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Lecei Wright
Daring to reveal the truth about bisexuality in the church
By INGRID BROWN all woman writer
Monday, April 07, 2008
WHEN Lecei Wright married the man of her dreams, a music minister in her church, she expected to live with him happily forever and to raise their children in the strong Christian principle, she had committed to at the young age of seven.
WRIGHT...I thought I needed to address the leaders in the church (Photo: Bryan Cummings)
But as ready as she was to deal with all the intricacies of marriage, nothing could have prepared her for learning the shocking truth, that her husband had not only left their marriage bed, but had done so to engage in sexual activities with a man.
"I was in denial for the fact that I saw my husband kissing this man. I would leave out of town and these men would answer my phone and be in my bed, but I stayed in the marriage and that was only after five years of being married," said Wright, an African American who has now made Jamaica her home.
That was 13 years ago, and even though her husband died after contracting AIDS, it took several years for Wright to get over this devastation.
Today as she thanks God for that healing which she said only came through her relationship with Jesus Christ, Wright says she wants to ensure that other women do not fall prey to this situation and also that leaders in the churches who are engaging in this practice can find a way out before it destroys their marriages, families and eventually their lives.
Through her first book, Man's Best Kept Secret in the Church - On the down low very down low which she said took over 10 years to be completed, Wright said she was willing to bare it all if it meant that the church would begin to address this issue which it has been silent on for far too long.
"I remember four days before his death, Bob called me and said.
"Elisecia I just called to hear your voice, and I wish you were here with me. I had love all the time and I never recognised until now. Do you love me?"
I answered, "I do. I really never stopped."
He said, "If I was going to live I would remarry you."
These gripping words written in the pages of this book are as real today to Wright as when they were first spoken, especially after learning that there were other women going through similar things.
Wright, who has been living in Jamaica for the past 13 years, said she discovered while researching material for the book, that bisexuality while not as prevalent here as in the United States, had found its way into the Jamaican churches and also among its leadership.
She explains that since the book came out persons here in Jamaica have been asking to get hold of copies so they can give it to someone.
"Recently I have been talking to different people and they say, "I know someone here in Jamaica who is going through this", and so this tells me that there is really a need for this book here," Wright tells all woman.
"After I got over what I was going through I said I know I am not the only one and I say what I say about the church because it is a very quiet place for these kinds of issues," she said.
She said after hearing several horror stories about pastors in the United States who had been beaten up because they were bisexuals and their wives didn't know it, and then finding out that this practice though minuscule, was happening right here in Jamaica, she was motivated to write the book.
"I thought I needed to address the leaders in the church because they are really hiding because they have no one to share with because it is such a sensitive subject. I said I would do it and start a trend for the transparency so that people can be healed and leaders can be set free so they can lead their congregation in a very appropriate way," she says.
Despite the criticism that this book might attract, Wright is prepared to touch the subject and bare it all if it means others can be helped.
"I am prepared to do it at all costs because I believe in the crucified life, because if Christ suffers I shall suffer so that I can reign with Him," she said.
The book, she is hoping, will reach the hands of pastors, counsellors, leaders, and sociology departments so they can use it as a resource guide to better help their congregation members who are hurting from this.
"I believe it will open the eyes of persons in the church and outside to help them to know what they are dealing with especially in Jamaica, where we are trying to avoid this thing from becoming huge," she said.
She said church leaders should also take preventative measures and to find out if there are such issues in their congregation. "Open up the topic for discussion and find out if there is anyone who is struggling with what we have read in this book and then put together a counselling structure for qualified persons to work with these people because you cannot just leave them there suffering and in pain," she said.
The impact then, she said, is going to be a healing and restoration in marriages that are broken.
The book also looks at how the children of such unions are affected and it tells how to work through the process. Even now she says her daughter from that union has been affected by the experience which she said was very painful and very difficult. "She suffers today because of this thing," Wright said.
Now that she has written the book, Wright said it brought understanding to her children why she was a tough mother, why she was suffering and struggling and why she thought the way she did or said the things she said.
"I give spiritual response and practical response in the book so it helps both the offender and the offendee; and what are some of the questions someone living this lifestyle would ask; and what are the questions that a wife would have if she was married to man who is bisexual and what are the solutions and healing process," she explained.
The book, which will be officially launched on May 9, is available at Streams in the Desert bookstore in Kingston.
Wright, a former professional back up vocalist for music icons such as Stevie Nicks, Stevie Wonders and Tracey Chapman, said 13 years ago she felt led to come to Jamaica to attend theology college here. Having never been to Jamaica she packed up all and started out on this adventure.
"When I told my family my father wanted to know what would cause me to leave the US, was it a man? And the only thing I could say was God said to go," she said.
She later learnt when she got to Florida that she needed to have a return ticket for herself and her daughter to visit the island since she was not a resident. With only US$50 to her name she had no idea what next to do.
"Everything was already set up for me to live in Jamaica but I had no idea how I was going to get here then my sister called to say she just received an envelope for me from Universal Records and I say "open it", and it was a royalty cheque for the exact amount I needed for myself and my daughter's ticket," she said.
Wright, who is a member of Fellowship Tabernacle, says she has received the necessary support from her pastor who sanctioned the penning of the book.
