Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

[Marilyn]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

After some rest, Marshall comes to drive us to Amnesia. I guess you will have to read Vi's report or Napi's to get details on this night, because for me, they don't call it Amnesia for nothing.

I do remember that the guy at the security gate near my most favorite jerk stand had asked me to bring him a baseball cap from my counrty. I had chosen a Tennesse Titan's cap for him. When the van pulled up, I got out and presented it to him. You would have thought it was gold, franchense.

Why is Amnesia so empty? I guess all things a cyclical and depend on who is in town. The main dance floor where all the really hot dancehall dancing occurs is empty and stays so the rest of the nignt. I am disappointed because the girls can in no way get the full extent of Amnesia without that, but oh well.

The new expansion outside and the stage draws people there, and after all, it had always been my most favorite part anyway.

Vi, did I dance that night? Hell if I can remember. We were really throwing them back at Thanksgiving dinner.

I know that Marshall did this, he stood a respectful, yet proximity distance from me and gave me some space. He didn't act like he was my "date", adn just danced by himself. Still I don't remember particularly dancing with anyone.

At the end of my rope I had to go home, but it was ok with me for everyone else to just stay if they liked. Oh no, Marshall was NOT going to leave his Vi behind. No amount of me or Vi arguing with him that she was a big girl and that she had been left at Amnesia before would do. I mean it got UGLY. Worse yet, when we got home Vi was mad at ME. Wha mi do?????? I guess cause I brought Daddy Marshall into her life huh?

Man the next morning she was still kinda giving me the silent treatment. But VI, I tried to get Mr. Unreasonable to back off. Marshall, you gotta give him credit, he protects his girls.

Well ok Vi once again. Mi sarry about the gestapo driver, but mi love him bad bad.

Hennyway, we got a lot more partying in nuh tru?

[Rasta Stan]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

Here is one of "The Divine Ms M" dancing up a storm. Sorry Marilyn I couldn't resist. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Marilyn]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

Stan I can't see it, I'm at work and you must have it on snapfish.

[Rasta Stan]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

True dat , it's on snapfish...check it out when ya get home.

[Marilyn]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

There always comes that turning point in a trip when you know you are on the downslide to home. Fatti Boom boom and cousin Bev. spent that night with us up in A-7 as they are to journey to Kingston this morning. So last night,we were six deep in A-7. I bunked with Vi and left Fatti and Bev have my room.

I am the first up as usual and go to my perch on the love seat that I have turned around to face the window instead of having it's back to it.

This becomes the throne for whichever queen gets up first in the morning. You sit there with the gaggle of clouds forming on the horizon to welcome the sun and reflect on your trip, your life. It becomes Vi's favorite spot to write, and many times the two of us sitting there near each other, just sit and stare and drink it all in.

Vi has burned several old old tunes on CD and this becomes the theme music for our magical vacation. Many times one of my very very old favorites will come on the stereo taking me back to younger, happier, meloncholy days and forming a bridge between that life and the one that has discovered JAMAICA.

Never you mind if I
Don't tell strangers passing by
If I don't brag, If I don't brag or boast
Lift my glass and say a toast
About my love for you
How we burn so deep and true
And it is so
Cause don't you
Still waters run deep....

Oh man when I was a pouting teen and had saved enough money from a summer job to buy my first stereo, I set the arm so that it would play this same record over and over and over and over.

I put it on real soft and drifted off to sleep every night to this one song. It just spoke to me. But why did it have to come on the stereo now in my happy Jamaica reminding me of a time when I was young,confused, and loved way to hard, all the wrong boys? Then it occcured to me that I am older, confused, and love all the wrong MEN.

Maybe in retrospect that is what set it all off, the theme for that day. Maybe it triggered some strange hormone that took over, shadows of the days to come. That song taking me back to a moody, petulant time in my life.

After Fatti and Bev got up, we all talked in the living room, and then Marshall arrived to take them to Kingston. I hope he allows them to go to the bathroom..geez.

It was shortly after they cleared the door that I felt it rear it's ugly head. One of the symptoms of menopause in some women is anxiety attacks. Little monsters that come from no where,for no reason to steal your joy. Like Don Quxiote you can rail your sword and try to fight them, but it is like fighting a windmill. You cannot win.

I think it is a temporary chemical imbalance, hormones that dance a devil dance for a while, but this morning it dropped like a swift curtain. Oh no, not today, not now, not in Jamaica, not in front of the girls, NOT on the day we are going to see Bob.

