We are getting a divorce.

[Boopie2]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Lord! This is worst than a the soaps! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]
Fine I will tune in Friday that's when all the good stuff is revealed. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[Jah_Mamma]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Originally posted by Boopie2:
[qb] Lord! This is worst than a the soaps! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]
Fine I will tune in Friday that's when all the good stuff is revealed. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [/qb]

I'll prepare the munchies.

Jah_Mamma passes a diet coke to Boopie2 while waiting for the popcorn to pop

[BoundBrook]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

I walk back into the room, the last one to return and I feel all eyes are on me. The eyes were following me as I made the long treck across the room. I gave everyone the What-the-heck-are-you-looking-at!!!! face, crack a huge smile and hide behind my hand. Everyone laughs at my all of he sudden shy behavior and I take my seat. Red grabs my leg and gives it a squeeze (it probably felt like he was wringing out a wet sponge) and my best friend who was on the other side of Red reaches over and pats me on the shoulder.

The TV is turned on and there is my name bigger than life:

BoundBrook Red

The director says action and Stacey and Clinton are about to begin their spiel about the way I dress. I cut them off and address my friends and family. I say, "I would like to take this opportunity to thank every last one of you for being a part of this whole experience. It means so much to me that you are all here, and wanted to help my husband set me up. Please remember that I said this, in case I watch the footage and want to seriously mame you afterwards. Thank you."

There is a big laugh in the room, I felt myself relax and I turned my attention back towards the TV... here we go.

They showed my market research first. I was wearing a pair of sweatpants, one of Red's T-shirts, and OH NO! there was a half chewed pen in my hair!!!

They pause the video before a word is even spoken and I know what is coming from Stacey and Clinton, they are going to ask about the pen. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] They barely get the question out before I tell them that I have been doing some research and it appears to me that it would be more cost effective for me to buy a piece of rawhide or a pig ear to chew on, rather than destroying so many pens. I ask Red to take me to a pet supply store on the way home.

The room is laughing and as Red tells it, it was after I cracked that joke about myself that the floodgates broke. Suddenly, EVERYONE felt comfortable poking fun at me, and the tension in the room was gone. Now, if you ask me, I couldn't tell you most of this part of the story. Is a blur and I am relying heavily on the story being relayed to me from Red and my best friend in order to tell it to you all on the BB.

The show my responses to questions like "How would you describe the style trends in Washington, D.C.?" I said it was impossible, and I really exagerrating the impossible in this statement, to stay on top of the style trends in D.C. I stated that they were always changing and it was too hard to stay on top, so why bother? Sweats and T-shirts were fine with me, I don't work on Capitol hill.

The video is paused and Clinton turns to me and is cracking up. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] He wants to know when the streets of D.C. turned into Paris and the fashion became so hard to keep up with? I said it must have been right around the time I discovered fleece.

To be continued, after I get some much needed sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

[Jah_Mamma]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Sleep! You don't need sleep. I can't wait anymore!

Rest well and if you get up in the middle of the night for a bathroom break and remember something, write it down so we won't miss a thing.

I'll be looking forward to the continuation.

[BoundBrook]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Originally posted by Jah_Mamma:
[qb]
Rest well and if you get up in the middle of the night for a bathroom break and remember something, write it down so we won't miss a thing.
[/qb]

Ok, I will take the pen from my hair.

Goodnight.

[kiwifruit]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

((((((Boundie)))))) you DORK!!!!! I hope you got my txt [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] This is sooooo funny, and could ONLY happen to you! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] hehehhee!!! I have forwarded this link to so many of my friends here, in fact...to all of the 17million sheep in NZ as well...who take exception to the fleece joke [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] Go Red

[QK13]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Fleece??? Sheep???
Kiwi Dahling.... in the states OUR fleece is made from 100% recycled plastic. Tell di sheep doan worry. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[grandma2]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

only a story (((BB))) could tell DWL

[BoundBrook]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Next they move onto my secret footage. This is the part I am most nervous about. It is a strange feeling to know that someone has been following you for weeks and you didn't even have the slightest of an idea. It almost makes you feel violated, but not really...

The opening scene is Red and I walking around the park near our house. We walk every eveing together so trying to remember this particualr walk and they day it occured on was very hard. So far they had only zoomed in on my hair, it was looking quite unkempt.

