Do you hate your hair?

**Nunya** · 10-22-2010, 09:28 AM

Re: Do you hate your hair? - no Because I am Not My Hair!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Jazz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I think you are exaggerating a bit... I don;t think black girls are taught that their hair is a "defect" - Of course they are going to be influenced by societal standards of beauty but believe it or not a lot of hair choices have to do with manageability and ease of styling etc.

You are doing exactly what the song says - judging someone BECAUSE Of their hair... your hair does not and should not be a definition of what you stand for as a person.

Do you think that one black woman is better than another because she chooses not to alter the condition of her hair chemically? does it make her more aware of herself as a black woman? the fact is that it tells you nothing about that person except her choice of hairstyles.
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I love you!

I permed my hair for the better part of a quarter century. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not self hating nor do I see my hair as defective. I did it cause it was easier to handle and I liked the way it looked and felt after perming.

I have been perm free for over a year now. And there are days when I regret it. It is a *itch to handle. I have been so close to perming again, but the boys urge me not to. They like the look of my hair - but they're not helping me in de-tangling the mess that it often is - so dem can say all dem want

Still, I do appreciate the texture of it in its natural state. But because I wear my hair un-permed does not mean I think I am more authentic than those who wear their hair permed.

I agree with India, I am not my hair.

Women who've lost their hair from chemo, for eg, recognize the truth of India's statement "It's not what's on your head, it's what's underneath"...

**Suesumba** · 10-22-2010, 10:12 AM

Re: Do you hate your hair? - no Because I am Not My Hair!

... no it's not an issue at all.

deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny deny

**mountaingal** · 10-22-2010, 10:36 AM

Re: Do you hate your hair? - no Because I am Not My Hair!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nunya</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Jazz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I think you are exaggerating a bit... I don;t think black girls are taught that their hair is a "defect" - Of course they are going to be influenced by societal standards of beauty but believe it or not a lot of hair choices have to do with manageability and ease of styling etc.

You are doing exactly what the song says - judging someone BECAUSE Of their hair... your hair does not and should not be a definition of what you stand for as a person.

Do you think that one black woman is better than another because she chooses not to alter the condition of her hair chemically? does it make her more aware of herself as a black woman? the fact is that it tells you nothing about that person except her choice of hairstyles.
</div></div>

I love you!

I permed my hair for the better part of a quarter century. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not self hating nor do I see my hair as defective. I did it cause it was easier to handle and I liked the way it looked and felt after perming.

I have been perm free for over a year now. And there are days when I regret it. It is a *itch to handle. I have been so close to perming again, but the boys urge me not to. They like the look of my hair - but they're not helping me in de-tangling the mess that it often is - so dem can say all dem want

Still, I do appreciate the texture of it in its natural state. But because I wear my hair un-permed does not mean I think I am more authentic than those who wear their hair permed.

I agree with India, I am not my hair.

Women who've lost their hair from chemo, for eg, recognize the truth of India's statement "It's not what's on your head, it's what's underneath"...

</div></div>

nunya, why did you decide to go and stay natural?

the irony of black women's hair is that keeping it natural actually offers more flexibility and ease of care. i see that with my daughters.

- the flat iron comes out when they want it straight.
- the hair gel comes out when they want it natuarl and sleek.
- they cornrow when they want a difference.
- one daughter sometimes goes for lots of mini twists for a semi-dread look
- the other daughter washes and makes big braids in her hair, then pulls them back into a bun that lasts her the whole week, cause she realize that going to university gives her less time for fingling with her hair.

and they have never experienced a chemical burn from a perm, lucky girls.

**Jazz** · 10-22-2010, 10:52 AM

Re: Do you hate your hair? - no Because I am Not My Hair!

@ Nunya - you are one of the most self aware black women I know - and that is form interaction on and off this board... the truth is that you have nothing to prove one way or another.

@ Suesumba - I don't think I am denying that there is an issue - many young black girls ARE influenced by the images thrown at them, by family, by friends etc. but to say they think their hair is a DEFECT I think that is bit much.