Angie and Tony arrive to pick us up and I slowly feel myself falling into an abyss. I fight with all of my might, but my mood overshadows the mood of everyone else. The girls become silent and glance at each other and then pitifully at me. I see them in my periphical vision and try with all of my might to fight the deamon.

[Laurel]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

It really is a great shot - it is the one with the white twinkle lights and you dancin in your red halter dress ... hips swaying one way - skirt flowing the other way. You are 'ON'!!

[StarGirl]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

they don't call it Amnesia for nothing.

So true Marilyn.... Amnesia is my favorite place to go in Ochi, but I cant really explain why or tell you what happens once I'm there.

[sammy]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

you are doing a great job...keep it coming [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Vi]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

Oh Marilyn...that was a difficult morning for you, but you did good. Me luv u bad, sis!

((((((Marilyn)))))

[Marilyn]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

We rode to a little methodist pre-school on main street Ochii to drop off a BIG load of school supplies that the girls had brought. I can't tell you how much it was and have NO idea how they got it all to Jamaica, but it was a ship load. I had asked them to give it to the little Methodist school because I am Methodist (yeah I belong to a church, stop smirking), and they agreed.

When we arrived the precious little ones were everywhere, must be recess time. We all had to fight the urge to go back to the van for our cameras, but without even talking about this, we had silently communicated to each other that this was NOT a photo op.

Two little girls in navy blue pleated pinafores run innocently up to the fence to the strangers. All I can think about is how in the US we have to train our children to run from everyone and trust no one. This wide-eyed contrast was not lost on me

"Where is your teacher? Could you go and get your teacher for us?"

Teacher!!!!
Teacher!!!!

They run to get someone, but as we wait in the hot sun, no adult is to be seen nor comes forward.

Once again, this is not lost on me. Thinking of how in my profession here in the US we are security minded at all times, and all of the lawsuits that can ensue, how can they be left so open. But I have to remind myself, it ain't my country.

Finally we decide to open the gate and just go in. We are well into the building before a lady who says she is the principal meets us. Once again, my mind is racing....we could have snatched one of these precious little ones.....we could have......

I introduce myself and explain that the two young ladies with me had brought all of this bounty to the school. The principal sort of looks at us at though she cannot understand how we found our way to her doorstep with all of this. Slowly she begins to warm up and Angie asks her what they will need in the future.

"Anything schools use." Says the principal.

She does eventually tell us though that modeling clay in various colors it the prized item. Just throwing that out to future givers.

WHile we are there little ones creep curiously around looking at the strangers. This little interlude had made a small dent in my depression and I am feeling slightly better, how could you not?

After a while we go to exit the building only to come upon two tourist who have invaded the school yard and are feverishly snapping pictures of the cute little black children. They are in their mid-sixties. He had on one of those flowered shirts, shorts that show pale legs with tennis shoes and black dress knee socks. She had on a shorts outfit and a flower print over-sized hat with a very large bill to shield her from the sun.

As the children discover that pictures are being taken, then run in stampede toward the couple. Two little boys fall in the dirt in their immaculate uniforms and are trampled by the herd running toward the couple to get their pictures taken. Their bodies make a loud sickening thud as they hit the ground. They jusmp up, dust themselves off and run to Mr. and Mrs. National Geographic.

The couple is now surrounded by 30 or so little cherubs ages 2-5. The wife is turning from child to child touching them and smiling. Mr. Geographic is shoving the camera in each little face and snapping away.

My crew is standing stark still in horror taking in this scene. Tony, our driver, looks distressed, this after all, IS his country. Everyone had gotten into the van except the two of us, and he is muttering. "Where is their teacher? She is near by but not stopping this."

I am thinking. These are someone's children. I know that people snap pictures of them as they walk along the street, but somehow breaching the sanctity of their school yard seems like a violation to me. Even if you took them from the street with a zoom lens that would be a little more acceptable.

I get into the van, and then with decisive action, mostly having Tony's words ringing in my ears, I get back out. I go over to Mr. and Mrs. Geographic and tell them." You have to leave, and you have to leave now."

I then usher them, still wearing follish grins on their faces and content that they have enough pictures anyway, to the gate, close it and see that they head on down the street.

The little good mood that had returned to me was gone, and I am altogether furious and feeling violated. This incident is what changed my outlook on taking pictures in Jamaica. I am also reflecting on some recent posts that contained violations of the privacy of these people, yeah MY people, and my mood deepened.

