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Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years, and I have
nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss
called to tell me that you had quit your job today, and that was the
last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new
hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of
silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, then went straight to
sleep after watching all your soaps. You don't tell me you love me
anymore, you don't want to have sex anymore or anything. Either you're
cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I am
gone.
Your EX - Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
HER SIDE OF THE STORY ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It is true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much
because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that
doesn't work.
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week. The first thing that
came to mind was, "You look just like a girl!" but my mother raised me
not to say anything, if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked
my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER,
because I stopped eating steak seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those silk boxers on because the
price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence
that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning --
and your new silk boxers were $49.99. After all of this, I still loved
you and felt that we could work it out.
So, when I discovered that I had hit the lottery f or Ten Million
Dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I
got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope
you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that with
your letter you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Rich and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born
CARL. I hope that's not a problem.
Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years, and I have
nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss
called to tell me that you had quit your job today, and that was the
last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new
hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of
silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, then went straight to
sleep after watching all your soaps. You don't tell me you love me
anymore, you don't want to have sex anymore or anything. Either you're
cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I am
gone.
Your EX - Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
HER SIDE OF THE STORY ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It is true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much
because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that
doesn't work.
I did notice when you got a hair cut last week. The first thing that
came to mind was, "You look just like a girl!" but my mother raised me
not to say anything, if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked
my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER,
because I stopped eating steak seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those silk boxers on because the
price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence
that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning --
and your new silk boxers were $49.99. After all of this, I still loved
you and felt that we could work it out.
So, when I discovered that I had hit the lottery f or Ten Million
Dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I
got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope
you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that with
your letter you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Rich and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born
CARL. I hope that's not a problem.
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