What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

[Beluved]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

Originally posted by dacresa:
[qb]
I lied just dis week, [/qb]

yoh nearly kill me.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] if I get you to confess den dat noh good..

Is funny nuff people reading but noh body nah sey nuttin till di suspense kill dem.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

Yeah man.. a sph it go

Oh by the way before I forget...
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MY DISCLAIMER: This record is a snapshot of my *previous* behavior and in no way reflect my current lifestyle. I am a woman of faith, happily married and a mother of a beautiful two year old son. I have repented of my sins and am no longer in the practice of telling lies.
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…now.. Mi catch mi 'fraid same time and awkwardly drag my room- mate in the bathroom to divise an impromptu plan.. She innah di bathroom a crack-up.. Literally My girl ah laugh uncontrollably, an nervously pacing back an forth.. Wait.. Now that I look back I can tell that this ting did really sweet are.. She did love drama..

So mi tell are fi go outside through the suite door and tell im sey mi noh in dere. Mean while my man still out deh ah knock and di knocking is intensifying with every minute..

Den mi hear my man, pan di knocking side, sey.. 'Beluved yoh in dere??' is dat time tings stawt get ugly. Me hear my bwoy innah di room git up an bout fi walk to di door.. Mi push my girl out di suite door and step outtah di bathroom juss in time fi stop my man from opening di door. He look *UPSET* (Did I mention he was a big guy, ball playa) I felt so hot as if I was going to melt into one heap of sweat like they do in the cartoons.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Im look mi square in the face and said.. "What the *juice-my word* is going on!!!"...

I was so *afraid* .. And did I mention, by now, nuff of the residents on my floor were sheepishly peering through the door. (as they always do, usually is me, waiting for any excitement - well dem get dem full dah night deh) :0

OH boy the DRAMA just escalades from there.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[msportmore]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

don't stop [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Andrew]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

Lissen Beluved,

Mi have wok fi duh, but mi cyaan dweet sake ah yuh ah gi piece ah piece ah story.

Juss come wid di whole ting one time noh man? Yuh claim seh yuh ah ooman ah faith, stop torture di ress ah wi an run come wid di res ah drama.....

Lawd, mi pressha ah goh up, see it deh mi haffi goh tek medication sake ah Miss preshuss ah hole back and hole out pon wi......

Run come wid di ress before mi chess tek mi!!

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

[jcanseabee]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

Woooiiieee!!! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] Tenk God fi Salvation! More story please!

[777]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

well one lie that haunts me..
we pastor did tell we to come to church early one sunday, so me deh a *rush*...
Cop clocked me doing *7miles over te speed limit* and a try give me a speeding ticket..
Me grab me sunday hat and prop it pon me head, thinking, and devise a plan fe beg a bly and tell him seh a Sunday school me wayna rush fe go teach.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]ray: and hoping him woulda buy it..
Cop didnt buy it, gave me the ticket still. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]
but u know..
that lie haunts me every time me pass the area and a rush..even to this day..
Haunts me enough, to remind me to *slow* down and do the correct speed limit..cus the same cop could be waiting...again.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[bobby_65]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

Originally posted by Derek:
[qb] I told my girlfriend I was going out for a few drinks with friends but instead, I sneaked Tyra Banks back to my place.

We were 'at it' when Beyonce walked in and burst into tears.

I tried to convice Beyonce that Tyra is my long-time, regular girlfriend. [/qb]

Derek, how dare you lie to your girlfrind like that!!! Telling her that you are going out for a few drinks when it's a known fact that you are tea total would certainly give you away. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[WorshipRaiser]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

Originally posted by littlekay:
[qb] mi no memba [/qb]

Lie!

[WorshipRaiser]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

Originally posted by Beluved:
[qb] My room mate see tings a settle down and was ready to head out when smaddy knock di door…

When she look through the peep hole, she jump back kind of shocked.. And glared at me in pure uttah fear… I knew immediately..

Mi ah tell you.. Dats why yoh must be honest .. Because your lies always come back and bite yoh.. [/qb]

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

Jesus Really Save Eno.

[WorshipRaiser]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

Tank u aych-dee for send me dis link - I woulda nevva laugh so much pan a Friday ya.

Dearly BELUVED - mi no watch soap, mi watch sports and ting. So jus bring de story an when it done it done; mi waan know how u get outta da one ya!

[Hush Darlin]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

Beluved please to come wid de ress a de story
we cannot write ours until you finishes your s

[Beluved]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

Originally posted by Sweetssop:
[qb] Beluved please to come wid de ress a de story
we cannot write ours until you finishes your s [/qb]

Yeah man.. Why is this hard to believe...

I hope aftah mi done breed mi business to di world unnu come wid ie..

