Starting Over

[Queen]

Ever reached a point in your life where you feel everything is wrong or the time for certain things to change has come?

Ever feel like you're in the wrong field? or got burned out and has lost all interest in your current career or major?

Ever feel like changing your whole life, including where you fellowship, where you work or what you do? Changing your field of study or current career?

How difficult/easy is it to start over? Where does God fit into all of this? What pointers could one give to helping someone start afresh.

[Diplomat]

Re: Starting Over

Interesting questions. Starting over should be relatively easy if one determines they are going in the wrong direction. Unfortunately, it is not always as cut and dried as whether in the areas of love, career, education, and so on, there are variables that has to be factored into the decision making process.

If someone gets to the point where they feel everything is wrong, assuming we are not dealing with a case of depression, then it could be a matter of having flawed perspectives. The challenge of course is to determine if we are comparing ourselves with others and their accomplishments, or whether we have done an inventory on our life and our accomplishments and am not quite satisfied with the results.

I do think there are some people who have developed the habit of coasting through life. They have not/never taken the time to find out what it is that they really want to do with their life, and developed plans to accomplish those goals. Some are stuck in the first job they landed, or one they do not enjoy, and with no forward thinking/planning, they awake one morning and conclude that their life sucks. However having perfected their bad habits, change is as easy as climbing Mount Everest.

From a Christian point of view, I hold Jeremiah 29:11-14a dear to my heart. Here I am reminded: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.  Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the LORD...". Anything that I am pursuing that does not produce a healthy satisfaction and peace of mind, I determine it is not God's will for my life. I do not have all the answers, but I can share some of what has worked for me.

- The first challenge of course is to have one's goals/vision clearly written down and to look at them in light of the Scriptures to ensure they do not require deviation from the Word to achieve. Having done so, commit them to God.
- The second is to develop a clear, measurable, and attainable plan of action for each defined goal.
- Understand the reasons you are doing what you are doing. If you are not convinced of it, there is no point pursuing it.
- Finding someone you trust and respect to hold you accountable, if you are lacking personal discipline, is advisable.
- Sorround yourself with people who will encourage you in the healthy pursuit of your goals. Shed the negative friends.
- Trust the inner voice for guidance. Of course, if this trust is not in place it will have to be developed.

It sure differs with each person, but starting over does not have to be as difficult as it often seems. In the areas I have started over - academics, career, to name a few - I have discovered the rewards, tangible and intangible, of being truly satisfied far outweighs the "cost". Life is too short for anyone to be stuck in a rut, and frankly, it is a waste of a life. "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." (John 10:10) We should not be willing to settle for anything less and should change anything that does not allow for that.

[Dr.Dudd]

Re: Starting Over

QUEEN ststed:Ever reached a point in your life where you feel everything is wrong or the time for certain things to change has come?

Ever feel like you're in the wrong field? or got burned out and has lost all interest in your current career or major?

Ever feel like changing your whole life, including where you fellowship, where you work or what you do? Changing your field of study or current career?

How difficult/easy is it to start over? Where does God fit into all of this? What pointers could one give to helping someone start afresh.

Dudd: you need a 3 week vacation with at least 1 week in the mountains during which the answer will be so clear,you will be in awe.

[Queen]

Re: Starting Over

[qb]Life is too short for anyone to be stuck in a rut, and frankly, it is a waste of a life.[/qb]

CEW, thanks for your response; the above quote speaks volumes there's a lot of wisdom in your post; a lot to digest.

Dr. Dudd - you're funny [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Diplomat]

Re: Starting Over

Originally posted by Queen:

Life is too short for anyone to be stuck in a rut, and frankly, it is a waste of a life.

CEW, thanks for your response; the above quote speaks volumes there's a lot of wisdom in your post; a lot to digest.

I am glad you found it useful. For a while I wasn't sure I was even making sense to anybody but myself [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] .

[DC]

Re: Starting Over

I think CEW has this well covered so I don't really have anything much to add. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] -real practical christian advice.

Dr Dudd suggests a place to go and prayerfully reflect on these nuggests of wisdom. Not such a bad idea! Sometimes it is good to get away to a place of solitude and quietly reflect. It does help your thoughts focus with more clarity-without the demands of everyday life.

I had to take time out once to think deeply about a change in my choice of education/field of study. As a result, I changed my education path, college of choice, place of worship within a year-a 360 degrees complete turn around-the best move I had ever made in my life [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
I took time out and actively pursued some of CEW's steps(not quite in the same order) but I came through the maze of confusion and unrest and now I am fulfilled in my career/profession-feeling total peace that this is what God wants me to do and loving every minute of it. My life has never been the same and it was truly an adventurous one. If I did not take time to reflect on that change I am not sure I would be talking to you today [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
So, perhaps God have something up his sleeve for you(in the spiritual sense) but in the practical sense CEW says it best" Life is too short". No sense in one being unhappy where they are and staying in that unhappy circumstance.

