Friend?

[Teal]

So I have been seeing this guy for a few weeks and taking it slow. He seems interesting but I decided to get to know him better before going anywhere physically. So, Friday night he came over and we had plans to barbecue and just hang out. A friend (J) called and complained of nothing to do so I asked her to come over and eat with us. Today another friend of mine called to tell me that J called her last night and told her that while I was in the house preparing some of the food, my date asked her for her phone number. She gave it to him. J asked my other friend not to tell me but she felt I had the right to know both of these people were playing me. I have already called him and told him to walk and throw away my number. What an [censored]. But, the real pain and betrayal is from her. How can she do that? We've been friends for several years. After initial lies she now admits she gave him her number but says she's sorry. Anyone else been through something like this? This is a first for me.

[Phatty]

Re: Friend?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Teal</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So I have been seeing this guy for a few weeks and taking it slow. He seems interesting but I decided to get to know him better before going anywhere physically. So, Friday night he came over and we had plans to barbecue and just hang out. A friend (J) called and complained of nothing to do so I asked her to come over and eat with us. Today another friend of mine called to tell me that J called her last night and told her that while I was in the house preparing some of the food, my date asked her for her phone number. She gave it to him. J asked my other friend not to tell me but she felt I had the right to know both of these people were playing me. I have already called him and told him to walk and throw away my number. What an [censored]. But, the real pain and betrayal is from her. How can she do that? We've been friends for several years. After initial lies she now admits she gave him her number but says she's sorry. Anyone else been through something like this? This is a first for me. </div></div>

my dear the many of us thats been there. Sometimes people are not thinking of their actions. I don't know how close you guys are, but if you can pass this your great friends.

[Kurlie]

Re: Friend?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Teal</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So I have been seeing this guy for a few weeks and taking it slow. He seems interesting but I decided to get to know him better before going anywhere physically. So, Friday night he came over and we had plans to barbecue and just hang out. A friend (J) called and complained of nothing to do so I asked her to come over and eat with us. Today another friend of mine called to tell me that J called her last night and told her that while I was in the house preparing some of the food, my date asked her for her phone number. She gave it to him. J asked my other friend not to tell me but she felt I had the right to know both of these people were playing me. I have already called him and told him to walk and throw away my number. What an [censored]. But, the real pain and betrayal is from her. How can she do that? We've been friends for several years. After initial lies she now admits she gave him her number but says she's sorry. Anyone else been through something like this? This is a first for me. </div></div>

Teal, people come into our life for a season and some for a reason. You need to figure out which one she is (reason or season friend). If she is a season friend is time for her to go. If she is a reason friend figure out the reason and if it don't serve the purpose anymore, time for her to go.

[Suesumba]

Re: Friend?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Teal</div><div class="ubbcode-body">But, the real pain and betrayal is from her. How can she do that? We've been friends for several years. After initial lies she now admits she gave him her number but says she's sorry. Anyone else been through something like this? This is a first for me. </div></div>

why do you think i'm so cynical? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/whatever.gif[/img] this friend thing has me totally confused. they're either really gossippy, eg. leff A house and chat A wid you and chat yu with A, etc., or they're jealoussy and petty.

[ZaraJah]

Re: Friend?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Teal</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So I have been seeing this guy for a few weeks and taking it slow. He seems interesting but I decided to get to know him better before going anywhere physically. So, Friday night he came over and we had plans to barbecue and just hang out. A friend (J) called and complained of nothing to do so I asked her to come over and eat with us. Today another friend of mine called to tell me that J called her last night and told her that while I was in the house preparing some of the food, my date asked her for her phone number. She gave it to him. J asked my other friend not to tell me but she felt I had the right to know both of these people were playing me. I have already called him and told him to walk and throw away my number. What an [censored]. But, the real pain and betrayal is from her. How can she do that? We've been friends for several years. After initial lies she now admits she gave him her number but says she's sorry. Anyone else been through something like this? This is a first for me. </div></div>

Even though she should have figured it out by coming to your house and seeing the "man" there, did she know that you were a potential item?

It is obvious that, That "man" is NOT really into you. He is fishing and willing to catch anything that "hooks". [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img]

Lesson for you: DO NOT invite "friends" to your home when you are trying to get to know someone.

Why would you do that anyway? If she is bored, that is her business and responsibility to find something exciting to do...not yours, especially when you are busy. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img]

To the LEFT, to the left...

[Suesumba]

Re: Friend?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Zarah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Why would you do that anyway? If she is bored, that is her business and responsibility to find something exciting to do...not yours, especially when you are busy. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img]

To the LEFT, to the left...

