wifee material ar natt

[blugiant]

Re: wifee material ar natt

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Donnika</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
lemme ask u something, if you existed in the period before "the feminist movement" [for biggaview]where women had to depend on husbands for their livlihood you would be a bachelor like you are now, eh?
Would it surprise you if someone told you that her husband preferred if she stayed at home while he took care financially? (Although I beleive Kia said something along those lines prior to your post.)
maybe you are just one of those limited men(both ambition-wise and financial-wise) who need money to be added to yours.

But let me ask you since you seem to not recognize that YOU must bring something to the marital table. Or at any rate, that's the impression I'm getting. So here goes, Why should a woman marry you? What value do YOU add? </div></div>

doan figgit moas blakk oomen use fii wukk either outside da home ar farminn ting. feminist argument doan applie too blakk oomen soo readillee. yu knoo moas feminists wood agree widd mii dat oomen wey wukk ave more value dan oomen wey doan wukk cah itt ease da money issues

sum men doan mind mininn ann buy inn dem oomen evereting cah itt give wifee less chatt. wat a ting wen wifee wey nah wukk cumplain bout marital money

ann afflunent value system iss watt mii bring

[niceniss]

Re: wifee material ar natt

what, is only one part a di post yuh see? me naw go get into it wid u bout history of feminist movement and black women etc, me ask WHAT VALUE DO YOU BRING TO THE MARITAL TABLE. WHY SHOULD A WOMAN(one whey work)MARRY YOU?

saying "an affluent value system is what me bring" is gibberish to me so come clear and SPECIFIC.

[julie*mango]

Re: wifee material ar natt

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DearJohn</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Depends on what a person may be looking for. One guy may find that he wants a homely girl to bring hhome to mother, while another may be looking for someone who can whip-it, flip-it, lick-it, and stick-it (...in the oven), [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/blush.gif[/img] when it comes to taking care of wifely things for her husband's......dietary needs around the home. </div></div>


I are shacked! [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img]

[niceniss]

Re: wifee material ar natt

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: blugiant</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
yu miss da pint ere. oomen wey look fii man fii mind dem ann buy dem everee ting iss bout impoverish value system. itt dem oomen woo lack ambition ann doan waan fii acquire more. itt like wen da minister chatt bout richer ar poorer. wifee material affii ave enriched da marriage by wukkinn ann cumminn oome widd sintinn fii add to da man money </div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70392-silly.gif[/img]

You think the vows 'for richer or poorer' is referring only to material wealth???? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/whatever.gif[/img]

If both parties are happy with her staying home and him bringing home the bacon so to speak - why would you think their union is unequal??? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img]

My husband would love for me to stay home while he works secularly. During our marriage, I have stayed home for stretches and its usually boredom that drives me back to the work place.

However, when I am at home, not working secularly, and he's paying for <u>everything</u> - do you think I'm just existing then? That I have no more value to the relationship than the dollar I should be bringing in??? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/confused.gif[/img]

You know that normally I don't engage you in conversation, cause I find most discourses with you to be too circuitous and sense-defying. But this time I'ma try to get you to see that the value of a wife or 'wife material' is not solely based on how much money she can/will bring home.

If a man, in trying to determine if a woman is wife material, crosses her off the list just because her material income is little or nothing, he's a fool. And he could quite possibly be robbing himself and his family of a phenomenal asset. Cause make no mistake, a woman is worth far more, far, far more than the dollar she chooses to bring to the table.

I, though I don't always work outside the house, have always been an asset. Ya betta recanize... [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70400-talktohand.gif[/img] </div></div>

you know di problem wid people, nuffa dem so caught up in demselves dem tink dem ish can mek patty so all dem do is walk roun wid long list bout what other ppl fi bring to the table.

me take a look at myself fi see what me can add but me naw give give give to such a smaddy. tings go both ways. problem is ppl like blugiant cyaan see beyond dem nose fi recognize dat.

[Nylah]

Re: wifee material ar natt

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BIGGAHVIEW.</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Donnika</div><div class="ubbcode-body">notice datta blugiant me respon to? u no see fi u version of wife is a homemaker while blugiant's is smaddy him can be cheap wid. me never see u complain bout spending so me naw go assume u cheap but me aggo ask u the value u bring to the marital table.
what do u think makes u an excellent husband? </div></div>

Mi see mi name in deh so mi haffi jump in [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/proud_jamaica.gif[/img]

To answer yu question, to me I beleive in being Married once. I will never get Married ever again. So with that type of belief I have to ensure that I choose carefully. What makes an excellent Husband I have no idea. How can I be excellent for my wife if I can reach such a level. Stay true to my vows. I will protect my family at what ever cost. As long as I can still makes my wife laugh and smile like we just met its all good. Money, responsibilites and all the economics that a family needs to sustain in this world or soceity is my responsibility. If my wife deside she wants to not work thats all good.

