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It is a Friday morning and the children of Boardlane All Age Holy Saint Francis of the Blessed Lamb Primary School are all making their daily trek to class. Most children were already at school, but as usual there was a group a boys that were lagging behind.
**Up by Maas P mango tree you can see a group of boys dressed in khaki shorts & shirt desperately trying to steal some ripe mango….one little natty head boy was climbing the tree as the others directed him on where to go **
Bandido1: dah wan deh…yu nuh seet
**pointing furiously**
Mi seh yu fi pick dah wan deh fimi. What a way it luk so SWEET..mi haffi haff dat fimi lunch tideh!
Mutty: (up in the tree) Ey Star, why yu always a pint out di mango dem weh way up inna di tree rasta. Yu nuh waan wan a di likkle wan dem dung a battam?
*Meanwhile a group of girls on their way to school saw the mischievious boys in the tree*
Slimsexy: (yelling) A GWANE TELL!!! Wait till Maas P fine out a who a tief out im mango a day time
Mutty: weh yu mean by tief! Alla dis lan a fi Jah lan. An since mi a Jah pikni….evryting pan di lan belang to mi toh.*lik im chess* Hincluding di mango
Slimsexy: Tell dat to Maas P dawg when im ketch yu
**wan dutty lukin bwoy wid im shirt a heng outta im pance yelled**
Neutral: no mango tree nuh safe roun wi...dawg or no dawg. Unnu knoa yu waan wan a di mango dem anyway...so tap gwane like unnu stush
Churchgirl: kiss out mi b-b-bombalistic bway!! A who yu a call stush
Showgirl: yu cyan all kip yu mango dutty bwoy…mi cyan still feel di lik mi granny gei mi di lass time mi nyam wan mango an dutty up mi school unifawm
Britisha: Unnu tink wi haff time fi lap wi fracktail an siddung a lissen to unnu...cum mek wi run go a school before di bell ring
**the boys were still around the mango tree, when off in the distance the school bell rings**
Jahlive: Rahtid wi late fi school agen…..Mi advise unnu fi run like dem set fiyah to unnu baxide ar else Teacha ago light up wi battam wid lik wen wi reacha school.
************************************************
In the front of the room stands the teacher with a ruler in her hand and her back to the class
**meanwhile the group of boys try to sneak in the back of the room before Afimi2 can turn around and catch them**
Afimi2: Unnu tink mi nuh si unnu...a di secan time unnu late fi di week. Since unnu a di lass wans fi cum een a mawnin time....who gwane be di fuss wan fi cum up an say di mawnin prayas
Bandido…why don’t you pray
Bandido1 stands up and bows his head in reverence…then without warning he shouts out
Bandido1:
Hail Mary full af grace
Dankey bite mi roun mi wayse
Dawg a lick, Puss a lick
All a wi a catalick
**class BOAL**
Afimi 2: unnu betta kip quiat or else evrybaddy inna di class a get lik tideh!!
Bandido, you tink yu a comedian!!...take your seat and I don’t want to hear any more outbursts from you for the rest of the day!
~~trying to compose herself~~
Afimi2:Class I hope everyone did their homework last night on what you would like to be when you grow up.
Class responds in unison: Yes Teacha!
Afimi2: so who would like to go first and tell the class about their assignment
(eager student in the front waving hand frantically)
BoogieD: Mi furss! Mi furss!
Afimi points to boogie then she stands up
Boogie D: When I grow up I would like to be a Lawyer, a songwriter, and a teacha juss like yu, Ms Afimi2... my favrit teacha
cntrygal
mumbling) What a gyal luv kiss up to di Teacha eeh....har lips reach so far up har baxide yu cyan hawdly si har face
Afimi2: Good job Boogie...and cntrygal, I don't want to hear any outbursts like that agen
**pointing to one of the boys**
So tell me.. what do you want to do when you grow up
Breeze: Well Ms. Teacha maam…mi waan go inna sales like mi olda bredda Gilbert.
Afimi2: What kind of sales?
Breeze: well mi bredda tell mi she im inna di pharmaceutical sales bizniz Maam. An fram wah mi si, a nuh nutten mi cyaa do. Im drive wan big cyar an im always haff muny pan im toh
Pepper (shouts out): yu mean yu waan grow up fi sell drugs!
**whole class BOAL**
Afimi2: quiet! Class Quiet
Bandido… here is a chance to redeem yourself.
What do yu want to be when yu grow up?
