AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

DC · 01-13-2003, 06:05 AM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

Sistagirl: yu know wha..mi gree wid yu to Jazz..Ochee and I were just talkin about this!! bwoy have times changed . but I hear yuh Jazz, some people …..

a loud angry outburst interrupted Sistagirl’s chatter….Everyone stood up on da vernadah wondering what in the world is going on in this calm and bored community. They have not heard sounds like this in the neighborhood for a long long time..

ackeegirl’s highpitched voice echoed through the peaceful community

Ackeegril:
Gwan gal yuh fava teggereg
Ah weh yuh gwine goh do?
Yuh and yuh boogooyagga fren
Dem tink me fraid ah yuh?

Britisha who lived down the street was heard yelling out to Ackeegirl..

Britisha:(((Ackeegirl)) What did you jrink, coffee, tea or sorell wid halcohol?

* by now the streets were filling up wid people as curious onlookers crowded the once quiet streets of Bored Lane. Everyone ran down di verandah to get a better veiw*

Ackeegirl: all mi know seh is time dis dallyhouse mash up...smaddy cawl di Sheriff!
* a disheveled Ackeegirl was seen coming down the street in a rage. The crowd fell into step wid Ackeegirl as she stepped pass the people with everyone wondering what the hell is going on*

One resident yelled out to Ackeegirl:
Tiffy Taffy: ((AG)) ah who mek yuh mad yuh ah cuss so

Ackeegirl turned to address the now crowded streets of faaas people who ran out of their houses in bathrobes, curlers, shaving cream on faces..

ackeegirl Mi know plenty a dem noh like me
An doah de time soh hard
Mi kip fur from dem far -"cockroach
Noh bizniz a fowl yard."

One refined young lady, Miss Portmore who always look for a chance to show off her knowledge of the culture turned and whisper to a young man standing close to her:
Miss Portmore I happen to know that proverb. Do you know it? How about this one? “If you cannot get to someone, get to their shirt”. Do you know it?
Evanovitch . At a time like dis yu a talk bout proverbs. An a beg yu fi stap spwile up wi likkle culture. A noh soh it goh: A soh yufi say it: if u caan ketch musmus,u ketch im pickeny!..

Someone in the crowd turned an whisper for them to shush*
Ackeegirl was still talking....

DC · 01-13-2003, 06:07 AM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

(will post some more tomorrow)--warning-might be kinda long..Nite

DC · 01-13-2003, 02:05 PM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

Ackeegirl..you know somebody bruk ina mi grandmodda shap and teif out har sumting dem an
Dats why ah miss mi Mumma yaw
Ef she was alive tideh
All dem libaty couldn't teck wid me
Dem couldna sey me sey.

the Pon dah verandah group was stunned

Jazz..lawd, a who tell mi fi goh open mi mout bout disya place boring. Lawd, a who woulda goh do sucha wicked an dirty hact now…

one woman yelled from the back of the crowd

Ctry: (((((ackeegirl)))) stan firm my girl, and dont mek satan rock u boat

By now, there was an angry buzz now in the crowd

Indira:di whole damn lot a dem fi fry..whoeva dweet..
Jazz: whoeva dweet fi heng..dem too evil!
*Nunya walked up to Ackeegirl who was still very upset*
Nunya: ((((ackeeg)))) Is nat cawse ah waa hug yuh up or nutn eno, is jus cawse eerbady else a dweet.

The Pon da Verandah group huddled together wondering at the turn of events in BoredLane. They were joined by other residents as they discuss the happenings.

Bawnainglan:Yet more teefings, it gone outta hand now…
Pepper..a wonda if lie she a tell pon people doah..
Sweetsopp: you must not tell lie pon is sickness cause it will ketch you
Chickie: dats why yu nuffi tell lie sometime..
Poss88: Yu know on di subject of lying, mi want fi know. Why do so many foreigners wear dreadlocks? Where in the world has there been dreadlocks before Jamaica? I never heard of any such place. Bring on the proof.
Churchgirl: yu talking bout dat. I'm told I 'speak white'. talk bout ignorance.*rolleyes*
JaIndian06: I can't stand the way "ghetto" people talk, cas is dem chat bad!
Sukuna: So wa yu a try fe say? If a so me a talk, me a talk lakka wa? Animal?
Miss Cutiecutie: oh no, let's not make this a color or religious issue b/c that is exactly where it is goin