If there is any changes need to be made in our housewhole to make both of us happy we make it happen. What ever I can do to make my mate happy thats what I'll do. If she thinks the same then you have a Marriage thats healthy.

All the little trivials is nothing but distrations that makes it even harder. </div></div>


not that i wanted to wade back into this conversation cause... just cause [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

i am sticking with Biggah on this one, so brag away my friend.

everything isnt about money Blu. To say that all blakk women work outside the home isnt true. Nor is there a diminishing of the family unit if a woman does.

i can only use my experience....my dad didnt want my mom to work outside the home. He wanted her to stay home and raise decent children. He was more than willng to be the sole breadwinner adn this is even after they separated.

like others mentioned here, out of boredom, mom eventually went to work when i was older. But u think that my brother didnt benefit from having a mom at home? I got someone to take me to school; i could come home at lunch time and have a hot meal and watch the Flintstones; if there was a problem at school, i had a parent that could be there in 5 mins to resolve it.

Most ppl envy that. We grew up to be reasonably decent ppl for it [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img] and we didnt suffer financially as kids for it either. Ppl make choices according to their values. And if a man values his family unit in a certain manner whereby BOTH parties decide to make the decision that one stays home to keep the home front tight then u cant say a woman has no contributory value.

i have post-secondary education, my own business, etc. but if I get married, I hope that it will be in both our best interest for me to stay home. My family will become the most important thing to me - raising decent, semi well-adjusted children [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img] is more important that have the latest flat screen TV.

besides if u are a good mate and have your man's back, men like Biggah can go out in the world make a good living to look after the family unit and no one suffers any less for it.

alright, whoever wants to start the fiyah bunnin go right ahead. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Nunya]

Re: wifee material ar natt

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Donnika</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
you know di problem wid people, nuffa dem so caught up in demselves dem tink dem ish can mek patty so all dem do is walk roun wid long list bout what other ppl fi bring to the table.</div></div>

I've known people like that. One in particular, had an actual list of what her Mr Right should be bringing. Because she was very attractive (a former Ms Jamaica contestant) and reasonably well educated, she figured she was the full package. She wanted the full package in return (which was her right) but her full package included that he had to be making x amount a dolla.

At least two very good men she pass up pon, cause dem neva meet dat particular criteria.

Now, neahly 20 years later, she alone (which, if anyone had told her 20 years ago that she would be staring at '08 alone she would have laughed them to scorn) and childless - and this I know hurts her most - cause she's always wanted children.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">me take a look at myself fi see what me can add but me naw give give give to such a smaddy. tings go both ways. problem is ppl like blugiant cyaan see beyond dem nose fi recognize dat. </div></div>

And there it is. If we know our worth, we wont need a man or anyone else for that matter to define our worth. What we, as women, can bring to a relationship is invaluable. And if a man is just focused on the dollar bottom line, then he aint nuthin but a gold digger.

[Stormmey]

Re: wifee material ar natt

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Empress_Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BIGGAHVIEW.</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Donnika</div><div class="ubbcode-body">notice datta blugiant me respon to? u no see fi u version of wife is a homemaker while blugiant's is smaddy him can be cheap wid. me never see u complain bout spending so me naw go assume u cheap but me aggo ask u the value u bring to the marital table.
what do u think makes u an excellent husband? </div></div>

Mi see mi name in deh so mi haffi jump in [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/proud_jamaica.gif[/img]

To answer yu question, to me I beleive in being Married once. I will never get Married ever again. So with that type of belief I have to ensure that I choose carefully. What makes an excellent Husband I have no idea. How can I be excellent for my wife if I can reach such a level. Stay true to my vows. I will protect my family at what ever cost. As long as I can still makes my wife laugh and smile like we just met its all good. Money, responsibilites and all the economics that a family needs to sustain in this world or soceity is my responsibility. If my wife deside she wants to not work thats all good.

If there is any changes need to be made in our housewhole to make both of us happy we make it happen. What ever I can do to make my mate happy thats what I'll do. If she thinks the same then you have a Marriage thats healthy.

All the little trivials is nothing but distrations that makes it even harder. </div></div>


not that i wanted to wade back into this conversation cause... just cause [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

i am sticking with Biggah on this one, so brag away my friend.

everything isnt about money Blu. To say that all blakk women work outside the home isnt true. Nor is there a diminishing of the family unit if a woman does.

i can only use my experience....my dad didnt want my mom to work outside the home. He wanted her to stay home and raise decent children. He was more than willng to be the sole breadwinner adn this is even after they separated.

like others mentioned here, out of boredom, mom eventually went to work when i was older. But u think that my brother didnt benefit from having a mom at home? I got someone to take me to school; i could come home at lunch time and have a hot meal and watch the Flintstones; if there was a problem at school, i had a parent that could be there in 5 mins to resolve it.

