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“SOMETHING NEW” ISN’T NECESSARILY SOMETHING GOOD
By Clare X. Brown
Since the release of the film Something New, (featuring a black female/ white male interracial relationship) there has been a major effort in the blogosphere to similarly encourage black women to pursue relationships with white men. While the film clearly promotes black female interracial relationships, the blogs take this promotion to a whole new level. Their basic argument is that white men are the answer to all black women’s problems and make it seem as if white men can do no wrong. I find it all rather cringe worthy. But in particular, I always wonder whether any of these women ever consider why - in a white supremacist society - would white men choose black women as partners. Why would people who have historically enslaved another people now want to be in relationships with them? Why would men who defiled and denigrated black women now consider marrying them?
I am sorry but I do not buy the “love is colorblind” nonsense. We live in a color conscious society and the truth is that color does indeed drive interracial relationships - more than the “Something New” brigade are willing to admit. Indeed, some of the worst racists out there are those who are in relationships with black people! Take the case of “Janet” (pseudonym), my Black South African acquaintance, whose white English partner (of thirty years) disliked her bringing black friends to their home. Even more shocking is the autobiographical essay of a mixed race woman who revealed that her white father referred to her mother and siblings as “niggers” when he was angry. So no, no, no - having a black girlfriend or wife does not make someone a non-racist!
Why - I hear you ask - would people who are as racist as this actually seek out a black person? Why would they go through the hassle of taking a black partner? I strongly suspect that in many cases “interracially-inclined” men feel particularly comfortable in relationships with “out-group” women who have a lower status in society. For some, it may be the need to feel special and important in relation to their low status partner; for others, the driving factor is perhaps very low self-esteem in the sense that they simply do not feel secure in relationships with women of their own status (in white supremacist society).
I also wonder whether the black women who are raving about white men ever stop to reflect on the reality of having a white partner. Do they ever consider that their partner will in no way appreciate what it means to be black in this society? Do they realize that he will never truly understand all the crap they have to go through. Additionally, the white boyfriend/ husband is very likely to expose his black partner to increased racism (through racist family and friends).
I appreciate that there is a shortage of upper-middle class black men, and understand that some black women prefer interracial dating over dating a “lower-class” brother. I just hope that those black women who are undecided on this issue will do some serious thinking.
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By Clare X. Brown
Since the release of the film Something New, (featuring a black female/ white male interracial relationship) there has been a major effort in the blogosphere to similarly encourage black women to pursue relationships with white men. While the film clearly promotes black female interracial relationships, the blogs take this promotion to a whole new level. Their basic argument is that white men are the answer to all black women’s problems and make it seem as if white men can do no wrong. I find it all rather cringe worthy. But in particular, I always wonder whether any of these women ever consider why - in a white supremacist society - would white men choose black women as partners. Why would people who have historically enslaved another people now want to be in relationships with them? Why would men who defiled and denigrated black women now consider marrying them?
I am sorry but I do not buy the “love is colorblind” nonsense. We live in a color conscious society and the truth is that color does indeed drive interracial relationships - more than the “Something New” brigade are willing to admit. Indeed, some of the worst racists out there are those who are in relationships with black people! Take the case of “Janet” (pseudonym), my Black South African acquaintance, whose white English partner (of thirty years) disliked her bringing black friends to their home. Even more shocking is the autobiographical essay of a mixed race woman who revealed that her white father referred to her mother and siblings as “niggers” when he was angry. So no, no, no - having a black girlfriend or wife does not make someone a non-racist!
Why - I hear you ask - would people who are as racist as this actually seek out a black person? Why would they go through the hassle of taking a black partner? I strongly suspect that in many cases “interracially-inclined” men feel particularly comfortable in relationships with “out-group” women who have a lower status in society. For some, it may be the need to feel special and important in relation to their low status partner; for others, the driving factor is perhaps very low self-esteem in the sense that they simply do not feel secure in relationships with women of their own status (in white supremacist society).
I also wonder whether the black women who are raving about white men ever stop to reflect on the reality of having a white partner. Do they ever consider that their partner will in no way appreciate what it means to be black in this society? Do they realize that he will never truly understand all the crap they have to go through. Additionally, the white boyfriend/ husband is very likely to expose his black partner to increased racism (through racist family and friends).
I appreciate that there is a shortage of upper-middle class black men, and understand that some black women prefer interracial dating over dating a “lower-class” brother. I just hope that those black women who are undecided on this issue will do some serious thinking.
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