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Wives really ARE the glue that hold marriages together: Those who calm down quickly after arguments have the best relationships
Marriages in which wives quickly calmed down during disputes were ultimately shown to be the happiest, both in the short and long run
But how well a husband kept his emotions in check had little or no effect on long-term marital satisfaction, say the UC Berkeley researchers
Their nagging is often blamed as the source of many a row. But wives do in fact hold the key to wedded bliss, researchers say.
A new study has found that that, when it comes to keeping the peace, it is more important for wives to calm down after a heated argument than their husbands.
The research, from the University of California, Berkeley, found that while both spouses were equally able to cool down during conflicts, how well a husband kept his emotions in check had little or no effect on long-term marital satisfaction.
'When it comes to managing negative emotion during conflict, wives really matter,' said the study's lead author, psychologist Lian Bloch.
She and her fellow researchers at UC Berkeley and Northwestern University analysed videotaped interactions of more than 80 middle-aged and older heterosexual couples, focusing on how they recovered from disagreements.
Time and again, they found that marriages in which wives quickly calmed down during disputes were ultimately shown to be the happiest, both in the short and long run,
'Emotions such as anger and contempt can seem very threatening for couples. But our study suggests that if spouses, especially wives, are able to calm themselves, their marriages can continue to thrive,' Bloch said.
While it is commonly held that women play the role of peacemaker in relationships, the study is among the first to reveal this pattern over a long period of time, the researchers say.
And the best way to get over a row? When women used 'constructive communication' to temper disagreements.
'When wives discuss problems and suggest solutions, it helps couples deal with conflicts,' said UC Berkeley psychologist Robert W. Levenson, senior author of the study.
'Ironically, this may not work so well for husbands, who wives often criticise for leaping into problem-solving mode too quickly.'
The researchers noted that age may also play a role in how couples interact when conflicts arise.
'The middle-aged and older couples in our study grew up in a world that treated men and women very differently,' they said. It will be interesting to see how these gender dynamics play out in younger couples.'
The research is published in the journal Emotion.
Marriages in which wives quickly calmed down during disputes were ultimately shown to be the happiest, both in the short and long run
But how well a husband kept his emotions in check had little or no effect on long-term marital satisfaction, say the UC Berkeley researchers
Their nagging is often blamed as the source of many a row. But wives do in fact hold the key to wedded bliss, researchers say.
A new study has found that that, when it comes to keeping the peace, it is more important for wives to calm down after a heated argument than their husbands.
The research, from the University of California, Berkeley, found that while both spouses were equally able to cool down during conflicts, how well a husband kept his emotions in check had little or no effect on long-term marital satisfaction.
'When it comes to managing negative emotion during conflict, wives really matter,' said the study's lead author, psychologist Lian Bloch.
She and her fellow researchers at UC Berkeley and Northwestern University analysed videotaped interactions of more than 80 middle-aged and older heterosexual couples, focusing on how they recovered from disagreements.
Time and again, they found that marriages in which wives quickly calmed down during disputes were ultimately shown to be the happiest, both in the short and long run,
'Emotions such as anger and contempt can seem very threatening for couples. But our study suggests that if spouses, especially wives, are able to calm themselves, their marriages can continue to thrive,' Bloch said.
While it is commonly held that women play the role of peacemaker in relationships, the study is among the first to reveal this pattern over a long period of time, the researchers say.
And the best way to get over a row? When women used 'constructive communication' to temper disagreements.
'When wives discuss problems and suggest solutions, it helps couples deal with conflicts,' said UC Berkeley psychologist Robert W. Levenson, senior author of the study.
'Ironically, this may not work so well for husbands, who wives often criticise for leaping into problem-solving mode too quickly.'
The researchers noted that age may also play a role in how couples interact when conflicts arise.
'The middle-aged and older couples in our study grew up in a world that treated men and women very differently,' they said. It will be interesting to see how these gender dynamics play out in younger couples.'
The research is published in the journal Emotion.
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