Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

**Diplomat** · 03-05-2003, 02:29 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Just to wrap this one up. Some of the "tips" I have read includes:

1) Do not take each other for granted. Acknowledging and appreciating the little things goes a long way towards building a close bond.

2) Saying "Please" and "Thank You" are words that no one - including your spouse/partner - gets tired of hearing.

3) Show appreciation. It could be a card, his/her favorite chocolate bar, or some token picked up on the way home.

4) Don't forget to say "I love you". Even if it is not returned, you will feel a lot better for doing so.

5) If you are not sure about something, give the other person the benefit of the doubt.

**Guest** · 03-05-2003, 03:28 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Say "I Love You" Without Words - From Redbook.

1. Pop a towel into the dryer while he showers; when you hear him finishing up, hand him the hot towel.

2. Write "I love you" on the kitchen table in grapes, cherries, or whatever his favorite fruit is -- then leave it there for him to find.

3. Put heart-shaped ice cubes in his drinks.

4. Iron a Superman decal onto his boxers -- just because.

5. Rent the first movie you ever saw together, then watch it with him while eating the same food you had on your first date.

6. Play his favorite game -- even if it's Battleship and you're a Scrabble kind of gal.

7. Go through his closet and sew on the buttons that have fallen off his coats, shirts, and pants -- then let him find out on his own.

8. Before going to bed, make sure he has enough covers on his side.

9. When he flies home from his next business trip, surprise him by showing up at the airport.

10. Make him a CD of romantic songs you both love.

11. Keep the refrigerator stocked with his favorite ice cream.

12. Put a candy heart in his jacket pocket once a week.

13. Apply your signature lipstick shade, then kiss a bunch of Post-its and scatter them in the book he's reading.

14. Bring him breakfast in bed on a rainy Monday morning. Then coax him to go to work late.

15. Throw him a surprise birthday party and invite the friends he wishes he'd kept in better touch with.

16. Buy his weekly public transportation pass in advance so he doesn't have to wait in line Monday morning.

17. Make a collage of the goofiest photos of the two of you. Frame it and hang it up in your bathroom.

18. Join him for his morning run.

19. Make him the meal he loves that you can't stand.

20. Pick him up from work one day.

21. Reorganize the clothes in his closet so that it's as neat as (or neater than!) yours.

22. Pour him more coffee before his mug is empty.

23. Slather sunscreen on him when he forgets.

24. Let him stay home when you have to visit the aunt or uncle he can't stand.

25. Let him take the sections he wants from the Sunday paper first -- even if you have to wait for the ones you want.

26. Wear the earrings he bought you to a family function; show them off and praise his taste.

27. Draw a cute picture of the two of you with crayons and tape it to the fridge.

28. Take over a chore that he hates doing.

29. Join him in the shower one morning. Help him shampoo.

30. Do a seductive dance for him when he's stressed out.

31. Gather up all of your hair from the shower drain so he doesn't have to unclog it when it's his turn.

32. Wear a picture of him taken on your wedding day in a locket around your neck.

33. Occasionally let him win when you are playing a game or sport that you're better at.

34. "Write" sweet messages on his back with your fingers.

35. Make a photocopy of your hand and fax it to him at work: This way, he can "hold your hand" while you're apart.

36. Let him keep his favorite (yet very worn) chair in a prominent place in the house.

37. Don't say anything when he does something "bad" -- like licking cake batter off the spoon, or raiding the fridge at midnight.

38. Draw a heart in the foggy bathroom mirror after taking a shower.

39. Let him pick the next movie you rent.

40. When he asks you if you think he's gained a few pounds, keep quiet.

41. Find a way to do the impossible: getting tickets to the NBA playoff game he's dying to attend.

42. While he's trying to finish yet another ill-fated home-improvement project, bring him a snack.

43. Learn how to use the high-tech outdoor grill he bought and make burgers for him.

44. Let him sleep with the air conditioner on its highest setting, even if you prefer to be a bit toastier. (It's a great excuse to cuddle and use him for body heat.)

45. Enter sweet messages into his Palm Pilot's calendar (2 P.M. -- "I love you more now than ever").

46. Laugh at his jokes, even if they're not really funny.

47. Be nice to his mother the next time she tries to give you marriage advice, even if it kills you.

**Hopeton Lorraine** · 03-10-2003, 04:18 AM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

CEW, this is a very good topic!!

Well, as most of you have read my posts on different topics; you already know that me and my wife have been together since I was 19 and she 17. Although we didn't get married until 5 years ago, we have 5 beautiful children together and the oldest 1 being 17 and the youngest being 5 months. Having said that, marriage as well as a successful relationship requires work, respect, communication (is key), compromise/sacrifice and honesty. Alot of people getting married at my church think that because they have reached this stage of their relationships, they will never argue again.

