what REALLY happened afta di service

[msportmore]

**I cannot account for what happened at the actual ceremony as I had something in my eye and couldn't concentrarte on much of the goings ons [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

However, as for what happened after di service....Well, dis is how it all went dung....

The service ended and we all filed out of di Cathedral one bi one...I stood outside as quiet as a mouse waiting to jump in di vehicle an go to di nyammin part of di day... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

As I stood there, a host of Ja.commers swarmed dung on di general area of where I stood and started one big nize meetin an greetin...I was taken aback an was shame an held my head dung, trying not to be noticed....it was at that time that someone Ebony_Ize I believe came out wid some name tags and handed me one "MISS PORTMORE, COME FI YU NAME TAG!!!"....I stealtily tried to walk away but to no avail as I heard SistahD saying to someone "Where's Miss P? Where's Miss P?"...I was quickly identified by my name tag as I tried to run away...

Throughout all of this, I kept hearing a likkle whisperin in di backgroun, come to fine out it was Queen stressing out grandma bout black cake and yaadie stressin har bout edges [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

Eventually, we got it together. Folks were introduced...some were younger and some were shorter than others thought...some were even described as "likkle pickney" [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] Finally, to my heart's content, it was time to go for the nyammins...

Well, we started out all fine and well with Ebony_Ize in front, Dahjah, -X-, churchgirl and J-Kid following....Ebony decided to give those of us out-of-towners a grand tour of Canada....as it turns out, Ebony had no idea where she was going and we were all heading for Quebec [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] ...Well, lucky for us and not so lucky for others ((((J-Kid)))) -X- took the lead an genkle peeple...mek I just intajek wan word een yahso....lawd-hab-his-massi-pan-di-whole-a-wi-soul!! Missa -X- show dem who is boss weavin in an outta traffic like it was nobady's business...finally wi got to di place of di nyammins and as of right now, I believe J-Kid is still looking for di restaurant [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

soon come back wid di res

[X]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

DWL@ Ms Portmore!

Yuh know, I've been noticing that mi driving prowles is being called out, but mi neva know a so much people a falla mi [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] .

Seriously, mi neva know dat mi was leading so much people.. Is when Ebony kecth up to mi (at first mi think she did a try race me, so mi just "press out [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] "), but is when mi hear horns and see G2 a wave har hands franticly, draw down beside mi, wind down window fass fass and shout " -X-, we have at least 10 cars a try fallw wi!".. mi realize say a neva Ebony alone a fallaw (and di poor thing neva a try fi test di V6 [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] ) .

J-Kid sarry fi lass yuh.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Den again a dat unno get fi meck "Skilla" from Jackass Pass lead motorcade [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] .

[msportmore]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

We entered di restaurant an wi had a sat...G2 and Xavier fight off everybody fi di powa seat dem...so, I was forced to take the almost power seat [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] Wi siddung deh good-good an a chry fi look dignified like but yaadie & Dahjah couldn't be at ease knowing dat poor J-Kid was somewhere roamin around on di dangerous Canadaian streets...so G2 & Ebony who were part of the reason he was missin, decided to go an look for him....

Porty-48 mek sure fi tek a seat right next to di nyammin table soh shi can advise us of di goings ons ova dere...workin along side her was CEW, Compry, SistahD, the mystery lady, et al.

Dahjah, yaadie, churchgirl, Queen, Kuya and likkle Ivory made up the rest of my table...an genkle peeple, mek I tell oonu sinting o/ I was shameth.....

Here is a likkle of di reported speech from di rest of di evelin:-

churchgirl: yaadie, paas di bread fi mi...
**yaadie passes di bread**
churchgirl: oh, dis is a diffrant kind of bread [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] - a wanda if dere is anymore?
Dahjah: Mi have some out inna di truck eenuh? Yu waan go fi it?
churchgirl: yeah man! is wah kine?
Dahjah: Hardough man! Peg bread...
yaadie: but dis one is HARD DOUGH so yu nuh need nuh more! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
churchgirl: gimmie di key!
Portmore: no sah! no dweet!
yaadie: dat naah go look good churchie!
Dahjah: Yu waan di key?
Kuya: We can break bread an eat
churchgirl: Yu mussi tink a biblical times dem yah - wi naah feed nuh multitude!
Queen: A weh di black cake deh?
Dahjah: Churchie! Tek di key a gwaan fi it nuh! Put it eena wan scandal an cyarry it come!
**Dahjah fling key gi churcgirl**
**yaadie grip awn pan churchgirl shoulder**
yaadie: nuh go man! it naah go look right!
likkleIvory: I'll go! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
Queen: Whe di black cake???
churchgirl: Aye yaadie! A hope when mi go fi di bread yu nuh waan none eenuh! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

