Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

**mountaingal** · 03-16-2003, 05:20 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

You know, Sweetsop, I was thinking that most of those suggestions, put together, infantilizes a man and turns his woman into his mother or nanny. i'm not crazy about that list at all.

**Hush Darlin** · 03-16-2003, 05:23 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by VJay:
[qb]I've learned to pick up on the non-verbal messages. Like when my husband unexpectanly fills my gas tank or washes my car. Sometimes he even cues a song I like so that is playing when I get in my car. Yesterday he brought lunch to my office for me. These little things say love and committment loud and clear. It took me a while to realize that by doing these little things he was telling me he cared about me. I've learned to cherish each of these caring gestures.[/qb]

Funny...a few weeks ago my boss' husband started her car for hes seeing that it ws very cold and forgot to tell her he did and she couldnt find the keys when she was ready was she ever FURIOUS and even when she found out he was just being thoughtful by staring the car so it could be warmed up she was still angry

**Hush Darlin** · 03-16-2003, 05:25 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]VJay: Excellent points! A significant number of men are not very verbal but their actions do say a lot. I think it is cool that your hubby does the things he does, and more importantly, kudos to you for picking up on and recognizing them as expressions of his love and care. I like the idea of him bringing lunch to you at the office as that act sure speaks volumes. Continued happiness to you both.[/qb]

And if the office had a door with a lock the that wouold be a BONUS

**Guest** · 03-16-2003, 05:28 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by mountaingal:
[qb]You know, Sweetsop, I was thinking that most of those suggestions, put together, infantilizes a man and turns his woman into his mother or nanny. i'm not crazy about that list at all.[/qb]

mountaingal, I will see if I can find another list [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

**Hush Darlin** · 03-16-2003, 05:30 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by mountaingal:
[qb]You know, Sweetsop, I was thinking that most of those suggestions, put together, infantilizes a man and turns his woman into his mother or nanny. i'm not crazy about that list at all.[/qb]

But if they do it for each other that fine with me but for me to personally go out on a limb to do that for him and him not doing it for me in return...I say no...let his mom or a nanny as u say do it for him

**mountaingal** · 03-16-2003, 05:33 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by Compry:
[qb]

Originally posted by mountaingal:
[qb]You know, Sweetsop, I was thinking that most of those suggestions, put together, infantilizes a man and turns his woman into his mother or nanny. i'm not crazy about that list at all.[/qb]

mountaingal, I will see if I can find another list [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [/qb]

Thanks Compry! see if you can find a man for me to practice it on, too, lol!

**Guest** · 03-16-2003, 05:38 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by mountaingal:
Thanks Compry! see if you can find a man for me to practice it on, too, lol!

It depends...are you "nice" or "not so nice"? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

**mountaingal** · 03-16-2003, 05:47 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

lawks, compry, you put me on the spot (but i asked for it, don't?).

i don't know if i'm nice or not-so-nice, but i'm "relationship-challenged" [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] i have little patience for the games required to keep a man.

**Guest** · 03-16-2003, 05:58 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Alright then...I have a match for you. I will confirm tomorrow ...no kidding.

**mountaingal** · 03-16-2003, 06:10 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

hmmmm....

DC · 03-16-2003, 06:15 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

Originally posted by Silent River:
[qb]agree with all the positive statements here..

Here are some more C's Comprygirl and MiloMan:

Cover one another
[/qb]

Silent River, this is a very interesting one. Care to expand on what this means?[/qb]

I am aware of the spiritual meaning and I meant that too. However, I was also referrring to "cover" as in terms of our shortcomings and mistakes. We cover one another's mistakes and faults in love.. If we love someone we strive not to use their faults/mistakes against them or make it a running joke among friends and family(an example-and I have seen this BTW). We do not 'cover-up' or 'conceal' or 'deny' the mistake, but allow the person to still feel protected and covered while acknowledging their imperfections.

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

**Diplomat** · 03-17-2003, 11:18 AM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Silent River: Thanks for the explanation. i quite like that approach as well.

**42@best** · 03-17-2003, 11:40 AM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by Silent River:
[qb]

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

Originally posted by Silent River:
[qb]agree with all the positive statements here..