McGee it is evident that you have instilled a great amount of confidence in your girls growing up - where they are confident about making choices that fall outside the "popular" - however - there are so many more options available to a young black girl not wanting to use chemicals now... as opposed to a few years ago... The Flat iron maybe one of the most revolutionary styling tools of the 21st century... it;s easier for a black girl to get versatile styles now in a much shorter period of time.
This may be part of the reason that we are seeing more and more black women choosing to stay natural.

nuh get me wrong - I love to see hair in its natural state - but I also love to see a variety of styles...

I just don;t think a woman's styling choices means that she is self hater, or not fully connected to her blackness etc.

I have gone totally bald at least 4 times, I will sport a wig in a minute and have up to 4 at any one time inna mi closet. I've been curly, bobbed, short, long straight, braided, crimped, chiney bumped - you name it - i have done it... does that mean I think my hair is defect because I try different styles with it?

much like my clothes - I like to change the look and that is all. it doesn't define who I am.

**jah_yout** · 10-22-2010, 11:21 AM

Re: Do you hate your hair? - no Because I am Not My Hair!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Jazz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">much like my clothes - I like to change the look and that is all. it doesn't define who I am. </div></div>

my issue is not with change...

change would be a welcome development when you consider that so many black women would not be caught dead with hair that is not straight...even if they have to use some crazy looking weaves;
changing up is great- the problem is when you permanently deny a part of yourself by deciding you don't ever want to be seen with curly/ coily hair;

every black woman is gonna pretend they don't know about 'good hair' and 'bad hair'...& kids teasing other kids about having 'ni66er naps'

the problem is that some will never change from thinking that straight hair is superior...they pass that attitude down to their daughters & it goes on & on...
at any given moment 90% of the black women i see in the streets have their hair straightened/ permed/ weaved/ wigged to hide/deny the natural texture

**Bizzy** · 10-22-2010, 11:35 AM

Re: Do you hate your hair? - no Because I am Not My Hair!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jah_yout</div><div class="ubbcode-body">[quote=Jazz]at any given moment 90% of the black women i see in the streets have their hair straightened/ permed/ weaved/ wigged to hide/deny the natural texture </div></div>
so why do u automatically assume that they are hiding/denying the natural texture??

why can't it just be a hairstyle?

Not every single black woman was raised to believe that natural hair is 'bad' or something to be ashamed. I don't recall being fed that info from my mom or relatives when i was growing up.

I definitely disagree that a black woman with a natural style is more self aware than I am ONLY because I straighten my hair.

In the other thread with Solange latest style, u say it's ok that she is wearing weave/wig because it's an afro style and not a wig...I don't see you can support and then cow down another black woman for straightening the hair weh a grow outa har scalp

Until a woman specifically say, I wear my hair straight because i hate being black and want to look like a white woman then I don't see where the self hate comes in.

**Stormmey** · 10-22-2010, 11:35 AM

Re: Jah_Yout

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Jay_Yout I love your air too </div></div>

ehmmmm<span style="font-weight: bold"> air</span> was not a typo

**jah_yout** · 10-22-2010, 11:35 AM

Re: Do you hate your hair? - no Because I am Not My Hair!

the 'manageability' issue is interesting to me...

people don't see that a person with straight hair who desires a cornrow style also has 'manageability' issues;

like when straight-haired women go to jamaica & get their hair braided

**jah_yout** · 10-22-2010, 11:37 AM

Re: Jah_Yout

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Jay_Yout I love your air too </div></div>

ehmmmm<span style="font-weight: bold"> air</span> was not a typo </div></div>

i love your air too

**Bizzy** · 10-22-2010, 11:38 AM

Re: Jah_Yout

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Jay_Yout I love your air too </div></div>

ehmmmm<span style="font-weight: bold"> air</span> was not a typo </div></div>

**ILP** · 10-22-2010, 11:54 AM

Re: Do you hate your hair? - no Because I am Not My Hair!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: jah_yout</div><div class="ubbcode-body">the <span style="font-weight: bold">'manageability' issue </span>is interesting to me...

people don't see that a person with straight hair who desires a cornrow style also has 'manageability' issues;

like when straight-haired women go to jamaica & get their hair braided </div></div>

i think you are missing the point of jazz's comment.
she asked you to think on the issue from a management perspective.
she wanted you to think on the what each <span style="font-weight: bold">individual smaddy do to them hair as a management preference for each individual woman. </span>
some women prefer to cream them head as creamed hair is easier for them to manage for them
some women prefer natural/braded styels as that is easier to manage for them
some women prefer go to the barber shop as that is easier to manage for them
so prefer ponytail as that is easier to manage for them
some prefer wigs as that is easier to manage for them.

now i will agree that women are influenced about beauty (one way or another) by what they see...NOT ALL OF IT is about self hate.

