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Good day to you all, just into our newsroom are reports that the OIC has just added new substances to the Olympic banned list. What is incredible about this report is that the substances are now from food sources common in the Caribbean and regions alike. According the spokesperson of the OIC, they have now banned <span style="font-weight: bold">Yam, banana, Sweet Potaoe, Breadfruit, flour and cornmeal dumplins, Chocho and Run dung</span> from diets of all athletes participating in future Olympics.
The OIC claims are that these food substances are potent and as been responsibly for “Bolt” like races on the tracks of Beijing China. Drug Tests conducted on Jamaica’s sensation Usien Bolt have come up with traces of these food substances and is believed to be the culprit in his success at disseminating the Americans on the Track. The Americans are in support of this ban as their athletes have tried using flour dumplings only to suffer from chronic constipation. They too have tried Rung Dung only to run off the tracks with dodo ina dem baggy. The have not experience the same results with these food substances and is delighted that it will be banned.
The Jamaican Sports Minister had this to say in response:
<span style="font-weight: bold">“ Look yah noh .. mi sey a lang time dem a gun fi wi a ‘Merican yuh noh. If dem tink wi a goh siddung mek dem tell wi wey fi naym a fi wi yaaad dem mek a sad mistake..A fram slavery days wi a nyam Pitata an such delights an a lick wi ten finga when wi wax aff wi curry an wi Run Dung an a it mek wi tear aff tarmac affa track an duss out di whole a dem an now dem come a chat bout bandament aff wi food?? (<span style="font-style: italic">beating her chess</span>) Is arite man ..wi a set f idem ..fram now an di Ministry will mandate dat all Jamaican Athletes get monthly supply of peanut punch, Irish Mosh, Sowa Sap Juice an trang back cause dem noh know sey wi have nuff arisinal fi gi dem di dankey lents. Dem ting sey wi dun? A now dem a go si wi runnas dem tek aff like when gunman buss a shat affa Clappa Don .. Dats all mi havi sey”</span>
With that said she hurried off followed by a stream of angry Protestors.
Boardalne TV is committed to keep our Viewers up to date on this developing story as it unfolds. This is Wendy reporting for BoarlaneTV. Now we return you to your regular scheduled program ..
The OIC claims are that these food substances are potent and as been responsibly for “Bolt” like races on the tracks of Beijing China. Drug Tests conducted on Jamaica’s sensation Usien Bolt have come up with traces of these food substances and is believed to be the culprit in his success at disseminating the Americans on the Track. The Americans are in support of this ban as their athletes have tried using flour dumplings only to suffer from chronic constipation. They too have tried Rung Dung only to run off the tracks with dodo ina dem baggy. The have not experience the same results with these food substances and is delighted that it will be banned.
The Jamaican Sports Minister had this to say in response:
<span style="font-weight: bold">“ Look yah noh .. mi sey a lang time dem a gun fi wi a ‘Merican yuh noh. If dem tink wi a goh siddung mek dem tell wi wey fi naym a fi wi yaaad dem mek a sad mistake..A fram slavery days wi a nyam Pitata an such delights an a lick wi ten finga when wi wax aff wi curry an wi Run Dung an a it mek wi tear aff tarmac affa track an duss out di whole a dem an now dem come a chat bout bandament aff wi food?? (<span style="font-style: italic">beating her chess</span>) Is arite man ..wi a set f idem ..fram now an di Ministry will mandate dat all Jamaican Athletes get monthly supply of peanut punch, Irish Mosh, Sowa Sap Juice an trang back cause dem noh know sey wi have nuff arisinal fi gi dem di dankey lents. Dem ting sey wi dun? A now dem a go si wi runnas dem tek aff like when gunman buss a shat affa Clappa Don .. Dats all mi havi sey”</span>
With that said she hurried off followed by a stream of angry Protestors.
Boardalne TV is committed to keep our Viewers up to date on this developing story as it unfolds. This is Wendy reporting for BoarlaneTV. Now we return you to your regular scheduled program ..
WL:... Is who yuh bi any way 
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