**All of a sudden mi si Dahjah jim screechy gawn an mi look roun again an likkleIvory gawn to....neks ting mi know, di two a dem a come een wid two big smile pan dem face and when dem siddung wi si dem wid 1 piece a bread each...poor likkleIvory so generous dat fi har piece share fi bout 500 people...a mussi SHE was modern day Jesus [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] Mean Dahjah ongle share fi him piece wid wan deggeh-deggeh smaddy [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] *smackin mi lips dem*...

**by dis time Grandma and Ebony come back lookin all furlorn...dem drive out di whole a canada...to di cathedral an back...whitby, quebec, yellowknife, all bout an couldn fine poor J-Kid. Ebony had to left because shi had some hot date wid wan man pan a boat....so di evelin continued....

[Ivory]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

Ivory wondering which Mystery Lady she is talking about?
[img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

the mystery lady, et al.

[churchgirl]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

BOABDL!!! Ms. P mek yuh suh scandalous?!! (Glad yuh reach back safe and sound too.) Gracious Savia. Yuh know di wus pawt - is true yuh talking. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] . Waiting fi more!!!

Skilla remine mi nuh fi falla back a yuh again y'ear? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Guest]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

Originally posted by Ivory:
[qb] Ivory wondering which Mystery Lady she is talking about?
[img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

the mystery lady, et al.

[/qb]

Miss Portmore, glad you made it home safe.

Ivory, she's talking about the lady that was sitting next to Porty-48. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[DC]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

double...

[DC]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

LOL****

Dats right! Spill di beans yahhh Miss Portmore. Soh wha happen nex?? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[msportmore]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

yes Compry, is she I are speak about!

Churchgirl, I don't tell lies yu know? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[churchgirl]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

Originally posted by Miss Portmore:
[qb] Churchgirl, I don't tell lies yu know? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [/qb]

Mi know man. Das why fi mi and fi yuh account soun di same. A girl offa mi owna hawt. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[msportmore]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

churchgirl: mi hungry eenuh? come wi go get some food nuh?
yaadie: wait likkle bit man, mi nuh waan join nuh line
Dahjah: but dem neva mek nuh formal callin fi food!
Queen: a wanda if any black cake leff??
grandma: so is wah oonu did a wait pan fi go fi di food?? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]
yaadie: cho man granma, mi did a wait pan di line fi go dung likkle bit

**After everybody else in the place eats, my table FINALLY decide fi get up an go jine di line @ di whole a dem...di worm dem inside a mi did a cuss some heap a naasiniss [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] **

**Mi an yaadie go stan up eena di line an smaddy come touch wi an tell wi seh di line staat all di way dung a woi-woi...where we were standing a cut wi did a try cut front a smaddy else [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] **

**Grandma come an dis jump front a mi an yaadie...a ongle cause mi love har mek mi neva lick har dung fi cut front a mi....**

**At the bar...

Grandma to the waiter: May I have some vodka with lemon please?
yaadie whisperin to G2: Yu have money fi pay far it? It nuh free missis!
Waiter to G2: How did you say I can help you again?
Grandma: Oh! I just wanted some lemons please [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

soon come

[msportmore]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

**We all tried our best to act dignified at the food table except for one smaddy...I wont call their name but they asked quite loudly....

Where's di black cake???

So we are there getting food an Dahjah buss out..."So where wi goin afta dis granma? Look like wi ago need sinting fi eat!" I left them there contemplatin an went to have a sat at my seat...