Most ppl envy that. We grew up to be reasonably decent ppl for it [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img] and we didnt suffer financially as kids for it either. Ppl make choices according to their values. And if a man values his family unit in a certain manner whereby BOTH parties decide to make the decision that one stays home to keep the home front tight then u cant say a woman has no contributory value.

i have post-secondary education, my own business, etc. but if I get married, I hope that it will be in both our best interest for me to stay home. My family will become the most important thing to me - raising decent, semi well-adjusted children [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img] is more important that have the latest flat screen TV.

besides if u are a good mate and have your man's back, men like Biggah can go out in the world make a good living to look after the family unit and no one suffers any less for it.

alright, whoever wants to start the fiyah bunnin go right ahead. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] </div></div>

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/notworthy.gif[/img] so true Nylah money isn't every thing. I had all the material trapping growing up as a kid, but know what outside of my Granpa I had no love. Maybe that is one of the reason I do not want kids or have a desire to get married [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70394-bawlout.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crybaby.gif[/img] and I find myself being so materialistic [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70361-embarassed.gif[/img]

[niceniss]

Re: wifee material ar natt

invaluable. u rearing his seed, providing his comfort(sex, food etc), nursing him when ill, friend and companion through thick and thin, being an adviser etc.

aye sah...

[bigbooie]

Re: wifee material ar natt

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Donnika</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yuh an Xks, unnoo sometimes a little braggy, but unnoo are go-getters and responsible. me like dat bout unnoo and proud a unnoo as Jamaican black men. di fiesty ting notwithstanding... </div></div>

Don't know whe di Braggy ting come in but if yu seh so. Thanx fi di compliment.

[bigbooie]

Re: wifee material ar natt

"Most ppl envy that. We grew up to be reasonably decent ppl for it and we didnt suffer financially as kids for it either. Ppl make choices according to their values. And if a man values his family unit in a certain manner whereby BOTH parties decide to make the decision that one stays home to keep the home front tight then u cant say a woman has no contributory value.

i have post-secondary education, my own business, etc. but if I get married, I hope that it will be in both our best interest for me to stay home. My family will become the most important thing to me - raising decent, semi well-adjusted children is more important that have the latest flat screen TV."

Your like a breath of fresh air. Could not of say it any better..what have come to when men no longer know what family is all about much less Marrige.

Marriage is all about the other person. Imagine if both mates think that way. I've grew up in the ruffest of ways and I'm glad I witness this with my aunt and unlce god bless dem soul.

[Nylah]

Re: wifee material ar natt

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BIGGAHVIEW.</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Donnika</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yuh an Xks, unnoo sometimes a little braggy, but unnoo are go-getters and responsible. me like dat bout unnoo and proud a unnoo as Jamaican black men. di fiesty ting notwithstanding... </div></div>

Don't know whe di Braggy ting come in but if yu seh so. Thanx fi di compliment. </div></div>

take it as a compliment - more men need to be braggy, braggy like u and xKs.

[Nunya]

Re: wifee material ar natt

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BIGGAHVIEW.</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Marriage is all about the other person. Imagine if both mates think that way. </div></div>

I like that.

[kia027]

Re: wifee material ar natt

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BIGGAHVIEW.</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Marriage is all about the other person. Imagine if both mates think that way. </div></div>

I like that. </div></div>

Yep.. Marriage is a union if each party saw it as about the other person as well ,many more marriages would stay together

[Nylah]

Re: wifee material ar natt

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BIGGAHVIEW.</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Marriage is all about the other person. Imagine if both mates think that way. </div></div>

I like that. </div></div>

Yep.. Marriage is a union if each party saw it as about the other person as well ,many more marriages would stay together </div></div>


[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]

[Shine_Eye_Girl]

Re: wifee material ar natt

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BIGGAHVIEW.</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Donnika</div><div class="ubbcode-body">notice datta blugiant me respon to? u no see fi u version of wife is a homemaker while blugiant's is smaddy him can be cheap wid. me never see u complain bout spending so me naw go assume u cheap but me aggo ask u the value u bring to the marital table.
what do u think makes u an excellent husband? </div></div>

Mi see mi name in deh so mi haffi jump in [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/proud_jamaica.gif[/img]

To answer yu question, to me I beleive in being Married once. I will never get Married ever again. So with that type of belief I have to ensure that I choose carefully. What makes an excellent Husband I have no idea. How can I be excellent for my wife if I can reach such a level. Stay true to my vows. I will protect my family at what ever cost. As long as I can still makes my wife laugh and smile like we just met its all good. Money, responsibilites and all the economics that a family needs to sustain in this world or soceity is my responsibility. If my wife deside she wants to not work thats all good.

If there is any changes need to be made in our housewhole to make both of us happy we make it happen. What ever I can do to make my mate happy thats what I'll do. If she thinks the same then you have a Marriage thats healthy.

All the little trivials is nothing but distrations that makes it even harder. </div></div>

Well said [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]