Bandido1: A dawg ketcha maam….umm weh mi mean is…. mi waan bi di Director of Canine Relocation maam
Afimi2: *slightly concerned* Well if that is your ambition then go for it Bandido1. Mutty what kind of job would you want to do?
Mutty: Well Teacha, de I nuh inna dem Babylon sitning deh because when de I see de I den de ear naw go hear de I because de teets dem a guh get inna de way. Seen
**whole class BOAL again**
Afimi2: (now visible upset) [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] is wah unnu tek mi classroom fah?
Esp: dat mi waan know tuh..dem tek yuh place tun ina tenament yawd eeh?
Afimi2: Esp, yu nat helping di situation..so please be quiet!
But it seem to mi like di ongly ting di hawd aize bway dem cyan andastan a lik.
**anedda student states outloud**
Alphagirl1989: Das right! all who cyaa hear must feel
Afimi2: AlphaGirl..mi haffi agree wid yu pan dat wan. So unnu get outta mi class and march straight to Sista Yardie Fi Life mek shi deal wid unnu
*the teacher grabs each boy by their collar an pushes them out the classroom door*
************************************************** ***
The group of boys take their time walking as they divise a plan on who should tek dem lik fuss fram di Headmistress
Jahlive (staat whispa): Wateva unnu do…juss tan dey an tek yu lik an done. Gad help unnu if yu duck an shi lik herself.
Neutral: Jahlive right! Sista YFL nah go satisfied till har bax reach dem target. So unnu betta juss tannup still till shi feel seh shi dun.
Bigboiee: Shi cyan lik mi as much as shi like,as lang as is har han shi lik mi wid an nat di peeca willow whip. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] **rubbing im baxide** Lass time it welt mi up fi weeks.
**the yungess boy speaks up**
John Crow: Is oba two year now mi neba get lik. Nat eben at home mi madda raise har han fi lik mi. But mi granny shi...if shi cud shi wudda lik mi fram har grave.
Capitall: Oh so yu a fresh foot! If anyting jus tek cupple lik fimmi deh to.
Wah?? Den yu wudden tek 2 likkle baby lik fi mi?
JohnCrow: Capy but mi fraid a lik bad sah. Fram di time mi granny bruk har han pan mi headside. Mi nuh tek di lik bizniz lightly
Capitall: cho man.. shi naw swing ie hawd .. jus tense up an tek ie
***as they arrived to the office YFL was already waiting their arrival***
YardieFiLife: Yu boys are making a habit out of this. A wanda if a boredom in class a cause unnu fi do tings unnu neva thought possible?
Bim: Anuh dat maam. Di teacha always tink wi a rabble rouser even when wi nuh do nutten wrang. Shi jussa descriminate genes wi
YardieFiLife: Oh a soh...well eida way unnu haffi learn an it seem like unnu kin too tuff an a get accustom to di lik but a have sumting betta in store fi unnu tideh. All if yu haffi tannup inna di sun till unnu foot dem drap awf...a gwane teach unnu a lesson tideh!
***As Lunchtime Comes***
All the boys are seen standing in the hot sun of the courtyard with a big rockstone in each hand..wan a dem staat talk to di adda wan
Kingy: a fiyu fault wi out inna di sun when is lunch time. Yu knoa ow mi belly dis a bawl fi hunga. Mi alla dream bout peeca PI an cyaa haff eny
Mutty:**staat drool** Yes wan big roun juicy peeca PI
Ja-kid: wedda is half a PI, PI squared or wan whole PI. Mi nuh cya ow yu waan slice it up....mi wudda tek peeca PI yah now toh.
Bim: a wanda if a cyan beg dah girl deh fi slice a [i]PI[i]....yu tink shi wudda gime peece?
Kingy: Bim, if yu get peece mi haffi get peece toh……Ey..pssst….Ey gyal beg yu slice a PI nuh??
BLOZ: Is mi yu a talk to soh?
Yu galang bad eeh? If a soh yu talk to smaddy when yu waan sumting fram dem. Imagine the tings weh woodan cum out yu mout if yu di bex wid mi
Kingy: tap gwane so BLOZ....yu knoa seh mi want a slice bad. Juss go get peeca di PI an bring back
BLOZ: mi a do dis wan ting fiyu an no badda ask mi anyting agen.
