Is it a Cultural Thing..

[Boopie2]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

Originally posted by Q.K:
[qb] We had a store across from our house owned by Indians and I have to say I never experienced the money on the counter thing. Matter of fact they couldn't do enough for me.

I don't think I've ever experienced anyone putting my change on the counter... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

That is NOT to say that it doesn't happen...

As far as the bullet proof glass... well if I'd been robbed often enuff, I'd have it up too. [/qb]

When I was living in DC we had a chinese carry out called Yums. When it opened I went in and when I saw the bullet proof glass and they way you had to stick your money throw the turnstyle and then get your food through the same turnstyle that threw me for a loop. Across the street we had a Hair supply place, the lady that owned the store was very nice.

We had every other restaurants in the hood with no bulletproof window. If anything, Popeyes would have been robbed more, the way that business is booming and cooking fried chicken until the wee hours of the morning.You were sure you wouldn't get served any leftover food, plus you would get a smile and your change in your hand.

[babydoll]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

Well, here is another spin on the story. Several years ago when I was working Part time at Sears Department store. A couple ladies from one of the African countries came in to shop, they were in the DC area attending some health conference.

What I found really strange is that the woman kept holding my hand while talking to me, I wanted to pull my hand away but she kept rubbing it -- now is that a cultural thing.

[Jazz]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

just wanna share a perspective on this... as moas ah oonu know mi madda is chinese...

my mother and her family are definitely not the touchy feely type... my mother would not EVER kiss even her own kids on the mouth - it was always a peck on the cheek... she would tolerate hugs from us (and itliterally was us hugging her - she never reciprocated) but GOD forbid if somebody from the church or family friend should try to hug her - you would see her ENTIRE body go stiff...

One day I borrowed my sisters blouse and my mother saw me and ordered me to take it off and then the she threw it away - and told us UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER are we to share clothing with anyone even if ah we own blood - she was so angry that she was shaking... you can please beleive that didnt; happen anymore.

I think it's just a culture thing... My mother has NEVER in my life told me the words I LOVE YOU - when i say it to her now when we talk on the phone she gets embarrassed and she'll mutter somethign like "me too" under her breath... Her love was very tangible though - I never doubted that she loved me becasue it was manifest in so many ways...

Chinese are very clannish - Family comes before everything but, they very much like their personal space and touching and so forth is just somehting they are not brought up to do.

So just thought i'd share that with you Nunya -
I personally think it's just a cultural thing.

[djrosen1]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

Originally posted by Boopie2:
[qb]

Originally posted by Q.K:
[qb] As far as the bullet proof glass... well if I'd been robbed often enuff, I'd have it up too. [/qb]

When I was living in DC we had a chinese carry out called Yums. When it opened I went in and when I saw the bullet proof glass and they way you had to stick your money throw the turnstyle and then get your food through the same turnstyle that threw me for a loop.

[SNIP]

We had every other restaurants in the hood with no bulletproof window. If anything, Popeyes would have been robbed more, the way that business is booming and cooking fried chicken until the wee hours of the morning.You were sure you wouldn't get served any leftover food, plus you would get a smile and your change in your hand. [/qb]

Tropical Time, the Jamaican restaurant I patronize at least weekly, has the bulletproof- glass-and-turntable system inside and no drive-through window.

[mangoskin]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

Originally posted by Vi:
[qb] Today...in our time...what people do is not always motivated by how they were raised.

People who constantly deal with the public taking money from them are cautions. Diseases spread through a simple handshake. Money in itself is very unsanitary. People who handle money are educated by their employers of the dangers of handling it. This information makes people very protective and cautious.

Toll booth workers, for example, wear surgical gloves. We've gotten use to it because we understand it's not personal. Store clerks must feel the same need to be careful, unfortunately it is not the practice for them to wear rubber gloves. Not "yet" anyway. So some of them will lay the money on the counter.

