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So I'm sitting on the veranda of my hotel room in Negril, and the sun it blazes down so hot the sand itself seems to be melting. The place seems empty and lonely in this late-summer season, even though I know in the evening many people will emerge out of nowhere for the nightly beach party. Drawn like bees to the bonfire, or is it the sweet smell of sex? But now, in the mid-afternoon heat, I feel lonely.
And the housekeeper emerges from cleaning my room, and plops down on the seat next to me. "Howz it goin?" she asks. Only in Jamaica! So I say, "it's going fine, but I'm a bit lonely". She looks at me. "No wife? No girlfriend?". No, I reply, I came here alone. Well, if I go to the nightly beach party, I'm sure to meet a girl for me, she tells me. No, tried that last night, and got robbed, I tell her. "Ah, so yu waan meet a *nice* girl?" she asks. And she sits and ponders for a bit, like I've just given her a challenging mathematical problem. Presently she says, "Yu waan fi come back to my place tonight? Mi have a niece you can meet...". Sure, why not? I agree...
So later we take a taxi to her likkle home in the hills. First along the coast a bit, then inland, and up up up way high in the hills. Past several likkle villages. People hanging out in front of their shacks, watching the taxi climb the steep rubble-strewn mashed-up road. Finally we arrive at a little yellow shack at the top of a hill, surrounded by a dusty yard. A goat in the yard looks at me curiously. All around are rolling green hills covered with lush tropical vegetation. It's beautiful up here! "Wait in da yard" the housekeeper says, and goes into the shack. I hear a discussion/argument going on inside, but in a thick country patois I can't follow. I imagine it goes something like: "I brought a white man for you". "You did WHAT???". "Well, you hang around mi house wit no job and no money, mi cyant afford to feed you no more, so maybe de white mon will take you away"...
Meanwhile a couple of likkle pickneys are playing in the yard. They are so engrossed in their game of "chase the chicken under the house" they don't seem to notice me. It goes like this: A mother chicken pokes her head out from under the house (which is raised up on cinder blocks). All's clear. She emerges followed by several little chicks. Then the 2 pickneys, who are hardly any bigger than the mother chicken, rush it and say "BOO". The chicken and her chicks scurry back under the house. Wait a couple of minutes, and it repeats...
I sit there and wait and watch and soak in the peacefulness and beauty of the place.
Eventually the niece emerges. Beautiful like an African princess! She plops down next to me. "Hi". "Hi". An awkward conversation ensues. "You like me?" she asks. "Yes, I do" I reply, thinking I hardly know her. "Why?" she asks. "Well..." (what can I say I think? say what's true...) "...you're very *pretty*". She looks at me. "So are you going to marry me and take me back to America to live in a big house?". I do a double-take at that question, but then realize from her smile that's she's just teasing me. So I tease her back: "You like me?" I ask. "Yes, I do" she replies. "Why?" I ask. "Well, you're very... *handsome*" she mimics. "Are you going to marry me and invite me to live up here in your little home and cook me chicken and rice every night?" I ask. She laughs.
Later we do indeed eat a simple but delicious meal of chicken and rice. And the sun goes down, and the clouds gather, and a thunderstorm knocks out all the power. I huddle in the dark, with the women and pickneys, as the rain pounds down on the tin roof. Curiously, they seem scared of a thunderstorm, and nobody joins me when I venture out to watch the beauty of the lightning lighting up the green hills.
Still later I realize I am stuck up there since there are no working phones and my plan to call the taxi man and say "come get me" isn't going to work. But my "African princess" graciously offers to share her bed. I lie next to her and listen to the wild dogs barking and the crickets chirping and feel a million miles from home...and happy.
And the housekeeper emerges from cleaning my room, and plops down on the seat next to me. "Howz it goin?" she asks. Only in Jamaica! So I say, "it's going fine, but I'm a bit lonely". She looks at me. "No wife? No girlfriend?". No, I reply, I came here alone. Well, if I go to the nightly beach party, I'm sure to meet a girl for me, she tells me. No, tried that last night, and got robbed, I tell her. "Ah, so yu waan meet a *nice* girl?" she asks. And she sits and ponders for a bit, like I've just given her a challenging mathematical problem. Presently she says, "Yu waan fi come back to my place tonight? Mi have a niece you can meet...". Sure, why not? I agree...
So later we take a taxi to her likkle home in the hills. First along the coast a bit, then inland, and up up up way high in the hills. Past several likkle villages. People hanging out in front of their shacks, watching the taxi climb the steep rubble-strewn mashed-up road. Finally we arrive at a little yellow shack at the top of a hill, surrounded by a dusty yard. A goat in the yard looks at me curiously. All around are rolling green hills covered with lush tropical vegetation. It's beautiful up here! "Wait in da yard" the housekeeper says, and goes into the shack. I hear a discussion/argument going on inside, but in a thick country patois I can't follow. I imagine it goes something like: "I brought a white man for you". "You did WHAT???". "Well, you hang around mi house wit no job and no money, mi cyant afford to feed you no more, so maybe de white mon will take you away"...
Meanwhile a couple of likkle pickneys are playing in the yard. They are so engrossed in their game of "chase the chicken under the house" they don't seem to notice me. It goes like this: A mother chicken pokes her head out from under the house (which is raised up on cinder blocks). All's clear. She emerges followed by several little chicks. Then the 2 pickneys, who are hardly any bigger than the mother chicken, rush it and say "BOO". The chicken and her chicks scurry back under the house. Wait a couple of minutes, and it repeats...
I sit there and wait and watch and soak in the peacefulness and beauty of the place.
Eventually the niece emerges. Beautiful like an African princess! She plops down next to me. "Hi". "Hi". An awkward conversation ensues. "You like me?" she asks. "Yes, I do" I reply, thinking I hardly know her. "Why?" she asks. "Well..." (what can I say I think? say what's true...) "...you're very *pretty*". She looks at me. "So are you going to marry me and take me back to America to live in a big house?". I do a double-take at that question, but then realize from her smile that's she's just teasing me. So I tease her back: "You like me?" I ask. "Yes, I do" she replies. "Why?" I ask. "Well, you're very... *handsome*" she mimics. "Are you going to marry me and invite me to live up here in your little home and cook me chicken and rice every night?" I ask. She laughs.
Later we do indeed eat a simple but delicious meal of chicken and rice. And the sun goes down, and the clouds gather, and a thunderstorm knocks out all the power. I huddle in the dark, with the women and pickneys, as the rain pounds down on the tin roof. Curiously, they seem scared of a thunderstorm, and nobody joins me when I venture out to watch the beauty of the lightning lighting up the green hills.
Still later I realize I am stuck up there since there are no working phones and my plan to call the taxi man and say "come get me" isn't going to work. But my "African princess" graciously offers to share her bed. I lie next to her and listen to the wild dogs barking and the crickets chirping and feel a million miles from home...and happy.
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