In this day and age

[f0rTyLeGz]

Re: In this day and age

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">and kids have such bad judgment after all raising them is a process </div></div>
this about sums it up </div></div>
But aren't the parents the cause of then having such bad judgement? Isn't being afraid of strangers as parents more of anxiety that has been created by TV and news outlets, than a reality?

I think that 99.9% of child abductions, disappearances, murders are done by family, or trusted friends or neighbors.

You suggest that kids don't even look you in the eye, but I would venture a guess that when you asked this little salesgirl, &quot;Where are your mummy and daddy?&quot; that she looked you in the eye... wondering where you were going next?

Being afraid of strangers, and believing that there are &quot;predators&quot; out looking for kids to snatch in every neighborhood is a sorry place to come from when you are a parent, although I know that that is the way it is nowadays. It is a powerless place, and I believe that high self-esteem is a feeling of power... a feeling of being in control, where you understand what is going on out there and feel competent to deal with it.

I've been lurking and reading this thread, wanting to say a little something, but afraid I'd get my head thumped (or worse... ignored), but today I was out walking my dog in the neighborhood, and two young kids came down the sidewalk... a six year old boy on a little bike, and a girl maybe 8 running along beside him, and not a grownup in sight. We moved off the sidewalk so they could pass by, and the little girl stopped and said, &quot;Can I pet your dog?&quot; Well, was I surprised?! This is the first stranger child that has spoken to me first in many years... I thought of this thread... go figure?

[Marielle]

Re: In this day and age

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

would you send your 9 year old girl or boy, around your neighborhood on their own to ask ppl to support their fundraising activities?

I just had a neighborhood girl come to the door for that reason. I was shocked to see that neither mom or dad were shadowing her as she was going house to house.

Do you know and trust your neighbors enough to do that?? </div></div>

Wow!! Scary!!

My son did do it once, also around 9 years old, but only in the (10 units)appartment block we live in, we know all the neighbours.
In fact, he did it on his own initiative, if he'd asked me, I would've said, Oh please don't go begging for money at the neighbours!!
It was for sponsoring for an ice skate-in to raise money for a school in Cameroon, so I was o.k. about that. Also, it was very
little, like 50 cents or a Euro per round (in the skating rink).

[Marielle]

Re: In this day and age

[quote=f0rTyLeGz Being afraid of strangers, and believing that there are &quot;predators&quot; out looking for kids to snatch in every neighborhood is a sorry place to come from when you are a parent, [/quote]

I totally agree with this.....

(S)He who is a stranger today could become a friend tomorrow....

It's all about finding the right balance....

[kia027]

Re: In this day and age

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I was out<span style="font-weight: bold"> walking my dog in the neighborhood, </span>and two young kids came down the sidewalk... a six year old boy on a little bike, and a girl maybe 8 running along beside him, and not a grownup in sight. We moved off the sidewalk so they could pass by, and the little girl stopped and said, &quot;Can I pet your dog?&quot; Well, was I surprised?! This is the first stranger child that has spoken to me first in many years... I thought of this thread... go figure?</div></div>

if you frequently walk your dog in the neighbourhood you are not really a stranger to the children. They know where the dog lives (sorry they are more interested in the dog than you ) and wanted to meet the dog. They were also together and in numbers there is less to fear.

[Gen]

Re: In this day and age

we are all aware (well *I* am) of the statistics when it comes to child abductions. (we watch nancy a night time too)

different strokes for different folks

mi not really concerned with how or what joe grind do wid him pickney dem, his child, his choice.

[Seveen]

Re: In this day and age

kids have bad judgment because they are kids

and the raising kids process involves helping them have better judgment including awareness of predators and what to do if they suspect someone of being a predator

dogs are often used to gain kids trust with strangers - right before they whisk them away

[MsExced]

Re: In this day and age

Amen

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Seveen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">kids have bad judgment because they are kids

and the raising kids process involves helping them have better judgment including awareness of predators and what to do if they suspect someone of being a predator

<span style="font-weight: bold">dogs are often used to gain kids trust with strangers - right before they whisk them away </span></div></div>

[kia027]

Re: In this day and age

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Ms Exced</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Amen

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Seveen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">kids have bad judgment because they are kids

and the raising kids process involves helping them have better judgment including awareness of predators and what to do if they suspect someone of being a predator

<span style="font-weight: bold">dogs are often used to gain kids trust with strangers - right before they whisk them away </span></div></div> </div></div>

yes that is true but what I am saying is in 40legz case, he may already be known to his neighbors

[Kurlie]

Re: In this day and age

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Seveen</div><div class="ubbcode-body">kids have bad judgment because they are kids

and the raising kids process involves helping them have better judgment including awareness of predators and what to do if they suspect someone of being a predator

dogs are often used to gain kids trust with strangers - right before they whisk them away </div></div>

total agree Seveen...it's different time and age we are living in and for me it is not like when I was growing up in Jamaica and everybody knew everybody's child and will look out for each other, here people nuh really bizness with you