We continue through town to get some things. Tony stops near a byou to pick up something and I suddenly feel like I am suffocating. I HAVE to get out of the van, if but for a second. I step out onto the street and the tightness in my chest lifts a little. I want to strangle Mr. and Mrs. Geographic, I wonder if women commit murder under the strain of this imbalance. If not for moral rearing acting as the counter to this, I can see where it would be possible,

We get back in the van and travel to get Stripes and Tings and water for the journey to Nine Mile. Angie prescribes a Stripe for me, but I turn it down, as something inside tells me it would send me over the edge.

[loops]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

The little good mood that had returned to me was gone, and I am altogether furious and feeling violated. This incident is what changed my outlook on taking pictures in Jamaica. I am also reflecting on some recent posts that contained violations of the privacy of these people, yeah MY people, and my mood deepened.

as usual...your message is quite clear....

GROANNNNNNNNNNN.

[Marilyn]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

Loops
EVery SINGLE time I mention that I am black as well as the Jamaican people you come into my post and have something to say to me about it. We have also spoken of this in PM as well. Many people on this board have made similar remarks in their reports, namely Napi, and Sugar Shug, and many others, but I notice it is only me that you address this issue with.

Hear me clearly.....I AM BLACK....The Jamaicans that I am referring to are BLACK. YOU are not Black. Please go back over to one of the many reports you are interested in and groan there.

[loops]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

who said ANYTHING about blackness? Certainly not me....just so happens...that is not what i took issue with....but then...


why do you use your report to make comments about the propriety of others? we all make choices...

[wandaweberg]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

Quoting Marilyn
"Wanda- Sorry I missed you in Negirl, but the thought of that ride was just too daunting for us, and I would rather show the girls Negril the proper way in july."

I totally understand. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]


Marilyn post
"She does eventually tell us though that modeling clay in various colors it the prized item. Just throwing that out to future givers."

Oh, thanks Marilyn - I was just standing in Michael's last night wondering about that very thing.

[Marilyn]

Re: Ochi - Trip Number 14, The Solo Dance

Moving right along.....

It is silent in van on the way to Nine Mile. This thing has deepened to the point where I have to put my hand on Angie's shoulder in the seat in front of me and she has to hold my hand over her shoulder. The comfort of her hand and a temporary sqeeze here and there let me know that she is there. The girls looked pained and wish that they could help Auntie Marilyn somehow and all I wish is that this would go away,because I did NOT ask for it.

Not even the beautiful vistas out of the window can ease my pain. I want God to reach into the van with his mighty hand in the fabulous land and make it all got away. The trip to Nine Mile is a spirutal thing and I want his spirit to soothe me. Right now this thing is in a holding pattern, not getting worse, not getting better, much like a plane that has to circle the airport waiting on clearance to land.

When we arrive at Nine Mile the little children who used to hang around are no where to be found, and I attribute that to school being in session. Instead there are grown men outside the gate who reach into the van and say whatever it is they say.

WHen I arrive, some rasta grabs me and starts to recite all of these lovely poems to me. It is all I can do to look at him and act intested. Pay attention Marilyn, maybe something he says will help.

Angie has gone to the coffee shop, and the girls have gone on the tour. Construction is going on everywhere at Nine Mile. Fake waterfalls and being built and luxury suites for the rich and famous that will rent for $400.00 a night are being built and decorated. Sterling silver doors, sterling silver chest of drawers, jacuzzis, Lord help me, what would Bob think.

I cannot come to see you this time. I cannot. In my mood, coming to your grave will surely send me over the top, but I am here, do you feel me, do you see me? I feel you. I am at the holy gate, but I cannot come in,for if I do, they may have to lay me on top of you.

I find Angie at the coffee shop where she sits silently. I sit down and the video about Bob's life is droaning on on the TV monitor. The bar maid is nearby, and a rasta stands not far away.

Suddenly this voice says. "just cry. have a good cry and it will all be over and you will feel better." So the tears start to slide and a look of true concern comes over Angie's face. The tears quicken, and at that moment on the video Bob starts to sing "No WOman NO Cry."

The Rasta man runs over to me and puts his arm on my shoulder, 'There there, I know it's ard on you. But listen to Bob, em say No WOman No Cry, you do what Bob says. Mi kno you miss em, we all do, it is ard. But Bob says, No Woman No Cry. Can I get you something?"

"Water"

"Hookay. wan wata for di lady."

I really let loose now, since I have an "excuse", I am in mourning for Bob and it is ok to cry my eyes out. After my cary and my water, and a tour of the luxury rooms, the veil starts to lift.