Is it me?

**Phatty** · 05-20-2007, 07:10 PM

Re: Is it me?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My boyfriend is in New York visiting and he's been there for a month. He has found this new way of playing with me. He will bother (Nag) me. Until i get [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/mad2.gif[/img]. He knows i'm easily provoked and that nagging is one of the worst things you can do to me. So now everything he says I snap. His latest was: He knows that i'm a Seventh Day Adventist (I once had a muslim friend that said, "WE will drink, have sex and probably even kill a man, but we won't touch that pork" [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]) and there's certain things I don't eat, so he will say something like, You will do this and this and wont do this your a hypocrite to God [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70361-embarassed.gif[/img] I don't know what gotten into him but I know what he's not gettin into when he comes back, cuz I believe he's right. Is it me or has this boy lost his mind 30K up in the sky on his way up there. </div></div>

Enlighten me Oh powerful one of what I was looking for.

I could have sworn I wanted someone to give me there opinion on what they thought was going on in my boyfriends head, hence, the "is it me?" title.

Or was I looking for someone to attack the fact that I am trying to find my way back to the path I need.
To think I should represent all of the Seventh Day Adventist. Like you should probably represent and be held responsible for what other blacks, whites, jamaicans, or americans do just because you are one.

**Phatty** · 05-20-2007, 07:13 PM

Re: Is it me?

truth to his statement, don't you think? If you are not a fully practicing SA, you should tell him so. That way, it protects the integrity of those who are fully practicing members (you wouldn't want him to think that all SA's will avoid pork but have sex outside of marriage, right?)

Yes this is what you were implying.

**DearK** · 05-20-2007, 07:17 PM

Re: Is it me?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
.... but there is some measure of truth to his statement, don't you think? If you are not a fully practicing SA, you should tell him so. That way, it protects the integrity of those who are fully practicing members (you wouldn't want him to think that all SA's will avoid pork but have sex outside of marriage, right?) </div></div>

Nunya, seems I misinterpreted when I read above. I took your specifying SA as singling it out and separating from other Christians. Particularly because there are christians who are considered 'fully practising', but who still have sex. it didnt seem you were giving the same latitude to SAs.

But we digress, we seem to agree that its crass for boyfriend to offer this rationale.

Phatty, does he show this 'nagging' behaviour in other areas as well?

**Phatty** · 05-20-2007, 07:25 PM

Re: Is it me?

Yes, I have mentioned this before, for instance when I'm up watching T.V. on Friday nights, or if I cook curried shrimp for my mother (I personally don't eat this). He sees it as me being hypocritical. I'm not the type to attack others religion due to the fact that I believe there is already one to judge, so I stay quiet throughout this 'nagging'.

**Compry** · 05-20-2007, 07:29 PM

Re: Is it me?

Phatty, are you OK with his nagging?

**Phatty** · 05-20-2007, 07:34 PM

Re: Is it me?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compry</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Phatty, are you OK with his nagging? </div></div>

No, I wasn't. I took care of the situation shortly after the original post. I told him I had to call it off due to the lack of respect for my religion and the fact that I hate the nagging. He kind of "tamed" after I said so. He didnt know it bothered me so much he says he was playing.

But like Dear K said I felt it was coming from a deeper source.

**Compry** · 05-20-2007, 07:39 PM

Re: Is it me?

Alright. That answered the next question I was going to ask. Good luck.

**Nunya** · 05-20-2007, 07:55 PM

Re: Is it me?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

Enlighten me Oh powerful one of what I was looking for.

</div></div>

Dear K's response is what you were looking for or was I misunderstanding this?:

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

Thanks thats the type of answer i was looking for. </div></div>

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I could have sworn I wanted someone to give me there opinion on what they thought was going on in my boyfriends head, hence, the "is it me?" title.</div></div>

But that's what I did [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] *sniff*

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Or was I looking for someone to attack the fact that I am trying to find my way back to the path I need. </div></div>

I attacked wharra??? Girl, you aint never been attacked by me. Cause trust, there would be no doubt and only one of us would be left standing... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">To think I should represent all of the Seventh Day Adventist. Like you should probably represent and be held responsible for what other blacks, whites, jamaicans, or americans do just because you are one. </div></div>

Mi neva didda go badda ansa dah pawt yah, but I am feeling unusually generous...

If you are a part of a group, in this case religious, then folk will use your actions as a marker for the whole group. Yeah, it's prolly stereotyping, but it's a truism nonetheless...

Accepting that this is human nature, you would be better served to let others know that you are not a practicing SA and that your not adhereing to all the tenets of the faith should thus be excused.

That way folk won't think that that's how all SAs are...

btw, at no point in the original post did you indicate that you were 'trying to find your way back'. What I read and understood was that you were miffed at boo cause he kept poking fun at you not eating pork but 'doing other things'... I also understood from your term "I don't know what gotten into him but I know what he's not gettin into when he comes back" that you were taking about sex...

or were you talking about church???

Anyhoo... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img]

**Phatty** · 05-20-2007, 08:10 PM

Re: Is it me?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

Enlighten me Oh powerful one of what I was looking for.