</div></div>
i didn't look at it this way, but you're right. the guy probably figured that if their personal private, getting to know you times wasn't THAT important to your friend, he has a right to look elsewhere.

the friend is still a hozebag tho.

[ZaraJah]

Re: Friend?

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SueSumba</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Zarah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
Why would you do that anyway? If she is bored, that is her business and responsibility to find something exciting to do...not yours, especially when you are busy. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img]

To the LEFT, to the left...

</div></div>
i didn't look at it this way, but you're right. the guy probably figured that if their personal private, getting to know you times wasn't THAT important to your friend, he has a right to look elsewhere.

the friend is still a hozebag tho. </div></div>

I agree with you Suesumba, but only if she knew that "Teal" was pursuing him in the first place.

I think she sent mixed messages to both guests, not to mention the length of time she must have left them there alone. She can't blame them for trying to get aquainted under those circumstances. Afterall, she DID say she was bored, [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/cleanyuhmout.gif[/img] and it appear as if homie had been on "hold". [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img]

Girlfriend should have been in the kitchen getting busy (since she was so bored [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] ) while they (the invitee and the invited) stay in the living room or bedroom and wait to be served their meal before... dessert. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/hungry.gif[/img]

[Hush Darlin]

Re: Friend?

well the friend was for a reason
she made you found out who the guy realy is
maybe it would have happened after you really got to kno him

[tsophra]

Re: Friend?

yep..the friend was lLady Providence at work..can't believe some are trying to rationalise his behaviour..if he did it now he would do it lata..and your "friend" was waaaay out a line..how can you trust her again...??

dang a so we hawd up?? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img]

[Teal]

Re: Friend?

J is someone who I thought was a close friend. The kind of friend you share your deep thoughts with about relationships with and all that. She KNEW I was dating him and was interested in him, or at least interested enough to invite him over (something i don't do often these days). I see nothing wrong with asking a friend over to spend time during a barbecue. The more I think about it, the more it is hurtful to me. If you can't go into the house to fix a salad and leave your sister-friend with you man for 15 minutes, what kind of frienship is that? When she called she needed me so I responded by asking her over to share some food. I don't think that's unreasonable. I did not have alot of time with him so his dog behavior didn't hurt but did disappoint me. As our mutual friend said to me what if I continued to see him and been in the dark about the kind of man he is and he had also asked her out she would have gone out with him and continue to lie to me. So the silver lining is at least his true self was revealed early and that is a blessing in disguise. And we are not young J is 48 and I am 42 so by this time of life I would think a woman would know a true friend is worth more than a man who is a player. For now I have told her to leave me be cuz I don't know if I can ever trust her again and I've been there for her emotionally for years. I've been on the other side where one of my friends full time guy came on to me. I told him he was crazy. If he did it to her he would do it to me. Why would any woman want a man who is dissing her good friend? And I agree there is no excusing his behavior. YUCK. The words respect and integrity come to my mind...that's what they both are lacking. Still though, my heart is pained that she would hurt me this way. All of you thanks for listening and showing your side and view.

[Shine_Eye_Girl]

Re: Friend?

Girl, never bring your friend around someone you are getting to know. It doesn't matter how close you think the two of you are.....and especially if she is lonely!!!!!!!!!!

But I would keep her at a distance because she isn't the friend that you thought she was.

As for me having this happen to me? Hell yeah....but me and this "bwoy" were in a relationship and I found out she was coming on to him.....I had to punch the [censored] in her face. Not for the fact that she was trying to get cose to him, but for the simple fact that she betrayed me and our so called friendship.

Just like a man will be a man...a "woman" will be a "woman"

[Nunya]

Re: Friend?

How'd you find out that she was coming on to him?

[Shine_Eye_Girl]

Re: Friend?

He told me about it......and I asked her about it too. At first she denied it, then she had the nerve to come clean with her fake [censored] crocodile tears. I mean the girl did have a rep. for doing things like that, but because we were so close I thought she would never do that to me.

[tsophra]

Re: Friend?

when I was younger..my sister-friends and I were always around each other's men..tell de chroot they "dated" a lot more than me.....nothing on toward ever happened..couple of times I thought someone may have being flirting with...actually one time one tried to hit on me while I was walking down the street.guess he didn't recognise me. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img].I never reacted to any of it.. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img]

iF u can't trust your friend around someone ur interested in..(if they know) or dating..dem not yu friend...period.

Teal [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img] u did absolutely nutten wrang..dis is on dem..an [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] fe de next friend who told yu what was going on

[MarieK]

Re: Friend?

yuh see dat is why my fist dem nuh prejudice. Them is a equal opportunity tumpa. MI foot dem is equal opportunity kicker and mi knife is a equal opportunity cutta. awoah [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/nahtalktoyuh.gif[/img]