I have a DearK problem - I think

[Compry]

Mi nat mekking up no cousin story like some people wey mi know (ICE, mi didn't call yuh name). [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

Alright, so I deal with a lot of folks in ministry, pastors, etc. (This is not a F&R thread) [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70388-shameonyou.gif[/img] For the most part I don't have any problems. They are human too and they make mistakes just like everybody else.

Last night I got a text message from a pastor asking if I had time to talk. I replied back that I did. OK, him call...all di way from Texas and he's just chatting stuff that at one point I sort of tuned him out and honestly I wasn't paying attention. Him start chat bout him home life [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img] then mi tune in when mi hear him sey, "oh my wife is home, I'll call you right back". [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img]

Him call back dis evening on his way home...not from his house but from his car. Again mi tune out him babbling bout him home life and thankfully I had to take a real business call so I hung up the phone.

My overthinking mode clicked on again cause a few weeks ago, him did di same ting. It's like he's up to something and Compry don't play dem games. Wamek him can't talk to me when his wife is home?

Wah unno woulda duh?

[kia027]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think

ask him directly what the deal is.. cause that does sound a bit dishonest

[ILP]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think

afta mi ask im "whamek you cyan talk to you wife?" ahn im nuh ansa, den mi would politely tell im fi nuh call again, unless it is chuch business.

but daht is juss me. mi nuh go to chuch, so mi nuh know wah di ramification would be. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img]
but im nuh have smaddy closer im can chat to? Texas is a very big state, enuh? Why im haffi call you way up inna Canada [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img]

[swedishrasta]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think

Gut feeling says something is up....why the pastor call and chat mundane stuff and then hang up immediately when the wife is home. Something not right there... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]

Of course, I could be wrong. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

[Compry]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ask him directly what the deal is.. cause that does sound a bit dishonest </div></div>

Mi nuh want give him an open fi mek him tink mi tinking too much bout it.

[Compry]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Juss_ILP</div><div class="ubbcode-body">afta mi ask im "whamek you cyan talk to you wife?" ahn im nuh ansa, den mi would politely tell im fi nuh call again, unless it is chuch business.

but daht is juss me. mi nuh go to chuch, so mi nuh know wah di ramification would be. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img]
but im nuh have smaddy closer im can chat to? Texas is a very big state, enuh? Why im haffi call you way up inna Canada [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img] </div></div>

Dat mi a sey tuh. Him have a large enough congregation to talk to sumady dere...even one of his elders or deacons.

[Compry]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Swedish</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Gut feeling says something is up....why the pastor call and chat mundane stuff and then hang up immediately when the wife is home. Something not right there... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]

Of course, I could be wrong. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img] </div></div>

Swedish, I do think a lot. Even today another pastor, who talks to me when his wife is around, told me that I think too much. I'm wondering if I'm thinking too much on this one.

[Ivory]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think

He DOES NOT want to chat to dem...it is YOU that catch his attention...

[Compry]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ivoree</div><div class="ubbcode-body">He DOES NOT want to chat to dem...it is YOU that catch his attention... </div></div>

You are not helping. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smirk.gif[/img]

What would you do dearest Ivoree? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70459-hugs.gif[/img]

[Ivory]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think

You must ask... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img] Knowing that he wasn't home and in the car...I would call the house and ask for him...way I see it...what's in the dark must come to light... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

on another note...Shopping on the next side Friday? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/yahoo.gif[/img]

[Compry]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think

Working from home on Friday and are you nuts??? Cross the border this weekend???? Nope.

[Ivory]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think

All part of the excitement...oh the sales... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/breakdance.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/breakdance.gif[/img]

pls stop derailing this thread.. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Nylah]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think



but if he is talking about his home life then that would include his wife and that wouldnt be good for her to overheard, right? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70374-lipsrsealed.gif[/img]

so, chatting about how he is unhappy and prehaps down the road, how his wife is not satisfying him in whatever form that might take, is to buy your sympathy. When he thinks that he has it then he will make his "move" on you. He will have convinced you his wife is a worthless woman who doesnt appreciate what a good man she has and you will be the one to rescue him from his gloom.

He will declared undying love to you because u are the only one who understands him but he will never leave his wife because what would the congreation think? or the kids? or God?

You will be second place in his life forever until you find the strength to break away from this soul destroying man but will forever regret the time you wasted on this man.

How's that for online analysis? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

answer to your question - yes u have a DearK problem and cut if off at the knees right now.

[DearK]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think

It may be safer to talk to someone far removed from the situation and the vicinity... if he shares being unhappy in the marriage, or doubts about himself (ergo not a goood pastor) to someone far away, it's less likely to get back to the wife, or other members of hte congregation. Did I get it wrong? Is he only visiting Texas, and doesn't live there?

I's also suggest his talking to a senior pastor.

[UKBlackLady]

Re: I have a DearK problem - I think

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Compry</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">ask him directly what the deal is.. cause that does sound a bit dishonest </div></div>

Mi nuh want give him an open fi mek him tink mi tinking too much bout it. </div></div>

I agree totally with Kia.

Why wouldn't you want him to know you have given it thought? He'd then be aware that you are on the ball and he will have difficulty trying to pull the wool over your eyes. No? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/bubble.gif[/img]

Explain to him that you are unsure why he is coming to you with these issues/problems and get him to explain himself. If what he has to say doesn't sound right, nip it in the bud; suggest he try speaking with Brother So and So, Elder Wassit wassit or Missionary (dem still have missionary ah cherch?) whatevah whatevah as you feel they would be better placed to assist him. Ah sum mi seet anyway [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/cool.gif[/img]

Mek 'im gwaarn sounds to me like a distant lovah 'im ah look... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img]