**Back at the table...

Grandma: EGGZAVIA! EGGZAVIA!!
**Xavier comes over to Queen and reminds her of her duty to correct anyone who mispronounces his name for the rest of the night....how do you pronounce Xerox? or Xylophone? well dats how you pronounce Xavier....not EGGZAVIER...but Xavier (Zavier)
G2: Mi ole so mi can call yu anyway mi waan call yu!
Marilou screamin at di top of her voice: Come Xavier! Don't pay har nuh min! A soh shi tan! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
Queen: Why oonu stressin EGGZAVIER??
G2: X-Man! Yu hear wah Queen jus call yu?
Xavier comes back to our table to Queen: Stretch out yu han!!
**an ladies an genklemen? he beat her sore [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]
churchgirl: Di toto not bad
G2: Compared to what?

**Porty-48 comes over to our table.

Granma: Porty, mek wi show dem di table dance nuh?
Porty-48: Mi ready when yu ready man!!
Kuya: Den yu wud really do dat??
yaadie: Woiiiee my bodddyyyyyyy
Grandma: But of course! Yu neva hear bout di time when wan young man gimmie a body shot eena wan bar??
Dahjah: A wah??
yaadie: Wah name so grandma???
G2: Dis young man drink awf a mi body pan mi bertday!

**Di whole table is in aw an shock an nobody knows what to say....

Same time Sweetsopp buss out "SI HAR DEH!!!" an pointed smaddy out!!

Shock an awe once again...

Den Porty-48 come back ova an whipsa to wi:

Porty-48: Dem jus put out Curry Goat an rice pan di table....

**Mad rush to di table....

soon come back

[Porty-48]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

LOL Ms.P - de mystery lady was mi hubby's watch "man" dat mi behave miself [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

mi a wait fe de "curry goat & rice" part - dat's when yuh did tink mi did say "FIRE" di way unno did run fe get ei. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Queen]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

Ms. P., don't forget the part of the curry goat. When curry goat was announced, I thought the rapture took place and I was left behind [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] Everybody at my table and surrounding tables took a mad dash all at once to devour di likkle goat. I could hear him calling for his maa maa maa. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

It was nice meeting you folks. Special greetings to my table compadres.
Grandma - I'm still here waiting for my black cake
Church girl - you're such a sweetie, we ought to keep in touch
Yaardie - girl I'm still in your back yard, but not for long.
King DAhjah - you really are king being surrounded by such beautiful ladies and monopolizing on the attention [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Kuya - so nice meeting you [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
EbonyEyes - girl did you return the people's plate yet? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Marilou - you look just like you're picture, it was so nice meeting you.

Ms. P - *snicker* I'll be back for my black cake in a few hours.

O.k. those were the people at my table, I really had a nice time with you all, you guys really cracked me up, especially with that hardough bread thing [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] . I planned on being there incognito, so I didn't announce my arrival on the BB... it didn't work as yaardie and G2, called me out [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] ...it was all good though.

[msportmore]

Re: what REALLY happened afta di service

well *I* didn't rush for any curry goat an rice and peas as di gyas did full up mi belly [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] ...i sat an watched as they all fought to get some food...

Back at di table...

Smaddy buss out: A who cook di rice?
G2: It wasn't me!

**Marcia's niece is offering a rendition of One Day At A Time...yaadie is swayin from side to side with her eyes closed an her fingers up in di air - tekkin een di music...same time, churchgirl lean to di side like shi about fi drop awf a har chair and unto grandma's lap..

Dahjah: A wah wrang wid yu?
churchgirl: Wah mi do?
Kuya: It muss be di punch
likkleIvory: It have rum in it? Can I have some?? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
Queen: A spirit di 2 a dem a get inna...weh mi camera deh?
yaadie: Oonu gwey an leave mi nuh??
grandma: Nuh mine yaah putus...yu want yu edges now?
yaadie: Yes granma go fi dem nuh?
churchgirl: So how oonu neva waan mi fi go fi di bread? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]
Queen: Yu have black cake edges to Granma?
Dahjah: Where wi goin afta dis Granma? Mi hungry...
Grandma: Well, I didn't cook so mi sorry fi yu!

**Same time a little boy & girl grabbed the mic...

I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky, I think about it every night and day, Spread my wings and fly away.....

**Dis one left G2 in tears.

Den we were honored to meet {{{CTHALL}}}, {{{DAVVY}}}, {{{Audrey}}}} and the other {{{sprecial genkleman}}} who had actually heard my name before [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] (No i wont mention his name here, oonu is too faas )

soon come