The mother is vindictive and realises that all she has to do is cry and they will come running and who cares if they think that she is selfish?

the best way to fix the problem is not begin it. why are the sis and bro in law going on vacation if they can't afford it.

No way in hell would I pay for two grown people and their kids. If they knew they like to vacation then don't have kids by why is it a problem of the new wife. And 2 years or 20 years it nuh matter. Does she work?

Or you can start pressuring the husband for things and make him choose, then start crying if he's swaying towards momma's side [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif[/img]

sorry I am vindictive like that.

Or simply go out and spend the money. Buy a 3,000 gucci bag wid di money an seh "sarry, di money done" choopid eediat </div></div>


The sister in law doesn't work at all. My friend works and is expected to pay $150 of the $3,000. I told her for that amount of money the 3 of them can go out somewhere nice. She wants to go on a cruise so I stopped by a travel agent that I've come to trust during the years. Today she says "No he doesn't want to go on any cruise." [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]


I'm like you I would just go and spend my money take the baby and have a nice vacation without him or his family. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] You do try at first to please the family but enough is enough. I blew up after 4 years of keeping quiet and going along, things started going my way. When you start acting like a fool then everybody starts to listen and take notice, I don't care what they think life is too short to be walking around on egg shells every day.

I did think it wad funny when his cousin sat outside and called for my husband from his cellphone asking him to come outside. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] I could see him from my computer room's window. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Nunya]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

Every weekend??? That's one of the craziest things I've heard in a long time [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazy.gif[/img]

So they never want to just spend the weekend in bed??? Or they have to hurry up cause they've got to go visit mummy an the snotty-nosed mini-in-laws??? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazy.gif[/img]

What do they do when it's their anniversary??? Celebrate it with their inlaws???

Does she not have friends that she can hang out with after leaving the baby home with dad??? Or is that against the rules?

Is dude from Ohio??? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Every weekend??? That's one of the craziest things I've heard in a long time [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazy.gif[/img]

So they never want to just spend the weekend in bed??? Or they have to hurry up cause they've got to go visit mummy an the snotty-nosed mini-in-laws??? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazy.gif[/img]

What do they do when it's their anniversary??? Celebrate it with their inlaws???

Does she not have friends that she can hang out with after leaving the baby home with dad??? Or is that against the rules?

Is dude from Ohio??? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] </div></div>


They go to his parents house every weekend the sun rises. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img] The last blow up was at Xmas, his mother wanted them to bring all of the Xmas presents to their house so they could spend the weekend together.[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/vomit.gif[/img] My friend's mom and step dad came all the way from Alabama to spend time with the grand baby, their daughter and son in law. ( They only get to see the grand baby 2 times a year cause her mom has back problems and can't stay seated too long)

Again her mother in law wanted Xmas to be done at their house. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] My friend told her no she didn't want to do Xmas at their house her mother would be visiting and they wanted to have it at her own house. Hear her mother in law "Well just invited your mom and step dad to come and stay with us too) [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] She told them she didn't think they would be comfortable spending time at their house. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/helpsmilie.gif[/img]

The mother in law didn't like it but they agreed that they would come and spend Xmas at her house instead. Then they had to turn around and invite her sister in law and the whole family to her house. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

No they don't leave the baby with anybody except the grand parents and that's once in a blue moon. She says she talked to my friend who has a travel agency, let's see if her husband shoots down all of her suggestions. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img]

[MarieK]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

right dehsuh meeda tell him fi guh eff dem an lef mi.

What she mean him nuh want fi guh pan no cruise. What is so hard in going by yuhself or fine smaddy else guh wid.

[Suesumba]

Re: Your husband's family what would you do?

that woman might soon do an andrea yates pan dem [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazy.gif[/img]