[Seveen]

Re: In this day and age

a few weeks ago abu asked to pet a neighbor's dog

the dog head butted him and chipped his tooth

he comes home alone and tells me about his chipped tooth

after filing a police report the neighbor contacted her homeowner's insurance

she never called me or anything to apologize for her dog

he now understands why he shouldn't pet unknown dogs - or allow someone to pet our dog when he takes him out for a walk - you just never know

[Nylah]

Re: In this day and age

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">You suggest that kids don't even look you in the eye, but I would venture a guess that when you asked this little salesgirl, &quot;Where are your mummy and daddy?&quot; that she looked you in the eye... wondering where you were going next?</div></div>

40 you are free to say what you want, I was just posing a question to parents.

As for the above dont put words in my mouth. Ask me how it went first please.

I ask for her parents after I saw how bloody difficult it was for her to tell me about her fundraising activity and explain what she wanted me to buy.

It made me sad that she was so obviously shy and uncomfortable with what she was doing. So yes, for this child I was concerned for where her parents were cause she didnt seem like the kind of kid to handle herself.

That was my judgement of the situation directly in front of me.

As for parents having bad judgement, why preach to the choir on that? Of course they do and nuff shouldnt be parents in the first place is my opinion on the matter.

My parents taught me how to handle myself when I was younger. I had my address, phone number, parents information drilled into my head by time I was 5 yrs old. Said to scream if anyone tried to make me do something I was uncomfortable, etc. I was a shy kid so I needed that kind of propping up.

I actually could play all day in my neighborhood on my own when I was little but still the door to door thing, or trick or treating involved on parent shawdowing me. That is what my parents thought was best.

This is what I mean when I say today kids arent taught how to handle themselves, so yes they have bad jugdment. <span style="font-weight: bold">And you just mentioned that neighbors - ppl that kids know are a part of the 99.9% child abductions. </span>This is part of my point. I knew this kid from seeing her play about the neighborhood. And that means so do the other ppl that she is knocking on their door. And being so ill-equipped to interact with either strangers or ppl she knows just doesnt serve her no matter how you cut it.

[f0rTyLeGz]

Re: In this day and age

Just making a joke about &quot;Where is your mummy and daddy?&quot; It somehow sounds a little threatening to me... like the next question might be, &quot;Do you like chocolate chip cookies? Or, &quot;Would you like to see my puppies?&quot;

Any way, it is a crying shame that parenting is so fraught with anxiety about strangers imo. But, now that Sveen has shared about the dog chipping a tooth, and the cops being called, it makes me think that probably, I shouldn't have let the kids pet Pepper... <span style="font-style: italic">something could have happened.</span>

[kia027]

Re: In this day and age

my children know to ask if they can pet a dog before doing so.

cause they know that our dog is unpredictable so they know to exercise caution.

[Nylah]

Re: In this day and age

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: f0rTyLeGz</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Just making a joke about &quot;Where is your mummy and daddy?&quot; It somehow sounds a little threatening to me... like the next question might be, &quot;Do you like chocolate chip cookies? Or, &quot;Would you like to see my puppies?&quot;

Any way, it is a crying shame that parenting is so fraught with anxiety about strangers imo. But, now that Sveen has shared about the dog chipping a tooth, and the cops being called, it makes me think that probably, I shouldn't have let the kids pet Pepper... <span style="font-style: italic">something could have happened.</span> </div></div>


why I feel to do this to you right about now

Well this is why I posed the question. I would be worried to a great extent about it all. But balance is needed cause I cant take overly dependent kids either. So, you want them to have freedom, but how do you find that balance with all the possibilities out there? And it is kinda hard with kids to just &quot;wing it&quot; cause it could be a final decision for them.

Plus the world is a very different place now than when I was kid. I had more freedom to run up and down the neighborhood because back then ALL the kids in my area had stay-at-home moms. Someone had an eye on you and you knew all your neighbors really well.

My friend and I were talking about where she grew up - a suburb just outside the city - that they never locked their doors at night so that the kids could come and go whenever they please. This lasted til the all moved out.

Now, even in that upscale suburb, a baby was snatched from an idling truck about 2 weeks ago. The mom just ran into the convenience store for 2 mins and that is all it took. It seems like a really tough call to me.

[Nylah]

Re: In this day and age

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Kia</div><div class="ubbcode-body">my children know to ask if they can pet a dog before doing so.

cause they know that our dog is unpredictable so they know to exercise caution. </div></div>


you see my parents had no worries about this with me cause I would spot a dog 200 yards away and go screaming like a mad woman in the other direction

Afraid of dogs like wha?!!