**************************************************
**across the courtyard another conversation is in progress**
Ackeegirl **walks & siddung beside grasshopper an whispers**: Guess who mi juss buck up roun di cawna....nuh Jazz an shi tell mi fi gei yu dis
*meking fist and tumping har owna eye dem fi demonstrate wah she seh fi give har*
~Grasshopper tun roun in shack~
An if dat wasn’t enuff shi tell mi fi tell yu seh yu leg dem lang an mawga like stik
Venn: Gyal yu nuh knoa ow fi cya metchiz yet!!! Shi nay sey fi tump yuhself inna yuh yeye dem, she sey fi jook har inna fihar! Like soh
**hole up har two finga an jook afta Grasshoper yeye**
Grasshopper: Oh no shi did nat…shi mussi tek mi fi pappyshow. But wuss dan dat…AG mi cyaa believe yu reely tek di messij fihar. An mi di tink seh yu a mi fren
Likklekay: Grass, yu knoa seh fren a tell yu di troot no matta wat. An mi hear Jazz wid mi owna aize an a dat sed ting shi seh bout yu
Ackeegirl: Grass yu knoa mi nuh carry go bring come…but when shi seh shi ago beat yu up afta school . Mi seh to myself mi haffi tell Grasshopper bout dis
Grasshopper: Shi seh alla dat
:cussandamibreat:
**she get so bex shi naily knack ova har bax juice**
(Just then another student sits down at the table)
DC: **teck out har bulla cake wid cheese an ginger beer fram har scandal bag**
A wah mi miss?? Is who seh dem waan beat up Grasshopper tideh?
Grasshopper: carreckshan… [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] *MI* ago beat up smaddy tideh. AG, do mi a fayva an cya dis back go gei Jazz
*hole har han inna wan fiss an tump afta har nose fi demonstrate weh AckeeG fi tell Jazz*
An mek sure shi knoa seh mi nuh fraida har an if shi tink shi bad meet mi dung a Maas P mango tree an wi cyan straighten dis out
to be continued............a hope di suspense doan kill unnu
Part II
As school let out, a crowd begins to draw dung a Maas P mango tree. Every student in di primary school was present to see what everyone was now dubbing the Fight of the Century.
Jahlive: **pullup wan cindablack** What a way dah gyal deh Jazz mean. Mi hear shi waan fite off di wholla di school now. A brag bout “dis is ongly di beginning”
Tuffstuff: Oh so shi waan fite di wholla wi! Shi betta mine or else shi might fine harself a eat dem same words next week when mi a shub har face inna di dirt...like soh
***pretending to hold someone down***
Venn: Jazz wudda neva ramp wid mi dem way deh, shi know sey mi wi mek mi Maxfield Ave fren dem laywait har outa HalfWay Tree an duss har out prappa
Ensome(running in outta breath): Wah mi miss? Di fite staat yet? Move ova nuh Jahlive! On secan tawt nuh badda. Fi mi batty naw guh fit pon hawf a di cinda black.
**Draw up two cinda black & tek a seat**
Leonie: Ensome, yu juss reach time couz. Finally it look like fight out fi staat...anuh Grasshoper dat mi si wid har bakkle a acid
***Grasshopper now joins the crowd***
Grasshopper: Ow so much ppl reach arredi. Unnu tink a movie unnu deh???
**continuous chatter can still be heard in the crowd**
Slimsexy: Speakin a movies nobaddi neva bring nuh prapcawn...mi hungry so till! Is wah dat yu haff wrap up inna yu scandal bag EP?
EP: likkle a mi leff ova lunch…rice and cow kidney.
Cntrygal: ow mi knoa yu wudda haff sumting fi nyam. (what a gyal luv har belly) puppa jezaso/
Linda: Girl, now dat Grasshopper reach yu need fi move ova mek mi get comfy toh….mi nuh waan miss nunna di fite
Countrygal: yu tink a ongly yu wan waan seat toh….yu betta small up yuself an fine space weh yu cyan, CHO!
Grashopper (pointing at Jahlive): An yu si yu…evryweh augument deh, yu draw seat.
Jahlive: but Grasshopper, babes mi a yu cheering section...Mi an chayil.**huggup chayil** Right chayil!?
Chayil: Yeh man...ow di cheer go agen. GRASSHOPPER IS DI BESS, NO ODDA BULLY CYAN TESS!!
(the crowd growingly becomes anxious as there is still no sign of Jazz)
Grasshopper: weh shi deh….mi seh WEH SHI DEH
***tumping har fiss in di palm of her hand***
Breeze: Luk ow long mi a wait fi di fite start…..juss as lang as is betta dan dat chupid show pan TV...celebrity boxing! **shaking head** Anyting would be betta dan dat!
littlekay: kaka fawt but wat a’clack it is now?...
