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IS HAIR IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO BREAK UP A MARRIAGE?
Yup some Black men talk a good game about being into natural hair but if you see who they marry or who they admire, it's a weave wearing hair hatter or some light skinned chick with hair that looks like a wash and wear relaxer...naturally.
This takes it a step further and shows the lengths to which some white minded, self-loathing Black men will go.
She’d just undergone “the big chop” and her husband hated her short, blonde Afro. He told her he wasn’t attracted to her anymore, and wanted her to get another relaxer.
At what point are you just plain unqualified to give your opinion on a subject? That’s the question I’ve been asking myself for the past week, after coming across an Instagram post from a natural hair vlogger I follow named Diggamatic.
One of her newly natural followers was seeking marital advice. She’d just undergone “the big chop” and her husband hated her short, blonde
Afro.
He told her he wasn’t attracted to her anymore, and wanted her to get another relaxer. He also isn’t a fan of weaves, so that option was out.
The advice seeker, unsure of what to do, was desperate for guidance because she loved her hair and wasn’t ready to give up on it. Not knowing what to tell her, Diggamatic posted a screen shot of the question, asking her followers their opinions.
hairdillemma.jpg
When you’re married, should you have a say when your spouse drastically changes their appearance? If you believe in forever and have decided to love this person, and only this person, for the rest of your life, shouldn’t you be allowed to gently tell them when their look isn't doing it for you anymore? Of course, it will hurt, regardless of how careful they are with your feelings, but shouldn’t they be allowed to say it?
So what is your take on this. Was the man out of order? How should the woman handle this situation?
Yup some Black men talk a good game about being into natural hair but if you see who they marry or who they admire, it's a weave wearing hair hatter or some light skinned chick with hair that looks like a wash and wear relaxer...naturally.
This takes it a step further and shows the lengths to which some white minded, self-loathing Black men will go.
She’d just undergone “the big chop” and her husband hated her short, blonde Afro. He told her he wasn’t attracted to her anymore, and wanted her to get another relaxer.
At what point are you just plain unqualified to give your opinion on a subject? That’s the question I’ve been asking myself for the past week, after coming across an Instagram post from a natural hair vlogger I follow named Diggamatic.
One of her newly natural followers was seeking marital advice. She’d just undergone “the big chop” and her husband hated her short, blonde
Afro. He told her he wasn’t attracted to her anymore, and wanted her to get another relaxer. He also isn’t a fan of weaves, so that option was out.
The advice seeker, unsure of what to do, was desperate for guidance because she loved her hair and wasn’t ready to give up on it. Not knowing what to tell her, Diggamatic posted a screen shot of the question, asking her followers their opinions.
hairdillemma.jpg
Most of the women who commented said that–though they’re single–they would either tell their husband to shut up and deal, or leave him. Some of the women advised her to compromise by straightening her hair every once in awhile. Others wondered why she was with such a man in the first place. While I read through the responses, most of their advice felt very irresponsible to me.
I understand that some of my fellow naturalistas take their hair very seriously. I get it. It’s hard work to build a hair care regimen and to embrace your natural looks when people are constantly trying to tell you your hair is innately unattractive. But is hair important enough to break up a marriage?
Maybe her husband’s real issue is that he wishes she gave her look a little variety. Maybe she hasn’t figured out a natural look that works best for her. (Heck, I look back at old pictures of my hair when I first started wearing it natural and actually cringe. My curly fro was desert-thirsty with no definition. No wonder my mother was practically running at me with a hot comb.) Maybe the reader’s husband really is being awful and shallow. There is no way any of us could draw a concrete conclusion about their marriage or his behavior from her question.
I understand that some of my fellow naturalistas take their hair very seriously. I get it. It’s hard work to build a hair care regimen and to embrace your natural looks when people are constantly trying to tell you your hair is innately unattractive. But is hair important enough to break up a marriage?
Maybe her husband’s real issue is that he wishes she gave her look a little variety. Maybe she hasn’t figured out a natural look that works best for her. (Heck, I look back at old pictures of my hair when I first started wearing it natural and actually cringe. My curly fro was desert-thirsty with no definition. No wonder my mother was practically running at me with a hot comb.) Maybe the reader’s husband really is being awful and shallow. There is no way any of us could draw a concrete conclusion about their marriage or his behavior from her question.
When you’re married, should you have a say when your spouse drastically changes their appearance? If you believe in forever and have decided to love this person, and only this person, for the rest of your life, shouldn’t you be allowed to gently tell them when their look isn't doing it for you anymore? Of course, it will hurt, regardless of how careful they are with your feelings, but shouldn’t they be allowed to say it?
Well would you break up a marriage over hair?
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