Here are some more C's Comprygirl and MiloMan:

Cover one another
[/qb]

Silent River, this is a very interesting one. Care to expand on what this means?[/qb]

I am aware of the spiritual meaning and I meant that too. However, I was also referrring to "cover" as in terms of our shortcomings and mistakes. We cover one another's mistakes and faults in love.. If we love someone we strive not to use their faults/mistakes against them or make it a running joke among friends and family(an example-and I have seen this BTW). We do not 'cover-up' or 'conceal' or 'deny' the mistake, but allow the person to still feel protected and covered while acknowledging their imperfections.

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [/qb]

Amen to that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Guest** · 03-17-2003, 11:44 AM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

Originally posted by mountaingal:
[qb]hmmmm....[/qb]

MG, I haven't forgotten about the list...check your PM

**Guest** · 03-17-2003, 02:42 PM

Re: Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

MG, here you go! I did put the pray together one on the top of the list because I do believe this is very very important.

1. Pray Together - Make it a point to pray together every night. That way, you can never sleep angry at each other. If you keep God #1 in your lives, you can never fail.
2. 2 minutes - Guys take just 2 minutes EVERY day to tell her you love her. Do this by calling, faxing, emailing, or paging her. It may not seem like much to you, but it will make all the difference in the world to her. Daily contact equals love in her eyes.
3. 3x - Tell them you love them three times a day, every day for the rest of your life.
4. Advice - Complain less, compliment more.
5. Apologies - Say "I'm sorry" even if you think you're right.
6. Ask yourself... - Ask yourself if the reason that you are fighting is important enough for the both of you to go through the trouble of feeling hurt.
7. Baby Face - Shave before going to bed - both of you.
8. Be at her side - ALWAYS be in her side, so she can feel that she is being supported by you. Love her in this way every day for the rest of your life.
9. Be gentle - No matter what you are doing...remember always to be gentle.... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
10. Be prepared - Buy stamps (including love stamps) and carry a few in your wallet or day planner. Buy and keep a couple of generic cards for any occasion you forget about.
11. Build her confidence - Praise her in front of people.
12. Call me - If your love has to drive a long way home or in bad weather, ask them to call you so you know they got home safely.
13. Caring card - leave her a card with one of her favorite flowers and write 'if I had a flower for every time i thought of you, i could walk in my garden forever.'
14. Chores - Perform chores she hates to do - such as laundry, dishes, anything she normally does for a week.
15. Clean together - Wash dishes with her, ask her about her day.
16. Compliments - Compliment them on their appearance every day. Actually mean what you say too.
17. Curious men: - If she starts to look or act irritated, stop asking questions and back off for a while
18. Date reminders - Write down your anniversaries for any dates you can remember, put these on your calendar. Including: anniversary of first date, first kiss, first time you made love, marriage, first big fight, date you purchased the engagement ring, birthday, first time you met, first ______.
19. Decimal Anniversary - A fun new romantic idea is the celebration of a 'Decimal Anniversary'. A decimal anniversary is the celebration of every 100 or 1000 days together. Surprise your partner with a decimal anniversary celebration and show them that not only is every year spent together special but also every day. You can calculate the date of your next decimal anniversary at: http://www.jarusa.com/decann/
20. Dinner by candle light - Give her a dinner by candle light and then take a slow walk on the beach and if she gets tired, pick her up and carry her in your arms.
21. Eye contact - Always look in their eyes as they're talking to you.
22. Eyes for her only - No matter how attractive another woman is, never say you wished your girlfriend or wife looked like that, it will damage her ego and she won't feel attractive to you for a long time to come.
23. Give her a massage - Just give her a massage! Start with the shoulders and neck, and work your way down. DONT go below the waistline, before SHE asks it. Tip; move your thumbs slightly pushing up parallel to her spine
24. Give of yourself - Give your time; do things for the other person that you do not seem to directly gain from (like making dinner, doing dished, washing the car, things that the other person would rather not do; buy flowers for no occasion; give your feelings of love everyday; just give. It is better to give than to receive. What you get in return will make giving of yourself worthwhile.
25. Goals - Sit down together and write out your goals. Write ones for each of you under personal and career, and write down your couple goals as well. Choose ones for immediate, short term, intermediate term, and long term.
26. Good advice - Don't be overly jealous.
27. Heartfelt respect - Guys, if you treat a woman with great respect and heartfelt intentions like I treat my daughter. 99% of the time you will find yourself a true woman that you can spend the rest of your life with.