Di way Jazz full a big chat mi ting she coulda at lease show up fi defen herself
**as soon as littlekay opened her mouth to say another word....everyone spots Jazz marching towards the crowd**
Jazz looked as though she was dressed for war in a full suit of armor. Every inch of her body was covered!
Countrygal: waeeee if a laugh tidey a pap up...Is weh Jazz tink shi a go? World War III
**Jahlive kick out im leg fi trip Jazz**
**but shi dis tep pan im ankle & shout out**
Jazz: Ey!! yu likkle cack batty crass yeye bwoy…weh yu a try do! Trip mi???? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]
Grasshoper: Oh so yu finally reach…mi tink yu run weh like lass time
Jazz: Run fram YU, nuh mek mi laff. Yu gwaan like seh yu tink big ooman frade ah oonu an oonu bag ah mout...
mi nuh talk an tek back - so wah???
come touch a button nuh...
Grasshopper: **tek out har vial a acid** A nuh ongly button mi plan fi tuch
Jazz: If a bax yu.....yu feneh!
Grasshopper: BAX MI NUH! if yu tink yu bad a wi si wah gad yu a serve yah tideh!
***Grasshopper has the bottle of acid in her hand ready, just in case Jazz makes a move***
Jazz: Wait!! Wait!!! Wi cyaa staat fight so quick. Yu nuh waan hear weh she seh bout yuh??? memba seh convasayshan go 2 way yuh nuh...
aks mi weh she seh nuh? jus aks mi...
Grasshopper: Yes, talk up! mi waan knoa evryting an who else a chat mi an a wah dem seh
R+: Grass yu really ago lissen to har flap har mout like wan a dem ole goat…..juss fling sum lick an stap talk
Grasshopper: Wait deh R+….mi haffi hear har out. Cah mi knoa ow Ackeegirl stay arredi. She luv cum een yah an stir up ants nes an gawn lef evribadi else a get bite.
Jazz: Is chroo, wudden be surprise if a peer lies shi tell mi…Wait till a ketch har. Mi haff siting puddung fi chatty mout Ackeegirl ehsi!
***during all of the commotion, no one seemed to notice that Ackeegirl was hiding in the mango tree. From their she had a bird’s eye view of what was going on and now she began to fret***
Ackeegirl:**biting nails & whispering to herslef** If dem eva fine out she a lie mi tell di boat a dem. Is either of two things…eeda mi dead in which case a hope smaddy call di poleese or mi enta di wickniz proteckshan program
Jahlive: Grasshopper…yu knoa mi wudden tell a lie. Right!? So believe yu mi when a tell yu Jazz really call yu foot mawga dayda day…so tap talk an juss shat har a bax
EP: Shi even tell mi afta shi dun wid yu...yu soon haffi walk wid scandal bag ova yu head. Ow yu wudda shame!
[b]Jazz/b]: (trying to keep everyone quiet) Grass no badda lissen to dem …! Memba seh mi an yuh go waaay back yuh nuh???
Yu a mi artical**lik har chess wid har fiss den hole up har two fingas**
*As the two begin to realize the lies told to each of them, Ackeegirl tries to think of the best way to sneak out of the mango tree*
Ackeegirl: Boy is nat safe fimi try cum out now, but what if dem spat mi. Hmmm a wanda..... if a climb dung pan Mass P side a di fence den dem wudda neva get di chance fi si mi fi beat mi up.
**as shi shifts, the branch begins to crack under her weight**
**Suddenly a loud noise was heard as one limb from the mango tree & Ackeegirl came crashing to the ground.The noise not only got the attention of the students, but also woke up Maas P pitbull name Festus**
**now Ackeegirl & Festus were standing face to snout**
** Instantly she remembers what she learned at school that if yu sing to a dog...then maybe they wont bite you. So Ackeegirl starts to sing and dance as a possible means of distraction**
Sandif: Is wah dat shi a do…fayva dem ole time brukins dance
Mountaingal: No man dat luk more like kumina ….a hope shi nuh tink dat ago save har hide fram Festus doah.
**the kids began to laugh and point but Festus was not amused**
Ackeegirl (singing):
Moonshine tonight
Come mek we dance and sing
Moonshine tonight
Come mek we play ring ding
Me deh rock soh
You deh rock soh
Under banyan tree….