</div></div>

Dear K's response is what you were looking for or was I misunderstanding this?:

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

Thanks thats the type of answer i was looking for. </div></div>

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I could have sworn I wanted someone to give me there opinion on what they thought was going on in my boyfriends head, hence, the "is it me?" title.</div></div>

But that's what I did [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] *sniff*

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Or was I looking for someone to attack the fact that I am trying to find my way back to the path I need. </div></div>

I attacked wharra??? Girl, you aint never been attacked by me. Cause trust, there would be no doubt and only one of us would be left standing... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">To think I should represent all of the Seventh Day Adventist. Like you should probably represent and be held responsible for what other blacks, whites, jamaicans, or americans do just because you are one. </div></div>

Mi neva didda go badda ansa dah pawt yah, but I am feeling unusually generous...

If you are a part of a group, in this case religious, then folk will use your actions as a marker for the whole group. Yeah, it's prolly stereotyping, but it's a truism nonetheless...

Accepting that this is human nature, you would be better served to let others know that you are not a practicing SA and that your not adhereing to all the tenets of the faith should thus be excused.

That way folk won't think that that's how all SAs are...

btw, at no point in the original post did you indicate that you were 'trying to find your way back'. What I read and understood was that you were miffed at boo cause he kept poking fun at you not eating pork but 'doing other things'... I also understood from your term "I don't know what gotten into him but I know what he's not gettin into when he comes back" that you were taking about sex...

or were you talking about church???

Anyhoo... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img]

</div></div>

I clarified that I wasn't having sex with and not planning to, but like all humans do get tempted into thoughts (if you want to read the thread over). "...what he's not getting into" quote was to show that his constant nagging was turning me off from him. Therefore, if all that nagging continued, I wouldn't consider it. And if you look at what all races, cultures and religions and judge them, that's you to judge.
But from the experiences that I have gone through I realize I can't take one persons fat to fry another. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

**Nunya** · 05-20-2007, 08:15 PM

Re: Is it me?

k. **why is there never a scratch head icon when you need one???**

**BlessedLadyOfZion** · 05-20-2007, 09:14 PM

Re: Is it me?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Geneva</div><div class="ubbcode-body">suh a mi alone nuh get the gist a di story [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img] all when mi read ie chree time </div></div>

That is not the type of answer she's looking for [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70390-shhh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] </div></div> [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

**Boopie2** · 05-21-2007, 01:13 AM

Re: Is it me?

I agree with Nunya on this and don't give me the rolley eyes. Your post wasn't clear enough, on what the real problem was. I know at times I'm too wordy and people get lost, no need to get touchy about the subject.

I also agree with Nunya on the religion point, if you are viewed as suppose to be practicing a certain way you are going to be looked at and observed closer than the average people who don't attend church. No one is perfect but if I'm knowingly doing something wrong I wouldn't dare step in a church my conscience wouldn't allow me to do it.

How can one preach one thing and conduct themselves far from this preaching and living?

**Wahalla** · 05-21-2007, 06:30 AM

Re: Is it me?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My boyfriend is in New York visiting and he's been there for a month. He has found this new way of playing with me. He will bother (Nag) me. Until i get [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/mad2.gif[/img]. He knows i'm easily provoked and that nagging is one of the worst things you can do to me. So now everything he says I snap. His latest was: He knows that i'm a Seventh Day Adventist (I once had a muslim friend that said, "WE will drink, have sex and probably even kill a man, but we won't touch that pork" [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]) and there's certain things I don't eat, so he will say something like, You will do this and this and wont do this your a hypocrite to God [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70361-embarassed.gif[/img] I don't know what gotten into him but I know what he's not gettin into when he comes back, cuz I believe he's right. Is it me or has this boy lost his mind 30K up in the sky on his way up there. </div></div>

Is you.. stap chat fawt an gi deh man a piece... Mek im wear a condom doah... an when im done gi im some head....

**Kurlie** · 05-21-2007, 10:55 AM

Re: Is it me?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Phatty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My boyfriend is in New York visiting and he's been there for a month. He has found this new way of playing with me. He will bother (Nag) me. Until i get [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/mad2.gif[/img]. He knows i'm easily provoked and that nagging is one of the worst things you can do to me. So now everything he says I snap. His latest was: He knows that i'm a Seventh Day Adventist (I once had a muslim friend that said, "WE will drink, have sex and probably even kill a man, but we won't touch that pork" [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]) and there's certain things I don't eat, so he will say something like, You will do this and this and wont do this your a hypocrite to God [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70361-embarassed.gif[/img] I don't know what gotten into him but I know what he's not gettin into when he comes back, cuz I believe he's right. Is it me or has this boy lost his mind 30K up in the sky on his way up there. </div></div>

Enlighten me Oh powerful one of what I was looking for.

I could have sworn I wanted someone to give me there opinion on what they thought was going on in my boyfriends head, hence, the "is it me?" title.

Or was I looking for someone to attack the fact that I am trying to find my way back to the path I need.
To think I should represent all of the Seventh Day Adventist. Like you should probably represent and be held responsible for what other blacks, whites, jamaicans, or americans do just because you are one. </div></div>

Why the baxfoot when people come pon ya a look fi advise and opinion and yiou give it to dem...dem get offended and want to dis people because dem no read what dem want to read...but a wha tek dem?

**Kurlie** · 05-21-2007, 10:56 AM

Re: Is it me?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: LadyZ</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Geneva</div><div class="ubbcode-body">suh a mi alone nuh get the gist a di story [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img] all when mi read ie chree time </div></div>

That is not the type of answer she's looking for [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70390-shhh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] </div></div> [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] </div></div>

good one Nunya [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

Is it me?

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