It's time to cut ...

[Ensomgirl]

...the dead wood from my life. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img]

Have you ever gotten to a point in your life where you've had enough? Well I think I have. I don't care if the person is related or not, I'M DONE!!!

I am a very giving person, always trying to help in every situation. But I've come to the realization (as hard as it was) that some do not appreciate me. They take me for granted and will use me. So I've decided to cut myself off from them. It's hard. But hey! Life is hard, isn't it.

I will survive. I will just focus on myself and my immediate family. And by that I mean, my children and husband. To hell with everyone else.

Has anyone else gone through this? How did you feel? How did you cope?

[Nunya]

Re: It's time to cut ...

Yeah I've been there. After you make the decision to cut them adrift, you feel anxious and exhilarated at the same time.

After they're gone, you feel a little guitly, funny enough, but soon enough, you start feeling so light and free...

It's well worth it man!

Have fun.

[Ensomgirl]

Re: It's time to cut ...

I'm just disappointed. I thought family was supposed to be there for each other, through thick and thin. I've expended so much energy on sisters that do not consider me for ish. I am treated like an outsider. So I've said to hell with them.

Others have said they are jealous of me. I'm like 'for what?????????????' I haven't accomplished a thing (I have my personal goals).

I hope what you say is correct. I do feel a little anxious. I have not spoken to anyone. I've made the decision over the weekend after much soul searching. I look forward to when I'm feel light-hearted and free.

[Nunya]

Re: It's time to cut ...

Considering that it's your sisters you're talking about, it will be a bit more difficult. They prolly won't take you cutting them off that easily.

They'll prolly start calling you; coming by; saying things that'll get back to you.

Sisters know how to push our buttons, get under our skin... So be prepared for that.

You'll need a support system - which I guess would be your husband and probably a best friend. Someone who'll reassure you that you're doing the best thing...

Nedda ting: I know you were close to your mom. Are these your mom's daughters? If yes, they'll use that, saying stuff in the vein of 'A good ting mama nuh de roun fi si how she a gwan, cawse dis ooda mus kill har.'

Stuff like dat would prolly be really hard for you to take... And nex ting yuh know, yuh might relent and end up right back at the place you don't want to be...

[Gen]

Re: It's time to cut ...

Are these your half sisters Ensome ? or same mother/father ?

anyway...there comes a time in our lives when as painful as it is we MUST let go.

mi have one family member like that weh mi nuh chat to cause dem always have them hand out [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] mi nuh have the energy fi that.

[Ensomgirl]

Re: It's time to cut ...

We are the same mother and father. My half sister (father's side) was cut off for a couple of years now. It was too draining to sustain that relationship. Of course, everything that didn't go the right way in that relationship was my fault. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

I'm not saying I won't speak to them ever again. I just won't be as accommodating. I won't be the one to try to plan get togethers and stuff. Meanwhile they get together by themselves.

Funny you should mention support system. I have had it all along. My husband and a friend of mine that I've know since we were kids. My husband used to get upset with me because I put up with so much. But I used to say they're my family.

At this point I don't care what they have to say. I'm sure they've been saying ish all along behind my back anyways. They can continue now...but without having to be friendly to me.

When I cut someone off I'm done.

[Stormmey]

Re: It's time to cut ...

I know where you are coming from Ensome, you will be fine, sometimes you just need to cut off all negative energy. I cut my Mother off now three months. My relationship with my Mother was just too draining all the negative cruel remarks she made to me as a kid or not including me in any thing.

Now when we run into each other the look of puzzlement on her face. I say hello Diane and step, no more Hi Mom or small talk.

Freedom [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70371-jump.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: It's time to cut ...

I too have cut off a best childhood friend who was more like a sister to me, her parents would think that she was with me sometimes but she would be with some man. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] When she came up pregnant all hell hit the fan, my name was cleared but everytime she turned around she was in some mess and I would try to talk sense into her. Finally I had to cut her off, it felt like a load of bricks had been lifted. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70384-praying.gif[/img]

Had to do the same thing with one of my favorite aunts when she sided with another family member about something very serious involving the two of us. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img]

[Ensomgirl]

Re: It's time to cut ...

Thanks for sharing.

It is just sad. I am a family-oriented person. Making this decision does not come lightly. But I guess it was a long time coming.

I have been told that I need to sit down and talk with them about my feelings. I don't know if and when that will ever happen. Mi jus cyaan badda.

[Suesumba]

Re: It's time to cut ...

if it's not working, let them go.

[MarieK]

Re: It's time to cut ...

cut awf?????????

Well yuh come tuh di expert pon dat, let's see here's my list.

My father
Friend N
Friend P
cousin A
cousin C
Friend M
Friend J
Friend K
Ex C
Auntie P
An a few oddas.

Ensome, I am an only child having gained a brother through marriage (my madda married mi step fawda) and so friendships were hard for me to form and I do treasure those connections. For a long time I would repeatedly forgive people only ot have them do the same thing over and over and over again, so I simply stopped. It feels a bit unfair to the other person at times, but my reasoning has always been self-preservation.

emotionally, should you remain in contact with them, you will be on a roller coaster and before you know it, it will drive you insane.

[ZaraJah]

Re: It's time to cut ...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ensome</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...the dead wood from my life. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/frown.gif[/img]

Have you ever gotten to a point in your life where you've had enough? Well I think I have. I don't care if the person is related or not, I'M DONE!!!

I am a very giving person, always trying to help in every situation. But I've come to the realization (as hard as it was) that some do not appreciate me. They take me for granted and will use me. So I've decided to cut myself off from them. It's hard. But hey! Life is hard, isn't it.

I will survive. I will just focus on myself and my immediate family. And by that I mean, my children and husband. To hell with everyone else.

Has anyone else gone through this? How did you feel? How did you cope? </div></div>

Well Done!! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] Welcome to Nirvana, where you will BE free from any external contaminants...normally brought about by infested family and friends.

The sooner more people get to this stage is the better the world will be, I think.

I went through that process over three years ago, and I have never felt more liberated.

This is the beginning of your life...as it should have been, so ENJOY!!! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]

[MarieK]

Re: It's time to cut ...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ensome</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Thanks for sharing.

It is just sad. I am a family-oriented person. Making this decision does not come lightly. But I guess it was a long time coming.

I have been told that I need to sit down and talk with them about my feelings. I don't know if and when that will ever happen. Mi jus cyaan badda. </div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bexbad.gif[/img] jeezas have mercy, this entire post is making my head hurt. I can't beleive people actually say ish like this...... sit down and talk, about what........ Yuh an dem wenna chat before an dem hurt yuh suh wah is diffrant dis time

[Ensomgirl]

Re: It's time to cut ...

Rawtid! Marie yuh naw joke. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] But mi hear yuh.

Zarah, I'm hoping you're right. Can you tell me how soon I'll be in NIRVANA? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Ensomgirl]

Re: It's time to cut ...

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mrs. MarieK</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bexbad.gif[/img] jeezas have mercy, this entire post is making my head hurt. I can't beleive people actually say ish like this...... sit down and talk, about what........ Yuh an dem wenna chat before an dem hurt yuh suh wah is diffrant dis time </div></div>

Das di prablem. Dem nayna chat to mi. Mi always lef outta di loop. Suh mi nuh ave nutten fi chat to dem bout. Mi always used to a chat to dem but dem shet up dem mout. Suh now mi a duh di same.