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It's been three months since my last escape to Jamaica in April. Three months too many. I was supposed to go with my friend Paul from work, but in spite of trying to coordinate, our work schedules wouldn't allow it. So a couple of days before I was supposed to leave, I call my old friend from college, Makeda [who happens to be a pilot at the same airline as me] and since she's never been to Jamaica, but heard me talking about it ever since we've known each other, she decided to find out "what is it with you and your Jamaica!".
Since she lives in Detroit now, we planned to meet at the Memphis Airport on the day of departure. As I am not a morning person, and the only daily nonstop flight from Memphis to MoBay is, I had a hard time getting up in the morning, and arrived 30 minutes before the 830am departure. I find Makeda at the gate, and the look on her face tells me something is wrong. She says she doesn't think we're gonna be able to go cause the lady at the counter was giving her problems. Since unfortunately there aren't too many black AND female airline pilots in this country [yet!], the agents always assume she's a flight attendant and don't want to sign her up for the pilot jumpseat. I go to the counter and the lady tells me "You can't go". Now you don't tell Magic he can't go to his Jamaica, especially not early in the morning! She said only one "offline" pilot is allowed to catch a free ride in the jumpseat. She wouldn't listen to me explaining that we are not "Offline" and the big red N on my id proves it! After realizing I am not moving from her counter, she called for her supervisor who told her to check us in! Ha! At no point did she open my passport. If I was FAA that would be a $25,000 fine for the airline. You'd think they'd put more competent personnel on the only international departure out of Memphis that morning!
My anger subsided once on board and through the loudspeakers I was reminded that we are, indeed, going to MoBay now. Life is good. Since the MEM-MBJ route opened last November, the market was mostly connection tourists, and not too many of them in the summer. I noticed there are more Jamaicans on the flights now, which is a good thing, means that the route is getting stronger and shouldn't be canceled. The flights were also full. Good for business, bad for me.
Two hours, fifty-one minutes later we softly touch down on Runway 7. People clap. You know there are Jamaicans on board if you hear clapping. Americans don't clap. They don't know that a smooth landing in MoBay is not a common occurrence with the strong trade winds and potholes in the runway!
As soon as doors are open the whole plane fills with warm, humid,
rich, sweet, calming Jamaican air. My dream is quickly interrupted
by the fact that our carryons are in an
overhead bin in that direction ---> and the flow of people is in this direction <---
Needles to say we had to sit down and wait. The only time I rush in Jamaica is when you get off the plane and try to get to immigration before the other 500 people get there. And in my way are a large group of people blocking the way. Turns out they are taking a picture next to a sign that says "Gate 5, MoBay Jamaica". Lard ave mercy, mi bus out laughin so hard at de fool fool tourist dem! They got here 3 minutes ago and must take picture of airport wall! Of all things to take picture off in Jamaica they have to capture image of wall!
We make our way through and find the immigration hall filled with people. The lines are 25 people long in the front and by the time you reach the last desk there is nobody there. Now why the 25 people in line 1 don't realize there is no wait in line 15 I'll never understand, but I wasn't going to tell them.
First stop restroom. We have to jumpseat in uniform, and that had to go. I find the men's room out of service, and a airport guy point me to the ladies room saying "yes boss, everybody use eet". Only in Jamaica. I'm reluctant to enter the ladies room, but inside I find both man and women casually going about their business. I take off and bury my watch deep into the suitcase. It tells time and date. Both of which are eating away at my short stay on the Island. I don't need to be reminded!
We are now going to Negril. One of my roomates George, a yardie himself, said "Magic just don't take her on a minibus, it her first time!". I was not gonna go on no tourist bus and pay $20US to be freezing in air-conditioning so minibus it is. To get to the bus yard in town you need a cab, and this is the part I hate. All airports worldwide are known for high fares, but I'm not an easy target. First I set them straight that "mi nuh dyam tourist, so nuh chyarge mi nuh mark up fare!". Because I wasn't going to pay no $10US to go to town, especially knowing that the fare is 30J just as soon as you leave the airport. I finally settle for 200J [$4 something US] for the two of us and off we go.
