Taking a second wife

[Magician]

Re: Taking a second wife

It is part of the Muslim culture that a man can't take another wife unless

1. He can afford her
2. The other wife(s) agree

But there are exceptions that don't follow tradition.

[CeaBee]

Re: Taking a second wife

that leads me to wonder, *why* the other wives would ever approve a second, or third wife.

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]

[Magician]

Re: Taking a second wife

Caw if di man waan 5 pickney.. dem share di load.

If di man waan..ahem.. company a nite time when "Sex in the City" is on.. dem tek turns.

If di wife tiyad a drive fi her Benz.. she can borrow di next wife Beema.

If di man madda come fi check dem.. di 'junior' wife affi deal wid her.

If dem waan go a mall.. dem have smaddy fi gossip wid an nuh affi drag di man who nuh waan go.

If dem affi decide on sintin round di house.. 4-1 majority always wins.

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img]

[sistacaf]

Re: Taking a second wife

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I'm guessing he means the first wife's *ehem* didnt snap back into place as much as he would have liked after the baby..... </div></div>

selfish pig. only cares about him pengy and his own pleasure.

and of course that is 'legitimized' by being couched under the heading of 'religion'. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] FEH. what a load ah shyte.

[CeaBee]

Re: Taking a second wife

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Magic</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Caw if di man waan 5 pickney.. dem share di load- housekeeper, nanny

If di man waan..ahem.. company a nite time when "Sex in the City" is on.. dem tek turns- tape it and watch it later

If di wife tiyad a drive fi her Benz.. she can borrow di next wife Beema.- [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70456-eyebrows.gif[/img]

If di man madda come fi check dem.. di 'junior' wife affi deal wid her. - ok that one sound valid [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

If dem waan go a mall.. dem have smaddy fi gossip wid an nuh affi drag di man who nuh waan go. - have one or two friend

If dem affi decide on sintin round di house.. 4-1 majority always wins. - the colour of the living room, not ALL that important
[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] </div></div>

is it that the women are raised in that culture, so it's the norm? or is it a case that they KNOW that the husband will bring home another wife anyway, so the the permission aspect is simply a way of having some degree of control?

[Boopie2]

Re: Taking a second wife

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Magic</div><div class="ubbcode-body">That's unusual that the wives won't be living in the same house. Usually they do.

And by the way, the first wife has to approve the second wife, and then the two wives must approve the 3rd and so on and so forth. They may not have a lot of power in public, but at home they rule the house.

</div></div>


This is what he told me, no the 2 wives won't be living in the same house. He will buy a separate place for her to live. His first wife is Filipino and Catholic and doesn't wear muslim clothing. She bulked at the idea of him getting another wife, but maybe he convinced her otherwise. The second wife to be is Muslim wears their attire I have asked him several questions cause the whole thing seems quite odd to me. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] But I don't know anything about his faith and religion so there goes. He is trying to teach me some things if I'm interested. But yet again he's attracted to Black women, so why not try to find one? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: Taking a second wife

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sistacaf</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I'm guessing he means the first wife's *ehem* didnt snap back into place as much as he would have liked after the baby..... </div></div>

selfish pig. only cares about him pengy and his own pleasure. </div></div>

Actually he's not a pig. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] You are looking through his cultures eyes.

[Magician]

Re: Taking a second wife

Ahh Boopie luv..
Dis ya wedding yuh going to inna Dubai dis summa..
..you sure seh yuh nuh gwine be INNA di wedding? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] An when mi seh INNA di wedding, mi really mean INNA it. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70390-shhh.gif[/img]

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img]

[Magician]

Re: Taking a second wife

Cools the 4 wife ting is a 'maximum allowance'. In this day and age the people that are my age and in their 30's that I've met only have one wife. Dem tell mi di wedding too expansive and then it too much money fi keep alla di wife dem.

Plus mi hear seh if yuh buy a diamond ring to first wife, yuh betta fi get one fi alla dem so it nuh really worth it.

Boopie fi yu friend nuh flex like an 'Emirati'.
Which pawt im come from?

[Boopie2]

Re: Taking a second wife

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Magic</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Caw if di man waan 5 pickney.. dem share di load.

If di man waan..ahem.. company a nite time when "Sex in the City" is on.. dem tek turns.

If di wife tiyad a drive fi her Benz.. she can borrow di next wife Beema.

If di man madda come fi check dem.. di 'junior' wife affi deal wid her.

If dem waan go a mall.. dem have smaddy fi gossip wid an nuh affi drag di man who nuh waan go.

If dem affi decide on sintin round di house.. 4-1 majority always wins.

