Directions Jamaican Style.

[Guest]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

Originally posted by Wendy:
[qb] Mi seh mi noh know how mi a cope tidey cause mi is week [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

Man#1: My Yute how lang yuh tink it ago tek mi fi reach a Hellshire fram yahso?

Man#2: Bout 20 minute to a hour and half?

Man#1: 20 minutes to a hour an half? Mi noh undastan dat my yute [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Man#2: Cause dat depen pan which roote yuh tek.

Man#1: Gi mi di 20 minute roote cause mi noh have hour an half fi waste.

Man#2: Arite tek di Marcus Garvey highway a go towards Spanish town way

Man#1: Dat a East or West?

Man#2: Mi look like compass to yuh dread? A coulda east ar west .. ar southwest afta mi noh know ..jus goh di way Spanish town mi sey. Lissen to mi noh man!

Man#1: **kiss teet**Arite how far up di highway mi a travel?

Man#2: Yuh ago go bout tree quarta mile til yuh come a di Exxon Gas station. Dem call deh soh Dead man Grove. Yuh si when reach deh soh some bad blood Kleet man deh pan dah ends deh so press gas like yuh si yuh mumma duppy an noh tap til yuh reach di haspital. When yuh reach di hasptital tap an ask wan a di peanut man dem how yuh can ketch Hellshire.

Man#1: Mi tink yuh know di whole way .. yuh jus lef mi a di haspital soh?

Man#2: Dread mi nat even sure if yuh a go reach a di hospital yuh a talk bout .. nuff people noh drive dah root deh seka di bad man dem a Dead man Grove.

Man#1: Den a mek yuh gi mi dat deh roote deh an yuh know sey bad man a go buss shat affa mi baxide. A kill yuh a try kill mi aff noh B***Y bway

Man#1: No yuh sey yuh wan di 20 minute roote? Yuh a ediat ar wah?! [/qb]

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

Please mi cyaan breathe in yah!!!BOAL... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[esp]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

Wendy an Jazz unu tap ie man..waieeeee mi side [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Jazz]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

Originally posted by Wendy:
[qb] Mi seh mi noh know how mi a cope tidey cause mi is week [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

Man#1: My Yute how lang yuh tink it ago tek mi fi reach a Hellshire fram yahso?

Man#2: Bout 20 minute to a hour and half?

Man#1: 20 minutes to a hour an half? Mi noh undastan dat my yute [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Man#2: Cause dat depen pan which roote yuh tek.

Man#1: Gi mi di 20 minute roote cause mi noh have hour an half fi waste.

Man#2: Arite tek di Marcus Garvey highway a go towards Spanish town way

Man#1: Dat a East or West?

Man#2: Mi look like compass to yuh dread? A coulda east ar west .. ar southwest afta mi noh know ..jus goh di way Spanish town mi sey. Lissen to mi noh man!

Man#1: **kiss teet**Arite how far up di highway mi a travel?

Man#2: Yuh ago go bout tree quarta mile til yuh come a di Exxon Gas station. Dem call deh soh Dead man Grove. Yuh si when reach deh soh some bad blood Kleet man deh pan dah ends deh so press gas like yuh si yuh mumma duppy an noh tap til yuh reach di haspital. When yuh reach di hasptital tap an ask wan a di peanut man dem how yuh can ketch Hellshire.

Man#1: Mi tink yuh know di whole way .. yuh jus lef mi a di haspital soh?

Man#2: Dread mi nat even sure if yuh a go reach a di hospital yuh a talk bout .. nuff people noh drive dah root deh seka di bad man dem a Dead man Grove.

Man#1: Den a mek yuh gi mi dat deh roote deh an yuh know sey bad man a go buss shat affa mi baxide. A kill yuh a try kill mi aff noh B***Y bway

Man#1: No yuh sey yuh wan di 20 minute roote? Yuh a ediat ar wah?! [/qb]

*BOAL* - wwwaaaiiiiiiiiiiii [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Boopie2]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] Bad man? Don't know if he will make it. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] Wendy you are too much [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[OcheeHeart]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]ray:

[Hush Darlin]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

oye dey sah u can tell mi wey fe fine Miss G yaawd
yes sah
go crass de camman and crass de road wey u see waan X mark wey CG did dead den u go crass Buccky and you wi pass the gully wey Baleen did drown den you go dung the hill and de go chroo Gam bush and you gwine pass waan Packie tree and you mek a turn desso an go through the track strait to har house there is a camman mang tree right before you ketch you cyaa lassyou cyaan lass...ie easy fe fine

[Zeko]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

Shop just outside of Duncans....