Since she lives in Detroit now, we planned to meet at the Memphis Airport on the day of departure. As I am not a morning person, and the only daily nonstop flight from Memphis to MoBay is, I had a hard time getting up in the morning, and arrived 30 minutes before the 830am departure. I find Makeda at the gate, and the look on her face tells me something is wrong. She says she doesn't think we're gonna be able to go cause the lady at the counter was giving her problems. Since unfortunately there aren't too many black AND female airline pilots in this country [yet!], the agents always assume she's a flight attendant and don't want to sign her up for the pilot jumpseat. I go to the counter and the lady tells me "You can't go". Now you don't tell Magic he can't go to his Jamaica, especially not early in the morning! She said only one "offline" pilot is allowed to catch a free ride in the jumpseat. She wouldn't listen to me explaining that we are not "Offline" and the big red N on my id proves it! After realizing I am not moving from her counter, she called for her supervisor who told her to check us in! Ha! At no point did she open my passport. If I was FAA that would be a $25,000 fine for the airline. You'd think they'd put more competent personnel on the only international departure out of Memphis that morning!
My anger subsided once on board and through the loudspeakers I was reminded that we are, indeed, going to MoBay now. Life is good. Since the MEM-MBJ route opened last November, the market was mostly connection tourists, and not too many of them in the summer. I noticed there are more Jamaicans on the flights now, which is a good thing, means that the route is getting stronger and shouldn't be canceled. The flights were also full. Good for business, bad for me.
Two hours, fifty-one minutes later we softly touch down on Runway 7. People clap. You know there are Jamaicans on board if you hear clapping. Americans don't clap. They don't know that a smooth landing in MoBay is not a common occurrence with the strong trade winds and potholes in the runway!
As soon as doors are open the whole plane fills with warm, humid,
rich, sweet, calming Jamaican air. My dream is quickly interrupted
by the fact that our carryons are in an
overhead bin in that direction ---> and the flow of people is in this direction <---
Needles to say we had to sit down and wait. The only time I rush in Jamaica is when you get off the plane and try to get to immigration before the other 500 people get there. And in my way are a large group of people blocking the way. Turns out they are taking a picture next to a sign that says "Gate 5, MoBay Jamaica". Lard ave mercy, mi bus out laughin so hard at de fool fool tourist dem! They got here 3 minutes ago and must take picture of airport wall! Of all things to take picture off in Jamaica they have to capture image of wall!
We make our way through and find the immigration hall filled with people. The lines are 25 people long in the front and by the time you reach the last desk there is nobody there. Now why the 25 people in line 1 don't realize there is no wait in line 15 I'll never understand, but I wasn't going to tell them.
First stop restroom. We have to jumpseat in uniform, and that had to go. I find the men's room out of service, and a airport guy point me to the ladies room saying "yes boss, everybody use eet". Only in Jamaica. I'm reluctant to enter the ladies room, but inside I find both man and women casually going about their business. I take off and bury my watch deep into the suitcase. It tells time and date. Both of which are eating away at my short stay on the Island. I don't need to be reminded!
We are now going to Negril. One of my roomates George, a yardie himself, said "Magic just don't take her on a minibus, it her first time!". I was not gonna go on no tourist bus and pay $20US to be freezing in air-conditioning so minibus it is. To get to the bus yard in town you need a cab, and this is the part I hate. All airports worldwide are known for high fares, but I'm not an easy target. First I set them straight that "mi nuh dyam tourist, so nuh chyarge mi nuh mark up fare!". Because I wasn't going to pay no $10US to go to town, especially knowing that the fare is 30J just as soon as you leave the airport. I finally settle for 200J [$4 something US] for the two of us and off we go.
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