**as she rocks from side to side she decides to make a run for it**
**But Festus jumped afta her an grabbed a hold of her uniform skirt**
**The two were now caught in a game of tug & war for a while…. until Festus finally won**
She was last seen running out of the front gate wid only a peeca tear up skirt and har bingo baggy a show
************************************************** *****************
Moral of the Story: If yu tell a lie try mek sure nuh get ketch wid yu baggy outtadoa! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
**Up by Maas P mango tree you can see a group of boys dressed in khaki shorts & shirt desperately trying to steal some ripe mango….one little natty head boy was climbing the tree as the others directed him on where to go **
Bandido1: dah wan deh…yu nuh seet
**pointing furiously**
Mi seh yu fi pick dah wan deh fimi. What a way it luk so SWEET..mi haffi haff dat fimi lunch tideh!
Mutty: (up in the tree) Ey Star, why yu always a pint out di mango dem weh way up inna di tree rasta. Yu nuh waan wan a di likkle wan dem dung a battam?
*Meanwhile a group of girls on their way to school saw the mischievious boys in the tree*
Slimsexy: (yelling) A GWANE TELL!!! Wait till Maas P fine out a who a tief out im mango a day time
Mutty: weh yu mean by tief! Alla dis lan a fi Jah lan. An since mi a Jah pikni….evryting pan di lan belang to mi toh.*lik im chess* Hincluding di mango
Slimsexy: Tell dat to Maas P dawg when im ketch yu
**wan dutty lukin bwoy wid im shirt a heng outta im pance yelled**
Neutral: no mango tree nuh safe roun wi...dawg or no dawg. Unnu knoa yu waan wan a di mango dem anyway...so tap gwane like unnu stush
Churchgirl: kiss out mi b-b-bombalistic bway!! A who yu a call stush
Showgirl: yu cyan all kip yu mango dutty bwoy…mi cyan still feel di lik mi granny gei mi di lass time mi nyam wan mango an dutty up mi school unifawm
Britisha: Unnu tink wi haff time fi lap wi fracktail an siddung a lissen to unnu...cum mek wi run go a school before di bell ring
**the boys were still around the mango tree, when off in the distance the school bell rings**
Jahlive: Rahtid wi late fi school agen…..Mi advise unnu fi run like dem set fiyah to unnu baxide ar else Teacha ago light up wi battam wid lik wen wi reacha school.
************************************************
In the front of the room stands the teacher with a ruler in her hand and her back to the class
**meanwhile the group of boys try to sneak in the back of the room before Afimi2 can turn around and catch them**
Afimi2: Unnu tink mi nuh si unnu...a di secan time unnu late fi di week. Since unnu a di lass wans fi cum een a mawnin time....who gwane be di fuss wan fi cum up an say di mawnin prayas
Bandido…why don’t you pray
Bandido1 stands up and bows his head in reverence…then without warning he shouts out
Bandido1:
Hail Mary full af grace
Dankey bite mi roun mi wayse
Dawg a lick, Puss a lick
All a wi a catalick
**class BOAL**
Afimi 2: unnu betta kip quiat or else evrybaddy inna di class a get lik tideh!!
Bandido, you tink yu a comedian!!...take your seat and I don’t want to hear any more outbursts from you for the rest of the day!
~~trying to compose herself~~
Afimi2:Class I hope everyone did their homework last night on what you would like to be when you grow up.
Class responds in unison: Yes Teacha!
Afimi2: so who would like to go first and tell the class about their assignment
(eager student in the front waving hand frantically)
BoogieD: Mi furss! Mi furss!
Afimi points to boogie then she stands up
Boogie D: When I grow up I would like to be a Lawyer, a songwriter, and a teacha juss like yu, Ms Afimi2... my favrit teacha
cntrygal
mumbling) What a gyal luv kiss up to di Teacha eeh....har lips reach so far up har baxide yu cyan hawdly si har faceAfimi2: Good job Boogie...and cntrygal, I don't want to hear any outbursts like that agen
**pointing to one of the boys**
So tell me.. what do you want to do when you grow up
Breeze: Well Ms. Teacha maam…mi waan go inna sales like mi olda bredda Gilbert.
Afimi2: What kind of sales?
Breeze: well mi bredda tell mi she im inna di pharmaceutical sales bizniz Maam. An fram wah mi si, a nuh nutten mi cyaa do. Im drive wan big cyar an im always haff muny pan im toh
Pepper (shouts out): yu mean yu waan grow up fi sell drugs!
**whole class BOAL**
Afimi2: quiet! Class Quiet
Bandido… here is a chance to redeem yourself.
What do yu want to be when yu grow up?
Bandido1: A dawg ketcha maam….umm weh mi mean is…. mi waan bi di Director of Canine Relocation maam
Afimi2: *slightly concerned* Well if that is your ambition then go for it Bandido1. Mutty what kind of job would you want to do?