Excuse me sir, I am trying to find Ms. viris Clarke, they call her Ms. Dor.

1st Man: Whe you know Ms. Dor from?
Me: Excuse me? Im her daughter-in-law. Do you or anyone in here know her and can tell me how to get to her house?

2nd Man: Den if ah yuh maddah-in-law, how comes yuh noh kow weh she live?

Me to Shopkeeper: Totally ignoring the di two idiat, turn to the shopkeeper: My name and A. Clarke and I am looking for Ms. Dor, she is visiting from Canada.

Shopkeeper: ms. lady, mi noh stranger weh people live yuh know...

1st Man: How wi know say ah no rob yuh ah go round deh fi rob har? Mi noh trust nobady dees days yuh noh..An if ah yuh maddah-in-law, yuh fi know weh shi live. Yellowbird, noh tell har. Next ting yuh hear seh dem go round deh go rab Aunt Dor.

Walk out of the shop and drove down a road and ask a little roun head boy.

Ms. Dor, di wan weh come from foreign?
Yes...
Yuh see dah tank deh..?(pointing down another lane)
Yes
Go round dah corner deh -
Left or right
Him suffle him hand dem - right. Den when yuh reach dung a Peaches Bar, go up di hill and har house deh crass from Mass. Banny pasture - di house wid di big breadfruit tree inna di yawd.
Me: Where do you live?
Little roun-head boy: Beside Ms. Dor.
Me: Come mek mi give you a ride.

1st Man: Is aunt dor nephew and live in the same house. I hate him till dis day.

[neutral]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

me...excuse me,can you tell me the way to get to miss limey.

man...."yah man,mi know a weh,...but tan tuddeh!,yu face look familah enno man,yu fayvah smaddy weh mi know,...yu related to any a de thompson dem....

me....no sir,

him.....a miss limey place yah go,....arrite mek mi tell yu de direckshan......yu sure seh yu no related to egbert tompson dem fram uppah calabash walk....??

me....no sir.

anyway,...miss limey used to live ovah near de ball grung,but hurricane gilbert did pap dung de house,so shi move likkle furdah roun an bild new house pon de hilltap....if yu gwaan dung.....
..bwoy yu fayvah de people dem is a shame,yu sure sure seh yu no related to dem...?

me...no sir.. getting impatient

him...arrite,arrite,mek mi tell yu weh miss limey live now,....when yu go roun de carnah deh, look up pon de hill,a she dat,......bwoy yu is de dead stamp a maas thompson. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Guest]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

No star tap road lack off from whe day. You caan go true.... Dem suppose to a do some kinna wuk up deh. Whe day Mas James bruk off im axle up de and a Ms. Merkle donkey haffi pull im out. De tiefing public works people dem a collect fe it and nah fix de road. Henyways....... fallow me......look back a yu....yu see which part yu did a come fram?...de funeral home whe yu pass....... tun down pon de road de.

[Wendy]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

Teking a Taxi from Airport

Man#1: Whappen deh boss drop mi pan Oliver street aff Windward Rd deh

Taxi Driva: How far up a Oliver Rd yuh ago boss?

Man#1: Dung a di battam en pass di butcha man shap man

Taxi Driva: Mi naah drive up deh so enoh boss? Mi go deh 2 week ago an some carliss bway hole mi up an teif mi money an gun butt mi ina mi farrid.. Mi naah go up deh soh ..Mi can drap yuh pan Windward Rd an den yuh can walk go weh yuh a goh.

Man#1: Yuh know how far mi havi walk fram Windward Rd star. Just tek di Norman Ave way an cut crass Tinsel Rd man .. yuh cut pass di teifing bway dem.

Taxi Driva: Arite den .. tell mi dah way deh an mi wi si if mi carry up deh.

Man#: Easy ting dat man.Right a RockFort Police station tun aff pan Racthes lane. When yuh reach a di big shop wid di PNP sign pan di door ..tap fi a second mek mi hail up mi brethren dem fram school days.A lang time mi noh si dem bredda deh …dem muss grow ugly noh blow wow

Taxi Driva: A who a yuh betrin dem..mi know some a dem ina dah lane deh good good

Man#: Skinna, Lickle Paul, Trevor and Binzy.