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70409-waytogo.gif[/img] </div></div>


[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

He also said his wives can't wear revealing clothing, no tight anything they have to wear sleeves to their elbows. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] They are not allowed to have any male friends what so ever. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] They just can't go willy nilly free, if they want to go somewhere he has to be informed first and has to agree with it. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img]

So I asked him ok, say we are married I am the second wife you are with the first one how will you know just what me as the second wife is doing? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] He said it all boils down to trust, if they didn't agree to the situation in the first place why agree to marriage?

So I asked, ok suppose she went out just for fun you found out then what. He said that that was grounds for a divorce cause he doesn't play that. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img]

So then I ask, well she can't work according to you so what is she suppose to do all day? He said she could read, watch TV or ask him if she could go out with the women friends that are married somewhere. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: Taking a second wife

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Magic</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Ahh Boopie luv..
Dis ya wedding yuh going to inna Dubai dis summa..
..you sure seh yuh nuh gwine be INNA di wedding? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img] An when mi seh INNA di wedding, mi really mean INNA it. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70390-shhh.gif[/img]

[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif[/img] </div></div>


[img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] One of my friends was saying the same thing, we had both watched this movie called "Not without My daughter" the story was about this American lady "played by Sally Fields" she had married this Muslim doctor and they had a daughter. Well he was nice nice in the States, I think the child was 4 or 5 anyway he convinced her that they should go to his country for a visit. Lord, when they got their with all the customs and things she had to cover her face and hair do this and do that. Well she started talking about she wanted to come home.

He took all of their passports and ID, and slapped her one good time telling her they weren't going anywhere they were going to live there. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] Then he told her she could go but under Muslim law she would have to leave the daughter. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] Anyway it took them hell to get out of there, some underground people helped them. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/eek2.gif[/img] It was based on a true story too.

I don't think so we were close friends, the no working part did sound good though. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[sistacaf]

Re: Taking a second wife

yes boopie, you're right. and the story behind that movie is true. some people put up a big outcry that it was 'unfair' to paint a picture of the culture that way but shyte - it was TRUE. I say too dam bad if the truth hurts, and the rest of the world gets to see how it REALLY is. -- for some people. Of course it's not this way for 'all' people of any specific culture - but those who do have that mindset still exist even in our 'modern' times, and still think it is perfectly normal to treat women this way.

For those who do believe it, the entire background structure of the culture attempts to legitimize the chattelization of women by putting it under the heading of 'religion'. It puts forth the idea that a man's momentaary pleasure is more important thananything else in life. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Even if he's very nice and polite in social situations, a person who feels this is the normal way 'marriage' is supposed to be, is, to me, a selfish pig. IMO it's the mindset itself that's egotistical, disrespectful, and demeaning to women.

A person who thinks like this does not 'love' his woman, or women in general. They're just vehicles for his own pleasure, to be tossed aside if they cannot serve that purpose, even if it's only temporary. He can just go get another one off the shelf.

please. He's not interested in the true give-and-take of a marriage, or in lifting up and supporting his woman, or considering what she may want or need....he's just a horny teenager in a grown man's body, and the entire cultural mindset supports that. It asserts that a woman is inferior, and exists solely to cater to what the man wants - no matter how unfair it is to the woman. And the culture deems that mindset as perfectly normal.

To me, that kind of mentality is a pig no matter how yuh slice it.

[Magician]

Re: Taking a second wife

What country is your friend from Boopie? [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/70402-thinking.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: Taking a second wife

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Magic</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Cools the 4 wife ting is a 'maximum allowance'. In this day and age the people that are my age and in their 30's that I've met only have one wife. Dem tell mi di wedding too expansive and then it too much money fi keep alla di wife dem.

Plus mi hear seh if yuh buy a diamond ring to first wife, yuh betta fi get one fi alla dem so it nuh really worth it.

Boopie fi yu friend nuh flex like an 'Emirati'.
Which pawt im come from? </div></div>


When I met him here I thought he was from Ethiopia, he's fair skinned tall and very handsome,dresses nice and things. He's from Sudan so I have no idea what tribe he's from. He is very shy and doesn't believe in having a whole lot of women when he was here. He also picked up the habit of smoking cigarettes and drinking on occassions, but he says when he goes home he can't do any of that type of thing. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

Which will seem funny cause that's how I met him smoking outside on his job," my apartment was down a half a block from his job. My car was in the shop so I was walking down to the subway to get to work, he caught me coming home from work and we just started hanging out together. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/desdentado.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: Taking a second wife

Al righty then. [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/704555_dwl.gif[/img]