**Suesumba** · 10-22-2010, 11:57 AM

Re: Do you hate your hair? - no Because I am Not My Hair!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Pura_Vida_ILP</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style="font-weight: bold">NOT ALL OF IT is about self hate</span>. </div></div>

worth repeating.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Click to reveal.. <input type="button" class="form-button" value="Show me!" onclick="toggle_spoiler(this, 'Yikes, my eyes!', 'Show me!')" /></div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div style="display: none;">but there is an overwhelming feeling among black women being burdened by their hair.</div></div></div>

**jah_yout** · 10-22-2010, 12:02 PM

Re: Do you hate your hair? - no Because I am Not My Hair!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">so why do u automatically assume that they are hiding/denying the natural texture??why can't it just be a hairstyle?</div></div>

it could be just a hairstyle...but i just wonder why 90% feel that hair has to be straight..90% of asian women (whose hair we buy) don't feel a need for afros or braids..at least not til they get old

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Not every single black woman was raised to believe that natural hair is 'bad' or something to be ashamed.</div></div>

this is true- not every single one- just the vast majority

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I don't recall being fed that info from my mom or relatives when i was growing up.</div></div>

u r in the minority

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I definitely disagree that a black woman with a natural style is more self aware than I am ONLY because I straighten my hair.</div></div>

i have never said this at any time...i also agree with your statement

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">In the other thread with Solange latest style, u say it's ok that she is wearing weave/wig because it's an afro style and not a wig...</div></div>

-- i said that if one is wearing a weave or wig i feel better if it is at least a style that mimics their own texture..to me a black woman with a long blonde straight-hair wig would look as absurd as a chinese woman with a big afro or dreadlock wig

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I don't see you can support and then cow down another black woman for straightening the hair weh a grow outa har scalp </div></div>

i don't cow down anyone...i just express my opinions;
i am not insane--i have seen little black girls as young as 5 getting their hair cremed so they can look 'good'; that's why i express to my daughters how beautiful their hair is...much like the white guy was trying to do when he wrote that song for sesame street...he saw it; but unfortunately too many of the mothers don't

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Until a woman specifically say, I wear my hair straight because i hate being black and want to look like a white woman then I don't see where the self hate comes in.</div></div>

it is more of a subconscious thing than an overt expression...
when asians get eyelid surgery, to me they are subconsciously saying 'i hate the eyes god gave me'...
the point is that people develop subconscious self-hate due to images that the media reinforces as to what is desirable...i see anorexia & bulimia in the same light...a few gay guys (fashion/ modeling/ beauty industry) told women that they have to be stick-thin to be considered beautiful & now so many of them swear by this...
i am just opposed to mind control..suh mi bun a fyah pan mass creming

**jah_yout** · 10-22-2010, 12:09 PM

Re: Do you hate your hair? - no Because I am Not My Hair!

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Pura_Vida_ILP</div><div class="ubbcode-body">[NOT ALL OF IT is about self hate. </div></div>

humans have a LOT of self-hate;

they are either too fat too skinny too tall too short too light too dark on & on...

i have seen people tatoo a different eye color so they could have green eyes...in ancient china women's feet would be bound to keep it from growing- mutilated for 'beauty'...cosmetic surgery, tummy stapleing, gastric-bypass, obsessive tanning; nuclear weapons...

the whole damn human race is self-hating if you ask me

**jah_yout** · 10-22-2010, 12:13 PM

Re: Do you hate your hair? - no Because I am Not My Hair!

funny how black women spend millons or billions every year to buy asian women's hair...but in chris rock's movie, when he tried to sell the asians african hair, they ran him with the quickness..
oh wait maybe i just imagined this

Do you hate your hair?

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