Interracial Relationships & Children

[Bandana]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Keyer</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
What I think you can do is make sure you live in an area where the child will have influences of both his cultures or live in a city where there is access to it (found this on a transracial adoption site).

</div></div>

I think it really helps to be in a culturally diverse area, and the Bay Area is certainly that. Being in a diverse area helps one feel accepted, and not feel like they are different or an outsider...
But, I don't think that your environment has as much effect on who you become as your parents do...

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: PlantainGal</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Years ago I asked a boardie if they would ever be in an interracial relationship, and they told me no.

The reason according to them was that if they had kids, and something ever happened to them, the significant other would not be able to teach the child about their history, culture, and how to carry themselves as a black person in this life...


[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]

At the time I disagreed, I said there would be family on both sides, and other influential people of both races in the child's life, that would help shape them.

So, tell me what unno think, and then I'll come with what I have learned over the past 4 years in this situation...

</div></div>
It is not anywhere as important for the child to learn the half of his/her culture as to learn the whole of the culture of being a balanced humanbeing.
'Bridging cultures' an usually more beneficial than 'bonding cultrue'. The child can always learn the other half of his/her culture after the become of age to do so on their own.
There are so many people who are the product of a bonded cunture and still knows not enought to excell within that culture a,d then there are those well rounded souls, who seem to be able to function withing any culture without effort. and

[turtledude]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: PlantainGal</div><div class="ubbcode-body">turtledude [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img]

I feel it is a valid concern...

I know that above all else children need love, and I believe that if they grow up knowing they are loved they will be ok...

But I don't know if "ok" is good enough...

Someone can have plenty of black friends, but none will be as vested in the childs upbringing as a childs father/mother would be.

</div></div>

..."Connerdude" get's lots of love, but is surrounded by women (2 aunts and mother)...which I think at times frustrates him...

So...one day about a year ago, he comes home from daycare, which is run by a hispanic, (a lot of Spanish spoken there). He raises up his arm and stares at it, as he is standing in front of his mom. After about 30 seconds of this he blurts out, "Hey! I'm black!" His mother was caught offguard once again. Score another one for Conner. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]

[delawaregrl]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

I have a story to tell about my son..who is biracial.. One day he was having a program at his school and I walked in all the little kids came running up and saying to my son that's your mom and this one lil boy said no way your mom is white.. So, the teacher comes flying across the room almost out of breath. Telling the children I am aarons mom. Well, my son's teacher is biracial to so she explained to the kids that her and my son are like a pudding cup which is vanilla and chocolate swirled but when you shake it up it becomes mixxed and thats how they got the color of brown..lol!! I thought it was cute because I would not have thought of an example like that.!!!

[Bandana]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

That story makes me think of a book called "The Colors of Us" by Karen Katz


It is a cute children's book that helps one discuss the many colors of people with children...

But what I am talking about here is more the cultural influence rather than the color of our skin...

Our culture helps to shape the way we carry ourselves...

For example:
If I get in a jam, I try to think my way out of it, I try to use logic and resources to find my way... then I pray..

My child's father will pray first and think later...

I believe our difference in cultures makes us react different ways... I want my child to pull from BOTH cultures in his reactions to life...
But I can't teach him something I have not lived...


you see???

[diabolical_Tanya]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

And if I recall correctly don't ya'all also have other than black/white cultual race difference is'nt he southern and you northern?

[MrsBlue]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Seveen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">PG - i get frustrated sometime just raising a BOY - i have no frame of reference - and i can't wait until he gets over this wrestling phase - went from dinosaurs to Godzilla to wrestling [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/dizzy.gif[/img] what's next - NASCAR [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] </div></div> <span style="color: #3333FF">Ooh, don't say that. My youngest is in dinosaurs now. Thank goodness we don't watch any wrestling. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] </span>

[Bandana]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

yes [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazy.gif[/img]


His father is also part Native American, and he wishes he would have had more of that cultural influence growing up...

Yes he has learned more of the Native American culture now that he is grown... when we were in southern Oregon we went to Pow Wow's and really enjoyed spending time on the Indian Reservation, but that culture did not shape him as a child... he was shaped by the African American culture of the deep south...

I was shaped by the european culture of the west...

[delawaregrl]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

We went through the wrestling phase too.. Now we are back into the matchbox cars and stuff again..

[MrsBlue]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

<span style="color: #3333FF">How old? </span>

[delawaregrl]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

10 years old

[MrsBlue]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

<span style="color: #3333FF">Ah. Right in between my two. Oldest thinks he grown and I have to smack him around sometimes [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img] and youngest is still the baby. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] </span>

[delawaregrl]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

He thinks he is grown sometimes too gotta put him in his place.. That's like my trip in 12 days is his first to jamaica.. I am going to run him ragged...

[MrsBlue]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

<span style="color: #3333FF">Good, tire him out. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] </span>

[delawaregrl]

Re: Interracial Relationships & Children

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Blueness</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <span style="color: #3333FF">Good, tire him out. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] </span> </div></div>

Just hope I can tire him before I pass out first. Cause he is one kid with alot of energy!!!