I believe a successful relationship happens when both people are interested in making it work. A couple that I know makes it a point to have a date night at least once per month without the kids.

This is sooo very true and in my household(twice a month), very needed and well deserved [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Say "I Love You" Without Words - From Redbook.

Comprygirl, this is also very true and we've been doing most on their list for a long time before the article came out. Mrs. Link Up subscribes to Redbook and when the article came out she showed me and we both smiled/laughed; no words were needed to complete each others thoughts/sentences. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] Although, they could of added rose petals(flowers of choice) and scented bubble bath oil for who ever had a long hard day and just want to relax with no interruptions to complete a thought or forget about their day at work.

**Diplomat** · 03-10-2003, 10:59 AM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Link Up: Thanks for dropping in and kudos to you and your wife for the type of relationship you have succeeded in establishing. I have always maintained that we define for ourselves the kind of relationship we want to be in, and as Comprygirl stated, as long as both persons are interested in making it work, then it is just a matter of time before the relationship rises above mediocrity.

Comprygirl: Thanks for the list; I just had the time to go through it. I particular like #10 (though that would mean being around someone who is not technically challenged), and when I read #14, I wonder why not just stay home for the entire day? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

**halfwaytree** · 03-10-2003, 12:05 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Luck!

**halfwaytree** · 03-10-2003, 12:10 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

I once read that there are five C's to a good relationship but I can't remember all five.

I remember a couple.

-Communication
-Commitment

Hmmm! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

**Guest** · 03-10-2003, 12:36 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by Milo Man:
[qb]I once read that there are five C's to a good relationship but I can't remember all five.

I remember a couple.

-Communication
-Commitment

Hmmm! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] [/qb]

Caring, Consequences, Commitment, Conflict resolution and Communication

**SistahD** · 03-10-2003, 12:42 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

I seem to remember from years ago, there was a '100% formula' for the success of a relationship or marriage - unfortunately the only 'breakdown of percentages' I can actually remember is 33% sex (quality / satisfaction / etc) - go figure [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] that's the one I would remember!

**halfwaytree** · 03-10-2003, 02:56 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Quote by Compry:

Caring, Consequences, Commitment, Conflict resolution and Communication

Thanks!

**halfwaytree** · 03-10-2003, 03:04 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

I am no expert in this department. However, it does not matter if you are a Christian or not, the words in 1st Corinthians chapter 13 is great advise, I feel, for all to try and follow.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

**Diplomat** · 03-10-2003, 03:32 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by SistahD:
[qb]I seem to remember from years ago, there was a '100% formula' for the success of a relationship or marriage - unfortunately the only 'breakdown of percentages' I can actually remember is 33% sex (quality / satisfaction / etc) - go figure [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] that's the one I would remember![/qb]

33%????

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

**Guest** · 03-10-2003, 03:54 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by Milo Man:
[qb]Quote by Compry:

Caring, Consequences, Commitment, Conflict resolution and Communication

Thanks![/qb]

NP Milo Man and I do agree with you that we should try and follow 1 Cor. 13.

**SistahD** · 03-10-2003, 04:52 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

[qb][/qb]

33%????

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] [/qb]

Each of the components were broken down ie trust, compatability, caring, communication respect etc... people used to comment that sex and all that goes with it or related to the act of intimacy... to have those people understand that the success was not wholly dependant on the 'sex issue', it illustrated the breakdown with 'sex' as only 33% (as opposed to 50 or 75). In other words if your relationship was based on 50% sex... there would obviously be a lot of other areas that were lacking...hence failure if you couldn't bring up the percentages.

Came out around the same time as average number of times (seniors) would have sex in a week... something like 1.25 times per week! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

**Hopeton Lorraine** · 03-10-2003, 07:40 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Link Up: Thanks for dropping in and kudos to you and your wife for the type of relationship you have succeeded in establishing. I have always maintained that we define for ourselves the kind of relationship we want to be in, and as Comprygirl stated, as long as both persons are interested in making it work, then it is just a matter of time before the relationship rises above mediocrity.

Thank you CEW, and I wanted to say sorry to everyone that my post was so long and I seemed to be rambling on. Once again, thanks for such a good topic.

**Diplomat** · 03-10-2003, 08:01 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by SistahD:
[qb]...In other words if your relationship was based on 50% sex... there would obviously be a lot of other areas that were lacking...hence failure if you couldn't bring up the percentages.

Came out around the same time as average number of times (seniors) would have sex in a week... something like 1.25 times per week! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [/qb]

Isn't that well below the "average"? Opps...sorry, you did say seniors [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

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