Mutty: Well Teacha, de I nuh inna dem Babylon sitning deh because when de I see de I den de ear naw go hear de I because de teets dem a guh get inna de way. Seen
**whole class BOAL again**
Afimi2: (now visible upset) [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] is wah unnu tek mi classroom fah?
Esp: dat mi waan know tuh..dem tek yuh place tun ina tenament yawd eeh?
Afimi2: Esp, yu nat helping di situation..so please be quiet!
But it seem to mi like di ongly ting di hawd aize bway dem cyan andastan a lik.
**anedda student states outloud**
Alphagirl1989: Das right! all who cyaa hear must feel
Afimi2: AlphaGirl..mi haffi agree wid yu pan dat wan. So unnu get outta mi class and march straight to Sista Yardie Fi Life mek shi deal wid unnu
*the teacher grabs each boy by their collar an pushes them out the classroom door*
************************************************** ***
The group of boys take their time walking as they divise a plan on who should tek dem lik fuss fram di Headmistress
Jahlive (staat whispa): Wateva unnu do…juss tan dey an tek yu lik an done. Gad help unnu if yu duck an shi lik herself.
Neutral: Jahlive right! Sista YFL nah go satisfied till har bax reach dem target. So unnu betta juss tannup still till shi feel seh shi dun.
Bigboiee: Shi cyan lik mi as much as shi like,as lang as is har han shi lik mi wid an nat di peeca willow whip. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] **rubbing im baxide** Lass time it welt mi up fi weeks.
**the yungess boy speaks up**
John Crow: Is oba two year now mi neba get lik. Nat eben at home mi madda raise har han fi lik mi. But mi granny shi...if shi cud shi wudda lik mi fram har grave.
Capitall: Oh so yu a fresh foot! If anyting jus tek cupple lik fimmi deh to.
Wah?? Den yu wudden tek 2 likkle baby lik fi mi?
JohnCrow: Capy but mi fraid a lik bad sah. Fram di time mi granny bruk har han pan mi headside. Mi nuh tek di lik bizniz lightly
Capitall: cho man.. shi naw swing ie hawd .. jus tense up an tek ie
***as they arrived to the office YFL was already waiting their arrival***
YardieFiLife: Yu boys are making a habit out of this. A wanda if a boredom in class a cause unnu fi do tings unnu neva thought possible?
Bim: Anuh dat maam. Di teacha always tink wi a rabble rouser even when wi nuh do nutten wrang. Shi jussa descriminate genes wi
YardieFiLife: Oh a soh...well eida way unnu haffi learn an it seem like unnu kin too tuff an a get accustom to di lik but a have sumting betta in store fi unnu tideh. All if yu haffi tannup inna di sun till unnu foot dem drap awf...a gwane teach unnu a lesson tideh!
***As Lunchtime Comes***
All the boys are seen standing in the hot sun of the courtyard with a big rockstone in each hand..wan a dem staat talk to di adda wan
Kingy: a fiyu fault wi out inna di sun when is lunch time. Yu knoa ow mi belly dis a bawl fi hunga. Mi alla dream bout peeca PI an cyaa haff eny
Mutty:**staat drool** Yes wan big roun juicy peeca PI
Ja-kid: wedda is half a PI, PI squared or wan whole PI. Mi nuh cya ow yu waan slice it up....mi wudda tek peeca PI yah now toh.
Bim: a wanda if a cyan beg dah girl deh fi slice a [i]PI[i]....yu tink shi wudda gime peece?
Kingy: Bim, if yu get peece mi haffi get peece toh……Ey..pssst….Ey gyal beg yu slice a PI nuh??
BLOZ: Is mi yu a talk to soh?
Yu galang bad eeh? If a soh yu talk to smaddy when yu waan sumting fram dem. Imagine the tings weh woodan cum out yu mout if yu di bex wid miKingy: tap gwane so BLOZ....yu knoa seh mi want a slice bad. Juss go get peeca di PI an bring back
BLOZ: mi a do dis wan ting fiyu an no badda ask mi anyting agen.