DC · 01-13-2003, 02:09 PM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

Tropicana: Why do we always want to hide? Let us call a spade a spade. I for one am sick of not being able to meet any Black Christian single men. I am sick of being rejected, ignored and overlooked by the Christian single men I do know (who happen to be White). I am sick of seeing Christian men who claim to be spiritually mature chasing blondes half their age who dress in skimpy clothing. I am not happy about being single and I make no bones about it.
Wahalla: Naw, not me. I have a life partner, but recall with great fondness the good old days when I was miserable and single.....

there was some chuckling from the the little group. Everyone had now completely forgotten about poor ackeegirl and her dilemma and was listening intently to the conversation taking place..

Witchy ooman: On the topic of religion, *I* had to make a short comment on this..Some good (White) Christians pointed out to the Senior Churchwarden that he was "skating on thin ice", being as he was (1) Black, and (2) a Carribbean... and therefore, not quite fit to lead their church, any more than was the Jew…..

The crowd appeared relieved when Pepper interrupted Witchy

Pepper: I just have one question for Tropicana, Would you date a man that allowed you to take care of him financially?
Tropicana: no WAY JOSÉ.. I am no spring chicken
King Dajah: whisper to Jazz: I am nat a talkative person, an dat is why I keep to myself as I have nothing in common with these ppl, Anyway mi feel is fe mi job fe tell dese oomans seh dem suffa fram " talkamus, toomuchamus
Jazz(whisper back) yuh fe learn some mannas, noh bredda..

Suddenly a commotion from the other end of the street caused the conversation to come to a halt. Lo and behold, there was Grandma herself(affectionately known as G2) coming down the street with some angry strides. No one has ever seen G2 this mad before. The crowd parted like Red Sea as she came down the pathway..

Grandma2: a wanda a who a de police dem pon Boredlane cause ongle Jah knoh say dem a tek out hole heap a warrant tidat tiday...

*Suddenly a shrill voice spoke up*

SimmyMi know a who dweet G2.

*The crowd turned to look at the speaker. It was shy Simmy who hardly spoke. Everyone continued to be shocked at the unexpected happenings. Some were saying it’s a miracle.
Simmy continued speaking-apparently loving the attention

DC · 01-13-2003, 02:14 PM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

Simmya dat dey rattan teet bway jahlive cum dung yah cum teif out di wola yu sinting ting dem.

Jahlive was shocked and confused. He could not believe that Simmy told on him. He hoped his suave personality could win G2 over.

Jahlive: G2 dawlin mi sweetypie sugga plum. Dat wasn't mi yu hear. Mi did com dung dey fi check yu an mi buk up Miss Portmore an Bruk Bak..

*Miss Portmore interrupted Jahlive as the crowd’s growing displeasure began to be noticable
Miss Portmore: Please know that it was impossible for me to cause such a wreck in the shop since the whole of Boredlane knows that I cannot cook…….

BrukBak not to be undone, interrupted Miss Portmore*

BrukBakLawd, unu hear sey dere is a man goin around wearing a Brukky mask and a bruk peeple shap? Mi know, mi know, mi cudden beleeve it eeda.
Sweetsopp: Yu noh hear mi say you must not tell lie
Neutral: mi wie tun witness,cause mi did warn dem but dem nay listen,serve dem right

Suddenly a loud wailing was heard above the din of chatter

Miss Portmore: Is me! Is me! Mi kick dung di door to G2 shap!!!an tell dem say Lunch is free....Mi tell dem fi come help oonu self...
Queenb: to harself **dyam brite. Mi cyaan mek nuh munny wid dis ooman mash up mi bizness!** Now everybady gwey staat fi get suspicious bout mi to now..

G2: Oonu come yah.. front an center!! see de hancuff dem ya!!

Ms Powell: Den G2, mi a look pon di handcuff dem,but why am I suddently hawny G2??

There was a second of silence and then a huge burst of laughter from the crowd. People were wiping tears from their eyes and G2 and Ackeegirl were holding their bellies from laughing so much…
As soon as G2 could get a hold of herself, she motioned for silence as she wiped her eyes.