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Daring to reveal the truth about bisexuality in the church
By INGRID BROWN all woman writer
Monday, April 07, 2008
WHEN Lecei Wright married the man of her dreams, a music minister in her church, she expected to live with him happily forever and to raise their children in the strong Christian principle, she had committed to at the young age of seven.
WRIGHT...I thought I needed to address the leaders in the church (Photo: Bryan Cummings)
But as ready as she was to deal with all the intricacies of marriage, nothing could have prepared her for learning the shocking truth, that her husband had not only left their marriage bed, but had done so to engage in sexual activities with a man.
"I was in denial for the fact that I saw my husband kissing this man. I would leave out of town and these men would answer my phone and be in my bed, but I stayed in the marriage and that was only after five years of being married," said Wright, an African American who has now made Jamaica her home.
That was 13 years ago, and even though her husband died after contracting AIDS, it took several years for Wright to get over this devastation.
Today as she thanks God for that healing which she said only came through her relationship with Jesus Christ, Wright says she wants to ensure that other women do not fall prey to this situation and also that leaders in the churches who are engaging in this practice can find a way out before it destroys their marriages, families and eventually their lives.
Through her first book, Man's Best Kept Secret in the Church - On the down low very down low which she said took over 10 years to be completed, Wright said she was willing to bare it all if it meant that the church would begin to address this issue which it has been silent on for far too long.
"I remember four days before his death, Bob called me and said.
"Elisecia I just called to hear your voice, and I wish you were here with me. I had love all the time and I never recognised until now. Do you love me?"
I answered, "I do. I really never stopped."
He said, "If I was going to live I would remarry you."
These gripping words written in the pages of this book are as real today to Wright as when they were first spoken, especially after learning that there were other women going through similar things.
Wright, who has been living in Jamaica for the past 13 years, said she discovered while researching material for the book, that bisexuality while not as prevalent here as in the United States, had found its way into the Jamaican churches and also among its leadership.
She explains that since the book came out persons here in Jamaica have been asking to get hold of copies so they can give it to someone.
"Recently I have been talking to different people and they say, "I know someone here in Jamaica who is going through this", and so this tells me that there is really a need for this book here," Wright tells all woman.
"After I got over what I was going through I said I know I am not the only one and I say what I say about the church because it is a very quiet place for these kinds of issues," she said.
She said after hearing several horror stories about pastors in the United States who had been beaten up because they were bisexuals and their wives didn't know it, and then finding out that this practice though minuscule, was happening right here in Jamaica, she was motivated to write the book.
"I thought I needed to address the leaders in the church because they are really hiding because they have no one to share with because it is such a sensitive subject. I said I would do it and start a trend for the transparency so that people can be healed and leaders can be set free so they can lead their congregation in a very appropriate way," she says.
Despite the criticism that this book might attract, Wright is prepared to touch the subject and bare it all if it means others can be helped.
"I am prepared to do it at all costs because I believe in the crucified life, because if Christ suffers I shall suffer so that I can reign with Him," she said.
The book, she is hoping, will reach the hands of pastors, counsellors, leaders, and sociology departments so they can use it as a resource guide to better help their congregation members who are hurting from this.
"I believe it will open the eyes of persons in the church and outside to help them to know what they are dealing with especially in Jamaica, where we are trying to avoid this thing from becoming huge," she said.
She said church leaders should also take preventative measures and to find out if there are such issues in their congregation. "Open up the topic for discussion and find out if there is anyone who is struggling with what we have read in this book and then put together a counselling structure for qualified persons to work with these people because you cannot just leave them there suffering and in pain," she said.
The impact then, she said, is going to be a healing and restoration in marriages that are broken.
The book also looks at how the children of such unions are affected and it tells how to work through the process. Even now she says her daughter from that union has been affected by the experience which she said was very painful and very difficult. "She suffers today because of this thing," Wright said.
Now that she has written the book, Wright said it brought understanding to her children why she was a tough mother, why she was suffering and struggling and why she thought the way she did or said the things she said.
"I give spiritual response and practical response in the book so it helps both the offender and the offendee; and what are some of the questions someone living this lifestyle would ask; and what are the questions that a wife would have if she was married to man who is bisexual and what are the solutions and healing process," she explained.
The book, which will be officially launched on May 9, is available at Streams in the Desert bookstore in Kingston.
Wright, a former professional back up vocalist for music icons such as Stevie Nicks, Stevie Wonders and Tracey Chapman, said 13 years ago she felt led to come to Jamaica to attend theology college here. Having never been to Jamaica she packed up all and started out on this adventure.
"When I told my family my father wanted to know what would cause me to leave the US, was it a man? And the only thing I could say was God said to go," she said.
She later learnt when she got to Florida that she needed to have a return ticket for herself and her daughter to visit the island since she was not a resident. With only US$50 to her name she had no idea what next to do.
"Everything was already set up for me to live in Jamaica but I had no idea how I was going to get here then my sister called to say she just received an envelope for me from Universal Records and I say "open it", and it was a royalty cheque for the exact amount I needed for myself and my daughter's ticket," she said.
Wright, who is a member of Fellowship Tabernacle, says she has received the necessary support from her pastor who sanctioned the penning of the book.
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