"Trust the inner voice for guidance"-is of great importance. And also look at the various ordinary ways God speaks-through a casual conversation, a song from your cd etc.-pay extra keen attention to looking for the extra ordinary within the ordinary because God does not necessarily will write on the wall or in the skies. Be prepared to take risks.

For me it was not necessarily starting over. It was a continuation of my journey but I just readjusted my bagpack,threw some stuff out(lighten my load), picked up a couple more interesting things that I did not realize I was gonna need, changed my shoes [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] and continued on my merry way [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] .

I am bearing in mind that we all are different and God relates to each of us differently so all of this is not 'cut in the stone'-so to speak.
Just an encouragement. Be praying with ya.. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Guest]

Re: Starting Over

Hey (((Queen))) you are really serious huh? *Sigh* Dr. Dudd is not too far off at all, being able to clear your mind is very important to making major decisions. I have gone on many retreats throughout the years starting from about 1997, and truly I have come back rested and with a very clear perspective.

I agree with CEW that life is too short to waste. Thing is with me, I want something that will interest me, use my talents and pay me as much or more than my current job. But major stumbling blocks that can deter us are first of all having the faith to jump off, fear of taking a risk and fear of failure. For me right now money does pose somewhat of a problem but then again I haven't researched my options thoroughly as yet. That is a must to getting started on any new venture-weighing the risk then if you will.

Listen let us hold each other in prayer on this as I know how it feels to feel not quite there.
On the other hand I was listening to a program the other morning on careers and the woman made an interesting comment she said, "we will never find complete satisfaction in any job, jobs serve their purpose, rather we should seek to find satisfaction in God and put careers in their appropriate place, which is something to do with our hands as said in the book of Ecclesiates - "Whatever you find for your hands to do do it with all your might." Our main concern should be to please God with all our hearts and our minds." To me however it would seem that having a radiant countenance before God via job satisfaction would be pleasing to God. On the other hand we have to be careful that we are not seeking something to take our attention from our first love, jobs can become all consuming and can replace God, family and all else if we let it.

Hmmm! Prayer is needed on this one.

[Dailybread]

Re: Starting Over

Originally posted by Jedi l:
I agree with (((CEW))) that a life is too short to waste. Thing is with me, I want something that will interest me, use my talents and pay me as much or more than my current job. But major stumbling blocks that can deter us are first of all having the faith to jump off, fear of taking a risk and fear of failure. For me right not money does pose somewhat of a problem but then again as I haven't researched my options thoroughly as yet. That is a must to getting started on any new venture-weighing the risk then if you will.

2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

[Guest]

Re: Starting Over

Originally posted by Dailybread:
[qb]

Originally posted by Jedi l:
I agree with (((CEW))) that a life is too short to waste. Thing is with me, I want something that will interest me, use my talents and pay me as much or more than my current job. But major stumbling blocks that can deter us are first of all having the faith to jump off, fear of taking a risk and fear of failure. For me right not money does pose somewhat of a problem but then again as I haven't researched my options thoroughly as yet. That is a must to getting started on any new venture-weighing the risk then if you will.

2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. [/qb]

That's right DB [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[Diplomat]

Re: Starting Over

Originally posted by Dailybread:
2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

OK...I have been resisting but I can't [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] . What is/are the lesson(s) in that verse? In other words, what does it mean?

[Guest]

Re: Starting Over

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

Originally posted by Dailybread:
2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

OK...I have been resisting but I can't [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] . What is/are the lesson(s) in that verse? In other words, what does it mean? [/qb]

See I overcame that temptation...DWL [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[Dailybread]

Re: Starting Over

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

Originally posted by Dailybread:
2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

OK...I have been resisting but I can't [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] . What is/are the lesson(s) in that verse? In other words, what does it mean? [/qb]

CEW, you are too funny... You couldn't resist?

[Diplomat]

Re: Starting Over

Originally posted by Dailybread:
CEW, you are too funny... You couldn't resist?

It is my fasting day and I guess the devil finally made me do something I was resisting [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Dailybread]

Re: Starting Over

Originally posted by CEW:
[qb]

Originally posted by Dailybread:
CEW, you are too funny... You couldn't resist?

It is my fasting day and I guess the devil finally made me do something I was resisting [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [/qb]

CEW, what do you think it means? YOu have me thinking now.

[Queen]

Re: Starting Over

Thanks for you input all. DC you mentioned something about not really starting over, but doing things a little differently. I'm actually thinking of a modified version of my career path, but it will take a lot of work, which I don't mind. I have some specific questions for you but my computer is acting up. I may send a PM and or come back later this evening with questions.