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**across the courtyard another conversation is in progress**
Ackeegirl **walks & siddung beside grasshopper an whispers**: Guess who mi juss buck up roun di cawna....nuh Jazz an shi tell mi fi gei yu dis
*meking fist and tumping har owna eye dem fi demonstrate wah she seh fi give har*
~Grasshopper tun roun in shack~
An if dat wasn’t enuff shi tell mi fi tell yu seh yu leg dem lang an mawga like stik
Venn: Gyal yu nuh knoa ow fi cya metchiz yet!!! Shi nay sey fi tump yuhself inna yuh yeye dem, she sey fi jook har inna fihar! Like soh
**hole up har two finga an jook afta Grasshoper yeye**
Grasshopper: Oh no shi did nat…shi mussi tek mi fi pappyshow. But wuss dan dat…AG mi cyaa believe yu reely tek di messij fihar. An mi di tink seh yu a mi fren
Likklekay: Grass, yu knoa seh fren a tell yu di troot no matta wat. An mi hear Jazz wid mi owna aize an a dat sed ting shi seh bout yu
Ackeegirl: Grass yu knoa mi nuh carry go bring come…but when shi seh shi ago beat yu up afta school . Mi seh to myself mi haffi tell Grasshopper bout dis
Grasshopper: Shi seh alla dat
:cussandamibreat:
**she get so bex shi naily knack ova har bax juice**
(Just then another student sits down at the table)
DC: **teck out har bulla cake wid cheese an ginger beer fram har scandal bag**
A wah mi miss?? Is who seh dem waan beat up Grasshopper tideh?
Grasshopper: carreckshan… [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] *MI* ago beat up smaddy tideh. AG, do mi a fayva an cya dis back go gei Jazz
*hole har han inna wan fiss an tump afta har nose fi demonstrate weh AckeeG fi tell Jazz*
An mek sure shi knoa seh mi nuh fraida har an if shi tink shi bad meet mi dung a Maas P mango tree an wi cyan straighten dis out
to be continued............a hope di suspense doan kill unnu
Part II
As school let out, a crowd begins to draw dung a Maas P mango tree. Every student in di primary school was present to see what everyone was now dubbing the Fight of the Century.
Jahlive: **pullup wan cindablack** What a way dah gyal deh Jazz mean. Mi hear shi waan fite off di wholla di school now. A brag bout “dis is ongly di beginning”
Tuffstuff: Oh so shi waan fite di wholla wi! Shi betta mine or else shi might fine harself a eat dem same words next week when mi a shub har face inna di dirt...like soh
***pretending to hold someone down***
Venn: Jazz wudda neva ramp wid mi dem way deh, shi know sey mi wi mek mi Maxfield Ave fren dem laywait har outa HalfWay Tree an duss har out prappa
Ensome(running in outta breath): Wah mi miss? Di fite staat yet? Move ova nuh Jahlive! On secan tawt nuh badda. Fi mi batty naw guh fit pon hawf a di cinda black.
**Draw up two cinda black & tek a seat**
Leonie: Ensome, yu juss reach time couz. Finally it look like fight out fi staat...anuh Grasshoper dat mi si wid har bakkle a acid
***Grasshopper now joins the crowd***
Grasshopper: Ow so much ppl reach arredi. Unnu tink a movie unnu deh???
**continuous chatter can still be heard in the crowd**
Slimsexy: Speakin a movies nobaddi neva bring nuh prapcawn...mi hungry so till! Is wah dat yu haff wrap up inna yu scandal bag EP?
EP: likkle a mi leff ova lunch…rice and cow kidney.
Cntrygal: ow mi knoa yu wudda haff sumting fi nyam. (what a gyal luv har belly) puppa jezaso/
Linda: Girl, now dat Grasshopper reach yu need fi move ova mek mi get comfy toh….mi nuh waan miss nunna di fite
Countrygal: yu tink a ongly yu wan waan seat toh….yu betta small up yuself an fine space weh yu cyan, CHO!
Grashopper (pointing at Jahlive): An yu si yu…evryweh augument deh, yu draw seat.
Jahlive: but Grasshopper, babes mi a yu cheering section...Mi an chayil.**huggup chayil** Right chayil!?
Chayil: Yeh man...ow di cheer go agen. GRASSHOPPER IS DI BESS, NO ODDA BULLY CYAN TESS!!
(the crowd growingly becomes anxious as there is still no sign of Jazz)
Grasshopper: weh shi deh….mi seh WEH SHI DEH
***tumping har fiss in di palm of her hand***
Breeze: Luk ow long mi a wait fi di fite start…..juss as lang as is betta dan dat chupid show pan TV...celebrity boxing! **shaking head** Anyting would be betta dan dat!
littlekay: kaka fawt but wat a’clack it is now?...
Di way Jazz full a big chat mi ting she coulda at lease show up fi defen herself
**as soon as littlekay opened her mouth to say another word....everyone spots Jazz marching towards the crowd**
Jazz looked as though she was dressed for war in a full suit of armor. Every inch of her body was covered!