G2 well afta dat deh laugh.....mi go amend de warrant...oonu betta tenk gad fi Miss Powell..awright look people, a lang time wi neva have summuch fun ina Boredlane. Something has happened to us. All of a sudden mi noh feel bored

DC · 01-13-2003, 02:19 PM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

at all. Oonu come mek wi change wi name from boredlane to Boardlane. Whe oonu say?

All hands were raised. Jazz was excited and couldn't help but walk up an give G2 one big hug.
Jazz dat is wat i love to see - willingniss to forsake all other work in the pursuit af igleniss...Mi a talk bout di same ting dis evening…

To the crowd;

Jazz We are not BoredLane any longer!. We are the generation that knows how to iggle and have fun. mi seh boardlane will nevva si ah set of dedicated IGLERS as we will see in the future. Our children will kow how to iggle!! Even di cat and dawg will learn to iggle.. We dare to call ourself true iglers...True iglers! let NOTHING-I say nothing- deter you from the pursuit of IGLING...

there was a deafening roar as everyone clapped and shouted in agreement to Jazz’s fired up speech..A woman shouted out..

Tektime: I hearby from this day forth pronounce my commitment to true IGLING! Day in and day out I shall walk about di Boadlane igling here, there and every where.
Fledgist: Well, all I have to say this time of true iggling celebration is:
All my days won't be dances of delight when I'm gone
And the sands will be shifting from my sight when I'm gone
Can't add my name into the fight while I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

there was another roar of applause. Another booming voice came across the crowd..

Mutty: True! True!Nuff people get dem igling interrupted because dem gaan go fine sinting fi do like wuk, rooks up de place and have baby. All kinna honhimportant sinting dem ah invalve inna. Its time people need to get their damn priorities straight! Cho

another deafening roar of applause

Ensom Lady: A true yu a talk! Is di constant nagging a work mi cyaan tek. Mi work best wen yuh lef mi di hell alone. Gimme di sitten an disappear. Ef mi ave any questions mi wi ask yuh. Odda dan dat...GET OUTTA MI FACE. Sheesh!!
Capital: Tel him yu nuh chat to peeple who fah yeye nuh line up wid fiyu becasue yu is a true iggler!!

DC · 01-13-2003, 02:20 PM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

LittleKay: Same ting mi a say to Cappy..EnsomLady tell im yuh presha gone up and yuh feel like yuh a pass out and den just gwan roun a back an goh iggle….
Jazz Now dats di spirit.. Long live Boardlane!!!!

The End.

**ackeegirl** · 01-13-2003, 02:55 PM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

ah dis mi like! dis is how Suss fi write! [img]/forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Tank you Silent River..you outdid yourself! 5-star rating for dis Suss Report!

Yeaaahhhh!

**Jazz** · 01-13-2003, 03:35 PM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

*DWL* Silent River - that was a good suss... you did a good job of intertwining the diff posts...

****clap clap clap*****

can we get anedda wan nex week? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

**msportmore** · 01-13-2003, 04:00 PM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

Silent River...big up yusself [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] Fi real....nuff respect an acolades....Come front and center and take a bow [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Very, very well done!

DC · 01-13-2003, 10:32 PM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

Muchas gracias [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]tenk oonu beary much [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] Glad you enjoyed it...It was actually fun putting it together. So sorry I could not insert more quotes from across the board. You people say some of the most hilarious things on this place at times.

Jazz..I had extra time on my hands this week ..not too sure of next week but mmmm... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

walk good....*made a sweeping bow*

**twiney** · 01-13-2003, 11:14 PM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

Originally posted by Silent River:
[qb]Muchas gracias [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]tenk oonu beary much [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Jazz..I had extra time on my hands this week ..not too sure of next week but mmmm... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

walk good....*made a sweeping bow*[/qb]

Good Job and in the name of iggleness I recommend that you make the time next week even if you have to pretend to work at work. Thanks in advance [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

**sistactry** · 01-14-2003, 11:02 AM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

^5 ((((Silent River)))), big up me luv,

tanks fe de laffs, [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

girl, u gots tolent, luv it cyaan dun, [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

DC · 01-15-2003, 10:52 PM

Re: AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

thanks Ctry and Shelby [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] ...
*lol @ Shelby*..be a true iggler huh?? [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

AS BOREDLANE TURNS!!-Suss yes a suss

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