....comes with age

[Kurlie]

Its funny how some of us (myself included)have little or no patience to deal with relationship issues such as the one DebsinNY post about.

I remember when I was younger, if I was in a relationship that I was really feeling the guy and he did some crap like cheating, etc. I would come up with all kind of excuses to justify his actions just to stay in the relationship. Really, when I look back I have to shake my head. What was I thinking?

With experience comes wisdom fi true. Now, its so easy for us to kick their [censored] to the curb because we know that we deserve better, that we are women with or without them and we know what love is and what love is not.

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] to all the women who reach that point in their lives or who was always like that.

[BlessedLadyOfZion]

Re: ....comes with age

Mi like fi yuh name to...BOAL> u all are killin mi

[Kurlie]

Re: ....comes with age

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: LadyZ</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Mi like fi yuh name to...BOAL&gt; u all are killin mi </div></div>

mi put it deh fi har, cau she too bright...a chat bout she hate dahjah.

[MarieK]

Re: ....comes with age

I have lost my patience too. In reality I don't address much of the crap that happens in my friends life cuz like Deb, I know they will justify it, I justlisten and interject with a few "That Muthawarra sed what" and couple "oh no he didn't" of course if is a good fren mi will drap een a few "yuh waan mi come help yuh an wi kick ar arse" and once in a whiel with a "di entiya lot a dem tan suh even fi mi tuh"

yuh see yuh haffi fling een fi yu suh she think yuh a guh chroo wid wah she guh chroo suh she will have likle sympathy an nuh explain and B*tch and moan about her eediat man. Of course yuh have some who love fi hear seh mi an him inna awgiment (all when a lie mi a tell) an dem wi tap fi dem tory an seh "wah, a wah him duh"

Now inna situation like dis mi haffi mek up two lie pon wah Missa Marie duh all when him nuh even deh deh mi cuss bout how him xpec mi fi pick up awfa him.

of course mi look out fi lightening for if ie strike mi a dead mi dead for nutt'n nuh guh suh.

sadly someitme mi get carried away wid wi play awgimetn an when him come home mi bex. mmi finally xplain ie an him mutta sinting awnda him breath an guh lack up eena di awfice.

[mountaingal]

Re: ....comes with age

i hear you, Kurlie (ummm... i think that's who you are).

however, mi waina look pon some of the discussion in Deb's post, and wonder if everything is so black and white at all times. is everything always a one mistake and you're out deal? if so, then what is the point of getting married in the first place, because no-one is perfect...

i guess some thing just appear to be non-negotiable: abuse, cheating. but mi haffi seh that after reading some of the responses in Deb's case, especially the thing about different sides of the story... *shrug*, it seems sometimes the wiser position when a marriage is facing these kinds of challenges is to spend a little time really looking to see if there is a chance for forgiveness, rather than an automatic out. in some of the cases.

[MarieK]

Re: ....comes with age

mg it depends on the type of mistake. Every couple gets into arguments (well almost, you have some on here who have never argued) but when it escalates into all out violence then that is unforgivable. I think that is the problem.

My friend who I spoke about yesterday is on her second STD/STI, this is not a degree and you are still b*tchin? Don't call me, I don't wann ahear it. Probably because in my life somethings are not an option, not even to be considered, I don't expect it to be in other folks lives.

I can't see behavior like this as grounds for reconciliation.

[Kurlie]

Re: ....comes with age

in some a de cases yes...but come on now...bax mi..a big big disrespect dat...draw mi blood, [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70388-shameonyou.gif[/img]

unless Debs know she guilty a someting, she playing wid her emotions and wid her life. Mi know nobadi nuh perfect but certain things are talerable and some is just not.

[Kurlie]

Re: ....comes with age

some people doan't know what they want and dem wi see the clear writing on the wall and enter the relationship thinking they can change the person too.

we cannot change no one but ourselves.

[Suesumba]

Re: ....comes with age

with age also comes the realization that none of us are perfect and we're more apt to put up with the *minor* things and lose patience for the *bigger* things, like getting your hand slammed in the car till it bleeds. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/whatever.gif[/img]

[mountaingal]

Re: ....comes with age

yes, being boxed is inexcusable. but she fite im back, and it seem by doing that she clearly established that im naw go getweh wid dem kinna behaviour, so the thing is maybe im have a chance fi show if im learn im lesson.

mi aggo seh dis and mi know mi a go get nuff crap fi seh dis - but nuff man gwaan pickneyish, dem ongle *think* dem know how fi hangle challenges in a relationship, dem a gwaan by what dem *hear* bout how dem fi deal wid dem woman during a disagreement. mi gad, some a dem, a juss cussing dem know how fi do, and no really know how fi articulate dat dem hurt and upset in a positive way. (years ago mi learn seh within Jcan culture, older women who gwaan aggressive and hostile are usually suffering from depression).

mi naw really excuse boxing a woman, but mi a try seh dat the commitment of marriage may sometimes benefit from each partner being tested severely and given a chance for redemption. i wouldn't want a woman to stay with a man who repeatedly beat har (i certainly wouldn't want any of my daughters to be in that kind of a relationship). but the emotional integrity of each person in the marriage is perhaps what should be weighted considered when making a decision to leave or go...

well, mek a stop right yasso before mi confuse miself...

[Nunya]

Re: ....comes with age

unfortunately, ano eerbaby age wid common sense... Some people put up wid ish from day one.. an dem so use to it (or it prolly work fi dem) dat, now decades layta, dem cyaa si no adda way but to kip putting up wid ish...

Now alla wi tolerance level ano de same. Whe mi wi fahgive, yuh prolly might not... But dere should be some tings dat should be a definate no-no, regardless of who wi be, whe wi live, how ol wi be etc etc.

In my book, a man a go bax mi an den intentionally slam mi finga an den chreatn fi bury me - dat top de lis.

Dat is not a matta fi counselling... dat is not a matta fi secon chances...

Because mi know say a so mi stay, mi mek im know fram day one whe mi wi put up wid an what mi wont. Mi oodn mek im a tek libatty wid mi day afta day, an den one day mi a go stawt bawl bout im wrong fi dweet...

Mi nah go put mi han eena im face. Mi nah go hol knife pon im. An mi nah go chreatn fi bury im. Mi deserve respeck. An cause im is wid mi, im deserve it to.

[Kurlie]

Re: ....comes with age

MG...Sue said it perfectly...tolerance fi minor tings.....come on now...we know that baxing you partner is WRONG so why go there...and not because she fight back that mean sey him a go stop...some people strive offa tings like dat...DRAMA

[MarieK]

Re: ....comes with age

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: i8tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">MG...Sue said it perfectly...tolerance fi minor tings.....come on now...we know that baxing you partner is WRONG so why go there...and not because she fight back that mean sey him a go stop...some people strive offa tings like dat...DRAMA </div></div>

I don't get it, should she not have fought back? Because she fought back that negates what he did.

[Suesumba]

Re: ....comes with age

her fighting back in most cases will only escalate the situation. and like Tsmall said, personal anecdotes are great for illustrating a certain point. but i'm not gonna go down that road for a BB post.

[Kurlie]

Re: ....comes with age

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: i8tanya</div><div class="ubbcode-body">MG...Sue said it perfectly...tolerance fi minor tings.....come on now...we know that baxing you partner is WRONG so why go there...and not because she fight back that mean sey him a go stop...some people strive offa tings like dat...DRAMA </div></div>


I don't get it, should she not have fought back? Because she fought back that negates what he did.

</div></div>

wah? you slow or someting...mi say not because she fight him back, nuh mean sey him a go stop.