It used to bother me...but now I understand..so I carry a small bottle of sanitizer, squirt my hands and move along.

In our times, you do what you have to do. [/qb]

so since the $$ itself is unsanitary..how is putting it on the counter going to protect the shopkeeper from disease?

[Boricua_papi]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

Originally posted by Jazz:
[qb] just wanna share a perspective on this... as moas ah oonu know mi madda is chinese...

my mother and her family are definitely not the touchy feely type... my mother would not EVER kiss even her own kids on the mouth - it was always a peck on the cheek... she would tolerate hugs from us (and itliterally was us hugging her - she never reciprocated) but GOD forbid if somebody from the church or family friend should try to hug her - you would see her ENTIRE body go stiff...

One day I borrowed my sisters blouse and my mother saw me and ordered me to take it off and then the she threw it away - and told us UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER are we to share clothing with anyone even if ah we own blood - she was so angry that she was shaking... you can please beleive that didnt; happen anymore.

I think it's just a culture thing... My mother has NEVER in my life told me the words I LOVE YOU - when i say it to her now when we talk on the phone she gets embarrassed and she'll mutter somethign like "me too" under her breath... Her love was very tangible though - I never doubted that she loved me becasue it was manifest in so many ways...

Chinese are very clannish - Family comes before everything but, they very much like their personal space and touching and so forth is just somehting they are not brought up to do.

So just thought i'd share that with you Nunya -
I personally think it's just a cultural thing. [/qb]

Thanks for relating this Jazz. Perhaps culture plays a large component in determining the nature of interpersonal relations but I am also sure that there exists a "generational" component as well. I have met some young, affectionate Chinese men and women who have only recently been living in the US.

It still bothers me, however, that I hear stories about young asians being disowned by their parents for dating and marrying outside of their culture. It may be an insular society they come from where this kind of reaction is the norm but it still bothers me. Latin culture tends to be much more inclusive when it comes to social interactions with people outside the culture.

[mangoskin]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

Originally posted by B.R.:
[qb] Cut to the core - That behaviour is not common for whites.

If you should conduct a survey you will find that a majority of the complaints are usually lodged by blacks and whites will say they've never had the experience. I've done the survey in my office here, and it was overwhelmingly one-sided. [/qb]

..so what blugiant is saying has much merit...

[mangoskin]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

Originally posted by Jazz:
[qb] just wanna share a perspective on this... as moas ah oonu know mi madda is chinese...

my mother and her family are definitely not the touchy feely type... my mother would not EVER kiss even her own kids on the mouth - it was always a peck on the cheek... she would tolerate hugs from us (and itliterally was us hugging her - she never reciprocated) but GOD forbid if somebody from the church or family friend should try to hug her - you would see her ENTIRE body go stiff...

One day I borrowed my sisters blouse and my mother saw me and ordered me to take it off and then the she threw it away - and told us UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER are we to share clothing with anyone even if ah we own blood - she was so angry that she was shaking... you can please beleive that didnt; happen anymore.

I think it's just a culture thing... My mother has NEVER in my life told me the words I LOVE YOU - when i say it to her now when we talk on the phone she gets embarrassed and she'll mutter somethign like "me too" under her breath... Her love was very tangible though - I never doubted that she loved me becasue it was manifest in so many ways...

Chinese are very clannish - Family comes before everything but, they very much like their personal space and touching and so forth is just somehting they are not brought up to do.

So just thought i'd share that with you Nunya -
I personally think it's just a cultural thing. [/qb]

very interesting,

[Wahalla]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

Sorry... But I spent a few months in China last year... While I might not be an expert on cultural things... Just say to get on a plane in Beijing involves alot of bodily contact.... Peopkle do invade your personal space... Also no one ever not put change in my hand... I was squashezd on transport.... What do I know... Just my perspective totally anectdotal...

[Nunya]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

Thanks for that input Jazz. Let me ask you though: Is your mother rude? Would she be abrupt and dismissive to other people just because?