28. Help me! - Ask the question, "What can I do for you today honey?"
29. Hold hands - Hold your mate's hand whenever you walk with them.
30. Hold her - If she is sad or unhappy, hold her hand while she cries. Don't offer your advice unless she asks for it.
31. Hugs - Hug them, tell them that you feel safe & loved in their arms and that you want to just stay like that forever.
32. Important Dates - Write important dates in your business calendar. Write reminding dates a week to two before the important dates so you have time to purchase anything needed.
33. Let her know... - Tell her that she is the best thing that has ever happened to you in your entire life!
34. Let Them Know - make sure to tell them and show them how much you care about them before it's too late
35. Love! - If you Love her then SHOW her! You gotta treat her like a woman, pull out chairs, give her roses, spend much money on her!
36. Make time for her - No matter how busy your week or day is, take some quality time to show her she's still #1 and important to you. (
37. Massages - Massages are good! Offer them, you don't have to be professional. It's the effort that counts.
38. Mothers - If she is a mother, volunteer to baby-sit at least once a week so she can get errands done and have some time to herself. Be sure not to complain afterwards, but be cheery about the evening or day.
39. Never-ending *hugs* - *hug* her and tell her that you'll never let her go..no matter what..you'll always be there for her. We all need some sense of security, protection, and *LOVE* =)
40. On your or her B'day - Keep a candy or a chocolate piece in your mouth and ask her/him to bite the other part.
41. Pay Attention - Always listen to her wholeheartedly and hear what she has to say. Respect her opinions whether you agree or not, remember to always be on her side.
42. Pet Names - Give each other pet names, possibly something that is an inside joke.
43. Renewal - Renew your wedding vows.
44. Respect - Bring back chivalry. Always open her car door for her, getting in & out. Always stand on her right side as you walk into a building so you can hold open the door for her with ease. Always pull out her chair in a restaurant.
45. Show them you care - Share a special moment you two shared a long time ago every month like the first movie you two ever saw together
46. Smile! - Smiling, for most women, melts their hearts!!
47. Soul searching - look into your partners eyes for at least a minute a day you will make her feel special and
48. Special - Always make the other person feel like they are the most special person in their life.
49. Special Attention - Women loves to be spoiled. Give a gift without your presence. Wash her feet after a long day and rub them with lotion. Run her a bath, light her a candle, put on soft music and let her enjoy this time alone, it will pay off later!
50. Stress relief? - Learn to have the last word in arguments, "I'm sorry."
51. Take a nap - If your partner is stressed out, let them take a nap and keep all distractions and emergencies away from them during that time.
52. Take the Initiative! - Be the first to begin things in a relationship... take her hand when she least expects it and show how much love her.
53. The Future - Talk about your dreams together and where you two are going in life.
54. The Little Things - Leave her little things on her care, on her pillow. Things such as a single flower, a note, etc. Something to show her that you were thinking about her
55. The Rules - Women: Don't always follow "The Rules", and if you haven't read them, don't, make up your own Rules
56. The world - Tell them they mean the world to you.
57. Thoughts - If she asks you "what ya thinking?" or "what's on your mind?", never, ever say "nothing". They only ask because they want to get inside what you feel, either be truthful with them, or just tell them you are thinking about them, about how beautiful they are, anything, it will win you points to not say "nothing".
58. Three Squeezes - Tell your Love that everytime you squeeze their hand three times, it means I Love You. Do this in public and do it often. Even when you are alone. If they are talking to someone, catch them offguard. Or do it during those quiet drives or walks, just squeeze... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
59. Use Your Imagination - Blind fold your sweetie, and have them feel what it is you are putting in front of them.Use your imagination on what it is you should have them feel!
60. What not to give - What ever you do, do not give personal care items no matter what!
61. Wink - Catch their eyes in crowds, wink at them.
62. Wrap your gifts - One thing most men lack to do is to wrap gifts. Most women love the fact that it is wrapped. If you are that bad at wrapping, have a neighbor or friend do it. Just always wrap your gifts
63. You notice anything??? - If she asks you if you notice anything different, do not say "no", take your best guess, hair cut, new outfit, anything, if you are right, you win, if you are not, compliment her on whatever you did guess and ask her what is different.

Edited to add #64 for CEW - Guys insist on helping or doing the ironing. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Rising Above Mediocrity - Tips For Successful Relationships ...

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