They zoom out and show the two of us walking hand in hand. DOUBLE OH NO OH NO!!! I am wearing one of Red's huge football jerseys and once again, sweatpants. OH NO!!!!!!!!! This isn't looking good for me. Although, I still thought the first two girls looked far far far worse to me.

The next footage is of me leaving the house in fleece pants, Red's t-shirt, and TRIPLE OH NO OH NO OH NO!!!! The slippers I have owned since I was 20 years old. The entire audience gasps and Red yells out "Yeah, they smell as bad a s they look!" Which, by the way, is entirely not true. Everyone cracks a laugh and the rest of the people in the room join in teasing me. I am just laughing and crying so hard that I can't speak.

I wipe my eyes with the napkin and Clinton asks me if I am crying, but I am still laughing to hard to really answer. I tell him I cry at toilet paper commercials, especially the bears in the woods. Clinton jumps into a chorus of Cha-cha-cha charmin, and I loose it all over again. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

To be continued

[cinnni]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Lord woman..you sure can tell a story with a cliffhanger..well several cliffhangers actually. I am so excited about this I just can't stand it.

[BoundBrook]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Originally posted by kiwi:
[qb] ((((((Boundie)))))) you DORK!!!!! I hope you got my txt [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] This is sooooo funny, and could ONLY happen to you! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] hehehhee!!! I have forwarded this link to so many of my friends here, in fact...to all of the 17million sheep in NZ as well...who take exception to the fleece joke [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] Go Red [/qb]

Kimmy, you are a nut!!! Yes, I got your text message yesterday as I was driving home from work. You almost made me crash my car. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

By the way, it gets much much much much dorkier from here on out. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/70361-embarassed.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[BoundBrook]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Originally posted by mountaingal:
[qb]

Originally posted by BIGRED:
[qb] The only thing, nobody is cutting BB's hair short!! [/qb]

i wondered if you would say that out loud... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]
[/qb]

[img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]

[MsExced]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

This is so much fun...you and Red make such a great couple perfect match!

[BoundBrook]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

Feeling pretty confident that the other nominees were if far more dire need of a makeover than me, I just let loose. I figured I might as well get my few minutes of fame right now, since it will probably be hoochie mamma April that goes to New York.

The video is unpaused and it shows Red and I climbing in his car. Next thing I know there is video from inside the car, it is a close up of my slippers. I realize that this is one of those times that Red had the video camera with him and I am racking my brain trying to figure out where I went that day in my slippers. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

I got my answer.

The next frame is me in the grocery store, picking out my fruit, while Red zooms in on my feet and the slippers that are on them. He was very very very slick about it. We usually seperate once we get to the grocery store, but he had snuck around and found me. He was hiding behind one of the store's displays video taping me squeezing plums and apples while wearing my slippers and a huge pair of fleece pants. There was no way to explain this one. Clinton and Stacey wouldn't care that it was probably about 7:30 on a Saturday morning when Red and I were shopping. They wouldn't want to hear that I literally rolled out of bed, brushed my teeth and went to the store. Forget it, I had no excuse.

You should have heard the audience at this point. They were cracking up and I was too. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img] I didn't think it was possible for me to get a darker shade of red than I already was, but sure enough I did. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

The next clip is ME with the video camera. It was me filming out of the window of the car on the way home from the grocery store. I thought, why the heck are they showing this clip? I couldn't possibly have filmed myself. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] Then it is all crystal clear why they are showing this clip.

I zoom in on a man walking his huge, oversized, fat, mastiff size dog and I start singing at the top of my lungs (remember I thought the video was going to be erased before the camera was given back to Red's uncle) "THESE ARE THE PEOPLE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, IN MY NEIGHBORHOOL, IN MY HEIGHBORHOOOOOOOOOOOOD...." [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] Oh God, the audience is really laughing now. I am listening to myself sing and am wondering if I should audition for American Idol, I mention this to Stacey and Clinton and they just shake their heads.

Onto the interviews that Red gave as well as my best friend and a co-worker....

To be Continued

[dr. bones]

Re: We are getting a divorce.

This story is great, Boundie. I'm sure that picked you over hoochie mama b/c of your personality and sense of humor. Be careful though, you know that they always want to cut your tall hair off on those shows. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]