Countrygal: waeeee if a laugh tidey a pap up...Is weh Jazz tink shi a go? World War III
**Jahlive kick out im leg fi trip Jazz**
**but shi dis tep pan im ankle & shout out**
Jazz: Ey!! yu likkle cack batty crass yeye bwoy…weh yu a try do! Trip mi???? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]
Grasshoper: Oh so yu finally reach…mi tink yu run weh like lass time
Jazz: Run fram YU, nuh mek mi laff. Yu gwaan like seh yu tink big ooman frade ah oonu an oonu bag ah mout...
mi nuh talk an tek back - so wah???
come touch a button nuh...
Grasshopper: **tek out har vial a acid** A nuh ongly button mi plan fi tuch
Jazz: If a bax yu.....yu feneh!
Grasshopper: BAX MI NUH! if yu tink yu bad a wi si wah gad yu a serve yah tideh!
***Grasshopper has the bottle of acid in her hand ready, just in case Jazz makes a move***
Jazz: Wait!! Wait!!! Wi cyaa staat fight so quick. Yu nuh waan hear weh she seh bout yuh??? memba seh convasayshan go 2 way yuh nuh...
aks mi weh she seh nuh? jus aks mi...
Grasshopper: Yes, talk up! mi waan knoa evryting an who else a chat mi an a wah dem seh
R+: Grass yu really ago lissen to har flap har mout like wan a dem ole goat…..juss fling sum lick an stap talk
Grasshopper: Wait deh R+….mi haffi hear har out. Cah mi knoa ow Ackeegirl stay arredi. She luv cum een yah an stir up ants nes an gawn lef evribadi else a get bite.
Jazz: Is chroo, wudden be surprise if a peer lies shi tell mi…Wait till a ketch har. Mi haff siting puddung fi chatty mout Ackeegirl ehsi!
***during all of the commotion, no one seemed to notice that Ackeegirl was hiding in the mango tree. From their she had a bird’s eye view of what was going on and now she began to fret***
Ackeegirl:**biting nails & whispering to herslef** If dem eva fine out she a lie mi tell di boat a dem. Is either of two things…eeda mi dead in which case a hope smaddy call di poleese or mi enta di wickniz proteckshan program
Jahlive: Grasshopper…yu knoa mi wudden tell a lie. Right!? So believe yu mi when a tell yu Jazz really call yu foot mawga dayda day…so tap talk an juss shat har a bax
EP: Shi even tell mi afta shi dun wid yu...yu soon haffi walk wid scandal bag ova yu head. Ow yu wudda shame!
[b]Jazz/b]: (trying to keep everyone quiet) Grass no badda lissen to dem …! Memba seh mi an yuh go waaay back yuh nuh???
Yu a mi artical**lik har chess wid har fiss den hole up har two fingas**
*As the two begin to realize the lies told to each of them, Ackeegirl tries to think of the best way to sneak out of the mango tree*
Ackeegirl: Boy is nat safe fimi try cum out now, but what if dem spat mi. Hmmm a wanda..... if a climb dung pan Mass P side a di fence den dem wudda neva get di chance fi si mi fi beat mi up.
**as shi shifts, the branch begins to crack under her weight**
**Suddenly a loud noise was heard as one limb from the mango tree & Ackeegirl came crashing to the ground.The noise not only got the attention of the students, but also woke up Maas P pitbull name Festus**
**now Ackeegirl & Festus were standing face to snout**
** Instantly she remembers what she learned at school that if yu sing to a dog...then maybe they wont bite you. So Ackeegirl starts to sing and dance as a possible means of distraction**
Sandif: Is wah dat shi a do…fayva dem ole time brukins dance
Mountaingal: No man dat luk more like kumina ….a hope shi nuh tink dat ago save har hide fram Festus doah.
**the kids began to laugh and point but Festus was not amused**
Ackeegirl (singing):
Moonshine tonight
Come mek we dance and sing
Moonshine tonight
Come mek we play ring ding
Me deh rock soh
You deh rock soh
Under banyan tree….
**as she rocks from side to side she decides to make a run for it**
**But Festus jumped afta her an grabbed a hold of her uniform skirt**
**The two were now caught in a game of tug & war for a while…. until Festus finally won**
She was last seen running out of the front gate wid only a peeca tear up skirt and har bingo baggy a show
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Moral of the Story: If yu tell a lie try mek sure nuh get ketch wid yu baggy outtadoa! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
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