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Daddy Oh
Tony Robinson
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Ten on this sleeve of thine:
Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine,
Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state,
Makes me with thy strength to communicate.
Shakespeare, The Comedy of Errors
How wonderful it is to hear a woman say that to her man, that he is an elm, a strong firm tree, and she a vine, fastened to him, depending on him for her very existence. Of course you could also read it another way, that she is clinging to him so closely that she's choking the very life out of him.
But that's for the cynics among you to say. The world has indeed changed, and gone are the days when women spoke such nice words of their men, voicing their admiration and dependence. Instead it's pure cursing and berating and saying how men are worthless vagabonds, or at best a mere tolerance of the man.
It makes you wonder if women really need men or not, and the way some women speak, many of us are convinced that men are obsolete, a dying breed, of no use, not even to father their children and if they could only get a sperm donor, then so be it, and begone with the worthless cur afterwards. In fact, there are women who opt to have children, but have no use for men, saying, "I want a child, I will have a child, but as far as I am concerned the man can go to hell. I will raise it on my own and I don't need any additional baggage to go with it."
So when you see single mothers, especially the more affluent uptown ones, don't feel sorry for many of them, for the choice was entirely theirs, pickney yes, man no. So if this is the case, when do women really need men? That question was put forward sometime last week on Dear Pastor's radio show. It was the post-Hurricane Dean night, with power gone, no TV, but only the comfort of a little battery radio, I was amused to hear that even in the climatic turmoil, people were still interested in affairs of the heart.
The answers from callers were intriguing, with many of them downright humorous, while others were quite tragic. Naturally there was a gender bias, and being a man I do have my theories. In spite of what many women may profess, they do need men in their lives to perform various functions, but the consensus was that women need men most for security and money.
"A man must provide for woman, and when I want anything, is man I go to for it." That was stated a lot by many women, and ironically, many men shared the same view. In fact, most of the men polled came to the conclusion that women only needed them for money. "Is only end of the month time, pay day, that I know that I will get a serious call from her," I heard a man say. During the rest of the month, the women were ambivalent, apathetic or even downright hostile to them, but with the promise of financial funding, that's when the men were needed most.
And don't think that this is just a downtown, low socio-economic strata phenomenon either, for well-educated, well-heeled, uptown, high society, tapanaris women also think and act this way. Just look around at the many young girls driving fancy vehicles and living in posh pads even though they have no jobs, or the jobs that they have certainly can't maintain that lifestyle, and you'll see my point.
Just like when Lovindeer sang, "Yu see me TV, is Gilbert give me, you see me fridge and stove, is Gilbert give me," referring of course to Hurricane Gilbert and how many folks benefited from its passage. Well the same principle applies to many women who need men most only when the financial rewards, real or potential, can be realised. If this were not so, more women would marry poor men, and as you can see that is not the case.
For this same reason, many husbands who I know don't even tell their wives when they receive a windfall, get a bonus or win some money, for as sure as night follows day, she will need him more and find some use for the money. "Boss, as far as my woman is concerned, my salary has not changed for the past ten years, neither have I gotten any bonus, and we are doing just fine.
Any how I tell her say my pay gone up, it will be instant trips to Courts, Singer and Appliance Traders or a new wardrobe for her." The point is, a woman's need for a man increases in direct proportion to how much he can provide for her. Sounds like Murphy's Law, doesn't it? Now I know that many women don't like to hear this type of talk, but just ask them if they will stay with any bruk pocket man and check out their answer.
Women need men to profile with. Sure, the very same way men have their trophy wives who they love to show off in public and be the envy of their male friends, is the same way women need men to profile with. In spite of what many women may say, they need men to go out with, and to add some respectability to their existence. "Like it or not, I need to have a man to escort me to certain places, as I feel very awkward showing up there alone." Preferably the man should be of some stature too, if not physical, then socially and financially.
And that's why many women will put up with so much crap from men, because they need them to give their lives a modicum of respectability. It's even better if he adds a Mrs to her name. I personally know of women who can't stand a bone in their men's bodies and will put up with all manners of abuse, emotional or physical, all because their need for the men outweighs any other factor in the so-called relationship. So same way you have trophy wives, you have trophy husbands too.
Women need men for sex, yes sex. Contrary to what you many think, women use men for sex the same way men exploit women for sexual favours. It was just recently that I saw this documentary that highlighted this. The common thought was that it was only men who needed women for sex, but even though many women act as if sex is low on their list of life's priorities, the survey done in the documentary proved otherwise. What was pointed out, was that women were far more discreet about it, and whereas they can't very well drive out in the dead of night and go knocking on men's doors to make booty calls, they have other ways of getting sex from men.
Women do get horny, do want to wrap up and get hot and heavy with their men, but they have to let the man feel as if he's the one doing the pursuing, the hunting and the acquisition of the prize, when all along she was the hunter. Remember what they always say, "A man chases a woman until she catches him."
But beware, for a man dare not refuse a woman's advances if she's bold enough to make her move. Women can give all sorts of excuses not to have sex with their men, but when a woman needs a man for that purpose and he flatly refuses or makes up some excuse, then the wrath and fury of a woman spurned shall descend on him like a thousand ancient curses. For when a woman needs, she had better be fulfilled.
Women don't really need men for companionship, apart from the public displays that I mentioned earlier, hence the proliferation of women and their pet dogs, plus many turn to other females for that. Still many women are financially comfortable but still need men to make their lives complete, even though they will deny it.
If you notice, there is an increase in women paying for services from young men, so if they can afford it, they will buy it. So men, take heed, don't despair, even though they may say and act otherwise, women do need men and even if they do use us, what's the big deal, men have been using women for centuries, so it's only fair. More time.
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Footnote: It's two weeks now since the passage of Hurricane Dean and we all have different experiences. Some were left unscathed while others suffered beyond belief and lost so much, even loved ones. It was a selective force, choosing who to spare and who to destroy. Comparisons were made to Hurricanes Gilbert and Ivan, but it all depends on where you were.
What is true is that once again we have done the Jamaica Jump, as the US met guys call it, as the hurricane veered off at the last minute. Is it really the Blue Mountains that provide a barrier or divine intervention? What is also true is how resilient we are as a people, bouncing right back so soon after the disaster, fixing up, rebuilding, and yes, spending money like mad to get our lives back to normal. We are indeed a special people.
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