Taxi Drivai whole a dem dead aff.

Man#1: SEY WAH?? A Weh Di Bleese Naught yuh a tell mi sey. Wah kill dem?

Taxi Driva:Police shat dem r***s wan day when dem try fi rab dat same shap weh Ms Tunsie have fi 25 yrs. It sweet mi yuh si.

Man#1am. A weh dem do dat fah man…Well den goh paas di shap an when yuh reach a numba 34 Ratches Lane tap deh so mek mi sey a lickle hello to Auntie June. Nice lickle lady dat..Lang time mi noh si har

Taxi Driva: Shi dead to. Cyar lick har dung a Crossroads.

Man#1: Jesas Chris.. a weh yuh a sey to mi. dat
ooman use to gi mi nuff mango when mi a lickle bway a come fram school enoh.Well yuh suppose to know di ole police man weh live tap side a har ina di big house wid di German Shepard. Wance yuh reach a fi im yaad tap a di nex house weh big farid Donavon live ina.. mi an im use to play ball afta school.

Taxi Driva: Him deh a jail. Rape aff Ms Thomas lickle 16yr ole. Dem nearly kill im to.. a di ole lady side a im affi hide im ina di house til police come fi im.

Taxi Driva: Yuh sure yuh noh waan mi jus drap yuh a Windward Road cause mi noh tink noh baddy lef pan Ratches lane weh yuh know.

Man#1. Mite as well.. mi wi tek di lang walk. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]


PS: A lie di Taxi man a tell ..a troo im neva waan go noh furda dan Windward Rd

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[ILP]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

Topit, Weeiii mi belly!!! Unno mad yuh see!!! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Wendy]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

Mi jus a ketch pan di res a dem ..

DWL @ Zeko, ApplePie an Neutry [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]


Arite ..unu tap it right now because mi belly battam jus drap out. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Venn]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

**True Story**

Man lef Ja gaah farrin an noh goh back a JA fo some 20+ yrs.

man lan a airport an ask taxi driva fi carry im home to im madda yawd.

taxi reach inna di district an pass di yawd gaan way inna di odda district

Man finally tell di driva fi tap mek im ask fi directions.

Farina: excuse mi sar, weh Ms. Mavis house deh?

Ctry man: a weh yaah come fram farrin?

Farina: yes

Ctry man: den a how lang now yuh noh come back yah?

Farina: 20 odd years.

Ctry man: den yuh is who to Ms. Mavis?

Farina: Me's har son.

Ctry man: BOAL....bass man, Ms. Mavis house deh way dung soh enoh, come mek a falla yuh goh show yuh a weh.

Cty man jump inna taxi carry Ms. Mavis son gaah im yawd. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

[Guest]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

Originally posted by neutral:
[qb] me...excuse me,can you tell me the way to get to miss limey.

man...."yah man,mi know a weh,...but tan tuddeh!,yu face look familah enno man,yu fayvah smaddy weh mi know,...yu related to any a de thompson dem....

me....no sir,

him.....a miss limey place yah go,....arrite mek mi tell yu de direckshan......yu sure seh yu no related to egbert tompson dem fram uppah calabash walk....??

me....no sir.

anyway,...miss limey used to live ovah near de ball grung,but hurricane gilbert did pap dung de house,so shi move likkle furdah roun an bild new house pon de hilltap....if yu gwaan dung.....
..bwoy yu fayvah de people dem is a shame,yu sure sure seh yu no related to dem...?

me...no sir.. getting impatient

him...arrite,arrite,mek mi tell yu weh miss limey live now,....when yu go roun de carnah deh, look up pon de hill,a she dat,......bwoy yu is de dead stamp a maas thompson. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [/qb]

Laaawd dis too funny...but yuh kno wah wussa when you have been away for awhile and di person seh, "wait deh Jedi a yuh dat??? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] den gyal yuh no memba mi, [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] yuh noh memba mi veranica so mi an yuh used to stone mango chree a evelin time...(the person look so ole and wrinkly [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] and there you are wid yuh yeye dem wide open wid embarassment )

"Gyal yuh tan bad till yuh cyaan even fine yuh owna granpuppa place..."

[RichD]

Re: Directions Jamaican Style.

Yuh know whey Mr Smith live?
go down da road yah bout 4 chain and yuh will si one big cotton tree wid a likkle rough road tuh in sidda it...is not that road...yuh haffi pass there and yuh will see two shop...stop deh and ask sombody....