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Why? Why? Why?
Lloyd B Smith
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
It's that time of year when I once again focus on some of my pet peeves. After all, living in Jamaica these days is having to deal with one peeve after another. What is a peeve?
Lloyd B Smith
According to the Concise Oxford English Dictionary, a peeve is "a cause of annoyance". To peeve is to annoy or irritate. And it doesn't take much to get anyone peeved these days, what with the many socio-economic pressures that abound.
In this article, I will focus on some of those peeves which I am sure are common among many Jamaicans. Perhaps the high rate of persons suffering from hypertension and other stress-related illnesses is an indicator of the volatile state of this country. It doesn't take much to tick somebody off these days. Just walk or drive around and you will encounter all kinds of contentious situations, inclusive of verbal attacks or physical assault. Just "mash a man on 'im toe" (accidentally, of course) and you are likely to lose your life! Of course, the "mashing of corn" can be also a figurative exercise but it is likely to result in your being subject to be knifed, shot or hacked to death.
My first pet peeve has to do with our firefighters. Why is it that in 99 per cent of the cases of reported fire, all that is carried out is a "cooling-down exercise"? I find this very strange. Is it that the response time is too long or is it that the fire brigade personnel are ill-equipped? And why is it that the authorities allow so many persons to occupy those dwellings in inner-city communities where the houses are usually made of wood with illegal or improper electrical connections which often lead to a short circuit and a devastating conflagration?
Second, why at dancehall sessions do the male patrons dance mostly by themselves or in groups while the women are on the other side of the room gyrating all by themselves? In the good old days, a man would walk across the floor (sometimes with much trepidation) and politely ask for a dance with the lady of his choice. Of course, she had the privilege and pleasure of saying no. These days, "a no so it go." If push comes to shove, the female is approached in a most aggressive manner and the dance is demanded with a "screw face". The daggerin' that ensues treats the woman as a mere sexual object to be "stabbed" from every possible angle. What is most intriguing is that in a predominantly homophobic society, most dances nowadays are performed with the man "attacking from the back"! Very rarely from the front. Oh, for the days of "rent a tile"!
Third, there is what can be called "motormania in Jamaica". A good friend of mine says he has come up with the perfect response for dealing with the many traffic violations that he encounters each day. Every time someone "bad-drives" him, he just laughs and continues on his merry way. In this violence-prone country of ours, what a creative way to counter road rage. Why as the light changes to green must some moron toot his horn vociferously? Why whenever there is a traffic delay so many lines have to be formed while some drivers just continue on their merry way on the right side of the road causing further combustion further down? Why do drivers overtake at sections of the main roads where there are signs strategically placed advising them not to do so? And why do so many motorists go through the red light at will and stop in the middle of the road to hold a conversation or let off a passenger? Not to mention those unconscionable cellphone users. And I could go on. Well, smile, Jamaica, no problem, mon!
Fourth, why is it that our parliamentarians continue to "trace off" one another in the House? What is most distressing is that the Upper House (the Senate) has now sunk to the same level as the Lower House where members of parliament sit, if not the lowest! What is even most disconcerting is that there is not enough uproar coming from the wider society with respect to the despicable and crass behaviour of our elected representatives. A teacher recently told me that she had to beat a hasty retreat with her students during a parliamentary session because of what was transpiring. The poor woman was so ashamed and embarrassed at what she saw and heard after having given her students the impression that they were entering a hallowed place. Both Prime Minister Bruce Golding and Opposition Leader Portia Simpson Miller ought to have a serious talk with their colleagues and read them the riot act.
Fifth, why is that our national football players excite the imagination of the Jamaican people only when they are winning? This is a prime example of what is commonly known as the "wagonist mentality". We unfurl the black, green and gold only when our athletes are doing well, but the moment they falter, we take them down a peg or two. In some cases, some of the most vicious rumours abound and those who were once the darlings of the masses become personae non gratae. Mind you, where football is concerned, I am one of those Jamaicans who feel that more effort should be made to focus on homegrown players rather than relying so heavily on overseas imports. If the national programme is really going to take off in the long term, then I truly believe that is the way to go. Over to you, captain.
My final pet peeve for now is, why is it that so many prominent Jamaicans in various professions, including the media, have such a poor grasp of English? More anon.
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