… side bar…
((PORTMORE)).. Mi deh bout for a few.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] I just woke up.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] I’m gonna send you something, you edit it and tell me what you think. I may not be online for long but will check mail later.. thanks..


Wey mi did deh..


Alright..

So mi innah di room ah hole back my man and my roommate out innah di hall by now, seemingly not knowing what to say to di onnah one. Because is not too long before mi hear him out deh ah bawl out.. “What di …juice.. my word is going one!!!.. Ya’ll think I’m studip?!?”.. So mi hear my girl tell him.. “Yow, calm down.. I can explain if you calm down.. (she started nervously laffin again .. this was not helping).. obviously my girl don’t know how fi lie..

and I was not having any problems doing so.. well maybe a little… [img]/forums/images/graemlins/70361-embarassed.gif[/img]

So inside things were starting to get hot…. After hearing that now, my man relented and seemed too calm.. You know dem way deh??.. So im sey.. (and I will never forget cause it rip mi through the heart)… “Babe, tell me that *this* is not what I think it is?"….

Instantly mi stawt bawl an juss slide dung di wall I was holding up and slide to the floor.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] (truth being told, is him mi did really check fah from day one but with the long distance and his work schedule mi nevah get fi see him much… )


He was sitting by now with his head in his hands kindah confused like.. Den him grab im coat and head fi the door.. Mi jump up really quick but mi couldn’t stop him dis time, so I didn’t even try…

He opens the door.. and I stood there purley embarrassed.. (the funny ting.. between my roommate and I .. fiwi yeye dem meck one… and she teck aff.. looking back that was funny).. She mussi did go dung di hall were she couldah see clearer and out of harms way.

[Beluved]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

Dem look pan dem one one anneda …my guy from inde di room was very calm but the oddah one was infuriated .. Im look straight pan me and den back at him.. So.. my guy from in di room noh sey one word.. him juss raise him head and kindah nod at him a bit (must be some male communication cause di onddah one kind of calmed down with that) and simply meck ah leff and walk wey dung di hall. Leaving me at the now open door facing my man yah.. No body wasn’t in the hallway by now.. but I know they were all pressing their ears to their doors as I would be.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

He looked at me now, hurt, and said.. “how long has this been going on??..” I didn’t feel like answering but heard myself say.. “I knew him before I knew you.” .. Then he asked.. “Is is serious??..” .. I said.. “It was”.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] (Truth be told, I had only know this guy about two months or so.. met him at a party.. and we had gone out a couple of times, but he was starting to catch feelings .. you know [img]/forums/images/graemlins/70361-embarassed.gif[/img] ).. I felt horrible.. but I brought this on my self.. Den im juss sey.. “Yow, I’m out..” an walk wey.. done…


And that ended the drama.. What you were expecting some thing more.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] I am just glad that they both respected me and sort of like me enough for it not to be too much of an open embarrassment. I am glad I could walk away with some dignity.. but I did switch rooms the next semester.. cause mi noh like people too much innah mi business. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

I bet you want to know what ever .. if anything .. became of the relations.. yeah.. you would want to know.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Now.. I bet nobody have nuttin fi share.. unnu to LIE!!! Tan deh meck ie knam unnu out..

[Leonie]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

oh i thought it would end that one became Mr hubby.
So let mi fst did you ever see them again and if so is it just a laffing matter now. Lawd if that did happen to me mi noh know how mi would a deal with it.

[Leonie]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

Once back in the days in Kingston I was on a JOS and the bus did bruck down and this man who was on the bus said he was going to take a cab and if I was going down town I could get a drive- that was in the days when people were helpful. So when mi reach weh mi going mi tell him tanks and ask how much mi owe him- monetary. The man say oh we could go to the matinee on Friday I said fine, him wasnt up my street but matinee going was ok.
After that I started seeing the man on the bus each morning and we would talk and we would do the Friday thing - matinee and few drinks. Him belly and batty did push out like how mi look now in mi old days. and him did wear Old Spice ( mi cant stand the smell).

Ok to the point, I changed job and started to work in a lawyer office- many lawyers.
One day (mi neva did see him on the bus anymore) the man turn up in the office - guess what him wife worked there and him see mi. The man bust some cold sweat when him see mi mi think him was going to wash weh Duke Street. Mi just a look pan him and a laff in a mi heart cause the fool think mi did a go mek a move and him would have to explain.
Everytime mi memba it mi have to laff- then suppose we were lovers wonda what him would do when him did see mi. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Beluved]

Re: What is the dumbest lie you ever told.

Thank you Leonie for sharing but I don't see how *you* lied in that situation but.. at leat *you* shared...

So yoh mean fi tell mi is ongle me one lie?? Well if ah soh ah..soh