See, this is what I see more times than not. While most Asian store tenders will place my change on the counter, there is quite a few that will jus drop ie so. Whaddup widdat???

Wahalla regarding the bodily contact thing: I have noticed that too! They will walk right into me over and over again. As though if they keep coming at me I will I dissolve and they'll be able to pass right through.

Like damn. And I know this happens to many folks.

[Boopie2]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

Originally posted by mangoskin:
[qb]

Originally posted by Vi:
[qb] Today...in our time...what people do is not always motivated by how they were raised.

People who constantly deal with the public taking money from them are cautions. Diseases spread through a simple handshake. Money in itself is very unsanitary. People who handle money are educated by their employers of the dangers of handling it. This information makes people very protective and cautious.

Toll booth workers, for example, wear surgical gloves. We've gotten use to it because we understand it's not personal. Store clerks must feel the same need to be careful, unfortunately it is not the practice for them to wear rubber gloves. Not "yet" anyway. So some of them will lay the money on the counter.

It used to bother me...but now I understand..so I carry a small bottle of sanitizer, squirt my hands and move along.

In our times, you do what you have to do. [/qb]

so since the $$ itself is unsanitary..how is putting it on the counter going to protect the shopkeeper from disease? [/qb]

It's just a cop out, if they can take the money with no problems then putting your change in your hand shouldn't make a big difference. anyway how many diseases are in the palms of your hand, fingers are the carriers of germs.

[blugiant]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

Originally posted by Vi:
[qb] Today...in our time...what people do is not always motivated by how they were raised.

People who constantly deal with the public taking money from them are cautions. Diseases spread through a simple handshake. Money in itself is very unsanitary. People who handle money are educated by their employers of the dangers of handling it. This information makes people very protective and cautious.

Toll booth workers, for example, wear surgical gloves. We've gotten use to it because we understand it's not personal. Store clerks must feel the same need to be careful, unfortunately it is not the practice for them to wear rubber gloves. Not "yet" anyway. So some of them will lay the money on the counter.

It used to bother me...but now I understand..so I carry a small bottle of sanitizer, squirt my hands and move along.

In our times, you do what you have to do. [/qb]

mi is a scornful dogg butt mi still treat peole wid respect. sum a de nastiest people a children. sum parents send dem children to school ann no bath dem. mi kno dis cause mi caan smell dem noxious fragrances. sum students even sey dem tink but mi haffi tell de odder students fi leff dem alone. den yu have sum students who parents noh teach dem how fi praperlee clean demselves afta dem yuse de bathroom. mi saprise dat sum madder noh teech dem gal pickney betta. yu haffi see how tri fi cajoles dem fi improve dem hyjeans. mi buy otta mi own packets wetsones, soap ann tissues. mi even go round ann clean de desks ann tables.

even wid all a dat yu noh see mi diss dem students wid poor hyjeans like demma second class people. so mi nah goo fi dat nuncents dat dem caan git whey by saying dat simting is unsanitaree dat why dem doo dissrespectful tings. yu a gawn like laying monee pon a dirtee countar is more sanitaree dan putting de change inna de hand. yu a gawn like de people whey aah handle de money clean demself. whey too quick fi talarate dissrespeck

[Nunya]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

Today I asked the storekeeper why he puts my change on the counter. I was smilingly polite. Very unthreatening.

Suddenly im no speaky English... Im no undastan... an im suddenly discova dat im deaf to boot...

[Boopie2]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

Originally posted by Nunya:
[qb] Today I asked the storekeeper why he puts my change on the counter. I was smilingly polite. Very unthreatening.

Suddenly im no speaky English... Im no undastan... an im suddenly discova dat im deaf to boot... [/qb]

What did you expect a red carpet and your change being put in your hand magically? Stop going into the stinking store.

[Nunya]

Re: Is it a Cultural Thing..

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt.