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Hi all.. I tried to get out of writing the Suss and it neva work [img]/forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] ..Poor me. So I take pleasure in bring you this week’s Suss set in a factory. Tanks to some lunatic on the board I have gone into having animals speak (Dear faada help us [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] ). I am also pleased to see I was able to add lot of new faces to the report. Enjoy!!
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It was a typical morning at Boardlane Freezone garment factory. The employees were slowly settling in for what was to be a very busy Monday morning at the office.
The first order of the day was roll call conducted by Shift Supervisor. All present employees raised there hands as she checked off the names. She noticed there were a few missing.
Antoinette: Where is Tina, Jamin, bahajah20, kaye-kaye, Hottie, Tina, Jamdown3, Kuddles, Sistagirl ? (seemingly angry she began to complain) But a wha do dem black people mek dem caan kip time sah. Imagine fus shift start 8’aclack pon di dot an mi dis come in yah roun10’aclack an all now dem blastid lazy *** no ketch yah yet! Not fi hell dem wi kip up wid di res a di worl!!
Lostboy: Ms Antoinette one ting yuh have to realize is dat black people clack stay pon one time Wi go strictly by CPT (Colored people time).. if yuh ask mi a di res a worl need fi kip up wid wi.. a time now dem cut out dat Daylight saving time foolishness! A white man time dat
Jamin1: (running around the bend and panting) SI MI YAH! Sarry mi late but mi galfren mosh mi up last night..Ms Anotinette di ooman have mi a wok har til six aclack dis marning.. If yuh noh believe me look pon mi han dem..yuh si di rope mark dem?? Di ooman tie mi up to rahtid an woulda kill mi wid wok! Look pon mi back how it scratch up. Gad know mi tink mi si di mark a di beast last night an only Gad know how mi survive fi tell disyah story!
Pepper: Jamin... Bway tap di fart ina mi ears ole ina di marning yuh hear..yuh musi tink sey wi a ediot inyah. Move an gwey wid yuh ole liad self. Every mar ning yuh come inyah late an diferent story bout dat gal yuh deh wid.Who yuh tink yuh a fool anybady wid dat deh cack an bull story bout ooman have yuh bandage whole night... (laughter from the crowd)
Jammin1: Yuh se how uunu ooman tan..uunu tink sey because mi is a man, oomon cant tek advantage of mi...ah how uunu stay suh? If yuh did see dat big stropping gyal unu woulda a call ambulance fi mi right now ..unu galang!
Anotinette: Airight jammin1..mi wi excuse yuh jus as long as dat mad bull yuh a sleep wid is nat a white ooman ..cause mi know some a unu black man love deh wid some rugged batta batta white women wid all 10 pickney..
Kuddles: (appears suddenly) Here! Present! ..sarry mi jus a come. It tek lang fi chiney bump mi hair dis marning.
Antoinette: Airight wi naah wait pon di res a dem. EVERYBODY GET TO WORK!! …
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At the Assembly Line
Like a typical work day at the factory, the workers worked their machines at the assemble line while chatting with each other to help the work day go by faster.
PinkeyLou: Marning deh Churchie ..How yuh do?
Churchgirl: Jus Aneda day pon di ole wok yah .. gal but deh yah a tek in di likkle coolie gal ova deh so how har face white like chalk but rouna har yeye an mouth black lacka char coal. Mi have afeeling a bleach shi a bleach har face yuh noh Pinkey
Pinkeylou: It look soh fi troot ..shi noh know how shi have it good . Shi di deh a bleach when me a bun up ina sun fi get dark! Dark skin is Gad blessen A bet sey shi nat even know sey Gad bless har wid sinting name Melanin.
Churchgirl: Milanen??A wah dat now Pinkey?
PinkeyLou: Cho girl .Melanin a wha Gad give dark skin people fi mek dem skin noh look jookie jookie an ugly like jackfruit skin.
The Indian lady walks over to and stands up close to Churie’s face and rants:
Musso: Hey Chinney gal yuh tink mi noh hear yuh ova yah a call mi Bleach skin Coolie. Yuh noh have noh common decency an yuh is nutten but a low class arrogant **sshole!
Churchgirl: Yuh kow wah Musso mi sarry fi mash yuh carn but who are you to call smaddy low class. Come ouuta mi face yuh ole dutty coolie negga!
PinkeyLou: (stepping in between the two) Musso relax an cool yuh foot. Shi jus a show cancern fi yuh cause yuh have such a nice pretty dark skin an yuh tek bleaching cream an bun up yuhself an yuh mout carna noh match yuh skin cola. Yuh a di fuss coolie mi si wid so much skin shade to blurt naught
Musso: So yuh a call mi coolie to?!! Suppose mi fi call yuh a dunce bean belly coconut and a big nose camel jockey..how yuh woulda feel?
PinkeyLou: Gal noh mek mi affi trace yuh aff in a brakaa workplace tidey yaah. Troo yuh si mi so light skin ..mi well black pon di inside yuhnoh ..mi wi tell yuh ***** whe yuh neva hear bout fram yuh barn!
KLH: (interrupting) Lawd unu tap it so early ina di marning .. Musso, how yuh tan soh …noh yuh mi hear jus cawl Churchie ‘Chiney gal’..what’s di difference if shi call yuh coolie
Churchgirl: Double standard KLH ..double standad di coolie gal a kip up!
KLH: Ah-rite. Unnoo dun di argument before mi call in di big boss fi sen di whole a unu a unu yaad ..mi dead serious an' mi nuh give a &#$% whe nuh baddy tink,
Slick: ( talking over the ladies)Have Merci ..look whe mi live si dowe eeh..Black people a tun white and white people an tun black all wha a go happen now is bare reverse discrimatian!
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A few minutes had passed and one of the employees went to use the bathroom. In the bathroom she noticed a lump of hair had stopped the sink and the water was overflowing to the floor . She left the bathroom in disgust:
Jooks: Look yah noh ..unu lissen up! A which smaddy black up di sink ina di batroom wid dem hair an nat even call maintenance man fi do sinting bout it.. All a di Wolf dem in sheep clothes.an di wolf dem weh missing a hairpiece – unu come farward.. Canfession good fi di soul ..come man - somebady FESS UP NOW!!..
PinkeyLou: I didn't do it! ..a noh mi ..noh baddy noh look pon mi .. everyting happen inyah unu blame it pon mi!
TheDred: Hair block up di sink?? Hey heya! A goodly one a dem inyah weh a wear weave an piece a dem hair drop ina di sink an dem noh have di desency fi tek it up. Dem sistas neva have dem weave on tight yet! Unu mus stap wear weave an knot unu head like how mine knot up. A bet seh unu woulda neva si one a mi locks ina di sink. Mi noh like si di weave a tall!
UnaNina: Dats why mi glad mi fi head is real! No baddy caan look pon mi
Blessed: (feeling the all over her head) A wha color hair indeh Jooks?
Jooks: One jet black sinting weh almost di same color as fi Mire
Blessed: Good! As unu can si a one baby doll Pink an Burgundy weave mi have and shi sey a jet balck hair shi si. So mi noh have nuttin fi canfess to
Mire: Yuh know dere is bad weave and dere is good weave.. Perhaps dat was one a di bad one dem. If yuh get a good look pon di textra yuh can tell if a bad hair… Unu waan mi goh look?
Fern: Mire’try yuh bes siddung which part yuh deh bout yuh a goh look pon textra....Hey excuse mi Madam Dreadlocks ova dere.. Please to stop scorning hair weave like dat..yuh know people like mi good money fi dem? Mi noh si nutten wrang wid wearing weave
Kingman: Troo ting Auntie Fern. As a matta a fact everyday mi look pon TheDred an har natty dread shi tun mi off. If shi was eva mi baby moda mi woulda lef har like a noh nutten ..Hey yow, yuh fi wrap up yuh head like Eryka Baddu when yuh a come a work gainst people like mi. Mi noh like look pon it!
Thedred: A who ask yuh anyting? I love my locks !! My hair is beautiful! Yuh a talk bout wrap up mi head ..mek yuh noh wrap up yuh sore foot an stap expose dat big ole fungus whe a grow ina yuh foot! Bway no mek mi get ethnic pon yuh inyah yuh hear!
Jooks: Airight Airight, no need fi di cussing! Mi jus ask a simple question. All mi waan fi know a who fah hair ina di sink ..unu goh clean it out cause dat noh look right!
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Later that afternoon the workday was interrupted by a big argument that erupted between a male and female employee. The female employee who was dressed in a tight fighting blouse ( both top buttons unbuttoned) stormed in the big boss’s (willdog2x )office. She was very upset and placed herself right infront of the big boss yelling an swearing.
Chocolatedrop: Mi need fi lodge a farmal complain pon dat mad bwaay weh noh tap come roun mi station an a touch touch up mi breast dem! If unu noh fire im blood fire fi sexual harassing mi, mi a goh charge fi r*** murda up inyah
willdog2x : Woo Woo.. calm down sexy Chocolate.. who walking aroun an feeling up on yuh again?
Chocolatedrop: Look yah noh Mista Willowdaag.. please to noh style mi as sexy chacolate cause mi an yuh a noh size.. di bwaay whe mi a talk bout a dat fish lip Islandmutt!!
willdog2x: First ting, please sekkle dung an show some mannas ..mi noh name “willowdaag”.. Adress mi has Mr.Willdog. I am your superior
Chocolatedrop: **kiss teet** Mista whateva yuh name.Yuh a goh file mi grievances ar nat..ar yuh a goh tan up deh an look pon mi like when daag a get ready fi hump smaddy!
willdog2x: Ok, call im in here let’s deal with this between us three..
Chocolatedrop: (she walked towards the door and poked her head out and yelled) TINKING BREAT MUTTY !! BOSS MAN WANT YUH!
He hesitantly went into the office as he was told .. Once in the office, there he saw a restless Chocolatedrop and a perplexed looking boss.
Islandmutt: A wha mi inyah fah boss?
Chocolatedrop:What yuh mean whe yuh ina fah? ...If yuh neva tek it pon yuh self fi touch up mi ti-ti dem when yuh did feel di “urge” yuh wouldn inyah! Mi is nat deh here fi yuh pleasha weda mi ti-ti dem a hang out ar not! Brite!
Islandmut: Mek mi explain yuh hear sah. Man is man an mi goh tek a feel if all day lang shi a cock out har batty and wiggly up har expose breast when mi a walk by. A she guilty sar! Shi love lead man on an fustrate dem a day time wid dat V-shape ting deh to...Look pon mi pants front!! Is like a loaded gun indeh ! Mi can even stan up straight to rahtid!
Willodo2x: I have to admit, mi agree wid Mista Mutt. Wi here at Freezone factory is cracking down hard on unu woman whe use the law an unu big batty to unu advantage. Is woman like yuh mek tings tough fi di real victims of harassment . Do you have representation Mista Mutt?
Islandmutt: Den noh mus Bossman .. Mi join one arganization fi protect mi gainst dem kina false accusatian yah ..di group nameV.A.G.I.N.A.. Si dem card yah (he hands the card to willdog2x) ..All OJ Simpson is a memba to. I swear by dem boss man..mi live, breathe, and eat V.A.G.I.N.A! dem a di bes!
ChocalateDrop: Mi can meliev weh di R**s mi a hear inyah .. well mek mi jus tek mi sexy self an goh a mi yaad . .MI QUIT!! She storms out through the door and slammed it behind her. Meanwhile there was mumbling among the workers who overheard the conversation and the noise in the Boss’s office.
Lostboy: Bwaay disyah place come in like Jerry Springa to rahtid. Every day a neww drama…Fus ting private parts a hang out, male audience look an touch, man an ooman start fight, audience cheer, Bossman break it up,di man get di laast word, slut walk out,..stay tuned fi tomorrow’s episode.
Indira: Lostboy yuh neva sey a betta ting..I swear dese people watching dat blinking Jerry Springer wid all dem whole heapa slackniss an a bring it inyah. ..All dis dam drama a tek weh di fun an pleasa outta mi work day.. All dem sinting yah is jus plain childish an disgusting!
Dats why mi jus stay right yah so fi di whole day an noh seh nutten to a soul..next ting dem come jump dung mi troat hole an put mi to shame ...
Msbens: As far as mi si dis is nutten short of coronation market wares a gwaan inyah. everyday dem people inyah a display all sorta dutty laundry busniss bout di place. . Jesas mi Savior, dem people in here getting from bad to worst! Dem people need fi bade ina some holy wata... Now lissen to dat Islandmutt an di carelis gal a cuss dem one aneda ova VAGINA an who feel up who..
Mire: **kiss teet** I neva did like dat gal anyway.. shi noh live too far fram mi msbens …an nat fi hell dat ooman wi tap come a mi yaad a beg mi husban fi put up curtain fi har.. a same way shi come a di house half naked a bat har caast yeye dem. A caan get rid a har! But anyday mi ketch har a put har han pon mi man, so help mi Gad dem a go fine har dead ina one drum pan.
Alabaster: No talk dem tings deh Mire..den supposen sey police come a yuh yaad an intorrigate yuh bout di killing.. wah yuh woulda sey to dem misis?
Mire’: No speaky Hinglaze
Alabaster: Gal hush yuh mout..an tap gi mi joke ..bout ‘noh speaky Hinglaze’..If a laugh a tun duppy inyah!
Sharee: Mi noh blame yuh Mire’.. a same soh mi have one dis big yeye gyal a come stalk mi fe no reason. Gyal claim she shi still in love wid mi man an have di nerve fi ask mi if ‘wi can hang out!’ ..Gal like dem deh fi dead an tun ina Jancrow meat!
guinepe: A true man .. yuh hav sum conniving women dat wi try anyting fi tek yuh husban ar bruk up yuh marriage… Dem people noh have no purpose a serve ina life..Dead dem haffi get dead!
Bashey Can unu please tap talk bout dead dis and duppy dat inyah and do unu rahtid wok! Unu know how it feel fi dead an gaan?.. you cold, yuh caan get fi noh strawberry fi buy , yuh alone ina di caskit an not a man indeh wid yuh fi cuddle up wid – yuh just dead soh. Unu tap e yaah man! Mi noh come a wok fi hear bout whofa ded bady unu a goh put ina drum pan…
Plummy: Well Bashey, it look like mi dead areddi cause mi noh gat nat a man fi cuddle wid right yah now ..especially when rain a fall outta door. Mite as well unu declare mi dead an rotten out! Nat a ting a gwaan fi mi ..
Alabaster: (laughing) Wooii..Well if a soh, den what is yuh last words Plummy? Whe yuh waan pon yuh Tombstone – ‘Kin Ova Widout a Man’? **group laughter**
Plummy: Unu can tan deh kin unu teet .. One day one day mi mus fine smaddy mi can fowl up wid unda blanket when night come.. who laugh laast laugh bestes!
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LUNCH BREAK:
It was mid day and the staff was dismissed for lunch. The Freezone factory had it’s own Cafeteria with only one cook, Jazz Johnson. A group of starved workers gathered at the food counter checking out the menu and the food display.
Dumplin: A whe unu have pon di lunch menu tidey. Lawd, me is ssooo hungry me tell you! Me ready fe drap! Yuh gat any STEW PEAS deh Jazz?
Jazz: No sah..mi tap sell stew peas ..pig tail a get too expensive.. tidey mi have CHICKEN PELAU pon special
Dumplin: Noh wan Trini dish dat? A how comes yuh noh gat noh Jamaican food an di big ole sign outta door sey Jamaican Bickle Only You a one fraud yuh noh Ms Jazz
Queen: Fi real dumplin **kiss teet** Mi a look fi come si seafood an ting an all she have a rice mix up wid chicken.. Mi noh ina noho Pelau at allllll Yuck! Yuh mean sey yuh not even have likkle cow tripe Ms Jazz?
Jazz: Queen - yuh know seh yuh ah try mi patience hard, hard (mek mi tek a deep bret, woooo mi pressure) Yuh si how unu workas ungrateful - afta mi spen whole marning a mek special food fi unu so unu can nyam like high class people an unu come yah a badda mi bout cow tripe!! Si yah gyal doan mek mi tell yuh bout yuh Kacka hole!! Yuh a buy di sinting ar not?
Dgeorge: How much it a sell fah den?
Jazz: 10 dalla a plate an it come wid a small size cup a lemonade
Dgeorge: Yuh know what MS Jazz on secon taught ..Yuh noh have noh bun bun fram di pot battom can sell mi fi $2.00
The group of workers stood there rolling their eyes and frowning at Jazz. Out of now where appeared a rat… The workers all screamed with fright ..
Jadine: Lawd Gad ..wi have rodent inna yah.. One puss noh deh bout yah noh? Weh di puss deh? (she calls as she looks around) Com puss,com puss.. When yu want di dam puss yu caan fine him… A weh di rahtid puss deh man? Here puss..come puss
Jazz: Genkle Jeesas meek an mile..what a liad set a people..Which part unu si rat inyah!
Ratt : Yoohoo ..ova here soh (the rat waved) [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
[b]Jazz:[b]: ( with a surprised look on her face) Ahhhhmm ..yuh know a di fus mi eva si one rat in here ..a swear!
Soon there after the cat appeared.. She spotted the same rat and begun to purr hysterically
Puss: MEOOOWWW.. MEOOOWWW.. MEOOOWWW!!..
The rat looked steadily at the cat but did not budge.
Ratt: Rush mi if yuh tink yuh bad. Goh get a life an lef descent rat alone!! Yuh tink mi fraida yuh? ** The cat became angrier and continued**
Puss: MEOOOWWW..MEOOOOWW.. hey big belly rat yuh noh hear MI SEH MEOOOOWW ..whe yuh noh move yuh backside from out yah ..a mi alone fi tek up residence in di kitchen...mi sey MEOOOWWW before mi crab yuh up!!
Jadine: But a wah kina wutlis puss dis ..galang goh nyam di rat noh ediat puss!!
Puss: *paws akimbo* Meoowww! why yuh noh mine yuh bizniz ooman, I am a very high class Pedigree puss.. Mi noh nyam rat! Mi hear yuh a call mi bout come puss come and mi come tink sey a sinting important yuh a call mi fah. Mek mi goh back goh ketch up pon mi puss nap cause unu a waste mi time ..(flash tail) Ooman goh to hell fram mi- bout nyam rat!! MEEOOOOWWW!! ( the cat runs off)
Thirdeye: Lawd!!! Mi noh hungry again! Puss and Ratt is in the house!!!!!!!! I'm calling the animal shelter, the mental ward, di exterminator, and die sanitary inspector !!
FH: Good ting mi is ooman noh walk widout mi George Foerman Grill..mek mi gih grill two burga, sey mi grace an nyam mi owna food.
ThirdEye: Give praise to Jah fi George Foreman an im craven self. I a neva fi im sista FH wouln have grill inyah fi save wi fram dead fi hungry. Respec in di name of his Imperial Majesty, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah. JAH!!!! Rastafari. FH rules!
FH: Anyting fi yuh mi sista/fren..come gi mi a hug (the two hugs each other in a tight embrace)
Jazz: Lissen to mi noh! Unu move fram outta mi kitchen an galang goh grill un u grill burga mek mi lack it up mi shap fi di day cause unu naah buy nutten ..di two a unu a hug up like unu a two lesbian lova .. Excuse mi! (she slams the sliding door closing the off the kitchen)
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AFTER LUNCH:
A 4’oclock impromptu staff meeting was called by the Company Secretary Rose Duncan. before the employee left for the day.
Rose: Good aftanoon people. I called this meeting to talk about some tings dat going on in di laas couple weeks. I am also here to answer any questions you have on di working facilities and candition.. First ting is I will like to announce dat wi have two Promotions and One retirement to announce. Wi regret dat Lawx who run di button machine has announce har retirement afta 23 yrs here at Freezone garment factory. Clap har! (clapping from the auidience)
Lawx: Tank yuh tank yuh..Well ladies an genkleman as yuh can si mi a get very ole..Mi soon tun 40 an it’s time fi mi fi res mi weary bady. Mi npoh feel so “young and restless and bold and beautiful” . 23 yrs of working di pedal sewing machine gi mi arthritis ina mi knee lef mi looking shribble up...If I doan lef dis wok I going to be a bitta ole ooman when mi tun 42. Mi intend to enjoy the benefits of mi retirement an spread mi legs ..oops mi mean spread mi wings an fine a man soh mi noh lonely ina mi ole age. Tank unu again. And Gad goh wid unu young people.
Rose: God bless yuh sista Lawx..if yuh eva get into a rut, jus know dat yuh can always come back here and work cause a noh like anybody else a goh hire yuh ole ***. Next I would like to announce di promotions. We are going to promote Cutie C’ to Organizer of all Freezone Company Bashments in di Florida area ..Wi also promoting BlessedLadyofZion to head of Internal affairs cause wi get fi fine out sey some a unu is blastid lie and tief inyah!! She will get to di battom of all a unu lyad stories. Wi finally done di exacise room dis week. It was much needed cause some a unu suffa from dropsy afta unu nyam lunch..not to mention how some a unu batty a spread like cable. When unu ready fi use di gym please see Pepper fi di keys. Also, due to di amount of people dat getting rob in di parking lot and couple of di employees missing since laas yr wi promoting Ja-kid to head up security. Wi will fully equip him wid a big black Alstatian daag an a pipe iron to make our likkle workplace safe from tiefs. Give dem a han.!!!. **The workers clapped reluctantly**
There was a wailing sound coming from the back as if someone was in distress..
Sharee: (bawling) waaiia, wooeee, a feel so left out ..waaiii. look how long mi deh yah a sew hem pon frack tail an dem couldn even gi mi a promotian ..waaii..every striking yr dem paas ova mi an a gwaan like dem noh notice mi… it naah goh so ..nutten more dan dem a carry favortism inayh..waaiii... Is only Gad know how dem mek mi feel soh wuklis.
Fern: (consoling Sharee) No mine ..a soh dem lef mi out to misis. Di one Cuite C neva even did put mi pon di guest list fi di laas Florida Freezone bashment! She come talk bout it was a slight oversight and yet shi get promotion an caan even arganize sinting good. Mek dem gwaan Sharee ..yuh si how di one Cutie C’ lip dem red like peppa fly batty.
Lisa: (also consoling Sharee) : Sharee lef dem to time ..yuh tink a likkle time dem paas mi ova to.
Ja-kid ignoring the distraction, steps forward holding his security dog by a small leash and feeling proud.
Ja-kid: (big up chess) Yes people as head of security here, let mi give unu some safety tips. Unu mus learn fi use unu house keys fi crab up unu attacka face and dig out im yeye til im ball blood!....(AMEN! Chanted the crowd) When unu cash unu check a Friday day time.. unu noh mek John public si unu trupence. It look hard fi smaddy tek weh unu hard earn $150 a week pay. If unu suspect sey smaddy a falla unu ..beg unu do noh run ina di bush..tan up one place an bawl out TEIF!! Last but nat least Unu fine unu yaad as quick as possible an tap dilly dally outta door too lang..some a unu too blastid iggle! Oh yes ..mek a introduce unu to mi Alsatian daag.
Doggie: (waving paw) Bad daaag in da’ house! Let mi hear yuh sey - Ruff! Ruff!!
Rose: Yes people, please observe all the safety tips posted pon di lamp post outside. Before I go are there any last minute concerns unu want to bring to Management?
Avery: (waving) Yes!Yes! Mi have one big big concern. Why de wata weh a come outta di pipe look like red dirt soh?.. One day mi a ketch wata ina mi cup an mi si couple gravel drop ina di cup nearly mek mi stomach sick to rahtid.. Mek mattas wos de blastid Vendor machine noh sell bakkle wata. Ms Rose kindly tell management fi get clean wata fi peeple drink arelse mi ago start one hell of a wata fight up inyah – awoh
Alpha: Avery becareful weh yuh ask Management fah .. hou yuh know sey a some naasy-naasy muddy-muddy barefoot smaddy a ketch wata fram di spring an a put it ina bakkle sell
Avery: Ma’ mi, wi tek mi chances..di wata too heavy an taste bad like sewage wata
Jadine: Ms Rose, please to tell Management sey rat ina di cafeteria an dem need fi call in Sanitary inspector fi investigate why Jazz place a harbor all sorta rodent weh people a nyam a day time. Maybe dat new security daag can help run out di wutlis Puss weh dem have a walk roun like shi stoosh noh back foot.
doggie: Ruaaarrrfff! Lady noh badaa wid dem argumemnt deh.. daag heart like mi noh chase puss .. Babylon only a pay mi fi chase teif! ..a more dallas mi a defen fi chase puss to ..
Jooks Ms Rose, I would like to sya a big tank yuh to the Janito fi fix di stap up suink in
sucha shart notce..it was a pleasure fi si di sink back to narma.
ALL: YEAAAHHHHHH!!!!YEAAHHHHH!! **clap clap**
The proud Janitor steps forward an takes a bow and then spoke with pride:
Bandido1: Tank yuh ..and you are mostest welcome. As di greatest Janitor dat eva live Jerry West said, “Yu caan get much done in life if you do good a good job wid di tielet bowl and di sink dem”. I go very far to motivate miself and give every sinkan every tilet mi very bes care regardless of all di curro-curro weh stap dem up.Mi soh glad mi did learn di 7 ways to success fram di ole man. I are very inspired and I must say I feel I finally reach di top!
Rose: Ok that’s enough ..I will paas on unu grievances to Mista Willodog2x..Every body have a good eveling and see you tomorrow
Antoinette: AN MEK SURE UNU BLACK BEHINE COME A WOK PON TIME TOMORROW!!!
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It was a typical morning at Boardlane Freezone garment factory. The employees were slowly settling in for what was to be a very busy Monday morning at the office.
The first order of the day was roll call conducted by Shift Supervisor. All present employees raised there hands as she checked off the names. She noticed there were a few missing.
Antoinette: Where is Tina, Jamin, bahajah20, kaye-kaye, Hottie, Tina, Jamdown3, Kuddles, Sistagirl ? (seemingly angry she began to complain) But a wha do dem black people mek dem caan kip time sah. Imagine fus shift start 8’aclack pon di dot an mi dis come in yah roun10’aclack an all now dem blastid lazy *** no ketch yah yet! Not fi hell dem wi kip up wid di res a di worl!!
Lostboy: Ms Antoinette one ting yuh have to realize is dat black people clack stay pon one time Wi go strictly by CPT (Colored people time).. if yuh ask mi a di res a worl need fi kip up wid wi.. a time now dem cut out dat Daylight saving time foolishness! A white man time dat
Jamin1: (running around the bend and panting) SI MI YAH! Sarry mi late but mi galfren mosh mi up last night..Ms Anotinette di ooman have mi a wok har til six aclack dis marning.. If yuh noh believe me look pon mi han dem..yuh si di rope mark dem?? Di ooman tie mi up to rahtid an woulda kill mi wid wok! Look pon mi back how it scratch up. Gad know mi tink mi si di mark a di beast last night an only Gad know how mi survive fi tell disyah story!
Pepper: Jamin... Bway tap di fart ina mi ears ole ina di marning yuh hear..yuh musi tink sey wi a ediot inyah. Move an gwey wid yuh ole liad self. Every mar ning yuh come inyah late an diferent story bout dat gal yuh deh wid.Who yuh tink yuh a fool anybady wid dat deh cack an bull story bout ooman have yuh bandage whole night... (laughter from the crowd)
Jammin1: Yuh se how uunu ooman tan..uunu tink sey because mi is a man, oomon cant tek advantage of mi...ah how uunu stay suh? If yuh did see dat big stropping gyal unu woulda a call ambulance fi mi right now ..unu galang!
Anotinette: Airight jammin1..mi wi excuse yuh jus as long as dat mad bull yuh a sleep wid is nat a white ooman ..cause mi know some a unu black man love deh wid some rugged batta batta white women wid all 10 pickney..
Kuddles: (appears suddenly) Here! Present! ..sarry mi jus a come. It tek lang fi chiney bump mi hair dis marning.
Antoinette: Airight wi naah wait pon di res a dem. EVERYBODY GET TO WORK!! …
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At the Assembly Line
Like a typical work day at the factory, the workers worked their machines at the assemble line while chatting with each other to help the work day go by faster.
PinkeyLou: Marning deh Churchie ..How yuh do?
Churchgirl: Jus Aneda day pon di ole wok yah .. gal but deh yah a tek in di likkle coolie gal ova deh so how har face white like chalk but rouna har yeye an mouth black lacka char coal. Mi have afeeling a bleach shi a bleach har face yuh noh Pinkey
Pinkeylou: It look soh fi troot ..shi noh know how shi have it good . Shi di deh a bleach when me a bun up ina sun fi get dark! Dark skin is Gad blessen A bet sey shi nat even know sey Gad bless har wid sinting name Melanin.
Churchgirl: Milanen??A wah dat now Pinkey?
PinkeyLou: Cho girl .Melanin a wha Gad give dark skin people fi mek dem skin noh look jookie jookie an ugly like jackfruit skin.
The Indian lady walks over to and stands up close to Churie’s face and rants:
Musso: Hey Chinney gal yuh tink mi noh hear yuh ova yah a call mi Bleach skin Coolie. Yuh noh have noh common decency an yuh is nutten but a low class arrogant **sshole!
Churchgirl: Yuh kow wah Musso mi sarry fi mash yuh carn but who are you to call smaddy low class. Come ouuta mi face yuh ole dutty coolie negga!
PinkeyLou: (stepping in between the two) Musso relax an cool yuh foot. Shi jus a show cancern fi yuh cause yuh have such a nice pretty dark skin an yuh tek bleaching cream an bun up yuhself an yuh mout carna noh match yuh skin cola. Yuh a di fuss coolie mi si wid so much skin shade to blurt naught
Musso: So yuh a call mi coolie to?!! Suppose mi fi call yuh a dunce bean belly coconut and a big nose camel jockey..how yuh woulda feel?
PinkeyLou: Gal noh mek mi affi trace yuh aff in a brakaa workplace tidey yaah. Troo yuh si mi so light skin ..mi well black pon di inside yuhnoh ..mi wi tell yuh ***** whe yuh neva hear bout fram yuh barn!
KLH: (interrupting) Lawd unu tap it so early ina di marning .. Musso, how yuh tan soh …noh yuh mi hear jus cawl Churchie ‘Chiney gal’..what’s di difference if shi call yuh coolie
Churchgirl: Double standard KLH ..double standad di coolie gal a kip up!
KLH: Ah-rite. Unnoo dun di argument before mi call in di big boss fi sen di whole a unu a unu yaad ..mi dead serious an' mi nuh give a &#$% whe nuh baddy tink,
Slick: ( talking over the ladies)Have Merci ..look whe mi live si dowe eeh..Black people a tun white and white people an tun black all wha a go happen now is bare reverse discrimatian!
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A few minutes had passed and one of the employees went to use the bathroom. In the bathroom she noticed a lump of hair had stopped the sink and the water was overflowing to the floor . She left the bathroom in disgust:
Jooks: Look yah noh ..unu lissen up! A which smaddy black up di sink ina di batroom wid dem hair an nat even call maintenance man fi do sinting bout it.. All a di Wolf dem in sheep clothes.an di wolf dem weh missing a hairpiece – unu come farward.. Canfession good fi di soul ..come man - somebady FESS UP NOW!!..
PinkeyLou: I didn't do it! ..a noh mi ..noh baddy noh look pon mi .. everyting happen inyah unu blame it pon mi!
TheDred: Hair block up di sink?? Hey heya! A goodly one a dem inyah weh a wear weave an piece a dem hair drop ina di sink an dem noh have di desency fi tek it up. Dem sistas neva have dem weave on tight yet! Unu mus stap wear weave an knot unu head like how mine knot up. A bet seh unu woulda neva si one a mi locks ina di sink. Mi noh like si di weave a tall!
UnaNina: Dats why mi glad mi fi head is real! No baddy caan look pon mi
Blessed: (feeling the all over her head) A wha color hair indeh Jooks?
Jooks: One jet black sinting weh almost di same color as fi Mire
Blessed: Good! As unu can si a one baby doll Pink an Burgundy weave mi have and shi sey a jet balck hair shi si. So mi noh have nuttin fi canfess to
Mire: Yuh know dere is bad weave and dere is good weave.. Perhaps dat was one a di bad one dem. If yuh get a good look pon di textra yuh can tell if a bad hair… Unu waan mi goh look?
Fern: Mire’try yuh bes siddung which part yuh deh bout yuh a goh look pon textra....Hey excuse mi Madam Dreadlocks ova dere.. Please to stop scorning hair weave like dat..yuh know people like mi good money fi dem? Mi noh si nutten wrang wid wearing weave
Kingman: Troo ting Auntie Fern. As a matta a fact everyday mi look pon TheDred an har natty dread shi tun mi off. If shi was eva mi baby moda mi woulda lef har like a noh nutten ..Hey yow, yuh fi wrap up yuh head like Eryka Baddu when yuh a come a work gainst people like mi. Mi noh like look pon it!
Thedred: A who ask yuh anyting? I love my locks !! My hair is beautiful! Yuh a talk bout wrap up mi head ..mek yuh noh wrap up yuh sore foot an stap expose dat big ole fungus whe a grow ina yuh foot! Bway no mek mi get ethnic pon yuh inyah yuh hear!
Jooks: Airight Airight, no need fi di cussing! Mi jus ask a simple question. All mi waan fi know a who fah hair ina di sink ..unu goh clean it out cause dat noh look right!
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Later that afternoon the workday was interrupted by a big argument that erupted between a male and female employee. The female employee who was dressed in a tight fighting blouse ( both top buttons unbuttoned) stormed in the big boss’s (willdog2x )office. She was very upset and placed herself right infront of the big boss yelling an swearing.
Chocolatedrop: Mi need fi lodge a farmal complain pon dat mad bwaay weh noh tap come roun mi station an a touch touch up mi breast dem! If unu noh fire im blood fire fi sexual harassing mi, mi a goh charge fi r*** murda up inyah
willdog2x : Woo Woo.. calm down sexy Chocolate.. who walking aroun an feeling up on yuh again?
Chocolatedrop: Look yah noh Mista Willowdaag.. please to noh style mi as sexy chacolate cause mi an yuh a noh size.. di bwaay whe mi a talk bout a dat fish lip Islandmutt!!
willdog2x: First ting, please sekkle dung an show some mannas ..mi noh name “willowdaag”.. Adress mi has Mr.Willdog. I am your superior
Chocolatedrop: **kiss teet** Mista whateva yuh name.Yuh a goh file mi grievances ar nat..ar yuh a goh tan up deh an look pon mi like when daag a get ready fi hump smaddy!
willdog2x: Ok, call im in here let’s deal with this between us three..
Chocolatedrop: (she walked towards the door and poked her head out and yelled) TINKING BREAT MUTTY !! BOSS MAN WANT YUH!
He hesitantly went into the office as he was told .. Once in the office, there he saw a restless Chocolatedrop and a perplexed looking boss.
Islandmutt: A wha mi inyah fah boss?
Chocolatedrop:What yuh mean whe yuh ina fah? ...If yuh neva tek it pon yuh self fi touch up mi ti-ti dem when yuh did feel di “urge” yuh wouldn inyah! Mi is nat deh here fi yuh pleasha weda mi ti-ti dem a hang out ar not! Brite!
Islandmut: Mek mi explain yuh hear sah. Man is man an mi goh tek a feel if all day lang shi a cock out har batty and wiggly up har expose breast when mi a walk by. A she guilty sar! Shi love lead man on an fustrate dem a day time wid dat V-shape ting deh to...Look pon mi pants front!! Is like a loaded gun indeh ! Mi can even stan up straight to rahtid!
Willodo2x: I have to admit, mi agree wid Mista Mutt. Wi here at Freezone factory is cracking down hard on unu woman whe use the law an unu big batty to unu advantage. Is woman like yuh mek tings tough fi di real victims of harassment . Do you have representation Mista Mutt?
Islandmutt: Den noh mus Bossman .. Mi join one arganization fi protect mi gainst dem kina false accusatian yah ..di group nameV.A.G.I.N.A.. Si dem card yah (he hands the card to willdog2x) ..All OJ Simpson is a memba to. I swear by dem boss man..mi live, breathe, and eat V.A.G.I.N.A! dem a di bes!
ChocalateDrop: Mi can meliev weh di R**s mi a hear inyah .. well mek mi jus tek mi sexy self an goh a mi yaad . .MI QUIT!! She storms out through the door and slammed it behind her. Meanwhile there was mumbling among the workers who overheard the conversation and the noise in the Boss’s office.
Lostboy: Bwaay disyah place come in like Jerry Springa to rahtid. Every day a neww drama…Fus ting private parts a hang out, male audience look an touch, man an ooman start fight, audience cheer, Bossman break it up,di man get di laast word, slut walk out,..stay tuned fi tomorrow’s episode.
Indira: Lostboy yuh neva sey a betta ting..I swear dese people watching dat blinking Jerry Springer wid all dem whole heapa slackniss an a bring it inyah. ..All dis dam drama a tek weh di fun an pleasa outta mi work day.. All dem sinting yah is jus plain childish an disgusting!
Dats why mi jus stay right yah so fi di whole day an noh seh nutten to a soul..next ting dem come jump dung mi troat hole an put mi to shame ...
Msbens: As far as mi si dis is nutten short of coronation market wares a gwaan inyah. everyday dem people inyah a display all sorta dutty laundry busniss bout di place. . Jesas mi Savior, dem people in here getting from bad to worst! Dem people need fi bade ina some holy wata... Now lissen to dat Islandmutt an di carelis gal a cuss dem one aneda ova VAGINA an who feel up who..
Mire: **kiss teet** I neva did like dat gal anyway.. shi noh live too far fram mi msbens …an nat fi hell dat ooman wi tap come a mi yaad a beg mi husban fi put up curtain fi har.. a same way shi come a di house half naked a bat har caast yeye dem. A caan get rid a har! But anyday mi ketch har a put har han pon mi man, so help mi Gad dem a go fine har dead ina one drum pan.
Alabaster: No talk dem tings deh Mire..den supposen sey police come a yuh yaad an intorrigate yuh bout di killing.. wah yuh woulda sey to dem misis?
Mire’: No speaky Hinglaze
Alabaster: Gal hush yuh mout..an tap gi mi joke ..bout ‘noh speaky Hinglaze’..If a laugh a tun duppy inyah!
Sharee: Mi noh blame yuh Mire’.. a same soh mi have one dis big yeye gyal a come stalk mi fe no reason. Gyal claim she shi still in love wid mi man an have di nerve fi ask mi if ‘wi can hang out!’ ..Gal like dem deh fi dead an tun ina Jancrow meat!
guinepe: A true man .. yuh hav sum conniving women dat wi try anyting fi tek yuh husban ar bruk up yuh marriage… Dem people noh have no purpose a serve ina life..Dead dem haffi get dead!
Bashey Can unu please tap talk bout dead dis and duppy dat inyah and do unu rahtid wok! Unu know how it feel fi dead an gaan?.. you cold, yuh caan get fi noh strawberry fi buy , yuh alone ina di caskit an not a man indeh wid yuh fi cuddle up wid – yuh just dead soh. Unu tap e yaah man! Mi noh come a wok fi hear bout whofa ded bady unu a goh put ina drum pan…
Plummy: Well Bashey, it look like mi dead areddi cause mi noh gat nat a man fi cuddle wid right yah now ..especially when rain a fall outta door. Mite as well unu declare mi dead an rotten out! Nat a ting a gwaan fi mi ..
Alabaster: (laughing) Wooii..Well if a soh, den what is yuh last words Plummy? Whe yuh waan pon yuh Tombstone – ‘Kin Ova Widout a Man’? **group laughter**
Plummy: Unu can tan deh kin unu teet .. One day one day mi mus fine smaddy mi can fowl up wid unda blanket when night come.. who laugh laast laugh bestes!
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LUNCH BREAK:
It was mid day and the staff was dismissed for lunch. The Freezone factory had it’s own Cafeteria with only one cook, Jazz Johnson. A group of starved workers gathered at the food counter checking out the menu and the food display.
Dumplin: A whe unu have pon di lunch menu tidey. Lawd, me is ssooo hungry me tell you! Me ready fe drap! Yuh gat any STEW PEAS deh Jazz?
Jazz: No sah..mi tap sell stew peas ..pig tail a get too expensive.. tidey mi have CHICKEN PELAU pon special
Dumplin: Noh wan Trini dish dat? A how comes yuh noh gat noh Jamaican food an di big ole sign outta door sey Jamaican Bickle Only You a one fraud yuh noh Ms Jazz
Queen: Fi real dumplin **kiss teet** Mi a look fi come si seafood an ting an all she have a rice mix up wid chicken.. Mi noh ina noho Pelau at allllll Yuck! Yuh mean sey yuh not even have likkle cow tripe Ms Jazz?
Jazz: Queen - yuh know seh yuh ah try mi patience hard, hard (mek mi tek a deep bret, woooo mi pressure) Yuh si how unu workas ungrateful - afta mi spen whole marning a mek special food fi unu so unu can nyam like high class people an unu come yah a badda mi bout cow tripe!! Si yah gyal doan mek mi tell yuh bout yuh Kacka hole!! Yuh a buy di sinting ar not?
Dgeorge: How much it a sell fah den?
Jazz: 10 dalla a plate an it come wid a small size cup a lemonade
Dgeorge: Yuh know what MS Jazz on secon taught ..Yuh noh have noh bun bun fram di pot battom can sell mi fi $2.00
The group of workers stood there rolling their eyes and frowning at Jazz. Out of now where appeared a rat… The workers all screamed with fright ..
Jadine: Lawd Gad ..wi have rodent inna yah.. One puss noh deh bout yah noh? Weh di puss deh? (she calls as she looks around) Com puss,com puss.. When yu want di dam puss yu caan fine him… A weh di rahtid puss deh man? Here puss..come puss
Jazz: Genkle Jeesas meek an mile..what a liad set a people..Which part unu si rat inyah!
Ratt : Yoohoo ..ova here soh (the rat waved) [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
[b]Jazz:[b]: ( with a surprised look on her face) Ahhhhmm ..yuh know a di fus mi eva si one rat in here ..a swear!
Soon there after the cat appeared.. She spotted the same rat and begun to purr hysterically
Puss: MEOOOWWW.. MEOOOWWW.. MEOOOWWW!!..
The rat looked steadily at the cat but did not budge.
Ratt: Rush mi if yuh tink yuh bad. Goh get a life an lef descent rat alone!! Yuh tink mi fraida yuh? ** The cat became angrier and continued**
Puss: MEOOOWWW..MEOOOOWW.. hey big belly rat yuh noh hear MI SEH MEOOOOWW ..whe yuh noh move yuh backside from out yah ..a mi alone fi tek up residence in di kitchen...mi sey MEOOOWWW before mi crab yuh up!!
Jadine: But a wah kina wutlis puss dis ..galang goh nyam di rat noh ediat puss!!
Puss: *paws akimbo* Meoowww! why yuh noh mine yuh bizniz ooman, I am a very high class Pedigree puss.. Mi noh nyam rat! Mi hear yuh a call mi bout come puss come and mi come tink sey a sinting important yuh a call mi fah. Mek mi goh back goh ketch up pon mi puss nap cause unu a waste mi time ..(flash tail) Ooman goh to hell fram mi- bout nyam rat!! MEEOOOOWWW!! ( the cat runs off)
Thirdeye: Lawd!!! Mi noh hungry again! Puss and Ratt is in the house!!!!!!!! I'm calling the animal shelter, the mental ward, di exterminator, and die sanitary inspector !!
FH: Good ting mi is ooman noh walk widout mi George Foerman Grill..mek mi gih grill two burga, sey mi grace an nyam mi owna food.
ThirdEye: Give praise to Jah fi George Foreman an im craven self. I a neva fi im sista FH wouln have grill inyah fi save wi fram dead fi hungry. Respec in di name of his Imperial Majesty, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah. JAH!!!! Rastafari. FH rules!
FH: Anyting fi yuh mi sista/fren..come gi mi a hug (the two hugs each other in a tight embrace)
Jazz: Lissen to mi noh! Unu move fram outta mi kitchen an galang goh grill un u grill burga mek mi lack it up mi shap fi di day cause unu naah buy nutten ..di two a unu a hug up like unu a two lesbian lova .. Excuse mi! (she slams the sliding door closing the off the kitchen)
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AFTER LUNCH:
A 4’oclock impromptu staff meeting was called by the Company Secretary Rose Duncan. before the employee left for the day.
