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Jackass single men
Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey yu 'ave some Jackass bway whe still a min' ooman when dem can lease fi smaller money an' less 'eadache.
The classifieds make fascinating reading these days. More specifically, the 'services' section of the classifieds is very, very intriguing.
Apart from the 'Penis Grower', the 'Breast Enhancer', the 'Vagina Tightener' and all sorts of potions that promise longer and better sex, there are the massage parlours.
They all seem geared towards men and promise the best touch of all, whether it is a house visit or an invitation to come into their parlour. And it is 24 hours a day.
Then Jackass was in the line at a gas station supermarket (you know, the ones where the price of a Malta or Tru-Juice is more than a litre of 90 unleaded) and heard an uptown boy talking.
Now, he was not speaking particularly softly and you done know that Jackass does not have to move his head, only his ears (and no, we don't cock no ears roun' ere). How Jackass knew he was an uptowner? Because he spoke like Kirk in the last skit from the latest Twin of Twins CD. Plus he was an obvious gal clown.
He was telling a brethren that a certain girl had a "piece of personality there". She woke him up at 2:00 a.m. and said "I want bubble gum" and he duly trotted out to the store, got one pack of bubblegum and presented it to her. Hmm. As far as Jackass is concerned it should have been Extra Mint instead of Spearmint, so that she could slap him in the face with it and send him back for the correct one.
We no go fi gum fi girl at 2:00 a.m. roun' 'ere; girl present we wid gum at dem time a mornin'. An we naa chew it eida. Chat bout.
Emotional energy
After that particular piece of insight into the runnings of young male lives who run roun' house instead of run house, Jackass got to thinking (as usual) that the world is not level at all. Some of these young two-footers have no idea how good they have it. They can look in a respected newspaper, call a number and be presented with options of female forms and their services, all at a reasonable price. Heck, some even have websites so that you can scan the lasses without visiting.
And they insist on investing time, money and emotional energy in spoilt young women - rent, car payments, vacations, school fees - spa treatments, cell phones, dresses, club memberships and bubblegum; when all they have to do is pay a relatively small fee, slam, bam, here's your money mam, no headache, no running through cell phones.
Heck, Jackass can bet the ladies behind those numbers in the papers are always in a damned good mood and don't really, really have to talk about the kitchen cupboards right now.
In Jackass, young days (and face it. Hmm. Bad choice of words. Accept it. Young men and young women try a little of this and that before chilling, if they ever do) the only choice for these professional comforts was a road in New Kingston where the ladies looked like they should be paying the men or a dark club where the money digging for drinks started as you walked through the door. Now, Jackass presumes, the places are clean and the ladies do not look like a Toyota Corolla after a too close encounter with a Toyota Pajero at high speed.
So what are young men working hard to mind spoilt women for?
Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey some gal clown mek it look like sey sensible man a treat ooman bad.
Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey yu 'ave some Jackass bway whe still a min' ooman when dem can lease fi smaller money an' less 'eadache.
The classifieds make fascinating reading these days. More specifically, the 'services' section of the classifieds is very, very intriguing.
Apart from the 'Penis Grower', the 'Breast Enhancer', the 'Vagina Tightener' and all sorts of potions that promise longer and better sex, there are the massage parlours.
They all seem geared towards men and promise the best touch of all, whether it is a house visit or an invitation to come into their parlour. And it is 24 hours a day.
Then Jackass was in the line at a gas station supermarket (you know, the ones where the price of a Malta or Tru-Juice is more than a litre of 90 unleaded) and heard an uptown boy talking.
Now, he was not speaking particularly softly and you done know that Jackass does not have to move his head, only his ears (and no, we don't cock no ears roun' ere). How Jackass knew he was an uptowner? Because he spoke like Kirk in the last skit from the latest Twin of Twins CD. Plus he was an obvious gal clown.
He was telling a brethren that a certain girl had a "piece of personality there". She woke him up at 2:00 a.m. and said "I want bubble gum" and he duly trotted out to the store, got one pack of bubblegum and presented it to her. Hmm. As far as Jackass is concerned it should have been Extra Mint instead of Spearmint, so that she could slap him in the face with it and send him back for the correct one.
We no go fi gum fi girl at 2:00 a.m. roun' 'ere; girl present we wid gum at dem time a mornin'. An we naa chew it eida. Chat bout.
Emotional energy
After that particular piece of insight into the runnings of young male lives who run roun' house instead of run house, Jackass got to thinking (as usual) that the world is not level at all. Some of these young two-footers have no idea how good they have it. They can look in a respected newspaper, call a number and be presented with options of female forms and their services, all at a reasonable price. Heck, some even have websites so that you can scan the lasses without visiting.
And they insist on investing time, money and emotional energy in spoilt young women - rent, car payments, vacations, school fees - spa treatments, cell phones, dresses, club memberships and bubblegum; when all they have to do is pay a relatively small fee, slam, bam, here's your money mam, no headache, no running through cell phones.
Heck, Jackass can bet the ladies behind those numbers in the papers are always in a damned good mood and don't really, really have to talk about the kitchen cupboards right now.
In Jackass, young days (and face it. Hmm. Bad choice of words. Accept it. Young men and young women try a little of this and that before chilling, if they ever do) the only choice for these professional comforts was a road in New Kingston where the ladies looked like they should be paying the men or a dark club where the money digging for drinks started as you walked through the door. Now, Jackass presumes, the places are clean and the ladies do not look like a Toyota Corolla after a too close encounter with a Toyota Pajero at high speed.
So what are young men working hard to mind spoilt women for?
Jackass sey di worl' no level. Jackass sey some gal clown mek it look like sey sensible man a treat ooman bad.