Rose: Good aftanoon people. I called this meeting to talk about some tings dat going on in di laas couple weeks. I am also here to answer any questions you have on di working facilities and candition.. First ting is I will like to announce dat wi have two Promotions and One retirement to announce. Wi regret dat Lawx who run di button machine has announce har retirement afta 23 yrs here at Freezone garment factory. Clap har! (clapping from the auidience)
Lawx: Tank yuh tank yuh..Well ladies an genkleman as yuh can si mi a get very ole..Mi soon tun 40 an it’s time fi mi fi res mi weary bady. Mi npoh feel so “young and restless and bold and beautiful” . 23 yrs of working di pedal sewing machine gi mi arthritis ina mi knee lef mi looking shribble up...If I doan lef dis wok I going to be a bitta ole ooman when mi tun 42. Mi intend to enjoy the benefits of mi retirement an spread mi legs ..oops mi mean spread mi wings an fine a man soh mi noh lonely ina mi ole age. Tank unu again. And Gad goh wid unu young people.
Rose: God bless yuh sista Lawx..if yuh eva get into a rut, jus know dat yuh can always come back here and work cause a noh like anybody else a goh hire yuh ole ***. Next I would like to announce di promotions. We are going to promote Cutie C’ to Organizer of all Freezone Company Bashments in di Florida area ..Wi also promoting BlessedLadyofZion to head of Internal affairs cause wi get fi fine out sey some a unu is blastid lie and tief inyah!! She will get to di battom of all a unu lyad stories. Wi finally done di exacise room dis week. It was much needed cause some a unu suffa from dropsy afta unu nyam lunch..not to mention how some a unu batty a spread like cable. When unu ready fi use di gym please see Pepper fi di keys. Also, due to di amount of people dat getting rob in di parking lot and couple of di employees missing since laas yr wi promoting Ja-kid to head up security. Wi will fully equip him wid a big black Alstatian daag an a pipe iron to make our likkle workplace safe from tiefs. Give dem a han.!!!. **The workers clapped reluctantly**
There was a wailing sound coming from the back as if someone was in distress..
Sharee: (bawling) waaiia, wooeee, a feel so left out ..waaiii. look how long mi deh yah a sew hem pon frack tail an dem couldn even gi mi a promotian ..waaii..every striking yr dem paas ova mi an a gwaan like dem noh notice mi… it naah goh so ..nutten more dan dem a carry favortism inayh..waaiii... Is only Gad know how dem mek mi feel soh wuklis.
Fern: (consoling Sharee) No mine ..a soh dem lef mi out to misis. Di one Cuite C neva even did put mi pon di guest list fi di laas Florida Freezone bashment! She come talk bout it was a slight oversight and yet shi get promotion an caan even arganize sinting good. Mek dem gwaan Sharee ..yuh si how di one Cutie C’ lip dem red like peppa fly batty.
Lisa: (also consoling Sharee) : Sharee lef dem to time ..yuh tink a likkle time dem paas mi ova to.
Ja-kid ignoring the distraction, steps forward holding his security dog by a small leash and feeling proud.
Ja-kid: (big up chess) Yes people as head of security here, let mi give unu some safety tips. Unu mus learn fi use unu house keys fi crab up unu attacka face and dig out im yeye til im ball blood!....(AMEN! Chanted the crowd) When unu cash unu check a Friday day time.. unu noh mek John public si unu trupence. It look hard fi smaddy tek weh unu hard earn $150 a week pay. If unu suspect sey smaddy a falla unu ..beg unu do noh run ina di bush..tan up one place an bawl out TEIF!! Last but nat least Unu fine unu yaad as quick as possible an tap dilly dally outta door too lang..some a unu too blastid iggle! Oh yes ..mek a introduce unu to mi Alsatian daag.
Doggie: (waving paw) Bad daaag in da’ house! Let mi hear yuh sey - Ruff! Ruff!!
Rose: Yes people, please observe all the safety tips posted pon di lamp post outside. Before I go are there any last minute concerns unu want to bring to Management?
Avery: (waving) Yes!Yes! Mi have one big big concern. Why de wata weh a come outta di pipe look like red dirt soh?.. One day mi a ketch wata ina mi cup an mi si couple gravel drop ina di cup nearly mek mi stomach sick to rahtid.. Mek mattas wos de blastid Vendor machine noh sell bakkle wata. Ms Rose kindly tell management fi get clean wata fi peeple drink arelse mi ago start one hell of a wata fight up inyah – awoh
Alpha: Avery becareful weh yuh ask Management fah .. hou yuh know sey a some naasy-naasy muddy-muddy barefoot smaddy a ketch wata fram di spring an a put it ina bakkle sell
Avery: Ma’ mi, wi tek mi chances..di wata too heavy an taste bad like sewage wata
Jadine: Ms Rose, please to tell Management sey rat ina di cafeteria an dem need fi call in Sanitary inspector fi investigate why Jazz place a harbor all sorta rodent weh people a nyam a day time. Maybe dat new security daag can help run out di wutlis Puss weh dem have a walk roun like shi stoosh noh back foot.
doggie: Ruaaarrrfff! Lady noh badaa wid dem argumemnt deh.. daag heart like mi noh chase puss .. Babylon only a pay mi fi chase teif! ..a more dallas mi a defen fi chase puss to ..
Jooks Ms Rose, I would like to sya a big tank yuh to the Janito fi fix di stap up suink in
sucha shart notce..it was a pleasure fi si di sink back to narma.
ALL: YEAAAHHHHHH!!!!YEAAHHHHH!! **clap clap**
The proud Janitor steps forward an takes a bow and then spoke with pride:
Bandido1: Tank yuh ..and you are mostest welcome. As di greatest Janitor dat eva live Jerry West said, “Yu caan get much done in life if you do good a good job wid di tielet bowl and di sink dem”. I go very far to motivate miself and give every sinkan every tilet mi very bes care regardless of all di curro-curro weh stap dem up.Mi soh glad mi did learn di 7 ways to success fram di ole man. I are very inspired and I must say I feel I finally reach di top!
Rose: Ok that’s enough ..I will paas on unu grievances to Mista Willodog2x..Every body have a good eveling and see you tomorrow
Antoinette: AN MEK SURE UNU BLACK BEHINE COME A WOK PON TIME TOMORROW!!!